Chapter 29 Gabriel
GAbrIEL
Iwasn’t sure what I was doing, letting Taylor keep talking, when everything inside of me was screaming to cut my losses and move on. My fucking traitor of a heart wouldn’t let me.
Taylor, by his own admission, didn’t let a lot of people in. But he came and found me.
So, I’d listen.
I led Taylor by the hand out of the bar and out into the afternoon sun.
“My parents never wanted kids,” he said as soon as we were across the street. “I learned from early on that if I could stay quiet, be responsible, not cause trouble, the better things would go for me. Margo was an accident, and I was babysitting her almost right away.”
My brows furrowed. “At eight?”
My extended family was so close that there was always an older cousin, aunt, or uncle—who may or may not have been blood-related—to step in. I couldn’t imagine being left with a baby at such a young age.
“Yeah.” Taylor tensed as I looked his way.
I threaded my arm around his waist and felt his muscles loosen.
“She was seven when she got sick—leukemia—and we couldn’t stay under my parents’ radar anymore.
I think if I could have been her legal guardian at fifteen without a hassle, my parents would have done it, so they didn’t have to go to the appointments.
They’d drop us off, I’d do homework while Margo got her treatments, and they’d pick us up after it was done. ”
We stopped under a tree while we waited for the crosswalk light.
“I used my allowance to buy snacks Margo would tolerate,” Taylor continued. “My parents believed kids should eat whatever the adults were eating, but she barely had an appetite from the chemo.”
I couldn’t help inhaling a sharp breath.
He gave a wry smile. “There was so much fighting in those days. It was like the cancer was the straw that broke the camel’s back in their relationship. I thought it would get better when they finally divorced.”
“I’m guessing it didn’t?” I almost didn’t want to hear more, but I wasn’t about to stop him now that he was finally talking.
“Not by a long shot. I became their stand-in messenger boy, and they yelled their complaints at me. The cherry on top was when my father told me that Margo should be responsible for the remaining debt from her cancer treatments as soon as she turned eighteen. He was still mad that the debt had been assigned to him and not my mother in the divorce.”
“What the fuck?”
If I had known this was what Taylor’s parents were like before meeting them at Margo’s wedding, I would not have been able to keep my cool. No wonder Taylor had been barely holding it together. I squeezed my arm tighter around him, pulling him close to protect him from the memories.
I hated that this made me love him more.
“Yeah. I’d just gotten my first job, and I was used to living on a ramen budget, so I talked Kai into living together to save on rent. I’ve been paying it down ever since, and Margo didn’t know.” He scrubbed his hand over his face. “Until today.”
“There are so many things here I want to unpack.” I tried to keep my voice calm, but I was livid with Taylor’s piece of shit parents. “But for now, tell me about this morning.”
He groaned and sank onto a sidewalk bench, awkwardly tucking himself against my side while he filled me in on the conversation with his dad and sister.
“I’ve been trying to protect her my whole life, and I failed. I’m her big brother. I’m supposed to take care of her, but I let her down.”
I couldn’t comprehend how he could think he was a failure when it was clear how many choices he’d made throughout his life to make sure she was safe.
“Hey, hey.” I ran my finger over his cheek, wiping the tears that were building up again.
His freckles reminded me of the Milky Way when it was unobstructed by the lights of the big city. They were wild and perfect.
“You did so good, Tay,” I said, and I meant it. “So good.”
Taylor sniffled. I might have been mad at him, but I could admit this.
“Your parents set you up for failure time and time again, and yet, you figured it out. Margo is an amazing human, thanks to you. I’m sure she doesn’t think you failed her. I bet she thinks you’re her hero.”
Taylor rolled his eyes, but I carried on. “I’m serious, carino. None of this is your fault. None of it is proof that you’re unworthy.”
He looked up at me with those blue eyes that I couldn’t help falling into.
To me, he was the most worthy man to have ever existed.
I was beginning to understand why he couldn’t see it, but there was one final question I needed to know the answer to before I could forgive him: “Why did you push me away?”
I watched several expressions flit across Taylor’s face while he formulated an answer.
“I’ve watched my parents turn into the worst version of themselves in the name of love.
They claimed to love each other once upon a time, but it wasn’t enough to keep them from ruining everything.
” He let out a frustrated sigh. “Now, my mother chases men’s bank accounts all over the damn place.
My father puts his new wife over his responsibilities to his kids.
I can’t let us become that. It would kill me. ”
I ignored my first thought: if he thought love would ruin our relationship, it meant he thought there was love in our relationship. That realization made my heart soar, but now was not the moment for those kinds of declarations.
Taylor deserved romance, a magical moment, not one where we were both tear-stained and exhausted. So, I’d wait.
The second thought left my mouth without permission.
“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”
From Taylor’s shocked expression, I don’t think he expected me to be so direct. “W-what?”
“You are not your parents. You have years and years of evidence to the contrary. Your love for Margo has made you a better person at every turn, with every opportunity for things to go differently. How you allow love to transform you is entirely your choice, and if you think it will magically ruin everything in our relationship, then respectfully, you’re being stupid. ”