Chapter 6
SIX
ROMAN
I let go of Lochlan’s arm as soon as we’re in the hallway and I’m sure Cas isn’t going to talk him into sharing a bed.
I should let him. It would solve two problems: getting him over Jareth and ruining his dick-hardening scent.
My wolf growls at the thought of Cas’s—or anyone else’s—hands anywhere near Lochlan, and the sound rumbles in my throat.
He keeps pace just one step behind me, not saying a word, but I can still sense him seething.
There’s a slightly bitter edge to his warm, tempting scent that doesn’t do a damn thing to make it easier to bear.
My dick is hard and my wolf is panting like it’s the full moon and there’s a willing hole just waiting for my knot.
I switch to breathing through my mouth, but that doesn’t help at all.
If anything, it’s worse. A few breaths through my mouth and I can taste Lochlan on my tongue.
I growl to myself and he makes a sound behind me that I’m positive is meant to goad me.
“What?” I rise to the bait even though I know I shouldn’t, walking a little bit faster so I can get him to his room and be done with him.
“Nothing, I just figured you’d be in a better mood now that you’ve finally fucked Jareth.”
I bark out a laugh. That’s not what I expected him to say.
I had a feeling he could smell Jare’s scent lingering on me, maybe I even hoped he would and that’s why I went straight to Cas’s room when I got back.
But if he thinks I fucked my mage, then Cas is going to have to work a hell of a lot harder to help him hone his senses.
We reach one of the unoccupied rooms and I stop in my tracks, turning around to face him.
“First of all, bloodsucker, it’s none of your damn business what Jareth does with me or anyone else at this point. You fucked up worse than you even know and you’re going to need to accept that it’s over.”
He snarls at me, flashing his set of long, pearly fangs and lunging.
I make a mental note to tell Cas that he needs to work on Loch’s telegraphing too.
It won’t matter if he attacks a human, who would be too slow and weak to do anything about it anyway, but if he ever plans to win an equally matched fight, he needs a lot of work.
I catch him by the throat again like I did earlier, and back him up against the door.
His scent surrounds me, filling my lungs and pumping through my veins.
I want to rip his throat out and lick every inch of his bare skin at the same time.
I’ve never been in so much conflict with my wolf before, but I get the feeling that even if I hadn’t promised Jare that I would help Loch, I still wouldn’t be able to kill him.
“And second of all,” I go on, growling the words at him through clenched teeth, staring into the depths of his red-rimmed irises. “Smell me again.”
He must think it’s mockery or a trap because he just glares at me.
I mimic drawing in a deep breath, flaring my nostrils and audibly sniffing so he’ll get the idea.
I’m aware that he’s smart enough to know how to smell things—although, he really hasn’t demonstrated yet that he’s smart enough to tie his own damn shoes—but the encouragement seems to work.
He gives another tentative sniff. I see the flicker of lust in his eyes, and I grit my teeth a little harder.
“Close your eyes,” I command. “Try again. Scents are complex, they weave together like threads and sometimes you need to focus so you can pick out each one. Now, really pay attention, and tell me each scent you can detect.”
Lochlan makes a petulant face with his eyes closed that would probably amuse me if I didn’t hate him so much. Then his nose twitches again and his chest inflates with his inhale.
“Aside from all the underworld scents, I can smell you… cinnamon and sunshine, masculinity, power, and something wild… Your wolf, I think. And I can smell Jareth. Herbs and lavender and that strange, spicy magic scent.”
“Right. I was with Jareth. But do I smell like sex?” Loch squirms and I squeeze his throat a little harder. Ah, I think I see what the problem is. It’s the same problem I’m having. “Do I smell like I’ve had sex,” I amend. “Do you smell my cum or Jareth’s?”
He hesitates a second, then shakes his head. I loosen my grip on his throat, but I don’t step back yet; I can’t seem to make myself. Loch’s eyes open slowly and meet mine again.
“Why not? You’re in love with him.” The bitterness is gone from his tone now, replaced by a resigned kind of curiosity. He made the same accusation earlier, and I told him the truth. Of course, I’m in love with Jareth. I’ve loved him almost as long as I can remember.
“Because he’s not my fated mate.”
His face contorts and then he laughs. “That’s the stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever heard.”
Of course he doesn’t get it. Why would he? He’s been a vampire for, what? A few weeks? He still thinks like a human and he doesn’t realize how long forever really is to spend wondering if fate might throw someone into your path to derail your happily ever after if you try to claim someone else.
“Jareth thinks so too,” I tell him, and then I spend just a second eyeing him.
He really doesn’t understand what’s happening between us, does he?
Could I be wrong? Yes, he smells like sex.
And yes, my wolf is showing interest in someone for the first time in months.
But maybe it doesn’t mean what I think it does.
Is there someone I can ask? Some way to know for sure?
His eyelids droop just a little, telegraphing a fraction of a second before he moves just like he did before.
Instead of lunging at me with his fangs out this time though, his lips pucker and a needy sound vibrates in his throat.
I catch him by the jaw this time, stopping him half an inch from my lips.
He blinks rapidly like he’s coming out of a thrall and pulls back.
“Sorry. I don’t know why I did that.”
I grunt in response and finally take a step back. Every cell in my body aches in protest, including the ones in my painfully hard dick.
“That’s your room.” I point at the door he’s still leaning against. “You won’t be able to leave the underworld without one of us but just go ahead and find me or Cas if you need anything.”
I spin on my heel and walk away, listening to make sure I hear him go into his room and close the door before I turn down the hallway that leads to Auri’s office.
I might as well get this part over with.
LOCHLAN
Why the fuck did I do that? I don’t want to kiss Roman.
I mean, okay, he’s sexy as fuck and he smells like orgasms somehow, but I’m in love with Jareth.
I don’t even like Roman. He’s a dick and he always has been.
Well, aside from what he did for me just now, helping me work on untangling scents and reassuring me that they didn’t fuck, even though he was right that it’s technically none of my business.
“Fuck,” I growl, raking my fingers through my hair and pacing around the room.
Everything feels so wrong and mixed up. I’m horny and heartbroken and pissed off, and I don’t know what to do with all of it.
I told Cas I wanted to freshen up, but honestly, I think I just needed a few minutes to get my thoughts together and be alone.
It’s not like I need to shower. I don’t sweat, I don’t get that grimy feeling on my skin like I did when I was human.
Maybe the hot water would be soothing anyway though.
It would be something familiar, at least.
I strip out of my clothes and fold them neatly.
I’ll have to put them back on when I’m done.
I guess if I’m going to stay here for a little while, I should ask Cas or Roman to take me back to my apartment to pack a bag.
I told them I would leave as soon as possible, but the thought weighs heavily on me as I make my way into the en suite bathroom and turn on the shower, cranking the heat as high as it will go.
It’s not like it can hurt me, and an unbearably hot shower sounds amazing.
I was never good at connecting with other people.
Sure, I dated and had some casual friends before I met Jare, but it always seemed like there was something missing, some connection other people felt that I didn’t.
I was working at a café when we met, and I can still remember the feeling that rushed through me the first time our eyes met.
It felt like he knew me somehow, even though we’d never seen each other before.
We just clicked. I’ve never had that with anyone else.
Maybe that’s what Cas meant when he said that I would already know if Jareth and I were mates.
Could we be? Is there someone I can ask?
I step under the water and groan, ignoring the fact that my dick is still hard from Roman’s scent lingering in my nose.
Blue balls can be my punishment for whatever that was out in the hallway.
I don’t bother with soap, I just stand under the water until some innate sense that I don’t understand yet tells me Cassius is outside of my room.
I turn the shower off and towel dry, then get dressed in a flurry.
Ha, that part of being a vampire is pretty cool, at least. Naked to clothed in less than one second is pretty badass.
I open the door and find Cas in the hallway, just like I expected. He’s traded his puffy Gothic shirt and dark slacks for a much more modern look of a black V-neck t-shirt, a pair of jeans, and motorcycle boots.
“I get weird looks when I go to human bars in my usual clothes,” he explains.
I snort a laugh. “I didn’t get the feeling you were the type of guy who cared what people thought of him.”
“I don’t, darling. But if they think you’re a weirdo, they’re much less compliant when you lure them into a dark alley to bite them,” he says, and I shudder.
Shit, it’s going to be a long night.
JARETH
My garden is weed free, my house is spotless, and I’ve already taken a long walk through the forest today to connect with nature. I guess I can call that a productive day. The problem is, all that’s left is to go inside my quiet little cottage and spend the rest of the night alone.
I used to love being alone. Granted, I looked forward to Roman’s visits, but after years of the very communal living I experienced with Roman’s pack, I was thrilled when I bought this secluded house all for myself.
I couldn’t wait to spend peaceful mornings sipping my tea and leisurely nights reading by the fire uninterrupted.
I do still love those things, but they feel somehow sadder now without Lochlan here.
I huff at that thought and busy myself making a fire. He made his choices and there’s no taking them back now. Even if I could forgive him, I meant what I said to Roman—what’s the point when he’s going to get all fated mate obsessed eventually, just like my stupid, perfect wolfie bestie is.
I’m not sure the breakup is the only thing bothering me though.
A sense of unease lingers in the back of my mind as I finish stacking all the wood then close my eyes, pull my energy into my fingertips, and flick them like I’m splashing water.
Instead of water though, sparks flit out and catch on the dry logs in my hearth, quickly turning from a few glowing embers into a cozy, crackling fire.
I dust my pants off as I stand up, then I grab the leather satchel hanging from a hook near my fireplace.
I’ve never been one for future casting. It’s too uncertain to be useful, and half the time, you end up changing the course of it by knowing it anyway.
I have the rune tiles my mentor gave me though, and every so often I try my hand at them again.
The uneasy feeling that won’t stop nagging at me is as good a reason as any to see what the tiles have to say.
I spend a minute focusing my energy on the contents of the bag, pulling in the essence of my home and the surrounding forest and letting it flow through me and swirl around tiles that were carved from bone centuries ago and passed down from one mage to the next.
When it feels right, I reach into the bag and pull out a handful of tiles.
I sit down on the floor and lay them out in front of me in the warm, flickering glow of the firelight.
Huh.
Well, this looks like a mess.
I see Thurisaz, which typically represents destruction, sometimes war; Othala for family; Gebo, which is often sex but could also mean a gift; Nauthiz for sacrifice; and Hagalaz for disruptive change or massive storms. I stare at the symbols and try to let the possible meanings of this combination of runes sink in.
It doesn’t look great, if I’m honest, especially paired with that uneasy feeling.
Is there danger coming? Maybe it’s already arrived.
Loch’s transition definitely qualifies as a destructive change and perhaps having to let him go is the sacrifice.
Those answers don’t sit quite right though.
They’re true in and of themselves, but they don’t feel true for the reading.
Great, so more destructive change and sacrifice to come. Lovely. At least there will be sex or maybe a present. I snort at myself and gather the tiles back to put them away. That was pointless and I don’t feel any better.
I set the bag aside and sit, watching the flames dance for a while, casting shadows across the floor and crackling pleasantly. But eventually I grow weary of sitting alone in front of the fire, so I put it out and drag myself to my cold, empty bed with a sigh.