Chapter 101- Goodbye
“ Get out,"
“ But…"
“ I said get out! Get the fuck out of here!" I snapped as I looked at Mirabel with hatred.
“ What is wrong with you? Few minutes ago you were kissing me and now you're yelling at me," she said as she folded her hands looking at me. I swear I was barely containing myself from my anger.
“ I'm not going to say it again, get the fuck out of my house,” I said as calmly as I could.
“ I'm not…” I just dragged her by the arm as I opened the door and threw her out then I closed the door in her face.
I walked to the couch where her bag was and took it in anger as I opened the door and threw it out with her.
As soon as I closed the door I slid to the floor as I buried my head in my hands as the water works broke.
I was a total loser, I knew my woman too much, I knew she was going to come looking for me when she didn't see me and I set everything up. I broke her heart, I broke her trust.
I could see the way she didn't believe me when I started but when Mirabel came out I could see her trust for me shake.
How could I do something like that to her? To the woman I love?
I knew that I couldn't just tell her we should break up without giving her a reasonable reason so I had to come up with a shitty ass story. I just wanted her to hate me, to move on from me and be happy without me so the breakup doesn't hurt her much.
I didn't care that I'll be in pain for the rest of my life, I just wanted her to see me as the man who broke her heart and hate me, it would make the pain less painful.
Anna, my love I'm sorry for doing this to you, but I had to, I didn't have a choice.
I cried and cried like a baby until there weren't any tears left to cry.
I stood up from the floor as I grudgingly walked to my room and fell on the bed feeling lifeless. My head was banging, my stomach was hurting. Everywhere but most especially my heart.
***
When I woke up, it was sometime late at night. I turned to the side of the bed like I was expecting someone to be there.
I got out of bed as I walked to the toilet to pee, blame it on all the alcohol I took today. I got drunk, I had the courage to face Anna and lie to her but that didn't make me feel better in any way.
I remember the first time I brought Anna here and how excited she looked, I couldn't help but smile at the thought, I miss her, I miss her so much.
I walked out of the bathroom as I fell on the bed again feeling even more drained.
I soon fell asleep again.
***
I looked at myself in the mirror and I looked like shit. I was supposed to look like the breakup didn't affect me, not like a man who had his soul snatched out of him. I looked like a fucking ghost.
I walked out of the closet as I took my phone and then I walked out of the penthouse.
When I reached the office, I stepped out of the car and for a minute I just stood there looking at the building, it wasn't worth losing the woman I love.
What was even more painful was the fact that I'd have to see her everyday, how would I keep the act when all I think about is her? Her scent is stuck to me like it's a part of me, her smile is recorded in my memory and it plays everytime without my permission and her laughter echoes in my mind.
I closed my eyes and sighed before walking into the building, I really didn't want to work but a man who isn't heart broken has to come to work. If not for anything, just so I could catch a glimpse of her face.
I walked into the elevator as I waited with held breath to reach my floor. As soon as the door opened my heart skipped as I saw her standing there.
“ Good morning sir," she said,
Her eyes, they looked like she had been crying all night and I felt my heart clench at the sight.
“ Morning," I said before walking to my office,
She followed me as I opened the door and entered and she followed.
I sat down and then turned to her.
“ For the last time, what's going on?" She asked. She was giving me another chance, another chance to tell her all this was a lie and she was my life, my love, but I couldn't.
“ There's absolutely nothing to explain to you," I said as I looked her straight in the eyes. Please whatever you see in my eyes is just a lie, please.
“ Really? So I was a joke to you?" No. But I just shrugged. She wiped the tears in her eyes as she moved closer to me but I quickly stood up trying to get as far away from her as possible. I couldn't stand being close to her because I knew that the moment she touches me, my facade would crumble. I knew I would pull her close and hug her.
“ Look me straight in the eyes and tell me I was nothing but a joke to you, tell me everything was all a lie, that I mean nothing to you, do it then I'll believe you," No Anna, that's hard but I did it anyway.
I looked her straight in the eyes with my fingers crossed as I tried to sound as hard and truthful as possible… “ It was all a lie, you were nothing but a joke and you mean nothing to me,” I saw the way my words were hurting her, they were hurting me more.
" Fine then, I wish you a good life Cole,” she choked out as she turned away from me and my facade crumbled because she couldn't see my face. My eyes burned like I would start crying.
" I'll send in my resignation, goodbye,” she said and without sparing me another glance she walked away.