Chapter 39 Hudson
HUDSON
May
“And where does this go?” I ask, holding up a frilly looking… sheet? Maybe.
“That’s the crib skirt,” Adrian explains. “It goes under the mattress so it hangs around the edge, then you can’t see under the crib.”
“Right. God forbid we see that,” I deadpan, earning a laugh from Adrian who’s folding up all the clothes I got yesterday at the baby shower he threw with some of the WAGs. I had never been to a baby shower before, but Adrian made it very clear that it was a gender neutral, everyone-included event.
Still, I was surprised that every single player and their families showed up on our off day.
I’m going to miss having that kind of support, but a lot of the moms assured me that they weren't going anywhere when I retire. I had to swear that I’d be joining their playgroup before they let me leave, and I didn’t hesitate to agree.
Adrian had my parents video call in. He had offered to have them come in person, but my dad had a fever last week, and my mom was too anxious about the trip.
I completely understood, and I thought it was really sweet that Adrian had put that much effort in.
Apparently, he even helped them pick out a gift, a video baby monitor that he helped my mom set up on her phone so she can check on the baby when she wants to so she can feel like a part of things.
I got a little choked up when he was explaining that to me. Looking at the camera now, where it’s already in place above the crib, has me emotional for a different reason. I can’t believe today is finally here.
The day I have been both excitedly counting down to and absolutely dreading.
I’m moving into my house.
Honestly, it probably could have happened sooner.
Project-wise, things wrapped up a couple of weeks ago, but Adrian was still tweaking things, and the first round of the play-offs ended up being way longer than we’d all hoped, needing all seven games for us to advance.
Moving in the middle of that would have been a mess.
Moving in the middle of the play-offs during a winning season is insane from a superstition standpoint in the first place.
And believe me, I’ve contemplated using that excuse to stay with Adrian for even longer, but as much as I have absolutely loved every moment of us physically being together, I’m also desperate for him to admit that what we have is so much more than a hookup arrangement between roommates.
I refuse to use the L word, even to myself, until I’m ready to say it to him, and until I think he might be ready to hear it, but I’m convinced that Adrian is it for me.
He’s the person I was always meant to end up with, and as strange as it may be, I think the only reason I ever married Shelby was so I could end up here, about to adopt a baby, hopefully with Adrian at my side.
And we were able to win this round in only five games, so I’m using my few days off to move into my new house.
Well, I didn’t do any of the moving. I can’t risk getting injured because I lift a box the wrong way, but Adrian has organized for the few things I’d ended up with in the divorce to be moved in here, and has furnished the rest of the house perfectly.
The only room with anything left to be done is the nursery, and that’s only because Adrian insisted I should be the one “nesting” to prepare for the baby to come.
So that’s what we’re doing tonight: nesting.
I’m just glad Adrian agreed to help. I want him to want to do all these parenting things with me because I really believe he is going to be this baby’s other dad.
He’s thinking about ways to include my parents from another state, and he’s picked out everything in this farm themed, gender-neutral nursery.
I really think he wants to be a part of this family he’s helping build, he just isn't ready to admit it because he’s afraid it could be taken away from him, or maybe that he doesn’t belong in it.
Whatever the reason, I think it has to do with his shitty parents, and if it wouldn’t risk my adoption on the off chance they started a fight they wouldn’t win, I probably would have flown to Arkansas by now to give them a piece of my mind about just how horrible they are.
But today is the first step in convincing him that he not only deserves whatever happiness he can find in this world but that he absolutely has a place front and center in my family if he’s willing to take it.
That, even if he doesn’t, or even if he needs years before he’s ready, that spot will always be there.
Adrian has shown me exactly what I’ve been missing with my other partners in the past. Being with him has made me the happiest I’ve ever been, and completely ruined me for anyone else. So, if he does walk away when this arrangement ends, I have no plans to replace him.
“Okay, that’s the last of it,” he exclaims. “You got so many cute outfits! I separated everything by size, so the top drawers have the bibs, hats, and socks. Below that is newborn onesies in this drawer, with shorts in the same size next to that. Zero to three months in the bottom drawers. The outfits are hung up in the closet, also by size, with the size labeled hanger separating them.”
“You’re amazing,” I reply, unable to keep my adoration out of my tone.
He laughs, waving it off. “It was fun. The crib looks like it’s ready too. I think the nursery is done! What do you think?”
I look around, taking in the mural of a barn on one wall with little farm animals surrounding it, the baby monitor, the piggy bank that has “Roy” painted on the side, and the humidifier that’s shaped like a chicken.
All the little touches Adrian added make this feel like the ideal room to bring a baby home to.
“I think it’s perfect,” I say honestly. “Thank you. This whole house is amazing, but this room… It's really special. It makes it feel so real, ya know? The baby will be here so soon. I couldn’t have done any of it without you, thank you.”
His dimples are on full display as he smiles. “I’m glad you like it.” We both spend a minute admiring the room before Adrian sighs. “I guess this is it, huh? You’re moving out, we’re no longer roommates, and our arrangement is over.”
I’ve been trying to focus on the positive, the next steps, but in this moment, I’m not ready. “I mean, I think we’re still roommates today, since I woke up in your house,” I suggest, sounding desperate even to myself, but I don’t care.
He lets out a short laugh. “So, what does that mean? We can hook up one last time?”
I shrug, trying to sound casual even as I plead with my eyes. “If you want to.”
He bites his lip. Glancing around before he lets out a short laugh. “Not in the nursery. Do you even have condoms and lube here yet?”
“I was optimistic,” I explain with a nod.
He smirks. “Get them. Do whatever you want to clean up and meet me in the kitchen. My first meal here is going to be your ass.” He spins, casually leaving the room like that wasn’t the hottest thing anyone has ever said to me.