Chapter 29 #2
The longing in the simple statement was unmistakable. My brows rose, and I couldn’t stop the question slipping from my mouth. “You like her?”
Holly’s cheeks turned an even deeper shade of crimson. “No.”
My heart cracked down the middle when her eyes flickered back to the girl before lowering. She was fighting an internal battle, one I had struggled with for years. I gently nudged her shoulder. “Hey, it’s okay if you do like her.”
She looked at me, her eyes—the same color as Tristan’s—were filling with tears. “Do you like my brother?”
Her reply caught me off guard, and I shrugged. “Yeah, of course.”
“No,” she said, shifting in her seat and giving me an earnest look. “I mean, do you like him in the same way I like Carly. Not as a friend.”
I swallowed. Tristan had once told me that Holly was incredibly perceptive, and he wasn’t wrong. “Yeah,” I said softly. “I like him. I like him a lot.”
“He likes you too,” she replied, her gaze tracking Carly as she walked away from the machine, flanked by her friends.
“Oh yeah? How do you know that?”
She smirked, her grin so much like Tristan’s.
“He’s been happy lately. Well, happier than usual.
He’s always looking after me and Ivy, and I know he loves spending time with us, but recently, he’s been smiling more when he gets messages on his phone, and he’s been leaving extra early to go to your house. ”
Warmth flooded my chest, making me all the more determined to make things right with Tristan.
“He makes me happy too,” I admitted. Christ. I could admit my feelings to his kid sister but not to him. I chuckled. “You’re a good listener, Holly.”
She beamed. “Thanks.”
“Can I give you some advice?” I asked, wanting to tell her everything I wished someone had once said to me.
“Sure.”
“Don’t be afraid of who you are or who you’re attracted to.
It doesn’t matter if you like boys or girls; what matters is that you’re true to who you are.
Take it from someone who has spent most of his life trying to hide who he really is.
” I paused as sympathy twisted on Holly’s face.
I nudged her shoulder again. “And if people don’t like you for who you are, then fuck them.
They aren’t people you want in your life. ”
She giggled, an infectious sound that made me laugh with her. “You said the F word. If Dad was here, you’d have to put a dollar in the swear jar.”
I faked a grimace. “Ooops. Can it be our little secret?”
“I’ll keep your secret if you keep mine,” she replied, holding out her hand for me to shake.
I took it, her small hand encased in my big one. “Deal. But you know, you can talk to your brother. Tristan’s a good listener, and he’s helped me a lot.”
She sighed. “I will. Just not yet.”
I bobbed my head, and the two of us fell into a comfortable silence. When the group of girls appeared again, and Carly looked over to where we were sitting, smiling at Holly, she stiffened, her fingernails digging into her jeans.
“Why don’t you go and say hi to her?” I said, hoping to give her some encouragement. “What’s the worst that can happen?”
She bit her bottom lip. “She might tell me to go away.”
“She might,” I replied. “And if she does, then she doesn’t deserve your time. But she might say hi back.”
Holly didn’t reply for several seconds, her wide eyes staring at Carly, who had started playing on the same machine as before. When Holly turned back to me, she swallowed. “Okay.”
She stood, sucking in a determined breath, and a streak of pride rolled through me. “Good luck, Jolly Holly.”
She rolled her eyes but smirked as she walked away.
Brave kid.
Now all I needed was to harness some of her bravery so I could tell Tristan how I really felt.
The second I saw Tristan walking back, I was on my feet, desperate to get to him, only to freeze when someone else got to him first. His eyes darted to me as the guy he’d been on a date with a couple of weeks ago put his hand on Tristan’s shoulder.
Jealousy streaked through me, so powerful, my knees buckled, and I fell back into my seat.
Helpless to watch them, Tristan pulled out of the guy’s grasp, his eyes darting to me as they spoke.
Every part of me wanted to storm to them, grab Tristan, and kiss him.
Claim him and show the world that he was mine.
But I couldn’t move a single muscle, fear holding me prisoner.
After what seemed like an eternity of them speaking, the guy pulled Tristan into a hug, not giving a damn that they were surrounded by people. My jaw clenched, and I ripped my gaze away, unable to look at them any longer as little voices began whispering in my head.
He’s not scared to touch Tristan in public.
They went on a date together.
Tristan should be with someone who isn’t afraid to be who they are.
“Hey, sorry I took so long. Ivy wanted to play another game,” Tristan said, sitting next to me.
“It’s fine,” I replied when I was anything but fine. “Was that…uh…the guy you went on a date with?”
He couldn’t meet my eyes. “Yeah.”
“Oh.”
My heart slammed against my rib cage as jealousy continued to rush through my veins. “What did he want?” The question fell unbidden from my lips, and I internally cursed. I didn’t want to know the answer.
“Nothing. We were just talking.”
I chuckled, but there was no humor to it. “You’re not a good liar, Bug.”
He sighed. “He asked me out on another date.”
“Did you say yes?” I asked, pushing the words past the lump forming in my throat.
A deep frown creased between his brows. “Of course I didn’t.”
I shrugged. “You could have.”
I didn’t know why I said that, and as soon as the words were out, I regretted them.
Of course I didn’t want him going on a date with another guy, but with the little voices in the back of my head spewing their vitriol about how I wasn’t good enough for Tristan, I couldn’t bring myself to take them back.
Tristan’s features twisted into a scowl. “Maybe I will then,” he said coldly, piercing my heart.
Abruptly, I stood. “Good. Well, I hope you enjoy yourself.” He opened his mouth to reply, but I continued before he could. “I’ve just remembered I’ve got some stuff to do this afternoon, so I best get going.”
“Right,” he replied, his tone laced with sorrow. “Guess I’ll see you tomorrow then.”
“Yeah. Say bye to the twins for me.”
He nodded, his gaze dropping to his lap, and like the coward I was, I bolted.
By nightfall, I was climbing the walls. I needed to talk to Tristan. From the minute I arrived home, the afternoon had played on a constant repeat in my head. I was such a fucking idiot. Instead of telling him how I felt, I’d pushed him away.
I waited as long as I could, not wanting to ruin the rest of his day with the twins, but when I couldn’t hold on any longer, I dialed his number, my heart lodged in my throat.
His phone went to voicemail.
Hanging up, I redialed only to get the same voicemail message. My brain went into overdrive, the ghosts of my past taunting me, telling me Tristan’s phone was off because he was on a date with the guy from earlier.
Cursing, I tapped out a message.
Me:
Can you come over? We need to talk.
I hit send and waited, but only one tick showed, telling me the message had been sent, but his phone hadn’t received it.
And that’s how it stayed for the rest of the night.