Chapter 14
Chapter Fourteen
It took a few days for Marina to fully recover from her fainting incident, but she did not let that stop her from getting settled into her new life as duchess and as Lilly’s new mother figure.
The morning after learning about Lilly’s nightmares, Marina had a quick breakfast before going to speak to Lilly’s nanny.
“Good morning, Your Grace,” the woman said, curtsying. She looked cautious, as if she expected to be turned out without wages or a reference.
Marina smiled cordially. “Good morning. I understand that you are in charge of Lilly’s well-being. I wanted to talk to you about the nightmares and her schedule. I want to understand her better.”
The woman looked regretful. “I am afraid I will not be the most helpful. I only started this position two months ago. From what I understand, His Grace goes through nannies quite quickly.”
“Yes, he is a difficult man to satisfy, isn’t he? He cares for his daughter very much, after all.”
The nanny’s lips pursed. “If you say so, Your Grace.”
Marina fought the urge to defend Evan to the woman. You are not here to convince her to change her opinion of the duke. You are here for Lilly. “Tell me about Lilly’s nightmares, please.”
“They happen at the same time every night,” the nanny said. “His Grace usually gets to her first. He wakes her up. I tuck her in afterwards.”
Marina noticed the dark circles under the woman’s eyes. She doubted the nanny had gotten a decent night’s sleep since she started her employment at Pemberton Manor. “What are the nightmares about?”
“She refuses to talk about them with anyone,” the nanny said. “All I know is they make her scream and cry. However, the dog, Prince William, brings her comfort and helps her get back to sleep.”
Marina filed that information away for later. “Tell me about her schedule and her studies,” she said. “His Grace wants me to help with those.”
“Lilly has a difficult time focusing,” she said. “She gets frustrated with her studies, especially when she does not understand something right away, and she has no patience for her embroidery sampler. However, she enjoys tea time.”
Marina smiled, remembering the little girl mentioning tea parties. “Thank you,” she told the nanny. “Why don’t you get some rest? I will stay with Lilly this morning.”
The nanny hesitated. “His Grace insists that I stay with her at all times.”
“I’m sure he does,” she said. “But he put me in charge of her education and schedule, and I am telling you that I would like some alone time with her. I also need you to be well-rested to tend to her later in the day.” It felt strange wielding her authority like this.
She was used to fading in the shadows, but she could not afford to be so meek, not when Lilly’s well-being was at stake.
The nanny nodded and bobbed a curtsy. “Thank you, Your Grace. Good luck.”
As the woman left to go to her room, Marina knocked on Lilly’s bedroom door. “Lilly? Are you awake? It’s Marina.”
“Come in,” Lilly said quietly.
Marina came in to see the child, looking half-asleep. She hugged a teddy bear in her arms with Prince William curled up at her feet.
Marina sat in the chair next to Lilly’s bed. “I like your teddy bear,” she said. “Does he have a name?”
Lilly froze for a moment before shaking her head and putting the bear down on the bed. “Don’t tell Father,” she said. “He does not like it when I play with toys.”
I will have to have more talks with Evan about his ideas on child-rearing. Either he has no clue, or his abrupt manner has led to grave misunderstandings between himself and his daughter. “Well, I certainly do not mind,” she said. “I think you should play with toys as much as you want to.”
“Really?” Her voice was so small, but full of hope at the same time. It made Lilly’s heart twist.
“Really,” Marina said. “Why don’t you hold Mr. Bear in your lap while we work on lessons today?”
Lilly made a face. “I don’t want to do lessons!”
“I know. But let’s see if we can make it fun, shall we? You do not even have to get out of bed.” Marina looked at the books stacked neatly on the nightstand and picked one up. “I shall read to you for a while. Would you like that?”
Lilly’s expression brightened. “Yes, please.”
“Excellent.” Marina smiled at her charge before she started to read the book aloud. Lilly happily listened as Marina read through a couple of pages of the story. However, when Marina asked her to read the next page, her smile faltered.
“I can’t.” Lilly bit her lip and hugged her teddy bear closer to her chest.
“I’ll be right here to help you,” Marina said. “Just try your best. That is all I can ask for.”
Frowning, the little girl took the book from Marina and looked at the page. She tried to read. “T-the pir, um …”
“Pirate,” Marina said gently.
“The pirate ship … set sah … sa-i …”
“Set sail,” Marina said.
Suddenly, Lilly threw the book across the room. “No!” She shouted. “No! I can’t!”
Marina startled but managed to keep her emotions controlled. “You were doing so well,” she said, rising to pick up the book. “Next time you get frustrated, try not to throw the book.”
The little girl glared at her. “I can’t! I can’t do it!”
“Not yet,” Marina said, smiling pleasantly. “But you can do it with practice. Start again, pointing to every word you read. I’ll help you, and after you read a paragraph, we can go for a walk together!”
The lessons with Lilly were painstaking.
It did not matter the subject: reading, writing, and arithmetic were all challenging for her, and she grew frustrated easily.
Marina stayed kind and let Lilly take frequent breaks to play with toys and Prince William, but it was difficult to keep her patience infinite.
Even though the twins had also struggled with lessons, Marina found out that they were more likely to learn how to read if it meant they could read ‘forbidden literature’ from their father’s library.
Marina had told them about the scandalous books in question in hushed, teasing tones, and their interest had been piqued.
The literature in question was actually assigned reading, and not at all scandalous, but by the time they figured that out, they knew how to read better than most other kids their age.
The twins had also appreciated the fine art of writing insults in pretty handwriting.
Marina staged a competition for them: whoever could write the most creative insult in the neatest handwriting would get an extra scone during afternoon tea.
The twins wrote pages and pages of insults to obtain the daily prize of an extra scone and bragging rights.
But Lilly did not try to derail lessons out of mischief. She just got frustrated and impatient with herself, which led to throwing books, yelling, and even crying. “I can’t do it!” she shouted after a few minutes of trying and failing to spell some simple words. “Too stupid.”
“You are not stupid,” Marina said archly. “You are simply learning. Everyone struggles with reading at first. Even your father did when he was your age.”
Lilly let out a disbelieving groan.
“How about we take a break?” Marina suggested. “You can play with your toys for a few minutes.”
Instead of playing with Mr. Bear, Lilly had trudged to the bed, flopped face down into the pillows, and let out a muffled scream. Marina secretly wished she could do the same.
In the afternoon, Marina traded places with the nanny and governess, who would come in to supervise Lilly as she had tea and worked on her embroidery sampler. Marina felt exhausted, almost as exhausted as she had felt at the wedding. As she went to her bedroom to rest, she tried to remain hopeful.
It’s only the first day. Of course, a troubled child is not a model student, and she does not have to be. I simply have to rise to the occasion, and I will.
However, when Marina went down to dinner, her optimism took a blow when she saw that it was only her and Evan at the table again, with Lilly nowhere to be seen. She crossed her arms and glared at her husband. “Where’s Lilly?”
“She’s in her room,” Evan said. “She is not fit to have dinner with us tonight.”
“You’re withholding food from her?” She could not believe the man could be so cruel.
He looked indignant at the accusation. “Of course not. The maids serve her a plate of food every night in her room. She is more comfortable there.”
“She is better off eating with us,” Marina said.
Evan glared at her. “She’s already adjusting to a big change in her life. Let us not change everything all at once. There is security in routine, whether or not you want to see it.”
Unfortunately, Marina saw the wisdom in what he was saying. It could be too much to change too many things all at once. “All right,” she said. “But I hope she will start joining us for dinner tomorrow.”
“Let’s worry about her lessons right now.
They will help her occupy her thoughts so she doesn’t …
” he broke off, and for a moment, Marina thought he would stop talking altogether.
But he continued, even though it sounded like every word pained him.
“So she doesn’t think about whatever her nightmares entail. ”
He stood up quickly, even though his dinner was only half-eaten. “It’s late. I need to be ready for tonight. Goodnight, Marina.” She stood up as well. “Do you want me to come to her room tonight? When … it happens?”
He shook his head. “No. Not tonight.”
Frustration rose up inside of her. How am I supposed to help make her nightmares go away if I cannot even be in her room when they happen?
But she nodded and sat back down at the table to finish her dinner while Evan left the room. “One thing at a time,” she whispered to herself. “Things cannot change all at once.”
The next days were similar, with Marina helping Lilly with her studies in the morning before resting in the afternoon. Every night, Lilly’s screams woke her up. Tears pricked Marina’s eyes every time it happened.