Chapter Forty
How Zennor found her way to Penzance Station, she’d never know. At every traffic light or queue, she had to wipe her eyes. Then she had to spend a few minutes at the station car park reapplying her mascara.
Her bravado had lasted about five minutes after she drove away from the hotel.
The exchange ought to have been cathartic and in one way it was, but who actually enjoyed conflict and confrontation?
She’d been shaking when she got in the car and probably shouldn’t have set off at all but she wanted to get as far away from Trev as possible.
The awful worry was Trev might still – horror – be right. It was going to be hard to forgive Sybil for lying and Matt for keeping her in the dark – and as for her father …
When her mum had said she was coming, Zennor had had no idea about her dad’s affair with Sybil or the web of deception surrounding it.
She gripped the wheel tightly. At least, she thought, Sybil had admitted her mother already knew about the affair.
With a deep breath, she got out of the car and spotted her mother carrying her overnight bag towards the waiting area. Tears welled up again but she forced them down.
Her mum abandoned her case to hug her. ‘Hello, darling! I’m so glad to see you. I’d forgotten what a long way it is.’
‘I always do too – and I live here.’ Zennor almost sobbed at her mum’s heartfelt embrace. ‘I’m so happy to see you.’
‘Me too. It’s been way too long.’
Zennor held on. ‘I have missed you so much.’
‘I’ve missed you even more …’
Zennor nodded. ‘I’ll take you to my flat if it’s OK. You can check into your hotel later. I want to talk somewhere private.’
When they’d reached the flat, Zennor asked, ‘Shall we take these drinks outside?’ All of her neighbours were out enjoying the sunshine or at work so they wouldn’t be overheard. Not even Eric would be there.
Zennor put down a packet of biscuits on the bistro table next to her mum’s coffee and briefly thought about how Eric would have perched on his favourite telegraph pole to eye his favourite snack.
Still, the sun was out and St Ives had never looked more picturesque with its stone houses tumbling down the hill towards the harbour.
Her mum took a biscuit and glanced over warily at the next-door balcony. ‘It’s gorgeous out here but I don’t like the look of matey boy over there.’
‘Who?’ She looked at the balcony rail and, for a moment, thought the impossible. ‘Oh, I – think that’s a young gull. It’s still got some of its baby plumage left.’
‘Still looks mean, though.’
Zennor smiled. ‘They always look mean – it’s their default setting. But if you take your eye off that biscuit for a second, he’ll swoop. You know, I think that might be one of Eric’s offspring.’
‘Eric?’ her mum asked, clutching her biscuit tighter.
‘The seagull who used to visit me. Unfortunately, he had an encounter with a bin lorry recently.’
‘Oh dear. And you think that’s one of his babies?’
‘Who knows? I’d like to think so. I like seeing them. They need to live, the same as all of us.’ The young gull stared at her, every bit as unblinking and ruthless as Eric, and she felt proud.
Her mother looked dubious. ‘Hmm. The gulls are one of the few things I don’t miss about Cornwall but you’re right, we all have to live, I suppose. It’s lovely to feel the sun on my face … It’s true what they say. The light isn’t the same anywhere else.’
After eating the biscuit, she pushed her empty plate away and took Zennor’s hand. ‘Would you like to tell me what’s made you so upset?’ she asked gently. ‘You’re not yourself. You’re holding something back and it’s hurting you.’
At the gentle touch of her mother’s hand in hers, Zennor almost burst into tears there and then, but she managed to keep her emotions in check a while longer. She had so much to say, and she knew there would be more than enough tears before she’d finished.
‘It has been a … difficult few months. We’ve been so busy with work but that’s good. I love being busy and the agency is doing well. It’s other stuff.’
‘Ah.’
‘Yeah. Matt’s back in St Ives – and Trev – and there’s been something weird going on with Sybil …’
Her mum grimaced. ‘Matt, Trev and Sybil? That sounds like a lot of trouble landing at once.’
‘Yeah. When you arranged to come down here, I had no idea what was going to happen next … and none of it is good. In fact, I don’t really know how I’m going to tell you this.’
‘Just start.’ Her mum folded her hands in her lap, strangely calm.
‘OK.’ She took a deep breath. ‘First of all, Matt bought our office building and has been doing it up. Then Trev took over the St Piran’s.’
Her mum gasped. ‘The hotel where you got married?’
‘Yeah.’
‘Both of those things seem too close to home to be coincidences – too close to you.’
‘Maybe. Where’s Trev’s concerned, I agree, and I had thought it was – weird that he decided to buy the St Piran’s. It seemed as if he was trying to relive the past somehow – like literally own it. I could be reading too much into that.’
She scoffed. ‘I doubt it. That sounds like Trev.’
‘You never really liked him, did you, Mum?’
‘I didn’t say that. And even if I did think it, I wouldn’t have let on. You were in love with him, and he was your fiancé. It wasn’t for me to voice my doubts and, frankly, I’m hardly the best person to offer advice on a lasting marriage.’
‘You and Dad were married a long time.’ Zennor came out in goosebumps because she knew that the moment was coming. ‘Was it always … a happy marriage?’
Her mum sighed. ‘For you to even ask that question, I assume you’ve worked out the answer. And if you mean did either of us have affairs, then yes, your father did.’
‘When did you … realise?’ Zennor asked.
‘I’d suspected there might be someone else for a while and one day …’ She hesitated before going on. ‘One day I saw a message I shouldn’t have and that confirmed it.’
‘Oh. Mum … I found out, too, just yesterday.’
‘That it was Sybil?’
‘Yes.’
There was a pause during which Zennor’s stomach wouldn’t stop churning. Her mum seemed worryingly calm as if she was in shock. ‘I see. And how did you discover that?’
‘She told me. Matt knew as well. A couple of weeks before the wedding, Sybil saw Trev at a hotel. He was kissing a woman called Tara – his PA – in the doorway of a room. Their room.’
‘Oh my God. Why didn’t she tell you this before the wedding?’
‘Because – and I am so sorry …’ Zennor felt sick. ‘She was there with Dad.’
‘Ah …’ Her mother exhaled and tears glistened in her eyes. ‘Although I knew something had been going on between your father and Sybil, I didn’t know the detail about the hotel – or Trev also being there.’
Zennor rubbed her mum’s hand. ‘I am so sorry, Mum.’
She shook her head. ‘You mustn’t be sorry. It’s been a long time … and what hurts most is that you and Matt have been dragged into the whole horrible business. I’ve got over what Sybil did to me – believe me – but how could she do that to you?’
‘She didn’t have much choice. Trev was blackmailing her and Matt.
He threatened to tell you and me about Dad and Sybil if Sybil let on that he’d been there with Tara.
Matt found Sybil in a bad state one day at Rosemergy and she confessed everything to him but he didn’t dare speak up for fear of hurting everyone. ’
‘Trev Jameson is a Grade A bastard!’ Her mum almost knocked her mug flying.
The gull flew off in alarm and Zennor stopped the mug from rolling off the table.
‘Sorry,’ her mum said.
‘Don’t be. Trev is all that and worse. He threatened Sybil and put Matt in a terrible position. Then Matt saw him kissing the waitress at the wedding and he couldn’t keep quiet any longer.’
Her mum grasped her arm. ‘You must never let that man near you again. Ever.’
‘Oh, don’t worry, I won’t. I went to see him before I picked you up from the station. I told him I wouldn’t be seeing him again. I think … he loved me but he’s the kind of person who has to own everything. He sees something or someone and he decides that he must battle for it and win at all costs.’
‘I’m sure he thinks he loves you in his own twisted, egocentric way.’ Her mum sniffed in disgust. ‘But what about Matt? He kept quiet about all this too. How do you feel about him? Or is that a question I can guess the answer to?’
Zennor leaned back in the chair and sighed heavily.
‘If you can guess, please tell me because I don’t know.
I thought I did. I was sure that I … still loved him, that I always have – right up until I heard he’d kept so much from me.
Now I don’t know if I can fully trust him.
I want to forgive him. I know he’s always tried to do the right thing … ’
‘Look, if you want to know what I think, I’ll say it.’
‘I do. I need to hear advice.’
‘I am shocked about the circumstances but even hearing about the hotel and what Sybil has done – I can’t hate her. Maybe I did for a time, but now? I – just don’t think it’s worth bearing a grudge forever.’
‘Really?’
‘My darling, I was devastated when your dad died. Of course I was. We didn’t have a perfect marriage but I still felt as if one half of me had been ripped away. I was angry that Sybil and your father marred those last few years.’
Zennor gulped back a sob. ‘Me too.’
‘But – and this is the most important thing to hold on to – I now have a very happy life with André. We’re so easy together, so at one in a way I could never have dreamed possible, so how can I keep hating Sybil and dwelling on the past? It will only spoil what I have now. Life is too short.’
‘I understand but I find it hard to accept that Dad wasn’t … I don’t know … a saint.’
‘No one is. Life’s too precious to waste it on regrets. Sybil is on her own and has lived with this for years. I don’t envy her.’
‘That’s very generous,’ Zennor muttered.
‘Only pragmatic. And you and she are very close. She stayed while I moved away – I feel guilty for that. We moved away and left you when we should have stayed to support you.’
‘I am an adult and I made my own way. I started the business. I made a new life.’
‘I know, and I’m so proud. Actually, I have some news I hope will help a little bit.
André and I have decided to retire. We want to spend more time with each other and family – you.
We were thinking of moving back to Cornwall.
Not to St Ives so we won’t be in your pocket but maybe around Truro.
It’s another reason I wanted to come back – to ask what you thought and see how I felt about Cornwall.
’ She waved a hand over the view. ‘And despite all that’s happened, it’s still the most beautiful place.
I think I could make new memories here, despite everything. ’
‘I would love it if you came home.’ Zennor surprised herself by how much she wanted her mum and stepdad near. Maybe it was her raw emotional state.
‘Home. Yes. Cornwall is home. It always will be and if you’re here, then it’s ten times better.’
‘B-but how would you feel about seeing Sybil?’
‘I won’t know until I do. I’m going to meet it all head-on and not let it fester.’
‘I wish I could do that …’
‘You can. I think you need to find the strength to forgive people now. If not Sybil, then Matt at least.’