Chapter 28 Taylor
TAYLOR
As soon as Gabriel slammed my bedroom door, I realized he was right.
I rushed out of bed, but by the time I’d put on my pants, he was gone. Kai eyed me from the couch.
I threw my hands up and retreated to my bedroom. “Yes, I know. I messed up.”
“Glad I didn’t need to say it,” Kai shouted after me.
I grabbed my phone from my nightstand and dialed Gabriel’s number, but it went straight to voicemail.
I tried Margo’s number next, hoping she’d answer my calls.
“Hello?”
When her voice came through the phone, I broke down in a relieved sob.
“Taylor? Are you ok?”
I struggled to find the words. Finally, I landed on: “No.”
“Where are you? I’m on my way.”
“Don’t leave Benji,” I blurted. “You just got married.”
“Yeah, and he’ll still be here tomorrow when we leave for our honeymoon,” Margo replied sternly. “You clearly need me, so tell me where you are.”
I sighed and collapsed onto my bed. “I’m at home.”
There was a wet spot beneath my face by the time Margo knocked on my bedroom door. I grabbed a shirt off the floor to wipe the tears and snot away before cracking the door open.
“Wow, you look even better than you did at the hospital,” Margo deadpanned as she pushed her way in.
“Gee, thanks. I’m so glad I called you.”
“Me too.” She smiled as she rummaged through my dresser drawers to find a T-shirt. “Put this on, I’m not solving your crisis for you while you’re shirtless.”
Of course, she tossed me one of Gabriel’s shirts.
“Whatever you want,” I said as I pulled the shirt on, ignoring the way it burned my skin.
“Oh, it’s whatever I want now?” Margo’s voice was laced with sarcasm, but I deserved all of it. “You’re clearly going through it, so I’m going to try to be nice, but don’t think I’m not pissed at you about those loans you’ve been paying.”
I flopped onto my back and threw one arm over my face. “Gabriel already let me have it, so you may as well take the opportunity.”
“Don’t be so dramatic, Mister Fall-On-Your-Sword.” Margo poked me in the ribs, and I flinched. “Tell me what happened.”
“I feel awful that I let you down with those loans. You were never supposed to know,” I began. “Gabriel came over to try to cheer me up, but I blew up, and now he’s pissed at me.”
“First of all, you did let me down, but not in the way you think. All the people in your life who love you want to be here for you. You’re the one who’s pushing us away.”
I peeked at her from under my arm. “Tell me how you really feel.”
“I will,” Margo said with a decisive nod. “I love you. That will never change. You’re my big brother, and you’ve done more for me than any other human probably ever will.”
“Not enough,” I grumbled.
“Yes, enough! I’m tired of this one-sided relationship you’ve boxed us into. And I’m sure Gabriel feels the same way. I want you to need me like I need you!”
I let her words soak in. Nothing made me feel better than taking care of the people I loved, but had I been robbing them of the same joy by insisting I needed to fight all my own battles alone? Would Gabriel have been so upset if I’d told him what was wrong?
“Fuck,” I muttered, rubbing my chest.
“Now, get up. Take a shower. Put some real clothes on and go fix things with Gabriel. You and I have a lifetime to work on our shit.”
“Ok, ok. But please don’t leave yet.”
“Not a chance,” she said. “I’m going to pick out your groveling outfit.”
As I stood beneath the spray, I started to formulate a plan of how I could fix things with both Margo and Gabriel. I wrapped myself in a towel and reemerged with a new vigor.
Margo immediately let out a scream. “Gah! Put some clothes on.”
“You said you were picking out my outfit. Was I supposed to teleport the clothes into the bathroom?”
I was so relieved that we were back to our usual banter.
“I’ll admit I didn’t think that through.” She laughed, eyes closed as she held out a pile of clothes.
Another one of Gabriel’s shirts.
“I’m starting to think you’re doing this on purpose,” I accused.
Margo smiled innocently. “It’s physically impossible for a man to resist someone he loves when they’re wearing his clothes. It’s science.”
I laughed, ignoring the L-word, as I carried the clothes she’d chosen into the bathroom to change.
“Actually,” I shouted through the cracked door, “I have something you can help me with.”
I’d thought I was nervous the first time I walked into The Whiskey Sour, when I was meeting Gabriel for our first date, but the stakes were much higher today.
On a Sunday afternoon, the place was deserted, but there was a head of curls I would recognize anywhere seated at the counter.
Alex was posted up behind the bar, her gaze icy as I approached.
“Let me know if I need to have this man removed,” she said to Gabriel.
He looked up, his eyes tired and red as they met mine. “I will.”
I slid into the seat next to him. All I wanted to do was fall to his feet and beg to kiss him, but that would come later. Hopefully.
“I’m sorry,” I said, then I hesitated. My feelings were too big for words.
“A decent start,” Gabriel said.
“Not enough,” Alex piped up from where she was washing dishes.
I sighed, shooting her a glance. “I’m not done.”
I turned in my seat to face Gabriel, trying not to get discouraged that he continued to stare straight ahead at the bottles lining the back counter.
Gathering my courage, I began again. “I’m sorry for pushing you away. I was hurting, but that’s no excuse. I should never have implied that you weren’t taking my feelings seriously or that you didn’t care about what I was going through.”
I ran my hand through my hair. “I’ve been on my own since I was fifteen, even younger than that if I’m honest. And letting someone in is something I’m going to need to practice. But I want to.”
Gabriel dragged his fingers through the condensation on his glass, and I itched with the need to reach out to him.
“I can’t say that I won’t ever make this mistake again, but I can promise to stay in this with you.”
I finally let myself touch his forearm with the tips of my fingers, and he let out a soft exhale.
“Our relationship means something to me, Gabriel.” My voice cracked. “Let me show you how much.”
Gabriel let his head fall forward, and my heart dropped.
Maybe he wouldn’t hear me out after all.
The moments that followed felt like an eternity. The soft clicking of glasses from Alex at the dishwashing station was the only sound as I waited for Gabriel’s verdict, and the silence stretched onward.
“Walk with me?” I asked, finally making eye contact with Gabriel in the mirror behind the bar. I gestured to Alex. “No offense, but I have some things to say I’d rather not have an audience for.”
A lemon wedge hit me right in the temple, and Gabriel let out a small puff of laughter. Hope swelled inside me again. He threaded his fingers through mine and nodded his head toward the door.
I felt like I could fly.