Chapter 102- Pain and Betrayal
All day I couldn't concentrate, it was like my head was so heavy it would fall off my neck. I kept looking at the door like she would come back. I just watched the only woman I love walk out of my life and I couldn't do anything to stop it.
I've been staring at the spot where she stood for more than an hour now. Some days ago I'd consider myself the luckiest man in the world but today I felt like the unluckiest man in the world, I watched her go, I watched her walk away yet I was unable to do anything.
“ I'm such a loser,"
I stood up from where I was seated as I walked to the window that overlooked the city as I just stared. At least amongst this group of busy people there were happy people, people who had normal lives and wouldn't have to be forced to marry someone they don't love, men who could look at a woman and fall in love freely, not men like me.
I was brought out of my thoughts when the door opened.
“ I'm not in the mood to see anyone today, please leave," I said as calmly as I could without turning back.
“ Son," I quickly turned as I rushed to my Mom and hugged her.
“ We broke up Mom, I broke her heart, I broke my promise, I lied to her," I said as I held onto her for dear life.
" Everything will be fine,” she said as she patted my back but I shook my head,
" No, nothing is ever going to be again without her, I'm going to marry someone I don't love, Mom, Dad hates me so much, I think he's trying to punish me for William's death, since William couldn't be happy, then he wants to make sure I'm not happy,” I said,
" Don't say that son, your father loves you,” at that I pulled away from the hug as I walked to the couch and sat down.
" He doesn't, don't close your eyes to the truth Mom, he's your husband I understand but from today I've ended whatever relationship we have, I'm not his son, he's not my father,”
" Cole! What are you saying?” My Mom asked in worry,
" I'm only saying the truth, nobody can do what he did to me just because he has the power to, if there's no hate in their heart. So I wish him good luck getting another son,”
“ But…”
" Please mom, I don't wanna talk about it, I just want to be alone,” I said.
“ Okay," she said with a sigh before she kissed my cheek… “ I love you,"
I couldn't speak, instead I just kissed her head showing her how much I love and appreciate her being here for me, I couldn't say ‘I love you’ when that's what I say everyday to Anna.
“ Take care, don't do something stupid," she said and I nodded before she walked out of my office leaving me alone with my shattered heart.
*********
“ All men are scum! I swear he's just lucky these legs don't work yet or he would have seen me in his office, house, wherever he might be, how can he do something like this to you after all the promises he made to you? Why?" Bella asked as she ran her fingers through my hair but I couldn't speak.
I was drained from all the crying and pain and it wasn't even like I had an answer to her question.
“ Everything will be alright, everything will be fine," she said but I shook my head.
I felt like nothing would ever make me smile, the only person that brought a smile to my face betrayed me. How funny is that?
“ Have you sent in your resignation?" she asked but I shook my head,
“ I'll do that later, I don't have the energy for that now," I said,
" It's fine, you can do it whenever you want,”
The room just became quiet as I got lost in my thoughts. How could everything have been a lie? The stolen kisses, the love we shared, the jokes, everything felt so real, maybe it was too good to be true.
The way he laughs and touches me, how could… how could everything have been just a joke to him? My heart clenched at the pain, it was like a deep hole has suddenly been created in my heart and it didn't look like it would be filled anytime soon.
“ Should I get you something to eat?”she asked and I shook my head.
" No way, You can't starve yourself because of a man you know? It's not worth it, none of them is worth it,” Bella said as she gently comb her fingers through my hair as she called her nurse.
“ Rita,” she said and her nurse answered before the door opened.
" Please can you get Anna something to eat, thank you,”
" Sure, anything special you'd like?” the nurse asked,
“ No, anything is fine," Bella said,
" Okay, I'll be right back,” the nurse said and Bella nodded before she walked out of the room.
“ You're going to eat, get some rest and we'll watch your favorite movie, you'll forget about him, you'll see,” that was easier said than done.
I don't think I'll be forgetting about him today or tomorrow or a day after tomorrow, it's going to take a really long time to forget him even though he broke my heart, even though he betrayed me, I just loved him too much, I loved him to a fault.
Some time later the nurse brought the food and for some reason I didn't like the smell of the food, I felt a shift in my stomach like I was going to throw up. Heartbreak comes with loss of appetite and I didn't feel the need to eat but Bella kept insisting.
“ You have to eat something, you haven't had anything to eat since you came back last night, just a little is fine," she said and I groaned before I grudgingly open my mouth to collect the food, but the moment the food touched my mouth, I jumped out of bed as I ran to the toilet and puked my guts. I emptied my stomach until there was nothing and I just sat down on the floor.
“ Are you okay Anna? Please check her for me," I heard her tell someone and I knew it was the nurse.
The nurse flushed the toilet as she helped me stand up and then I rinsed my mouth before she supported me and I walked out of the bathroom.
I climbed in bed and immediately Bella hugged me. I felt my stomach somersault again but I just groaned.
“ Oh my friend I'm sorry this is happening," she said with a deep sigh.
“ Is she…" I jumped out of bed but this time I didn't make it to the bathroom, I threw up on the floor as I held my stomach gasping for air.
" That can't possibly be because of the food right? What is happening to her?”