Chapter 31 #2
“Did you find any more information on the creature you think is leading the impures?” I ask abruptly, needing the change in topic.
She shakes her head in disappointment.
“We’ll figure it out, don’t worry.”
The doors to the dining hall open, and Eamon clambers in with Kaia and Karius walking behind him.
My breath hitches at the sight of him. A lazy smile on his face, wearing a shirt and a pair of loose pants that hang dangerously low on his waist. He laughs at something Eamon says, and I hate that just the sound of his voice makes my stomach flip.
Gods, get control of yourself, Adina. He looks a lot less stressed than usual.
Lucky him. Glad to know that he has been having the time of his life.
I wait for him to glance my way or meet my eyes, but he doesn’t.
The bastard ignores me. He falls into the seat opposite me without saying a word.
The room spills into a flurry of conversations, and for the first time in a long time, everyone seems so relaxed.
I manage to tear my eyes away from Karius long enough to listen to Kaia giving me some more notes about my fighting style.
She is always in business mode, pushing me to be better, and honestly, it’s much more preferable than the silent scowls she used to give me.
Part of me wonders whether Ajax purposely started to get her to train me to break some of the tension that was brewing between us.
He knew that we both just needed to fight it out.
“Stew. Everybody dig in.”
A chorus of grumbles is exchanged across the table as they all begin picking up bowls from the center of the table and spooning helpings of stew into them.
I sit quietly, not quite knowing what to do.
I’ve never been to a meal like this. Back at the bloodhouse, we were just expected to eat alone in our rooms. Sometimes I would eat with Tori, Cora, or Willow, but for the most part I ate alone.
I watch silently from my spot as they exchange conversation and laughter, digging into the piping-hot food.
A longing for my sister twists deep in my gut.
I’m sitting here, safe at a dinner table, while she is somewhere—only the gods’ know where.
I hate that I want to be happy when the guilt in my gut tells me that it’s wrong.
I want to smile, eat, and laugh, all things that I’ve never even thought of doing.
Usually, my mind is filled with ways that I can get venom for Willow or trying to keep a foolish newblood alive when they forget to follow the basic rules.
This…just being…I don’t know how to do this.
“Here.” A bowl of food appears in front of me, and Piper’s soft voice breaks the onslaught of thoughts attacking me. I throw a genuine smile of thanks her way before pulling the bowl close and picking up the spoon beside it.
Should I feel bad? I whisper within the confines of my mind.
I wait for a while, but the answer never comes. Athriel has been quieter lately, as though this place is dimming his light. I hate it when he doesn’t speak to me. I feel an odd sense of emptiness that eats away at my soul.
I hope you’re not mad at me, too.
Am I supposed to be angry with you?
I barely suppress my smile as his familiar voice fills my mind. I hardly feel like myself these days, and the sound of his voice reminds me of who I am.
You’ve been quiet lately.
I’ve been assessing.
Assessing?
I taste the stew, and honestly, it’s awful. I don’t show it, though. I’ve never had someone cook for me for the simple joy of it, and I can tell why all the others put up with it, regardless of the overly salty flavor.
Assessing what? I ask when he doesn’t answer.
Everything. While you have been reactive, I have been the opposite. Watching and learning.
And what have you learned?
Much, my dear, but that is a conversation for another time. Enjoy your evening. You have not been this happy since you were a child. It’s ok to let yourself feel it. You deserve that happiness, Adina, even if only for one night.
His words touch something deep within me, but it doesn’t take away the incessant need to know what he has discovered.
No, I want to know.
But he doesn't answer, and I’m forced to return to the conversation in the room.
“I’m sorry, but this stew is really bad,” Ajax finally says, which elicits laughter from everyone.
Piper widens her eyes.
“No, it’s not. You complained last time about it having no flavor, so I added just the right amount.”
Kaia coughs as she speaks. “No, you gave us salt with a side of stew.”
All the others start laughing loudly, finally dropping their spoons in their bowls and shoving the food to the side. Even Iza breaks out a smile.
“Gods, I’m glad somebody said it. I was dying over here.
Someone please pass me that jug of water,” Eamon splutters as he finally drops his spoon in his bowl.
I find myself fighting a smile. I haven’t spoken much to the prince’s general since arriving and know so little about him.
Seeing him like this, relaxed and playful, is a stark contrast to his usual serious demeanor.
Karius laughs as he hands the jug to Eamon, and it’s so odd to see them all just acting so casually. They’re not guarding anything or acting like soldiers in meetings or talking politics; they’re just being human.
“And what about you, Adina? You think it’s nice, right?”
Everyone looks at me, and I look around the table for some help, but the look on everyone’s faces tells me that I’m on my own.
“It’s…well-seasoned.” I shrug, and the entire table bursts into floods of laughter.
“That’s the polite way of saying it sucks, sorry, Piper, you tried, we can all tell, but I think it’s time to take up a new hobby,” Ajax teases.
Ivana nods.
“I mean, technically this is her fifth one,” Karius says.
“It is not.” Piper slaps a hand against her cousin’s arm, and he smiles. It’s genuine too. In fact, he has smiled at everyone at this table tonight except me. He has spoken to everyone except me. It’s like he is still punishing me for running away from him the other day.
“Yeah, there was the knitting,” Kaia says.
“Then the ballroom dancing,” Eamon adds.
“And there was the time you wanted to become a researcher.” Iza’s words are almost a whisper, which only makes it funnier, and I have to suppress my own laughter when everyone else starts laughing.
“Isadora Axton, I thought you were better than the rest,” Piper says playfully, and Iza lifts her hands in the air in surrender as she giggles.
Ivana mimes playing a violin, and Ajax laughs.
“She’s right, you did try learning to play the violin too,” he says.
“Those were some painful nights,” Karius says.
She shoves him again, and he leans forward to laugh.
“You said that you loved my violin playing.”
He shakes his head.
“No, I said that I loved that you enjoyed playing the violin.”
She narrows her eyes at him, but you can see her lips quivering like she wants to laugh, really, and something about the exchange reminds me of me and Willow.
We were constantly teasing each other, yet it was never truly serious.
It was our way of connecting and showing that we loved one another, and I miss it so damn much.
I clear my throat and try to hold back the tears that are threatening to spill.
Amid the chatter, Piper’s eyes find mine, and she gives me a look that says, Are you ok? I nod and smile.
“Right, I’m going to get dessert.”
“Oh, gods, there’s more?” Ajax says, and Piper kicks him in the ankle.
“I’ve not reached dessert level yet. I had one of the cooks make it.”
Everyone starts laughing, and I cannot help but join them as Piper rolls her eyes and heads to the kitchen.
The evening goes by in a blur of laughter, funny stories, and lots of ale.
I found myself relaxing throughout the night, and I was surprised to find the joy that I experienced as they all shared their stories of their past. I never stopped to think about what it must be like to live for so long and see so many things come and go, and just remain.
The culture and the experiences they have make me crave the chance to see the world through their eyes.
After dessert, which was a beautifully baked lemon tart, Piper proceeded to get her violin out to prove that she wasn’t as bad as they were all saying.
In all honesty, she was worse. Somewhere between the large helping of ale and laughter, Ajax shoved the table to the side, and Piper and Eamon took to singing old songs from over the years while the others danced around in a circle.
Iza slipped out around an hour ago, explaining that she had research to do, but I think the socializing had become too much.
I make a note to check on her in the morning and see if she is ok.
I lean back in my chair, watching them laugh and dance, the singing providing a strange comfort in the background. I find myself smiling at their happiness, and it’s so at odds with the image I had for the vampires that ruled our court.
“You’re quiet tonight.” Karius’s deep voice slips through the singing in the background, and I hate that it’s now the only thing I can focus on.
He slips into the chair beside me, and I suck in a breath when I feel the press of his thigh against mine.
I’ve been watching him throughout the night, and he hasn’t drunk as much as the others.
He may be relaxed, but he is always on guard. Always watching for danger.
“I haven’t been quiet; you’ve been ignoring me.”
A low rumble of laughter fills his chest, and I feel his arm snake around the back of my chair.
“Does that bother you?” There’s a tone to his voice that causes me to cross my legs.
“No,” I lie. “It’s just an observation.”
“And what else have you been observing?”
Gods, what game is he playing? My heart quickens inside my chest, and I struggle to breathe.
“Nothing.”
He tsks, and I whip my head to look at him. Big mistake. His eyes fall to my lips, and instinctively, I flick out my tongue to wet my lower lip, and he watches the entire movement.
“Remember what I said about intentions, Adina.” He dips his voice so low I almost miss what he says. “I always know what you want even when you try to lie about it…or run away from me.”
I swallow, but I cannot take my eyes off him. I hate him, yet there is an undeniable pull that is drawing me closer.
“I want nothing from you.”
He smiles at this as if I just said exactly what he wanted me to.
“Is that so?” He traces the pad of his finger slowly along my collarbone until he reaches the bottom of my throat.
He gently sweeps the hair from my shoulder, and his eyes home in on my throat.
He presses a finger against the pulse that pounds against my neck, and I fight the urge to moan.
I hate that his touch has this effect on me.
I should be pushing him away, but his touch feels so right.
He shakes his head as his eyes scan every inch of my face.
“I want everything from you. That’s why I stayed away.
” His whispered words leave a mark that burns my soul.
The pattern on my arm tingles with every second that he’s in my presence.
“I see you in every room. I hear you in every voice, and I want you at every moment. Ignoring you is impossible when you are the center of my every need, Adina.”
Suddenly, the doors burst open, and Eamon comes stumbling in. I didn’t even realize that he’d left. His eyes sweep straight to Karius.
“We have a problem.”