Chapter 25
Chapter Twenty-Five
Marina spent the next three days thinking about the kiss. It was better than anything she ever could have imagined. She had felt so faint on her wedding day that she barely remembered the brief brush of his lips for the ceremonial kiss. As far as she was concerned, it was her first kiss.
If only it might not be my last. She thought as she watched Lilly set up her table for tea time.
They never talked about the kiss after it happened, let alone had another one.
He probably considered it a lapse in judgment, or a moment of emotion winning out over pure logic.
Marina did not know how to bring it up. It would hurt too much to hear him say it was a mistake. So, she said nothing at all.
“Marina!” Lilly called.
She realized she had spaced out for a long time and had not heard what Lilly had said to her. “Sorry,” she murmured. “I was woolgathering for a moment.”
Lilly giggled. “Can I gather wool?”
“In your imagination, you can.” Marina smiled at her. “What did you ask me?”
“I asked if you wanted sugar or milk in your tea?”
“I would love a little of both. Thank you.” She held out the small, pink teacup.
Lilly pretended to spoon sugar into the empty cup. “Wait your turn, Mr. E,” she muttered off to the side.
“Mr. E? Who is he?” Marina had never heard the name before. Then again, this was the first time Lilly had invited her for tea. Her tea parties were exclusive affairs, after all. Even though her nanny supervised, she never participated herself.
“He is normally a kind man. But he is being very impatient at the moment. He is not used to having another guest for tea.” She shot a stern look at the empty chair to her left.
“As punishment, he is getting served last.” She turned to her teddy bear, to her right, with a smile.
“I know you want a small drop of milk, Mr. Bear. No sugar.”
Something about Mr. E. unsettled Marina. She looked at the empty chair as if expecting some specter to appear. “Where did you meet Mr. E?” she asked.
“He’s always been here,” Lilly said. “Since as long as I can remember.”
“Is he a grown-up?”
Lilly giggled. “Of course, silly. I would not call a child ‘mister’ anything.”
An image of a strange shadow man skulking around the grounds flashed through Marina’s mind, and it left a sour taste in her mouth. “Is this a man who wanders the property? Do others know about him?”
Lilly shrugged. “Sometimes he wanders. Most times, he’s with me. My nanny knows about him because he always comes for tea.”
“And he’s in this room? Right now?”
“Of course, silly.” Lilly pointed to the empty chair. “He’s sitting right there.”
Mr. E must be an imaginary friend. Relaxing slightly, Marina looked at the empty chair. “I beg your pardon, Mr. E. I did not see you there,” she said solemnly.
“Of course you didn’t,” Lilly said. “No one can see him except me. He’s invisall.”
“Invisible?”
Lilly nodded. “Yes! But he’s always here.”
Marina had recalled times during lessons when Lilly would mutter to herself. During walks, she could talk incessantly to Prince William. Maybe some of those remarks were actually addressed to Mr. E.
“What does Mr. E. say during our lessons?”
She pouted. “He tells me to do better. He gets sad when I get something wrong. But he smiles when I get something right.”
“It is not nice of him to get sad when you get something wrong. Making mistakes is part of learning.”
“Mr. E. thinks you’re wrong,” Lilly said matter-of-factly. “But it is all right. He likes you anyway.”
“Does he now?” She arched an eyebrow at “Mr. E”. “I am honored, Mr. E.”
“He nodded at you,” Lilly said. “He’s smiling.” She smiled indulgently at the empty chair. “All right. You can have some tea now that you’re being good.”
“What does Mr. E look like?” Marina asked.
“Really old,” Lilly said. “Like Father.”
Marina took a sip of imaginary tea in order to keep a straight face. “Your father is twenty-seven years old, Lilly.”
“Exactly. He’s old.”
Marina’s hand went up to her mouth as she snorted her laughter. “Tell me more about Mr. E.”
“He’s my best friend,” she said. “Well, except for you, Mr. Bear, and Prince William. He loves walking with Prince William. And he likes fishing too! Yesterday, he went to the river and talked to Princess Delphinium the Third. She is doing very well. She just got new seaweed curtains in her drawing room.”
“How marvelous,” Marina said. “How long have you known Mr. E?”
She hummed in thought, and her brow furrowed. “He showed up a little after Mama died.”
Marina asked more questions over tea, careful not to push too hard and make the little girl shut down. By the time tea was over, Marina was sure ‘Mr. E’ was Lilly’s imaginative stand-in for her father. She certainly has a vivid imagination. And she’s also very lonely.
Marina waited until after dinner to bring it up with Evan.
She waited until the nanny had taken Lilly to wash up before bed before turning to him.
Evan himself was about to leave the dining room to go to his study, but he paused in the dining room entrance when he realized she had not risen from her seat. “Is everything all right?”
“There is something I need to talk to you about. It is about Lilly,” she said.
He frowned and nodded slowly. “All right.” He took his seat again. “What’s wrong?”
Marina felt a little silly bringing this up, knowing there was a good chance he would laugh or brush it off. After all, children have active imaginations all the time. But this felt important. She had to talk to him about it. “I had tea with Lilly today. For the first time.”
His lips quirked up in a smile. “You have not attended her tea before?”
“It is a very exclusive event.” She arched an eyebrow at him. “Some say that when children have imaginary tea, they model it after their parents. How do you take your tea, Evan? In your office with your best friends: Mr. Book and Mr. Newspaper?”
He inclined his head in acquiescence. “Understood. Continue.”
“Well, at tea, she mentioned having an imaginary friend. One that I had never heard of before.”
Any mirth on his face was quickly erased. He leaned forward, looking intent. “Did this imaginary friend have a name?”
She nodded, feeling relieved that he was taking her seriously. “Yes. Mr. E.”
He nodded. “I have heard that name before. At first, I thought it was an intruder on the premises, or even a spy from Mr. Barrowman. Now I don’t know who this Mr. E fellow is. Perhaps that is what she calls one of the servants, or an image from a painting, although I can’t imagine which one.”
Marina shook her head. “Mr. E. isn’t real. He’s simply a figment of her imagination.”
Evan frowned. “She imagined an entire person? That seems unlikely.”
“The imagination is a powerful force, especially when it belongs to a child.”
He grimaced. “I know. It gives her terrors every night.”
“It can also be her friend.”
He shook his head. “Why would she imagine an adult man named Mr. E?”
Marina shrugged. “Because she is lonely. After her mother died, she didn't see a lot of people. Just me, you, and some of the staff in the house. This character she created is there to comfort her.”
He scoffed. “How can something like that bring her comfort?”
“Believe it or not, most humans need connection with others.” She smiled. “Even you. Do not deny it. You would have been a mess without Carlson this past year.”
He gave her a wry smile. “No, I certainly can’t deny that.”
“If her imagination is powerful enough to scare her every night, it’s also powerful enough to comfort her by creating an imaginary friend.”
He sighed but nodded. “All right. I trust your judgment about this. However, this character she has created has always made me uneasy. I guess it is my fatherly instinct that tells me so.”
Marina smiled. Before their wedding, she never would have thought to hear him utter a phrase as sentimental as ‘fatherly instinct’. She was glad to be getting more out of him now.
“I do not think it is something to worry about. Not in the way you are, at least.”
He arched an eyebrow. “How am I worrying about it?”
“Mr. E makes you want to add more structure to her life to crowd out her imagination, while also keeping her home, where she is safe.”
“Yes,” he said slowly. “Of course, I want to keep my daughter safe. From real threats and imaginary ones.”
“You’ve done a good job of that,” Marina said. “You have done everything you can to protect her. But now she is overprotected.”
“There is no such thing,” he said.
“She’s lonely. That’s why she created Mr. E—who is just you, by the way. You’re her imaginary friend.”
He sighed. “I suppose she is.”
Marina stared at him, stunned. “You are admitting it?”
“Yes, I tend to change my mind when there is evidence saying I’m wrong.” He gave her a sheepish smile. “It is probably no coincidence that she invited you for tea after attending tea with your sisters. That night, she had also asked me why I was allowed to have friends over, but she could not.”
“So, we should make arrangements, then,” Marina said eagerly. “There must be other children her age that she can have playdates with.”
He looked thoughtful, but he nodded. “I shall think about the best way to go about it. But yes, I think some children her own age will benefit her.”