Chapter 8
Chapter Eight
“What are you doing here?” Thalia asked the question without thinking, only realizing once the words left her mouth how rude she must have sounded.
“I think I am breaking my fast,” her husband said simply. He didn’t even blink at her tone.
“I…” Thalia hesitated by the doorway. “I can see that.”
“Then why did you ask?”
“Forgive me,” she said as she took a step into the room. It was done carefully, as if worried she might step on a booby trap. “My meaning is, that I did not expect to see you here.”
“In my own home?”
“No…” She clenched her jaw, because she sensed that he was being purposefully obtuse. “Waiting for me to break your fast with, is what I meant. Presumably, that is what you are doing?”
“I am.”
She looked at him pointedly. “Might I ask, why?”
The events of the previous evening still plagued Thalia greatly, and she had hardly slept the previous night because of them.
While on the surface, it might have appeared that what happened between her and Caspian was a good thing, because she had gotten her way, she knew only too well that the complete opposite was true.
A time would come soon when she and he would be expected to go to bed together. He would not change his mind, and she highly doubted that she could change it for him.
All last night was, was a reprieve from the inevitable. A stay of execution, as it were.
And while Thalia and Caspian had decided that getting to know one another better might just make the difference, she highly doubted that it would.
Oh, she wanted it to. She would have loved it if there was a remote chance that he would open up to her and show another side of himself that she did not know existed.
But as this was Caspian who she was dealing with…
I get the feeling that I have seen all sides to him, and there is little difference to be found from one side to the next.
That he was sitting in the breakfast room, waiting for her, might have brought some relief. It might have implied that he was willing to at least try, that perhaps he agreed with her and wanted them to grow closer.
Again… as this was Caspian, Thalia sensed a trap.
“I would have thought the answer to be obvious,” he said to her. He was seated at the head of the table, an empty space set in front of him, watching her with what almost amounted to boredom.
“Humor me,” she said, taking another step into the room.
“You know what I want from this marriage,” he began; no smile, no frown, a straight face as he spoke. “And you made quite clear last evening what is required of me – of the two of us, in fact, if I am to get it.”
“And you agree with me?” she asked. “You… you understand why I want such a thing?”
“Whether I agree with you or not is irrelevant. You wish for it, I am not the type to force myself on someone, so if I am required to humor you for a time until you feel more comfortable…” He shrugged. “So be it.”
It wasn’t nearly the answer that Thalia wanted. It was also the best she was going to get.
“I suppose I best be grateful then.” She finished crossing the room and walked down the table where a place was set for her to the right of Caspian. “And thank you again,” she was sure to say as she sat down. “For agreeing to this.”
“Do I have a choice?” he asked.
She made sure to be looking right at him. “No, you do not.”
The next few minutes were spent in silence as their breakfast was served. Thalia spent that time trying to figure out what it was that she wanted exactly.
I know what I want, just as I know that I am not going to get it. So, perhaps some sort of middle ground? A best of both worlds, if such a thing is possible.
She doubted very much that she and her husband were ever going to be truly happy. Thalia did not want such a thing in the first place. Not with Caspian, and not with a man who had a personality that was about as exciting as a damp rag.
At most, Thalia decided that she might come to understand her husband. What drove him? What inspired him? What had his life been like for it to arrive at this exact place? If she learned all of that, then maybe, quite possibly, she and he could accept one another and this marriage for what it was.
And all the while, she pictured her mother, how unhappy she had been, wondering if things might have been different had her father given her anything at all… the feigned hope that their marriage could grow beyond what it started as.
“I know what I want to ask you,” Thalia said once her full plate was placed before her. It was a breakfast of toast, eggs, and pork. There was juice and tea and water available to drink. And she thought that she could smell cake baking in the kitchen.
“I had hoped that you might.”
She chuckled lightly, as if Caspian was being purposefully flat with her. “I would like to know why you have not married until this point.”
For the first time, Caspian looked caught by surprise. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me,” she said.
His frown deepened, and he looked nervous for the first time. “Because… because I have not chosen to.”
“That is not an answer.”
“It is as good of an answer as I will give you.” He looked right at her; an eyebrow raised in dismissal. “Just because you ask me questions, does not mean I will answer them.”
She sighed. “So, I was right then. You are not serious about this.”
“I am,” he said. “Or as serious as I need to be. Remember, you are the one who wants this, not me. Ask your questions, I will answer them how I wish, and from that it will be on you to ascertain what you think of me.”
“It will be awfully hard to get to know you better if you do not answer my questions.”
He shrugged. “Perhaps that is something to take note of. How much I hate answering personal questions. Look at us, learning so much about one another already.”
Thalia narrowed her eyes. “Fine, if that is how you wish to behave…” She pushed her tongue into the side of her cheek as another question came to mind. “Tell me of your childhood – no, actually, tell me of your earliest memory.”
Again, a shadow passed behind his eyes, and his brows drew together a fraction. “I don’t think so.”
She sighed loudly. “I see what you are doing.”
“And what am I doing?”
“You are hoping that if you deny me for long enough, I will grow frustrated, and give in. As if I might change my mind because you are so… so…”
“So what?”
“Stubborn,” she said with venom. “Stubborn and selfish.”
“Is that how you see me?”
“You are not giving me much else to work with,” she responded sharply.
Caspian tilted his head slightly as he looked at her. She always felt uncomfortable when he looked at her as he was doing, as if he was seeing right through her.
She fidgeted, feeling suddenly exposed.
“And what of you?” he asked finally.
“Wh -- what do you mean?” she stammered.
“This goes both ways, does it not? If you are to ask me questions, why can I not ask them of you? After all, how will I get to know you better, if I do not know anything about you?”
“You…” She blinked in surprise. “You want to get to know me?”
“Should I not?”
“No!” she said a little too loudly. “I mean… I mean, yes. Yes, please, ask me anything.” A flicker of excitement rippled through her body, the sense that she was starting to make headway.
“Why have you not married yet?” he asked her.
“I did not want to,” she said. He raised an eyebrow at her, and she sighed.
“My parents were the reason. Their marriage was loveless… although that feels like a rather nice way of describing it. My mother was unhappy, and lonely, and I saw what being trapped in a marriage as hers was could do to a person. So, rather than being forced into the same situation, I chose not to be.”
She saw the Duke frown at the comment, and she wondered if he noticed the parallel which now existed in her life. And she wondered if he even cared…
“Your mother,” he said. “What happened to her?”
“I don’t think so,” she said. “I answered your question, now you answer one of mine…” She looked at him pointedly and he sighed, indicating with a nod for her to ask. “What of your mother?”
“What of her?”
“What was she like? Were you close?”
Caspian was ordinarily so good at hiding his emotions, and rarely did Thalia see anything that amounted to discomfort cross his face.
But at the mention of his mother, she saw the way he shifted, the way his eyes glanced down, and the pout to his lips as if revisiting a memory that he did not wish to.
“She was fine,” he said, still looking away.
“That is not –”
“Tell me of your father,” he spoke over her. “I am curious about the man.”
She scoffed. “I do not think so.”
“Excuse me?”
“You can’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“You know well what,” she snapped. “You hardly answer my question and then think I will answer anything you ask me. That is not how it works.”
“How it works? This is not a game, Thalia. And I will remind you that you are the one who wanted this.”
“For good reason,” she cried. “I have happily answered your questions. And I will keep answering them, because this is important, Caspian. Why can you not see that?”
“So far,” he said. “I have only asked you one question.”
“You can ask me anything and I will answer it.” She glared at him as if to prove her point.
He scoffed. “Easy to say until something comes up that you do not want to speak of.”
“That won’t happen.”
“And if it does?” he said. “Am I allowed you accuse you as you have me, when you refuse to answer me?”
“That won’t happen,” she said again.
“You seem awfully sure.”
Thalia bit into her lower lip as she continued to glare. She knew what he was doing, of course, trying to talk his way out of answering her questions. He hoped that she would back down, or that she might concede there were some things even she would not answer.
There are certainly that… and I pray he does not realize it. If this is to work, he needs to believe that I am serious about wanting this.
“I am sure,” she said as an idea came to mind. “And to prove it…” She found the valet standing in the corner. “Excuse me, if you might bring a glass of water for me? With two cracked eggs inside of it.”
The valet looked at her blankly. “I am sorry, Your Grace, I do not –”
“Fill a glass with water, crack two eggs into the glass, and bring it here.”
“Thalia, what are you doing?” Caspian asked her.
“You will see.”
They sat in silence. Caspian, watching her with unabashed curiosity. And Thalia, sitting with her back straight, her hands folded on the table, and confidence brimming from her persons.
Caspian needed to believe that she was being truthful. That she was willing to do what it took to get to know him better. It was time to show him just how much.
“Here you are, Your Grace,” the valet said a moment later as she placed the glass of water and two eggs in front of Thalia.
“Thank you.” Thalia said with a smile before looking flatly at the Duke. “Now, ask me anything.”
He was frowning. “I don’t… what is that for?”
“Ask me anything,” she said. “And I will answer you. If I do not, or you think that I am lying, I will drink the water.”
He scoffed. “That is absurd.”
“It is not absurd,” she said. “I want us to get to know one another, Caspian. I need us to. And if you do not understand why, or believe me…” She sighed and looked at him pleadingly, all feigned outrage and determination fading. “Hopefully, this proves to you that I am taking this seriously.”
His brow was furrowed as he looked at her. And for once, she could see exactly what was on his mind. He believed her, and he saw how serious she was being. What was more, he almost looked impressed by it.
“Fine, if you insist.” He straightened, his expression turned flat, and then he cocked a single eyebrow at her. “What has become of your friend, Miss Rosaline?”
Thalia’s eyes widened. “Wh – what?”
“You heard me,” he said with a satisfied smirk. “What has become of Miss Rosaline? I have heard whisperings of her and your brother vanishing but so far I am unable to find out the particulars.”
Thalia balked at the question, and then she cursed herself silently for walking right into a trap that she had set herself.
While it was not a huge secret that Rosaline and Laurent had run off together, that they were now married certainly was. And although word would soon get out, which would likely see a scandal follow, Thalia did not think it was her place to be the cause.
She began to sweat under the Duke’s probing stare. She began to fidget. His eyes flicked to the glass of water and eggs, the smirk still there. No doubt, he assumed that she would never dream of drinking it.
Nor had I meant to…
“I… that is not…”
“Not what?” he pounced. “A question you wish to answer?”
“It is a question that I cannot answer,” she said.
He nodded, appearing satisfied. “You see, it is not so easy when the shoe is on the other foot, is it? Perhaps next time, you will consider this before – what are you doing?”
Thalia did not hesitate. What she did was pick up the glass of water and eggs, bring it to her lips, and swallow every last drop in a single mouthful.
The texture of the drink made her wretch. And the way those eggs slid down her gullet and settled in her stomach made her squirm and grimace. But she did not complain. Nor did she give any indication that it might have been one of the most disgusting experiences in her life.
“There,” she said as she put down the empty glass. “As promised.”
Caspian was dumbstruck as he looked at her. No effort made to hide his surprise, no attempts to mask what he was feeling. His mouth hung open, his eyes were wide, and there was a slight curl of disgust on his lips.
“That was… you did not have to…”
“I said that I would,” she cut over him.
“Are you feeling well?” He almost sounded worried. “Sick, I mean? Do we need to…” He half made to stand, looking to the valet for help. “Should I send for someone? A doctor?”
Caspian’s reaction was by far the most surprising development of the morning. While it was not exaggerated, it spoke to a level of concern that he held for her. That his first thought was not to judge her, but to make sure that she was not sick from the eggs and water.
Despite herself, Thalia smiled. “I am quite well, thank you.”
The morning did not go nearly how she had planned, but that did not mean it was an abject failure. After all, the aim was to get to know the Duke better, and she had undoubtedly done that.
He was still dispassionate and cold, emotionally removed, and stubborn to a fault. But he was also more caring than she realized. It was subtle, but there was more there than Thalia had known, and that, she decided, was what mattered. That, she knew, was why this plan of hers might just work.