Chapter 16
Chapter Sixteen
Lexi
Stu’s wife Lindsay and I have been best friends since high school.
I’m the reason they met, and I couldn’t be happier for her.
They’re truly an amazing couple and I know he treats her like a queen.
Never more so than since they had their little girl, Flora, who’s a year and a half old.
The pregnancy was as unexpected as ours, but she’s a lawyer so it’s a little different for her.
They have their own challenges since she works for a high-powered entertainment law firm in L.A.
, while the band is based in Vegas. They make it work, and although I hate making the drive back to L.A.
, I really need to get away for the night.
Things with Zaan have escalated to a point I don’t know how to handle, and I’m anxious for some wisdom from my bestie.
She’d been at the show last night, but the baby had been sick, so she and Stu had left as soon as we were done with the set.
When this impromptu Crimson Edge show came up, I’d called her, and she’d agreed to go with me.
I’m probably going to sing a song with them, and I need a wingman.
Stu’s going to stay home with the baby, so we can have a girls’ night out.
By the time I drive to L.A., change into what I’m going to wear, and touch up my makeup, it’s time to head out.
“Whatever is going on with you and Zaan, it needs to stop.”
“He wants me to not go on tour and that’s not happening.
” I say the words for what feels like the millionth time, but they feel a little hollow this time.
There’s no way I’m going to stay home and do nothing but gestate a baby for the next year or so, but I’m starting to have doubts.
About my convictions, my career, everything.
Including my marriage. And that’s what scares me most.
“I get that, but you can’t keep avoiding having the conversation you need to have.”
“Honestly, he has a huge game tomorrow and it’s not fair to fight in the middle of it.
I know I’m not handling things as well as I could, but he’s never been like this before.
And don’t you dare say I’ve never been pregnant before.
I mean, did Stu suddenly demand you stay home and do nothing until the baby came? ”
She chuckles. “No. Stu was beside himself with excitement. If you recall, I was the one who was freaking out.”
“Because you were the one who was going to have to deal with everything, whose career might be impacted. This is the part I’m struggling with.
They definitely have the right to make suggestions, but they literally don’t have to give up anything.
All they have to do is support us. And Zaan can’t even do that. ”
“I don’t know if that’s fair, Lex. You know I’ll always have your back and publicly I will always take your side. But in private? I mean, you scared him.”
“So you think I shouldn’t go on tour?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Then what? I apologized for last night’s stupidity. I won’t do that again. I will sit more. I will be cognizant of my limitations. Like, the band has already talked about what we’re going to do to make things easier for me to continue as long as possible. He just doesn’t want to hear it.”
“Maybe you need to show him the changes. Like show him the updated set list for your second trimester. Maybe have a rehearsal in Vegas where he can see what changes you’re going to make. Or let him talk to the guys. Zaan isn’t unreasonable.”
“So why is he being unreasonable now?”
“Because you’re pregnant with a baby neither of you were sure you would be able to have.
Maybe he’s afraid this is a one-off and it’s the only time you’ll ever be pregnant with his child.
Maybe he’s scared he’s going to lose you.
You know how scared you are? He has all the same fears.
Different ones, probably, but generally speaking, they’re the same.
And I don’t understand why you’re here, going out to a show tonight, instead of home with him, talking through this. ”
“I don’t know either. I guess he hurt my feelings by leaving the way he did. And it really bothers me that he would even suggest me not going on tour.” I relay parts of our conversation, and she nods.
“I get it. But you guys need to deal with this.”
“I don’t want to have this fight on the eve of a must-win game.”
“That’s an excuse.”
She’s right, but I’m here now.
“I’m scared he’s going to make me choose!” I blurt. “And if he makes me choose between him and going on tour, I think our marriage might be over.”
I’m staring straight ahead since I’m driving, but I know she’s gaping at me.
“He…I mean, he wouldn’t. Would he?” She sounds shocked.
“I don’t know.”
She reaches across the center console and squeezes my hand. “He won’t. He loves you. He has to know that won’t cut it.”
I pull into a private parking place behind the club. The band made sure I would have a place to park so I could get in and out easily. I’m a lot more recognizable than they are these days, so I have to be cognizant of my safety. Especially now.
It’s early, the band probably just finished soundcheck, but I want to hang with them for a while. And there’s no traffic now. If I wait until later, it’ll take forever to get in or out.
“Let’s talk about it later,” I say quietly. “Okay?”
“We will,” she says firmly.
Luckily, I’m distracted the moment we get inside.
Crimson Edge is doing an interview, and though I feel a little bad about it, the moment the journalist sees me he wants to talk to me. Luckily, we just recorded a song together, so I’m able to put as much attention on them as possible.
“Lexi, what happened last night?” the journalist asks. “Are you okay? It looks like you took quite a fall.”
I shake my head, trying to make light of it. “Shit happens, you know? It’s rock and roll. However, for my safety, and insurance purposes, the band and I have decided no more stage diving.”
“That’s a shame. Your fans love it.”
“Well, personal safety has to come before fun, you know?”
“Absolutely.” He pauses. “So, rumor has it you’re pregnant. Any truth to that?”
I freeze, completely caught off-guard. No one knows outside of my family, the band and their spouses, and management.
Jonny must see the panic on my face and immediately jumps in.
“Aw, man, I thought this was our interview. It’s like you like her more than us.”
“She has better stories,” the guy quips.
Fuck.
What am I going to do?
I can lie, but then it’s going to come out sooner rather than later. I’m already nine weeks. In a month’s time, I’ll be through my first trimester.
Dammit.
“So it’s true?” The journalist is staring at me.
“Maybe that’s a personal question you shouldn’t ask,” Sam interjects, leaning forward with a scowl on his face. “Are you going to ask us if our wives or girlfriends are pregnant?”
“No one cares if your wives are pregnant,” he responds with a shrug. “They care if Lexi Rousseau is pregnant, and my guess is—she is. Which is going to make this the scoop of the month!”
He gives me a triumphant look and it pisses me off.
It also makes me want to cry, but fuck that.
Not in front of this douche.
“My personal life is none of your business,” I say, getting up. “And I hope your scoop is worth it because you’ve just guaranteed you’ll never get another interview with Nobody’s Fool or Onyx Knight.”
He snorts. “You don’t have that kind of power.”
I smile.
Because I do.
Onyx Knight might be the biggest band in the world right now, but they’re our friends. And when I tell Kingston about this, he’ll be more than happy to make this guy persona non grata.
“You just fucked around and now you’re going to find out.”
I almost feel bad as I walk away, because I am pregnant, so he’s got the right information. It’s not like he’s making stuff up, but I don’t like his attitude or the smug way he spoke to me. I’m also pissed that the press already found out. Who would have spilled the beans in my inner circle?
Zaan must have told someone on the team, and they told someone. Or they were overheard.
And that pisses me off all over again.
Somehow, I get the feeling there’s going to be a lot of yelling after the game tomorrow night.