Chapter 24
Chapter Twenty-Four
Evan watched Lilly during dinner. She was smiling, but also so tired that her eyes were drooping as she finished her food. After dinner, the Shirley sisters prepared to leave.
“Thank you for your hospitality, Your Grace,” Amelia said, curtsying at the entrance of the dining room.
He inclined his head. “I am glad all of you could make it.”
Bethany curtsied. “I cannot wait to come back. Today was marvelous.”
The twins curtsied and left the room without saying anything to him, but they waved goodbye to Lilly.
Marina looked at her husband with a small smile on her lips. “I will walk them to the door,” she said. “You should take Lilly to bed before she falls asleep on her dirty plate.”
He nodded before turning to his daughter. “All right,” he said softly. “Up you get.”
She rubbed her eyes as she stood up and grabbed Evan’s hand.
“Did you have fun today?” he asked.
“Mm-hm,” she said. “Why can Marina have friends over, but I cannot?”
Her question stabbed at him. Had she truly wanted to play with other children that much?
Perhaps I can arrange for a child or two to play here.
But what parent would want to send their children over to a strange house, even with a nanny?
I would have to talk to the parents. Everything sounded dreadfully complicated.
He knew he would have to figure something out, but the thought made him ill.
“Father?”
“Yes, Lilly?” He realized he forgot to answer her.
“Why does Marina get to have friends?”
“Technically, they are her sisters,” he said, for lack of a better reply.
“Well, then, can I have a sister?” She sounded a little impatient.
Evan cleared his throat and focused his gaze on the paintings that decorated the hallway. “Unlikely,” he said.
“Why?”
“It is complicated.”
“Why?”
I should have walked Marina’s sisters to the door while she took Lilly upstairs, if only to avoid this line of questioning.
Even as he thought it, he was happy she was talking to him more. He would prefer uncomfortable questions instead of her being completely silent with him. “Marina would need to be comfortable enough to carry a baby in her stomach. That is a lot of work on her part for many months.”
“But she loves kids!”
“She does. But carrying a child is not something to be taken lightly. She could get sick.” He swallowed at the thought of something happening to Marina. He pushed those thoughts away. Those worries did not matter because he doubted Marina would ever be willing to carry his child.
They were on friendlier terms, but he was still too cold.
She felt the need to fight to be seen by him.
He doubted she would be comfortable seeing him in a romantic light.
The thought depressed him more than he expected it to.
He cleared his throat. “Besides, babies are a lot of work. They are very noisy and require constant care.”
“I could help care for them! I can help!”
Evan smiled at her earnest statement. “I’m sure you would help. You would be a good big sister. But babies are fragile. It would be a long time before you could play.”
She pouted. “I can wait. Just like I waited to meet Princess Delphinium the Third.”
“Waiting for a baby to grow up is much different than waiting for a fish.”
She pouted. “Promise me you’ll think about it.”
He chuckled. “All right. I’ll think about it.” But it didn’t matter how much he thought about it if Marina didn’t feel comfortable enough to carry his child. “I am glad you had a lot of fun today,” he said. “But now it is time for you to go to sleep.” They stopped in front of Lilly’s door.
She yawned as he opened the door for her. “All right.”
He tucked her into bed, smiling softly. “Sweet dreams,” he said.
She pouted. “Unlikely,” she said, mimicking his tone from earlier.
He winced at his poor choice of words. “Well, maybe this night will be different.” He walked to the door. “Goodnight, Lilly.”
“Goodnight, Father.”
He left the room and jogged back downstairs, where he found Marina walking away from the front door.
Her sisters had just left. She was smiling and humming softly to herself, and the sight of her made his heart beat faster.
Have I ever seen her this happy before? Perhaps I should have arranged for her sisters to visit sooner.
She grinned when she saw him. “Is Lilly asleep?” she asked.
He nodded. “I’m sure she fell asleep as soon as I left her room.”
“Excellent,” she said. She smiled dreamily. “Today was so wonderful. Thank you for inviting them. I didn’t realize how much I missed them until they were here.”
“You can invite them any time you want. You do not need my permission.” The words were out of his mouth before he could think about them, but he did not regret them. It was only reasonable.
She raised her eyebrows. “Really? I thought they could only visit when you invited them.”
I did say that, didn’t I? He enjoyed his peace and quiet, but it never should have been at the expense of his wife. “This is your home, too. You can invite whom you want. Just inform me in advance.”
Her smile was bright and sunny. It was beautiful, but it only made him feel more guilty because she rarely smiled like this, at least when it was just the two of them.
“I need to apologize,” he said softly.
Her brow furrowed slightly, but she did not say anything. Instead, she waited for him to continue.
“I remember you saying you felt invisible. That is my fault. I should have been more respectful of your feelings and listened to you more. Despite my best efforts, I can be irrationally stubborn at times.”
A wry smile tugged her lips as she stepped closer to him. “Sometimes?”
He breathed out a laugh and ducked his head, which brought their faces closer together.
“Yes. Sometimes. But I don’t want you to feel invisible here.
I need you to know that I appreciate everything you do for Lilly.
For me.” His gaze dropped to her plump, soft lips.
He had barely felt them during the wedding ceremony. Now that felt like a tragedy.
She licked her bottom lip, looking a little nervous. But she did not step away or break eye contact with him. “For you?” Her voice was a mere whisper.
You’ve made my life better. You’ve shown me that marriage does not have to be a nightmare.
The words stuck in his throat. The thought of saying them made him feel like he was cutting himself open, and he could not do that.
But she still looked up at him, waiting for a response and looking so beautiful …
All of his thoughts, rational and irrational, were scattered. Unable to restrain himself anymore, he closed the distance between them and pressed his lips against hers.
A shiver ran down his spine as he kissed her. He inhaled sharply, breathing in her sweet, gentle scent as he pressed a hand to the small of her back.
Marina let out a surprised noise that quickly turned into a sigh as she kissed him back. Timidly, she grabbed the lapels of his jacket and held them as if to steady herself.
The kiss lasted for only a few seconds, but it was enough for Evan to commit every detail to memory. It is not enough. I could get a lifetime of kisses from her, and it would not be enough. He pulled away from her and studied her expression to make sure he had not made a horrible mistake.
She looked almost awestruck as she stared up at him with a flushed face. Her lips were red and slightly swollen from the kiss, and the sight of her made her all the more tantalizing. “T-thank you,” she said.
He raised his eyebrows at her, unable to stop the rush of satisfaction from making her trip over her words. “You’re thanking me for the kiss?”
She looked away. “It was unexpected.”
Concern filled him. “Was it wrong? I will not do it again if you are not willing.”
“No!” she said quickly. “I-I mean, it was not wrong. I liked it.”
“Good. So did I.” He cleared his throat and looked away, feeling flustered all of a sudden. “Good night, Marina,” he murmured before spinning on his heel and walking away.