Chapter 15
Chapter Fifteen
“Your Grace, I thought you would like to know that Marina appears to be back to full health,” Carlson told Evan. “Today, she’s spending the full day with Lilly instead of just half a day.”
Relief hit him like a gut punch. He had not realized how worried he had been about Marina’s health until it appeared the problem was resolved. Evan looked up from the papers on his desk to look at his butler, doing his best to school his reaction. “Excellent,” he said. “For Lilly’s sake.”
Of course, I feel relieved. Now Lilly can enjoy the full benefit of having a mother, and I do not have to worry about her losing a second one so soon.
Satisfied that he found the root cause of his emotions, Evan put them aside. “Perhaps Lilly and the duchess can walk around the gardens this evening. Some flowers should be in bloom, and I am sure both of them will enjoy seeing them.”
“Perhaps you should join them, Your Grace,” Carlson said. “After all, I do not think flowers particularly offend you either.”
Evan shook his head. “I think we both know that I will just spoil the mood.”
“I believe your absence spoils it more,” Carlson said. “The duchess is much too kind to say anything, but I can see the disappointment on her face every time she realizes Lilly is not at dinner and that you do not plan to spend quality time with your daughter.”
“I spend time with my daughter every night. The same time every night.” Evan gritted his teeth. “She does not like to speak to me very much. For all I know, I play a significant role in her nightmares.”
Perhaps Marina will be able to get her to open up about her dreams. With time.
He had to keep reminding himself that these things took time. He could not expect his daughter’s nightmares to go away overnight, but he still felt impatient for them to end.
Evan looked at his pocketwatch. “I should go to dinner. I do not want to keep my wife waiting.”
“Excellent, Your Grace. Should I arrange for Lady Lilly to join the two of you tonight? I believe the cook is making Lilly’s favorite meat pie for dinner.”
“Not tonight,” Evan said. “But if Lilly wants a second helping of food, then she can have it.”
Carlson pursed his lips but inclined his head. “I’m sure she will enjoy the food.” He turned to leave before turning back to look at his employer. “I must say that I’m pleased about how sociable you have been since you became a married man.”
Evan frowned. “I do not understand.”
The butler smirked. “Truly? I would think it was obvious. Since your wedding, you have doubled the number of people you socialize with on a daily basis. First, you only talked with one—me. Now you talk with two people—me and Her Grace.”
Evan rolled his eyes, but he could not stop the urge to smile, not completely. He felt the corners of his mouth turn up slightly. “You are full of jests, Carlson.”
“I am being completely serious, Your Grace.” But the twinkle in his eye said otherwise.
“You are right, of course,” Evan said. “No wonder I am always so fatigued. I am practically a social butterfly now.”
His butler looked at him, looking truly stunned. “Did you just make a jest, sir?”
Evan thought about it for a moment. Did I just jest? Of course, I am not a social butterfly. I barely leave my house, and I do not host parties. But I said it anyway in a light manner, so … He nodded. “I suppose I did.”
“Forgive me, but I did not know you were capable of such things.”
“I understand the concept of jests, Carlson. I just do not partake in them very often.”
His butler grinned. “I shall write Her Grace a thank-you note. It has been less than a week, and she has already improved you quite a bit.”
Evan did not reply, not sure what to say. He barely spent time with his duchess. The only time they spent together was at dinner, and that was so he could ask for updates on Lilly’s progress.
Yes, keep telling yourself that there is a logical reason why you eat dinner with your duchess, he thought to himself as he went downstairs to the dining room. Perhaps you will forget how much you anticipate spending time with her if you focus on the logical reason you do not dine in your room.
He went downstairs to find Marina already waiting for him. “Will Lilly be joining us today?” she asked by way of greeting.
“Not tonight,” he said.
Her lips pursed, and she sat down at the table. He followed suit, and the footmen served them their meals—meat pie, bread, and vegetables, just like Carlson had said earlier.
“How are her studies coming along?” he asked her.
“She is making progress in arithmetic and reading. She can spell a handful of simple words without looking at the page. Her writing still needs work. Her letters are barely legible. But I believe the biggest problem is that her studies still make her miserable.”
“I am glad that she’s making progress,” Evan said. “After she has mastered the fundamentals, she will enjoy it more.” He loved his lessons when he was growing up, especially after he understood the basic concepts his tutors were trying to tell him.
Lessons and academia are straightforward and a refreshing change from the vague subjective nonsense that often comes with social engagements and other parts of life. “What are the words she knows how to spell?” he asked her as he took a sip of his tea.
“She can now spell cat, dog, and cup, and sit easily. I’m letting her choose which new words she wants to practice because it makes her more interested in the lessons. She is working on learning how to spell ‘prince’. I have a feeling ‘William’ will become her next endeavor.”
“Very good,” he said, nodding. “I will ask her to spell some words then.”
Marina’s expression brightened. “Are you planning to spend some quality time with her this evening?”
“Not this evening, no. But tonight.”
She looked confused for a moment before realization dawned on her. “You cannot mean to test her spelling skills after she wakes up from a nightmare!”
“Why not? It will help her.” He did not understand why she looked so horrified at the thought.
Marina set down her fork and crossed her arms in front of herself. “Please explain how you think making her recite lessons will help her when she is recovering from a horrible dream.”
“She will be too focused on spelling words to think about the nightmare. She will be pulled out of her imagination, and the less time she spends wielding it, the better.”
“You really believe that, don’t you?”
He frowned. “Of course I do.” What good did imagination do? It only brought his daughter terror every night. “I do not understand why you look so displeased. I am not planning on making her learn new words in the middle of the night.”
“Yes, because that would be ridiculous,” she said dryly.
Evan felt irritated. Obviously, she thought teaching new words to a frightened child in the middle of the night was ridiculous, so why did she say it with a sarcastic tone?
Instead of trying to figure it out, he decided to state facts.
“She is comfortable spelling simple words. It will give her something to do to pull her out of the nightmare. Spelling them will also build her confidence in academia.”
“She struggles enough trying to find joy in her lessons. The last thing I want is for her to associate them with her nightmares.”
“It could help her.”
“It certainly will not.” She gave him a stern look. “The fact that you do not think so means you do not spend enough time with your daughter. I thought you were going to start spending more quality time with her.”
“I said I would consider it,” he said. “But she would not enjoy that. She certainly associates me with her nightmares, if not her spelling.”
“You’re her father! She certainly wants to spend time with you—even if she doesn’t at the moment, she needs to.”
“Why?”
She scoffed. “You need to ask why?”
“Clearly,” he bit out. He disliked it when someone thought something was completely obvious when it clearly wasn’t. They would often act incredulous before regarding him as if he were a serial killer waiting to happen.
Marina did not get angry, however, nor did she look at him as if he were about to attack her. Instead, her expression softened. “You want her to have routine, stability, and familiarity, yes?” Her voice was gentle, but not like she was speaking to a child. Her tone made him relax a little.
He nodded. “Of course.”
“You are the most constant person in her life,” she said.
“Her mother is dead, and I have not even been here a week. Her nannies do not stay very long—speaking of, I believe Mrs. Miller hinted at searching for a nanny position at a different manor, so I do not think we can rely on her for very long.”
“That is fine. I do not care for her anyway. She is too cavalier about leaving Lilly in her room unsupervised.”
“My point is that you are the only living adult that she has known her entire life. Your presence gives her stability and familiarity.”
“I never thought about it like that,” he said. “But what you say makes sense.”
She looked startled. “Truly?”
“Yes, of course. Doesn’t it make sense to you?” Why would you say it if you thought your argument was nonsensical? He wondered if she had really recovered from her fall. Perhaps he should summon the physician to make sure she did not have lingering effects of confusion.
“I—I did not think you would agree,” she said. “I thought you would just dismiss it.”
“You presented a sound argument,” he said. “I will endeavor to spend some more time with Lilly.”
She smiled in a way that lit up her entire face. “Thank you,” she said, as if he had given her a beloved present instead of just listening to her reasoning and agreeing to it.
He did his best to ignore the warm feeling he felt in his chest at the sight of her smile.
Somehow, she became even prettier when she smiled, with the way her eyes practically shone with happiness.
He could have kicked himself. Such useless thoughts to waste energy on. Even if they are pleasant ones.