Chapter 19 This Is What It Feels Like #2
It was too small. Too small for her to have company in.
Az wrapped himself around her back, chest bare, pressing flush against her, making the spots of her wings that poked free from the bottom and top of the shirt quiver in awareness.
"I’ll be right beside you, angel. You won’t be alone," Az vowed. He took her hands and cupped them between his, forcing her to turn and stare up at him. Her tangled hair caught in his fingers as he stroked a hand over the side of her head. "You don’t have to go into the bath if you don’t want to. It’s your choice."
That was the thing—she wanted to.
She was so tired of being weak and letting memories consume her.
She was better than that; she could be better than that.
"I want to," she asserted softly. "I just wish that I didn’t have to go alone."
He bent down to press a kiss to her forehead. "I’m here, and I’m not leaving."
Slowly, she tugged her hands away from him.
He had already seen her nude body—most of it, at least. This should be easy, but her heart was in her throat, and she could barely look him in the eye as she began to tug the shirt up her body.
A soft chill washed over her exposed thighs, her stomach, and then the rest of her as she pulled it over her head, careful of her wings.
It slipped from her hands, dropping on the floor by her feet.
She stood in only her thin panties. She couldn’t stop herself from wrapping an arm around her breasts, feeling the edges of the bandages tickling her forearm.
His amber eyes were heated yet soft as he stared down at her, gaze not straying. "You don’t have to hide from me anymore, Lu. You’re gorgeous."
She didn’t feel it, but when he told her, a small part of her began to.
Her wings folded close to her back, keeping her backside shrouded in the privacy of white, fluffy feathers as she turned, fingers hooking in the edge of her panties. Staring at the water, her back to Az, she whispered, "Close your eyes?"
"They’re closed," he grumbled, and she trusted him.
Luella pulled her panties down her legs, kicking them to the side.
She carefully lifted a foot and entered the bath, wobbling as her wings threatened to make her tip backward.
The water was warm, tickling her feet and calves.
She inhaled deeply, hands braced on the sides of the wooden tub as she all but fell into it, water splashing over the sides as the warmth prickled against her skin, and dully against her wings.
She pulled her knees up to her chest, arms wrapping around them to cover her breasts and the space between her legs.
"You can l-look," she stammered, hating the quake in her voice as the water licked against her flesh. It was fine; she was fine. It was a small bath, and she could barely submerge her full body into it. She couldn’t drown.
But—
The thought of the water and drowning made her think of where they were.
The ocean.
Endless.
"Distract me," she said, focusing on her breath. She felt heat at her side and found Az kneeling by the tub, one arm stretched behind her, the other resting over the edge, fingers dipping on the surface.
"How do you want me to distract you?" His voice was a low, thick grumble.
Heat curled inside her lower belly. "You know."
The hand drifting atop the water moved to the side of her arm, dancing over her flesh, until he cupped her cheek and pressed a soft kiss to her lips, water trickling from his fingers, wetting the side of her face.
He pulled away, only slightly, and said, "What do you want first?
" His damp fingers smoothed over her hair.
"Me to wash your hair?" Those fingers dipped down her collarbone until they skimmed the edge of her breast. "Or your body? "
Her breath hitched. "You decide."
Az’s fingers tapped lightly against her breast, barely grazing her nipple. "I’ll start here."
"G-good choice," she managed breathily as his fingers finally drifted below the water, circling her peaked nipple.
They had no soap, so they would have to make do with the water alone. But under his soft, excruciating touches, she felt wholly cleaned.
He cupped water and trickled it over her chest, letting droplets fall down her breasts, then moved his hands in slow circles down her navel after giving each of her breasts ample attention.
His hands massaged her stomach under the water, drifting past her soaked bandages—she would have to let Tharen change them—grazing her upper thighs, dipping past the space that ached fiercely between them.
He stroked over her legs, and even her toes, until his fingers moved back up, thumbs pressing into her inner thighs, as finally his touches drifted between them.
But when his fingers stroked over her slick core, she was undone, close to breaking already.
The first touch made her head tip back, wings shivering in the water, and she forgot all about why she had been scared in the first place.
She felt herself tense as air roared outside the ship, piercing their small bubble.
"Relax, angel. Spread your legs for me. Let me touch you better."
Those erotic words made her melt. Her legs fell open, unfurling from where they had been tucked close to her body. His arm moved under the water, and she watched the muscles in his bare chest flex as he touched her, her mouth dry.
The water made everything wetter as his large fingers stroked at the apex of her thighs, making her cheeks flush and soft sighs ripple from her lips, like the water around her.
Then, she felt her body lock up in fear because they were at sea on a ship in the ocean, and they could die, she could drown, they all could drown, and—
His finger pressed firmly against her, as if in reprimand.
"Don’t think about it, angel." His head moved closer to her, the image of his horns rippling across the bathwater as his lips tickled her cheek. "You’re here with me, and I’ll always keep you safe.
" A kiss against the pointed tip of her ear, his fingers stroking over her core. "I love you."
Her release shattered through her, making her body lean toward him. Her side cut into the wooden lip of the tub, as her face pressed into his chest, small puffs of air gasping against his bare chest.
"Okay?" His voice grumbled through her.
"Yes," she replied, so spent that she didn’t care anymore when the water tickled her skin and the ship rocked softly.
Az’s hand slipped out of the water, droplets trickling down his forearm in rivulets as he, again, brought his hand up to his lips, tasting the fingers that had been between her thighs. He groaned deeply.
She wanted to ask if she truly tasted that good, but embarrassment held her tongue.
They were both quiet as he washed her hair as best as he was able. When the fingers that massaged her scalp made her wings twitch and a slick dampness gather between her thighs, he grumbled, "They’re waiting on us. We’ve taken too long already."
She nodded, near drunk on him, on this.
The tangles were free from her hair, as it hung damp around her shoulders. He helped her stand, wrapping a towel around her. The scratchy material rested strangely because of her wings. He unfolded a bundled set of clothes she hadn’t seen.
A pair of billowing, tan trousers, and a white, flowing blouse, the back ripped to accommodate her wings, uneven cuts as if done with a dagger, leaving a mere small strip at the upper part.
Luella eyed the clothes. "Oh, that’s…" Revealing, she finished inwardly, and too large.
"It’s all they have," Az supplied. "Do you want me to help you dress?"
She nodded, abashed. The same hands that carefully laid out the clothes had been between her thighs, yet the idea of him dressing her made her blush.
"You’ll need to… drop the towel." A faint dusting of dark pink bloomed on the high points of Az’s cheeks as he fiddled with the clothes.
Her hands let the towel go with a soft sound as it fell to her feet. The air shivered over her naked flesh. She didn’t tell him to close his eyes.
Az met her gaze, amber eyes heated as he stepped closer to her, holding out the billowing trousers for her to step into. His eyes didn’t leave hers, but she found she wanted them to. She lifted a foot to step into the trousers, but she wavered, off-balance.
"This isn’t going to work," Az muttered.
He fell to his knees before her naked body.
The tips of his horns brushed her chest as he stared up at her.
Each breath was hot against her bare navel, and her toes curled against the wood.
She had just been sated by him, yet she wanted more.
His hands hovered over her bare hips. "Can I touch you? Just to keep you steady, angel."
She struggled to find her voice. "Yes."
His large, hot hands fell to her hips, fingers spanning over the entirety of her flesh.
He was so large, everywhere—he could easily fit her waist between his hands.
Against the soft curve of her hips, his thumb pressed into the swell above her backside, digging in as a groan fell from his lips.
She wanted to kiss him again. The space between her thighs throbbed.
It was like, now her appetite had been whetted, and she would never get enough.
She never felt so powerful as when he touched her.
When he was on his knees before her, subdued in her presence.
"They’re waiting on us," he repeated, but his voice held no strength. It was a weak plea against what was inevitable:
Their collision.
With his hands, he gently tugged her forward, her feet stumbling as his chin bumped into her stomach. His breath skittered over the place she was most desperate for him.
Her hands fluttered before her as he held her eyes, lips pursing as he pressed a delicate kiss against the spot under her navel.
Her stomach jumped under his touch, electrified.
She felt his deep, throaty groan throughout her entire body.
She raised her hands, fingers hesitantly curling around the base of his horns.
He shuddered from her soft touches, and she skimmed the tip of her finger over the side, reveling in the softness of him.
His dark curls were like silk under her hands as she tunneled her fingers through his hair, skimming over his horns as she did so.
"Angel," Az groaned, "we cannot. Believe me when I say that I never want to leave this room. Each time you look at me with your gorgeous blue eyes, I have to talk myself out of locking the door and barring them from you forever."
She knew he was right. She felt the weight of the others through the threads. They were all tense, taut, and one breath away from unraveling.
That didn’t stop her from whispering, "Just one more kiss?"
His lips brushed over her lower stomach.
"For you, all the realms. A kiss is nothing compared to what I would give you.
" His mouth moved downward, and she froze when his chin brushed the tender place where her stomach met her hips.
She was moments away from shoving him off and stumbling back, scared.
He felt her fearful trepidation, and so, his lips completely skipped her core as he bent to press an achingly precious kiss to the inside of her thigh.
He pulled away from her, but still knelt, hands tangled in the trousers.
She had nearly forgotten what they had been doing in the first place.
"Let’s get you dressed, angel, before I forget why I shouldn’t give in."
Az held her calf, and her hands fell to his shoulders to steady herself as he helped her into the trousers, tugging them up her waist. When she was steady, he stood.
The flowing fabric fell to her ankles, swishing as she stepped away from him.
Suddenly, she was aware of her bare breasts, a hand coming up to hide herself away.
Az fumbled with the shirt, trying to find the right way to put it on her with the cut in the back, making it all tangled up.
He held it up, letting it drift over her head and settle on her body.
Her nipples brushed against the soft material, hardening with awareness as cool air rushed through the open back, making her shiver.
Her wings were utterly exposed, as well as the entirety of her back, save for the one strip of fabric left around her neck, like a strap to keep the blouse in place.
"No undergarments?" she hedged, feeling exposed in the whisper-soft, breezy fabric. The white blouse left little to the imagination. It slipped off her shoulder, too large for her slight frame.
Az shook his head, eyes heated. He held out a hand, palm-up. "Ready?"
She placed her small, pale hand in his, taking a steadying breath that felt too shallow for how empty her lungs were. "No," she said softly. "I never am, it seems, but they’re waiting."
"I won’t let you go." Az’s hand enveloped hers fully.
Luella felt a wavering smile tug at her lips. "I know you won’t."