Chapter 28
Tristan
Iwas in so much fucking trouble.
Every promise I’d made to myself about not being with a guy who wasn’t prepared to be all in with me hadn’t just been broken. They’d been shattered into thousands of tiny pieces.
The worst part? I didn’t have any regrets.
My hands ached with the need to touch Ben as he slept.
Last night had been a million times better than anything I could have imagined, and it wasn’t simply because we’d had sex.
Something deeper developed between us, a connection I’d never had with anyone before, and I couldn’t help the pang of hope that had sparked within me, taking root, and telling me that maybe, just maybe, this wouldn’t end up with me getting my heart broken.
Ben shifted next to me in the bed, his eyes cracking open. “You were right. It is creepy when someone watches you sleep.”
I chuckled, finally allowing myself to stroke my thumb over his cheek. “Guilty as charged. At least I have the balls to admit I was watching you sleep.” His snort turned into a grimace when he stretched, and worry coursed through me. “How do you feel?”
His head lolled to the side so he could look at me. “I won’t lie. I ache a bit.”
Unable to resist the magnetic pull to his lips, I placed a chaste kiss on them. “It’ll ease.”
Ben stretched again before suddenly bolting upright as if he’d only just realized that daylight was streaming into his bedroom. “What time is it?” Not giving me a chance to answer, he twisted, grabbing his phone off the table. “Fuck! It’s 11 am! I’m late for work! Why didn’t my alarm go off?”
He leaped out of bed as if someone had fired a rocket up his ass before frantically gathering up his clothes. I chuckled, pulling myself into a sitting position. “Dude, chill. I turned your alarm off.”
He spun to face me, his features twisting into outrage. “What the hell, Tristan! Why did you do that?”
I raised my hands, trying to placate him. “Don’t be mad. But I told my dad you wouldn’t be in today.” He opened his mouth to no doubt berate me, but I cut him off. “Don’t worry, I told him you’d told me to pass the message on. And I did it because I want to take you somewhere.”
He gaped at me, seemingly unable to comprehend what I’d said. Blinking several times, suspicion laced his tone when he spoke. “Where?”
Standing from the bed, I crossed to him, taking his hands in mine. “It’s a surprise. But I promise it’ll be fun.” He scowled, but this wasn’t a battle I was going to lose. Giving him my best puppy dog eyes, I pouted. “Please, baby. Please say yes to spending the day with me.”
His shoulders slumped, and I knew I’d won the war before his agreement tumbled from his mouth.
My plan had been to take Ben for breakfast, but it was after lunch before we left his place, having gotten carried away in the shower together. I stopped Ben’s car in the parking lot, grinning at the look of disgust etched into his face.
When we left home, I’d pulled out my van keys, only for Ben to surprise the shit out of me by handing me the keys to his Mercedes and telling me I could drive his car for the day.
It was a beautiful car to drive, although the way Ben clung to his seat, scowling at me while telling me to slow down, I didn’t think he agreed.
“Donna’s Diner?” he questioned, his lips turning down.
“Don’t knock it ‘til you’ve tried it, baby. Her burgers are world-class. Fact.”
He scoffed. “Greasy food isn’t exactly my type of food, Bug.”
“I know,” I replied, smirking. “But you’re too rigid with your eating habits. Having a treat once in a while won’t kill you.” He didn’t look convinced, staring at the old building in disdain. I nudged his shoulder. “Come on, loosen up. I told you, this is going to be a fun day.”
Not giving him a chance to reply, I jumped out of the car and started striding toward the entrance. He caught up to me in a couple of seconds, hissing in my ear, “If I catch food poisoning, I’m going to beat your ass.”
I winked at him. “I love it when you talk dirty to me.”
He rolled his eyes as I opened the door and led him inside.
We found a booth at the end of the restaurant, away from the other customers.
Ben slid in, sitting opposite me, and after we’d perused the menu, the waitress took our order, Ben ordering the same as me: a bacon double cheeseburger, a side of dirty fries, and a chocolate milkshake.
“So, is this where you wanted to bring me?” Ben asked when the waitress disappeared.
“It’s part one. I wanted to bring you here for breakfast, actually. The pancakes here are exceptional.” I shrugged. “We’ll have to come back another time.”
His lips pursed. “Let me get through this time first.” I sniggered, amused at his reluctance to try anything new. Before I could mock him for it, he asked, “What’s part two?”
“It’s a surprise.”
His eyes narrowed on me. “Why?”
“Why, what?”
“Why this? What’s this all in aid of?”
I shrugged, my cheeks heating, and giving away my attempt at playing it cool. “You said you couldn’t remember the last time you had fun. I wanted to change that.”
He pulled in a breath as he stared at me across the table before a smile spread across his lips, drawing my attention to them. If we weren’t in public, I would have leaned over the table just to have a taste of his delicious mouth.
The thought was like a kick in the gut. A painful reminder that I was having to hide who I was for the sake of someone else, and the question I’d been trying to ignore for days now reared its head.
How much longer are you willing to be his dirty little secret?
“I don’t know whether to be excited or nervous, Bug,” Ben said, oblivious to the momentary dip in my mood. “For all I know, you could be taking me to a sex dungeon where there’s a whole bunch of guys waiting to take their turn on my ass.”
I snorted, lowering my voice so no one could hear, even though we weren’t near any other customer. “You don’t need to worry about that, baby. Your ass belongs to me, and no one else.”
His teeth sank into his bottom lip as he attempted to subtly look around him.
Satisfied he couldn’t be heard, he leaned over the table, his voice almost a whisper.
“I…uh…didn’t ask you last night.” He swallowed, his gaze dropping to the table before coming back to meet mine.
“Did you enjoy last night? I know it was the first time you…”
A flush covered his cheeks. Christ, he was adorable. Leaning forward as he had, our faces were only inches apart. “I fucking loved it.”
His breath hitched. “So, you would do it again?”
“Yeah. Would you?”
He shifted awkwardly in his seat as I waited with bated breath for his answer.
“Yeah. I mean, not yet. My ass needs a rest,” he chuckled, and I couldn’t stop myself from grinning.
“And I think I prefer fucking you, but I wouldn’t be against doing that again.
” My cock twitched at the thought. He shifted to look around him again before asking, “Was it like that for you for your first time? You said it was a one-night stand, but did the guy at least make it good for you?”
“No,” I replied flatly. “He was a year older than me, and he wasn’t from Henderson.
He’d come to town to stay with family for a couple of weeks, and we met at a party.
We were both drinking, and we just started talking.
There was a bit of a spark between us, and before I really knew what was happening, we were locked in a bedroom, taking our clothes off. ”
I paused, the memories of that night playing in my head like a movie. I didn’t have any grand ideas of losing my virginity to someone I loved, but I didn’t think I would lose it at a party where I’d been drinking underage, while my friends were downstairs dancing with girls.
“There was no conversation between us about roles,” I continued.
“One minute I was on my knees blowing him, the next minute, I was on the bed on all fours with him behind me. We didn’t have any lube, and he wasn’t gentle when he first entered me.
I think if it wasn’t for the alcohol, I probably would have cried.
” I grimaced at realizing Ben’s face had contorted into a snarl.
“Sorry. That was too much detail, I shouldn’t have said all that. ”
“No, I want to know. It makes me even more grateful for how you were with me.” A shy smile replaced the scowl. “What happened after?”
“It was over in a few minutes, and when he disappeared into the bathroom to dispose of the condom, I ended up finishing myself off. And that was it. I got dressed and left the room before he even came out of the bathroom, and I never saw him again after that.”
“Didn’t that put you off trying with someone else?”
I shrugged. “No. One bad experience doesn’t mean that every experience that follows will be bad. In fact, my most recent experiences have been pretty damn good.”
A triumphant grin lit up his face as he puffed up his chest, but just as he was about to reply, the waitress appeared with our food, cutting off any further conversation.
“You want me to go ice skating?” Ben said, skepticism written on his face.
He glared at the ice rink like it was a field full of barbed wire as opposed to a place where kids and adults were whizzing around, laughing at each other’s attempts to stay upright.
“Yes. Come on, it’ll be fun.” Without thinking, I laced my fingers through his, tugging his hand as I led him to the kiosk to get our skates.
To my surprise, he didn’t release my hand, and the hope that was already blooming in my chest grew a little more.
Henderson’s Winter Wonderland was one of my favorite places this time of year. The enormous park in the middle of town was transformed into our own little slice of the North Pole with an ice rink, Santa’s Grotto, an ice sculpture exhibit, and best of all, a fairground.