Chapter 17
Chapter Seventeen
Evan still had some documents he needed to review, but he decided to leave five minutes early for Lilly’s nursery anyway. He could not focus, not after his wife told him she needed a more intimate connection.
She did not mean it romantically. She just wants me to talk to her about things other than Lilly.
No matter how many times he told himself that, he couldn’t stop the fantasies about holding her close and kissing her that ran through his mind.
Marina had gotten under his skin. Something about her calling him ‘Your Grace’ did not sit well with him.
Perhaps that’s because Lilly’s mother always referred to me formally. The angrier she was, the more she used my title to put distance between us. He did not want Marina to put the same distance between them, although it should not really matter.
After all, Marina made it clear that she cared for Lilly. Even if a silk merchant caught her eye, she would not abandon his daughter.
“So why does it matter if she wants to distance herself from me?” He muttered to himself as he approached Lilly’s nursery.
It was unsettling how much his new wife fascinated him.
He caught himself looking at her a little too long during dinner sometimes, and when she was in his study, he had gotten close enough to smell the faintly floral perfume she wore.
She is so vexing; she made me admit that I always notice her. Why did I say that?
Right outside Lilly’s door, he stopped and took a deep breath to collect himself. He did not want Marina to see him look so affected in her presence, and he certainly did not want Lilly to see him look weak or unsure.
He knocked politely on the door.
“Come in!” Marina called.
He opened the door and found both Lilly and Marina dressed to go outdoors, complete with sun hats and parasols.
“What’s this?” he said, his voice coming out harsher than he expected. Lilly frowned and turned her back to him, her arms crossed in front of her.
Marina smiled at him, ignoring Lilly’s behavior. “We’re going fishing.”
“That does not sound like a lesson to me,” he said.
“It is a lesson. It’s science and exercise at the same time. Now, let us be off. Prince William and I are both eager to get some fresh air today.”
“Let me get my hat and coat,” Evan said. He turned and almost ran into Carlson, who was carrying the mentioned items.
“No need, Your Grace,” the butler said with an amused smile. “Her Grace already informed me of your plans and asked me to bring them to you.”
“How thoughtful,” he said, taking them and putting them on. It was nice of her to think of me.
Carlson smirked. “Cheer up, Your Grace. When was the last time you found the time to go fishing?”
“Why do I need to cheer up? I am not upset,” Evan said. He knew he didn’t look upset. Merely neutral.
The butler inclined his head. “My mistake, Your Grace.”
Before he could think more about it, Lilly ran past him, with Prince William hot on her heels. Marina joined him at the door, smiling. “Time to catch a fish,” she said.
He nodded.
It was a nice, sunny day outside. Perfect for walking to the river and fishing. Marina carried Lilly’s fishing pole as the little girl skipped ahead, tossing a ball down the path for Prince William.
Evan looked at Marina, who was smiling while watching the little girl. “This is not going to work, you know.”
She arched an eyebrow at him. “Oh?”
“Lilly likes throwing the ball for Prince William,” he explained. “But she is not terribly fond of the outdoors. Nor is she fond of me, as you well know.”
“She is fond of you. And even if she weren’t, you are her parent. It’s up to you to take the initiative to find things she’s interested in and spend time doing them with her.”
“How would that make her like me?” It did not make sense. Either someone liked him, or they didn’t. More often than not, it was the latter.
“It shows that you care. Now stop looking so cold.”
He frowned for a moment before attempting a jest to cover up his confusion. “What do you mean, cold? It’s warm today.”
A small smile tugged at her lips, but she didn’t respond. Instead, she looked at Lilly, who was still running in front of them. “What’s your favorite flower, Lilly?” she asked.
The child looked at her for a moment, perplexed, before she turned back to the dog. “Lilies,” she said.
Marina chuckled. “Of course. You were well-named then. And what is your favorite fish?”
“Dunno.”
“Lilly,” Evan warned.
She made a face at him. “I do not know,” she said, emphasizing every word.
Marina gave him an exasperated look. “That’s all right. We can find out together. Run to the river, but stay on the shore with Prince William. We will be there in a moment.”
Lilly and Prince William ran ahead, and Marina turned to Evan. “Do not do that.”
“Do what?”
“Correct her speech. Not when it’s not her lessons.”
“She is supposed to be having lessons right now. That includes the art of conversation, does it not? Wouldn’t that help her socialize with people when she’s older?
” It only made sense to him. As much as he would rather keep Lilly at the manor forever, sooner or later, she will have to start socializing with people and get ready for her debut in society.
Marina has been very insistent on Lilly socializing with other children. Why isn’t she happy that I’m taking it seriously?
“You need to learn how to talk to her without correcting her. Not every conversation needs to be a lesson.”
“I do not make every conversation a lesson,” he said.
“Forgive me. I must be mistaken, Your Grace.” Amusement colored her tone, but the title caught him by surprise, just like it had earlier.
“Do not call me that.” His voice sounded angrier than expected.
She startled slightly at the sound of his tone.
“I was only jesting.” Her voice was a little wounded, which reminded him of how she flinched in his study, as if she had been expecting him to yell at her.
He took a deep breath and summoned a fact to the front of his mind, just like he had in his study.
Her mother yelled at her, and her father ignored her. Flinching was only instinct.
“Forgive me,” he said. “I want you to know that I will never lash out at you, even when we disagree on something.” After a moment of deliberation, he said.
“I noticed you flinch in my study. I never want to give you a reason to. I do not want you to see me as someone to fear. Rather, I would rather you see me as … an ally.” He stumbled over the last word.
‘Ally’ did not feel correct. Partner? Friend? Surely not lover.
She blushed and looked away. “Thank you,” she said. “I appreciate you telling me … Evan.”
The sound of his name made him relax, but conversation made him feel unsure. He decided to change the subject. “What did you mean when you said I was cold?”
“Your manner,” she said. “You act like you’re annoyed to be here.”
“I am not annoyed.”
“Lilly doesn’t know that. All she sees is a frown on your face.” She pulled her face into an exaggerated frown. “This is what you look like. All of the time.”
“I look nothing like that.”
“You do to a child.”
“Forgive me if I do not smile constantly. My wife died only last year, leaving me with a grieving child who wakes up screaming every night,” he said.
Not to mention the ton seems to think I poisoned her, and she made it clear for years how much she disliked marrying me.
Even though he tried to tell himself that it did not matter what other people thought about him, the constant looks of disdain and casually thrown insults had worn him down.
“I understand,” she said softly. Sympathy shone in her eyes. “But that’s all the more reason to smile, especially around Lilly. It has been a grim year for her, too. She deserves some levity. And you deserve to be happy.”
He could not figure out how to reply to her. By now, they had reached the river, where Lilly was tracing patterns in the muddy shore with the tip of her shoe. Prince William was splashing in the water, barking with excitement.
Evan breathed in the scent of wet earth, fresh water, and even a hint of algae. When he was a child, he disliked the outdoors, which did not hold the same fascination that books did to him. But now that he was older, he could appreciate it more.
“Prince William,” Marina called.
The little dog ran out of the water and stopped at her feet, tail wagging as water dripped from his fur. Marina grinned and leaned down to pet him.
Lilly laughed. “River Lady,” she said.
The duchess smiled. “That’s me, isn’t it? Foolishly diving in to save a dog that does not need saving.” She gave the dog a mock stern look. “Although I would appreciate it if you stayed out of the river, mister. You are trying your luck with such a strong current.”
Prince William jumped on her skirt in response, covering it with mud and water.
“Down,” Evan ordered the dog.
The little dog whined but fell into a sitting position anyway.
“It’s all right,” Marina said. “I do not mind getting my dress dirty.” She looked at Lilly, whose smile was already fading, and then back at Evan. She grinned. “Evan, why don’t you tell Lilly about how you heroically saved me during that fateful day at the river?”
His breath caught slightly when she said his name. “I did not save you,” he said. “You were never in any physical danger, except from maybe catching a cold.”
Marina elbowed him. “Tell it anyway.”
Evan looked at his daughter, who was looking at him expectantly.
“Very well,” he said. “Prince William and I were walking along the river, and I threw the ball for him. He dove into the river to catch the ball, as you know. The last thing I expected to see was a young lady diving in after him. Your nanny was shocked as well, because she saw fit to grab your hand and take you back to the manor so I could handle the awkward situation alone.”