Chapter 15 #2
That night, when the piercing scream reached him, Evan went into Lilly’s room like usual and woke her up. “You are safe,” he said. “That dream cannot hurt you.”
Lilly kept crying and holding her arms. Why is she still holding herself like she is cold?
He looked at the blazing fire in her fireplace.
He had requested the maids put an extra log in her fireplace, but it was clearly not enough.
I have to send for the physician in the morning to make sure she is not falling ill.
The nanny came in then, carrying Prince William. She had an irritated look on her face, as if tending to her ward was an inconvenient task.
“You may set the dog on the bed and leave,” he told the woman. “I’ll get her settled.” If Marina is right, then I need to spend more time with my daughter. I might as well start now.
The nanny shrugged and plopped Prince William on the bed. She gave Evan a half-hearted curtsy before leaving the room.
Evan turned back to his daughter, who was still crying. Prince William jumped on her, licking her face.
“Do not crowd her,” he said, gently picking up the little dog and setting him at the foot of the bed. “Perhaps you should sleep in here from now on,” he said to the pup. “You always end up in here anyway.”
“Not his fault,” Lilly said, sniffing. She glared at her father. “Not mine, either.”
He stared at her, shocked. “I never … of course, the nightmares are not your fault.” Did she really think I blamed her for her dreams?
She flopped down on the bed, sniffling.
Evan pulled the blankets up over her. “Marina told me that you are making progress on your lessons. I am pleased to hear that.” It felt strange to say her name out loud.
He thought of her as ‘Marina’ more often than not, but he had never said it before.
However, calling Marina ‘Her Grace’ felt strangely formal with his five-year-old daughter.
The little girl didn’t reply. He wondered if she was about to fall asleep, but she was staring up at the ceiling, wide awake.
Feeling awkward, he stood up and started to pace around the room. “Perhaps tomorrow we can take Prince William down to the river. As long as the weather permits.”
“We can play fetch,” she mumbled.
He relaxed at her response. At least she’s not ignoring me. “Yes. Let us just take care not to toss the ball into the river this time. We do not want to worry our resident River Lady.”
Lilly smiled, her tears officially dried. Evan ran his hands in his pockets and looked at the door. “I should let you sleep,” he said. “Goodnight, Lilly.”
“G’night—Goodnight, Father.” She corrected herself at the last second.
Her enunciation is getting better every day. At this rate, it will not be long before she is more eloquent than half the people in the ton. The thought brought him pride, but also sadness. He didn’t like the thought of his little girl growing up so quickly.
As he went to the door, his foot brushed against something soft. He looked down to see a teddy bear on the ground. He picked it up, frowning. “What’s this doing here?” I thought she stopped playing with her toys last year. Maybe Prince William dragged it out from some nook or cranny.
Lilly stayed silent, staring at him with wide eyes.
“There’s no point with your room being cluttered with old toys,” he said. “I’ll arrange for someone to take it to a charity shop tomorrow.”
“No!” Lilly shouted.
He looked at her. “There is no need to shout. That is no way to properly communicate.”
She let out a sob and pouted at him.
“What are you trying to say?” he said, stepping closer to her. “Are you trying to say you still want this old bear? I thought you had outgrown it.”
She turned onto her side, so she was facing away from him. “I hate you,” she whispered.
The words stabbed him in the heart. He gritted his teeth and put the bear on the nightstand. “You can tell the maids to take the bear when you’re ready,” he said. Somehow, he managed to keep the emotion out of his voice.
Good. Just remain a picture of strength for her. She needs to know she can depend on me, no matter what her opinion of me is.
Lilly did not turn to look at him, nor did she respond.
He turned to go to the door. “I look forward to playing fetch at the river tomorrow,” he offered.
“I’m not going!” she said. “Don’t wanna.”
He sighed. “You meant to say ‘you do not want to’.” His voice was quiet as he opened her bedroom door. “Sleep well, Lilly.”
As soon as the door closed behind her, he was alone in a dimly lit hallway. He heard Lilly mumbling to herself from behind the door. “You wouldn’t make me get rid of my toys, would you, Mr. E?”
Mr. E. That person or figment of her imagination was haunting her. That couldn’t be a good sign. He sighed and rubbed his face with his hands. Marina was wrong after all.
He should have known better than to think that Lilly would be all right spending time with him. She might have known him all her life, but his presence did not bring her the stability Marina thought it did.
“She needs her mother,” he muttered to himself as he went to his own bedroom. “Not her father.”