Chapter 26
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
M y shoes sink into the soft ground, and I stand there, waiting expectantly for them to remove whatever is on my head and untie me, but they don’t. Instead, someone grabs hold of my bicep and pulls me forward.
For brief seconds, the wild thought that perhaps they drove me out here to kill me fleets through my head, but it’s such an absurd idea that I shake it off immediately.
They’re messing with me, is all. This is some stupid hazing they’ve planned to get me out of my year-long funk. It has to be.
This could have been prevented if I’d been more fun these last few months.
It’s not for lack of trying on their end. What can I say in my defense?
Arkin broke me.
After he left and didn’t make contact, the appeal of parties simply wasn’t there anymore. I fucked a girl, barely… But it’s progress. What else do they want from me?
The soft ground shifts to something hard beneath my shoes. We walk some more. Somewhere in the distance, an owl hoots, the sound more haunting than I want to admit. My friends whisper to each other, but I can’t make out what they’re saying.
At this point, I’m too fed up to demand answers. The only option is to wait for them to do whatever stupid shit they have planned. The sooner it gets done, the sooner I can return to the house to unpack the boxes stacked in the corner of my room.
It won’t come to that, though, not tonight. I have a feeling I’ll collapse from sheer fucking exhaustion by the time we return.
The initial adrenaline kick I experienced when Ryan attacked me back at the house has worn off, and now my battery is drained. But trust me—as soon as I wake up in the morning, I’m kicking the shit out of him.
After what feels like hours but is only a few minutes, they push me to my knees.
The ground is soft, like grass… Yes, it has to be grass. I’m sure of it.
I wriggle my wrists, the restraint chafing against my sore skin. “Untie me.”
When I feel nothing but the soft, slightly cool breeze, I frown, turning my head left to right, straining to hear. “Harrison? Ryan?”
What the fuck are they playing at? This isn’t funny anymore. I’ve had enough of these games.
“Just fucking untie me.”
I sense the shift in the air behind me as one of my traitorous friends kneels to free me finally. It’s about fucking time. To say that I’m seething would be an understatement.
Fingers work on the restraints—rope, I’m guessing—untying the first knot, and I grind my teeth to stop myself from spewing obscenities.
Strangely, they don’t untie me all the way, leaving me with enough wriggle room to free myself.
Confused, I pull on the restraint, wincing at the bite of pain. While it doesn’t hurt that bad, it stings.
Finally, after what feels like forever, one of my tender wrists slips free, and I remove the rope before ripping the sack off my head. “Real fucking mature,” I mutter under my breath, rising and dusting off my knees.
As I look up, I gasp.
Hundreds, if not thousands, of fairy lights glow softly in the ruins of the abbey, strung across the crumbling arches and winding ivy.
The gentle light shimmers like the stars overhead if they fall and get caught in the stone, illuminating the moss-covered walls in warm, golden hues.
It’s beautiful. Ethereally beautiful. But none of its beauty, no matter how breathtaking, holds a candle to the man standing in the center of the ruins in front of the arch framing the stone bench, which is bathed in light that casts delicate patterns on the ground beneath it. My breath catches, and I glance around quickly to check for my friends, but they’re nowhere in sight.
Heart pounding, as if I’m not ready to believe this is real, as if it’s a cruel dream, I slowly look back at Arkin.
Surrounded by the soft, golden glow of the countless fairy lights, the light catches in his dark hair—hair I’ve run my fingers through.
The loose strands across his forehead cast small shadows over his face, his blue eyes vivid even in the dim light.
Arkin, dressed in a simple dark gray T-shirt, an unzipped black jacket, and jeans that are slightly worn at the knees, watches me intently, the way he did the first time he laid eyes on me.
But now it’s a predatory look, a look with intent.
I don’t know what to say or do, though, so I simply stare at him.
It’s sensory overload seeing him again after all this time standing there amongst the ruins and fairy lights while the dark, silent trees tower like sentinels in the background.
This is the man I fell in love with—the man I’m still madly, deeply, unconditionally in love with. As he walks closer, bathed in the flickering soft glow, I realize I would wait for him forever, no matter how long.
Mum was right all those months ago when she told me to trust in Arkin and the love that we shared. One day, he would return to me. One day, when he was ready.
That day is now.
I swear my knees nearly buckle, but then he’s there in front of me, cupping my cheeks, his eyes boring into mine like he was never gone.
His hair is longer than when he left, but his eyes are the same piercing blue I used to drown in, and now, as the fairy lights flicker in their depths, I feel tears trailing down my cheeks.
“You’re back,” I choke out, not knowing where to touch him first. His arms have bulked up, his chest is firmer, and his hair is softer. I tug on it slightly to make sure he’s real—that this isn’t a dream I’ll wake up from.
Fuck, it’s going to hurt if I wake up from this.
This moment seems so real.
Gliding my fingers through his sharp scruff, I marvel at how real he feels.
This is real, I remind myself. He is here.
“I was always coming back to you,” he whispers, stroking his thumbs over my cheeks. “I didn’t want to be the broken, scared boy I was. You deserve more. We deserve more. I had to go away and work on myself to return stronger, for you and us.”
“Don’t say that.” My voice is so choked I can barely get the words out. “I love all sides of you, Ark. It doesn’t matter if you’re broken. I’ll glue you together myself as long as you’re here with me.”
He presses his forehead to mine, our lips so close that I can almost taste him. “Every day, I thought of you,” he whispers. “Every day, you were my guiding light. And I thought of us. Of all the conversations we’d have. Late nights in bed. Conversations in the light. A time when I wouldn’t crumble at the thought of talking to you in front of other people.”
“And now?” I ask.
Please don’t leave me again. I can’t handle it. I’ll give up my place at university in a heartbeat if it means I get to be with Arkin. Please, whatever is out there, God, energy, whatever, just please let me be with the boy I love.
“I told you. I was always coming back to you.”
I’m clutching his lapels now, desperate to crawl inside him and stay there, nestled deep in his heart where nothing or no one can tear us apart again.
If I sound clingy, I don’t care.
“I’m here,” he reassures me as if he can sense my tumultuous thoughts. “I’m never leaving you again.”
My heart beats so hard I’m lightheaded.
When I place my hand on his chest, feeling the hard muscle beneath his T-shirt, his own heart beats rapidly beneath my fingers.
“You did this for me?” I say quietly, referring to the fairy lights.
He lifts his head and looks around with a soft smile. A vagrant breeze drifts through the abbey ruins, sifting through the strung lights, the soft glow dancing over his sharp features.
As his blue eyes settle on my face again, the dimples on his cheeks deepen. “This is our place, remember?”
He kisses me then, and it’s everything I’ve ever dreamed it would be. All the nights I laid awake picturing this moment, the times I brought myself to release thinking of Arkin—it’s all of those fantasies, yet so much more, in vivid high definition.
Softly, his mouth brushes against mine, his tongue darting out to trail the seam of my lips before he cups the back of my head and attacks my lips with fervor.
Short of climbing him like a tree, I sink my fingers into his hair, mussing it up.
We kiss until my lips are numb, and my heart slowly pieces itself back together as our tongues war for dominance.
It must hurt him when I pull this hard on his hair, but he gives as good as he gets, devouring me like he’s lain awake dreaming of this moment, too, equally tortured and haunted by our memories and the abrupt end we suffered.
I’ve barely gotten him out of my system after suffering a yearlong withdrawal, and now he’s back, coursing through my veins like cocaine. I can’t get enough. I don’t want to get enough.
When I try to remove his coat, yanking it down his shoulders, he stops me with his hands on my wrists.
Confused, heart bruised and a little afraid, our eyes clash.
He presses his forehead to mine again in his signature Arkin move, and his heaving exhale dances over my kiss-swollen lips. “Trust me, I want nothing more than to make love to you here and now, but we’re not alone.” He swallows hard, and I gaze into his eyes for a long moment, my brain slow to catch up.
Harrison and Ryan.
Oh shit.
Untangling myself, I glance around the clearing. “Where are they?”
“They went for a walk,” he says, and I turn back to him with a warm smile.
“I love your voice.”
His kiss this time is slower, deeper.
To my surprise, he guides me down to the grass, and that’s when I realize there’s a blanket spread out.
He lies down on top of me, nudging the tip of my nose with his, then kisses the corner of my mouth, my jaw, and my racing pulse point. “I’d forgotten how nice you smell,” he whispers near my ear, my balls thumping at the sinful rasp of his voice.
Sinking my teeth into my lip, I wrap my legs around his thighs, not caring a rat’s arse if our friends find us here in this compromising position. We’re fully dressed, after all.
Regretfully so.
“There are some things I didn’t forget, though,” he purrs, dragging his lips across my jaw until they’re back at the corner of my mouth. “Like the sounds you make when you come, or how sexy you look covered in my cum.”
“Jesus,” I whisper, a breath rushing from my lips. There are things we need to discuss, like what happens now or where we go from here, but my brain has malfunctioned.
Another toe-curling kiss. Groaning, he rocks into me, his hard cock grinding against mine through our jeans. I almost plead with him to fuck me. Who cares if our friends walk in on this scene? After all, it’s their own fault if they hung around after leaving me here.
“I missed you so fucking much. Every minute of every day. You were all I thought about,” he murmurs between kisses.
Another long moan rumbles in my chest. Fuck. I’m falling apart.
“I’m going to come in my pants if you keep dry fucking me like that,” I admit, palming his toned ass, the rough fabric creasing beneath my fingers. “You feel so good.”
“You gonna come in your pants?” he asks, sounding almost amused but also aroused by the thought, and instead of slowing down, he interlaces our fingers and rocks faster, his hips rolling rhythmically until I’m squirming and gasping.
“I thought we weren’t doing this here?” I barely recognize my own husky voice.
Arkin glances around, still humping me, swamping my body with his big one.
When he looks back down at my face, his smile reminds me of the devil. “We’re dressed. It’s dark. If they’re around, they can barely see you underneath me.” His hard kiss steals my breath, and I taste blood. “Fall apart for me, Zach. Remind me of how sexy you are when you come for me.”
“What, here? In my pants?” I sound ridiculous.
“Shut up,” he drawls, sucking my bottom lip between his teeth, nipping at the sensitive flesh as he rolls his cock against mine. “Fuck, I’ve missed your sweet sounds. You turn me on, baby.”
Groaning, I lose myself for a moment, my cock growing impossibly hard.
He snaps, “Eyes,” and I open them again to see him watching every gasp, every flutter of my lashes. Then, as he parts his lips on another forward thrust, I come apart.
Heat pulses through my stomach and in between my thighs, and jets of cum soak the front of my jeans.
Crushing his mouth to mine, Arkin moans what must be the sexiest sound I’ve ever heard, and then his body collapses on top of mine.
For long minutes, we catch our breaths.
“I can’t believe we came in our pants,” I say with a soft, disbelieving chuckle.
“I can,” Arkin replies, still sprawled on top of me.
It’s hard to breathe with his dead weight on my chest, but I’d gladly let him suffocate me to death. This is Arkin we’re talking about—my biggest love and my greatest destruction.
“We need to fuck soon. I don’t think I can wait much longer,” I admit.
Arkin nuzzles my neck. “Don’t make me leave this spot right here. This is my happy place.”
I hug him close, eyes wet with tears as I gaze up at the fairy lights overhead and the stars beyond. It’s such a novelty to talk to him so freely, to hear his gravelly voice and have its smoky tenor caress my senses. “I love you.”
The words leave my lips before I even realize they are on my tongue.
Suddenly scared, I freeze.
What if he rejects me? What if he thinks we’re moving too fast? I don’t want to scare him off—I’ve only just gotten him back.
He lifts his head, his blue eyes flicking between mine. “Say it again.”
My brows rise toward my hairline. “I love you.”
“Again.”
“I love you.”
A breathtaking smile spreads across his face—so beautiful and genuine that my chest aches.
He leans down and hovers his lips over mine. “I love you too, Zachary Beckett.”
Words fail me. How did I get so lucky?
When his warm lips claim mine again, our tongues brush in soft sweeps, and my heart flutters behind my ribs.
I’m growing hard again, when a voice clearing tears us from our lust-filled bubble.
Arkin lifts his head, and the caveman inside me beats his chest at the thought of my friends seeing Arkin like this—cheeks flushed with arousal, hair mussed up, and kiss-swollen lips. No one else should see him like this but me.
But then I remember my friends are straight, and that reassurance settles the caveman enough that I don’t feel like strangling them when Arkin rolls off me.
“Looks like you made up,” Ryan teases, his voice filled with warm humor.
I stand up, grateful that the dim lights hide the wet patch on my jeans. “I still haven’t forgiven you for kidnapping me.”
There’s a leaf in my hair, and a twig. Removing them, I ignore Ryan’s big, smug grin.
“Yeah, you have,” he says, not a doubt in his voice.
My own smile peeks out.
“Let’s head back. Your parents are unloading Arkin’s stuff in your room as we speak. I’m sure they want to say hi to him.”
There’s so much to unpack and process in that statement. I turn to Arkin, who watches me closely.
His expression is more guarded now, as though he’s worried I’ll turn him down.
Swallowing hard, distrustful of the hope flaring in my already throbbing chest, I whisper, “Your stuff?”
His eyes stay locked on mine, dark and still, like a deep, blue lagoon.
“He’s been accepted to our university,” Harrison explains, but I’m still studying the man in front of me. “We offered him to stay with us. We can make room for him on the couch if you’re not comfortable?—”
“No!” I shake my head, the word a sharp whip. “He stays with me.”
At that, one of Arkin’s dimples makes an appearance, shadowed by the fairy lights.
“Is it true?” I ask, barely daring to believe it. “You’re moving in with us?”
Intense eyes hold me captive as a barely there tip of his chin confirms his decision. He came back to me. He’s here, for me.
“We still have so much to discuss,” I tell him. “I want to know everything about you. Everything,” I emphasize. “Your dreams, ambitions, hopes, and fears. What happened this past year? I want to know everything.”
Stepping closer, he reaches for my hand and interlaces our fingers. With his eyes locked on mine, he brushes his lips over my knuckles in a soft kiss while the soft glow from the fairy lights dances over his features. “We’ll stay up all night talking. Just us, tangled naked in your sheets.”
Ryan scoffs. “Talking? Yeah, right.”
Staring at his mouth as he sinks his teeth into my knuckles in a sensuous bite, my mouth goes dry. “We still have so many things we need to discuss.”
He pulls me close, cupping the back of my head and lining his mouth up with my lips. “And we will, after you bury your dick in me.”
A hard thump lands in my balls.
“If you lovebirds are done, we need to head back,” Harrison informs us.
“What about the fairy lights?” I ask. “We’ll get into trouble.”
“It’s already sorted.” Ryan pats me on the shoulder as we set off. “Don’t worry about a thing, alright. We’ve got it covered.”
Arkin’s warm palm glides against mine, and we interlock our fingers. The tentative smile we share has my heart growing too large for my chest.
I won’t say I have completely forgiven him for not reaching out to me this past year. The hurt is there, and it’s a conversation we’ll need to have.
But for now, I’m content walking side by side with the man I’ve dreamed about every night for the past several months.
Despite the bleeding laceration he left behind, I know deep, deep down that Arkin needed time to work on himself. I know he had no ill intentions and that his goal wasn’t to hurt me. I know he needed space to heal and work through his trauma so that he could come to peace with his past and the atrocious acts he suffered at the hands of two monsters. I respect that.
In the end, all that matters is that he is worth the wait.
And that he beat his demons and came back to me.