Chapter 4
FOUR
LOCHLAN
An intense pressure squeezes around us like we’re being forced through a pinhole. It only lasts a few seconds though before it loosens and our feet touch solid ground. I gasp instinctively, dragging in a full breath even though I don’t strictly need oxygen anymore.
Hey, if I don’t need oxygen, does that mean I can scuba dive without a tank? Or go into outer space? I put a pin in those thoughts and look around.
“This… isn’t what I expected the underworld to look like.
” We’re standing in a hallway that feels like a strange blend of modern and medieval, with stone walls and sconces for light and rugs on the floors that are straight out of an Ikea catalog.
“Where’s all the fire and brimstone? Where are the three-headed dogs? The pitchforks? Lake of fire?”
Roman chuckles and I try not to notice how the sound raises the hairs on the back of my neck in a very pleasant way.
“Grim’s around here somewhere, and the fire and brimstone are mostly outside,” he says.
“Who’s Grim?” I ask, but Roman just laughs again.
“Come on. Cassius’s room is this way.” He starts down the hallway and I hurry after him.
“Thanks again, I really mean it.” I try hard not to let my eyes wander over the broad expanse of his shoulders or his round, firm ass, which flexes with every step he takes, leading me through a winding maze of hallways.
“I’m not doing it for you,” he grunts. “Jare might not want you anymore, but he’ll be heartbroken if you let yourself die because you’re too stupid to be a proper vampire.”
My gut clenches and a familiar feeling pulses in my chest. It’s the same feeling I had the night I decided to go to a supernatural bar, grab the first vampire I saw, and beg him to turn me.
“You love him.” My fangs lengthen instinctively, making my words sound slightly obscured, but I know Roman heard me just fine.
He doesn’t break his stride, doesn’t even turn around to look at me.
“I’ve always loved Jareth,” he says.
“He’s mine,” I growl.
Roman barks out a laugh and finally slows down before turning around to face me with an infuriatingly smug expression written all over his gorgeous, lickable, perfect face. Fuck, why do I want to rip his throat out and ride his cock at the same time? What the fuck is wrong with me?
“Hate to break it to you, man, but he’s not yours anymore either.”
I lunge at him, but he’s surprisingly fast. He catches me by the throat with one hand, that damn smirk still on his face, and he holds me at arm’s length.
He reaches out with his other hand and knocks on a door I hadn’t even noticed we were standing in front of.
There’s less than a second between Roman’s knock and the door swinging open to allow a lithe, pale man to step out.
I sniff, and the overly sweet stench of another vampire obscures the warm, spicy, mouthwatering smell that’s pouring off of Roman for just a second before the wolf is all I can smell again.
But it’s enough to let me know that this must be Cassius.
He’s perfect. He looks like he stepped right off the pages of a vampire novel with his elegant, Gothic attire and a look of bored amusement on his flawless face.
He cocks his head, taking in the scene happening outside of his bedroom door: Roman’s hand wrapped around my throat, my fangs out, both of us reeking of a mixture of arousal and contempt.
“What do we have here, Wolfie? A present for little old me?”
“Cas, this is Lochlan. He’s a dumbass who got himself turned into a vampire and doesn’t know the first thing about how to survive. Do me a favor and help him out?”
“Hm.” Cas steps closer, examining me like I’m a piece of art he’s considering buying. “Why?”
“He’s important to Jareth,” Roman grunts, finally letting go of my throat.
Cas’s lips curl into a wicked smile that’s all teeth. “The mysterious Jareth, huh? Well… I suppose I have time. Come along, kitten.” He disappears back into his room, leaving the door open.
“Am I kitten?” I ask in a low voice that I’m sure Cas can hear considering he’s a vampire too.
“Looks like it.” Roman shoves me roughly towards the open door. “Have fun.”
“Wait.. you’re not stayin—” He swings it closed in my face before I can even get the whole question out.
ROMAN
Well, that’s one problem down. My wolf huffs and whines, tugging like a dog on a leash back in Lochlan’s direction as I stride down the hall as fast as I can to get away from his damn dizzying scent. I growl and palm my hard cock through my pants, willing it to settle the fuck down.
“Uh-oh, Roman’s in one of his moods,” Mac, our resident dragon and one of my fellow mercenaries says, sniffing the air as he comes around the corner with his demon mate, Drax, only a few steps behind him.
“Maybe you need a pillow to take it out on. I used to have a dog who did that until we got him neutered.”
Normally, I don’t mind a little good-natured ribbing, but I’m in no mood for it tonight.
I growl at them as I pass and don’t bother paying attention to whatever it is they murmur to each other after that.
I don’t want to take it out on a pillow.
I want to bury my knot so deep in Lochlan’s ass that he’ll feel it for days.
No.
Fuck.
No, I don’t want that. I want Lochlan to get whatever he needs from Cassius and then I want him to disappear from my life forever. My wolf whines and I growl again.
I need to talk to Jareth. I shake my head roughly to clear the fog of lust and the scent still lingering in my nose, and that single thought becomes crystal clear.
I need to talk to Jareth.
It’s no secret that I didn’t like seeing him with Loch, but that doesn’t matter right now. His boyfriend got turned into a vampire and he didn’t think he could tell me about it. He must be a mess right now.
I don’t even stop walking as I call up the void around me, stepping into it and directly out the other side into Jareth’s garden.
The full moon was yesterday, which means the waning moon is still big and bright tonight, casting a glow over the familiar cottage and the cobbled walkway that winds through the garden to the front door.
There’s a light on inside, peeking through the gaps in the curtains, letting me know that whatever time it is, he’s still awake.
Instead of going right up and knocking, which is bound to startle him in the middle of the night, I tilt my head back and let out a howl.
I hear his chuckle inside and the shuffle of his footsteps before the door swings open.
My heart clenches and a sense of home fills me from my fingertips to my toes.
My wolf chuffs happily inside me and I don’t bother trying to hold back the happy whine that the beast forces out through my currently human-shaped throat.
Lochlan laughs again and opens his arms to greet me the same way we’ve done since we were teenagers.
I step into his open arms and wrap mine around him tightly, pressing my face into the crook of his neck and rubbing my scent against his skin to mark him in the only way I’m allowed to.
“Long time no see,” he says happily, running his fingers through my hair as I switch to the other side of his neck and rub my face there too until I’m satisfied that my scent is all over him.
“I’ve been busy.” It’s a terrible excuse and we both know it, but we’re past arguing about it. I haven’t been around because I can’t stand to see him with anyone else and he refuses to understand why we can’t be together.
“What brings you by tonight, then? The full moon was last night, so I know you’re not here for a booty call.”
I snort a laugh and he shoots me a cheeky smile.
Like I would ever show up at his house on a full moon like that.
Sure, I’ve thought about it a million times, I’ve pictured him while my knot was buried in a random stranger, I’ve even let myself get as far as the woods outside his cabin just so I could feel close to him during the full moon, but I told him a long time ago that if we couldn’t be together in a real way, I didn’t want to torture either of us with casual sex that would never turn into more.
He called me an idiot. He probably wasn’t wrong.
“I… uh… had an interesting night,” I say vaguely. “Mind if I come in?”
“Yeah, of course.” He leads me inside and goes straight for the kitchen, picking his kettle up off the stovetop and carrying it over to the sink to fill with water while I pull out one of the chairs and take a seat at the table.
I’m not sure what the most tactful way to do this is, so I decide to just rip the Band-Aid off and go from there.
“I ran into Lochlan.”
Jareth drops the kettle. It clatters loudly into the sink, then he huffs out a laugh.
“Ah, I get it now. You’re here to make sure I’m not traumatized?”
He picks the kettle back up and finishes filling it, and I wait until he turns around to face me again before I answer.
“Mostly,” I say honestly. “Is that a bad thing?”
“I’d rather you were here because you miss me.”
“I always miss you,” I growl, forcing myself to stay seated at the table and not get up and pull him into my arms again like I want to. I wish I wasn’t still thinking about the way Lochlan smells. “What he did is fucked up. Did you tell him…”
“No,” Jareth says sharply. “Don’t you go telling him either. It’s none of his business at this point anyway. If I’d known he was serious about doing that, I would have told him why I was so against it, but it’s too late now.”
I nod in understanding.
“I took him to Cas so he can learn how to be a proper vampire.”
His shoulders sag with relief, letting me know that I was right. It might be over between them, but that doesn’t mean he wants anything bad to happen to Loch.
“Good. Then he won’t die in my garden like an idiot.”
I snort a laugh and he leans against the counter, waiting for the water to boil, both of us staring at each other for a long, silent minute.
“Is it really over between you two? You don’t think you could get over the vampire thing?
” I’m not even sure I want an answer, but my curiosity is too strong.
I need to know. Not that it matters. If it’s not Loch, it’ll be someone else eventually.
And I want it to be. Jareth deserves to be loved.
He deserves to be worshipped and taken care of and protected.
He deserves every damn thing, and I hate whoever is going to give it to him.
He shakes his head. “Even if I could get past the vampire thing, it wouldn’t matter.
He’s got a proper fated mate out there somewhere now, right?
That’s how it works.” He holds my gaze with a sad smile.
“If I ever meet the fates, I’m going to ask them why they screwed mages over in the mate department. ”
“Atlas, a gargoyle I work with, just mated a mage. He says they’re fated.”
“Well, lucky him.” Jareth lets out a humorless laugh. “I’m not Loch’s mate though. If I was, he would be able to tell.”
“You don’t know that,” I say weakly. Loch doesn’t know the first thing about being a vampire, but Jareth is probably right—if they were fated, he wouldn’t have been able to get Loch to leave. The pull would have been too strong.
The kettle whistles and Jareth busies himself making two cups of tea.
It smells like lavender and chamomile, and I’m betting he got the plants from his garden.
He sets one cup down in front of me and makes a move to pull out another chair, but I wrap my arm around him before he can and tug him onto my lap.
He only resists for a second before he relaxes into me, curling his large body up a little smaller and tucking himself against me.
“Am I allowed to rage about how unfair all this is?” he asks.
“Of course, you are. You know I wish it was different too.”
“Do you?”
We’ve had this conversation at least a dozen times over the years, but he needs reassurance and familiarity right now, so I give it to him.
“Of course I do. I love you, Jare, I always have. If I could pick a fated mate, I would pick you in a heartbeat.”
“How do you even know that you have a fated mate? Not every shifter does.”
It’s a well-worn conversation between us, but this time my wolf is restless, and a sick, guilty feeling churns in my stomach.
“Maybe I don’t,” I lie. Is it really a lie when you want it to be true?
The memory of Lochlan’s scent in my nose makes my insides squirm with guilt. It can’t be true, can it? The fates can’t really be this cruel.