Chapter 26
Chapter Twenty-Six
Two nights after his conversation with Marina, Evan was up late, as usual, looking at his watch. Lilly still had nightmares. But for the past few nights, she had not screamed in her sleep. Instead, she would whimper, and shortly after waking up, she would be calm enough to go back to sleep.
The nightmares were at least milder, even if they were not gone, and for that, he had Marina to thank.
But tonight, Lilly’s shrill scream pierced the air, and a heavy weight plunged into his stomach at the sound of it. He took off running to his daughter’s room. Today was like any other. What could have made her nightmares so bad again?
When he arrived at Lilly’s bedroom door, he was surprised to see Marina already there. She leveled him with a look that dared him to send her away.
He would do no such thing. If Lilly’s nightmares were coming back like this, then she needed Marina with her.
He opened the door and stood to the side to let Marina into the room.
Marina sat on the edge of the bed and gently grabbed Lilly’s hand. “Lilly, sweetheart. It’s time to wake up.” Her gentle voice crooned.
Evan walked around to the opposite side of the bed and mimicked Marina’s posture by sitting on the edge of it. He grabbed his daughter’s other hand. “Lilly. It’s time to wake up.”
Her eyes fluttered open as she shot straight up into a sitting position. Tears were streaming down her cheeks, and the sight of them made Evan’s heart hurt.
Lilly looks at Evan for a moment before looking at Marina. “M-marina?”
“I’m here, sweetheart,” she said softly. “You’re safe.” She pulled the little girl into her arms.
Lilly inhaled sharply from the hug, and then she buried her face in Marina’s shoulder as she wrapped her arms around the woman and clutched at the back of her dress as the words spilled out of her rapidly.
“It’s so bad, Marina! It’s always so bad!
I see her dead! Or she’s alive, and she looks mean!
But she wasn’t. She was my mother. Why is she mean in my dreams? What’s wrong with me?”
A lump rose in Evan’s throat at the sight of his daughter crying like this and hearing her talk about her nightmares.
Part of her must remember how cold her mother was.
But instead of realizing how cold-hearted her mother used to be, Lilly just felt guilty about dreaming of her mother that way.
He should have seen that. If he had Marina’s talent for understanding emotions, he would have.
At least she is here now, and she can help her.
“There’s nothing wrong with you, sweetheart,” Marina said, kissing the top of her head. “I promise. Your mother … well, she was a complicated person, like we all are. And these dreams are not your fault. Just because you have them doesn’t mean you loved her any less.”
Lilly sobbed into Marina’s shoulder. She held his daughter close and made soothing sounds, not seeming to care about the tears staining her nightgown.
Both of them seemed to have forgotten that Evan was in the room now, and he was fine with that.
He was too mesmerized by watching them. He remembered how good it felt when Marina had hugged him that one time, so he knew it must be working wonders for Lilly.
He also remembered the way Lilly would grab her arms at night, as if she were cold. Was she hugging herself? Could I have made things better if I had just given her a hug the way Marina is doing now?
He gritted his teeth. He couldn’t change the past, but he could do better in the future. He would make sure she would never want for affection again.
Quietly, he stood up to leave. If he could slip out unnoticed, then there would be no chance of him ruining the calm atmosphere that Marina had created.
But before he could get far, Lilly turned to look at him and held out her arm. “Father. Here.”
Marina turned to smile at him, and she gently patted a space on the bed next to the two of them, inviting him to join. He knew better than to refuse.
Evan crawled onto the bed and hugged both of them. Lilly sighed contentedly, and a nice warm feeling filled his chest. Together, they lay down on the bed, with Lilly between them.
“Please stay,” Lilly mumbled. “Until I fall asleep.”
“Of course, sweetheart,” Marina said, meeting Evan’s eyes. “Neither of us is going anywhere.”
“I like hearing your voices,” Lilly said.
“We’ll talk to you until you fall asleep,” Evan said. “We could talk about fishing for a while. Or about Prince William.”
Lilly shook her head before looking at Marina. “Why can’t I have a brother or sister?” she asked. “Father said it was your decision, so I should ask you.”
Marina looked a little startled, and Evan cringed. “That is not quite what I said,” he said slowly. “I never said you should ask her at least.”
He half-expected Marina to look angry or insulted about discussing such a topic without her. But instead, she looked amused. “It is a big decision, Lilly,” Marina said gently. “There is a lot of work that goes into having a child, even before the baby is born.”
“I can help,” Lilly said. “I don’t mind work.”
Marina chuckled. “I know, sweetheart. But there is a lot of work involved that only I can do, especially when I’m pregnant.”
Lilly pouted. “So I won’t ever have a little brother or sister?”
Marina looked at Evan for a moment, looking almost shy. “I wouldn’t say that there’s no possibility.”
Evan’s breath caught in his throat. He hadn’t let himself hope for such a thing, even after he and Marina had kissed. “There will have to be more discussions about this,” he said, clearing his throat.
Marina smiled. “Indeed. What was Lilly like when she was a baby?”
Evan was happy to talk about that. He told both Marina and Lilly about her first few days in the world, describing how Lilly would stare at everything with complete fascination, and how she would reach for Evan’s pocketwatch with her tiny hand every time she saw it.
Eventually, Lilly’s eyes closed, and her breathing evened out as she fell back to sleep.
Marina looked up at him and smiled warmly. He found himself smiling back. He wanted to speak to her, to tell him how much she meant to him, but he couldn’t because he didn’t want to risk waking up his daughter.
Marina reached out slowly and brushed her thumb against his cheek. Only then did he realize a tear or two had escaped his eyes, and she was wiping them away. He grabbed her hand and turned to kiss her palm, gently, hoping it would convey everything he was feeling to her.
“Thank you,” he whispered.
“What for?” she said. “For helping with Lilly? You don’t have to thank me for that.”
He shook his head. “No. Thank you for marrying me.”