Chapter 13
thirteen
Cole
Satisfied the bed has been made to satisfactory standards, I shut the bedroom door behind me and run a hand through my damp hair. I feel so…alive, and it’s not just because I got a better night’s sleep. It has a lot more to do with who I was sleeping next to.
I stop short on the top stair at the sound of my name in the kitchen.
“It’s just so exciting,” Megan says. “I’m rooting for the two of you! Who knows? Next year, all of us could be here with our husbands.”
My heart raps against my ribs.
Reese laughs. “Whoa, Nelly. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. It’s early days. A lot can happen.”
My heart contracts for a beat, but it doesn’t release. It just stays like that, tight and uncomfortable, like Reese just reminded all of us that this is temporary without spilling the beans that it’s also fake.
I rub my chest with a hand and go down the stairs, making sure my feet are noisy enough to alert Reese and Megan to my presence.
They glance over and both smile. But Reese’s is just a bit…off.
“How can I help?” I ask.
“If you’re brave enough to venture outside,” Megan says, “Brady’s grilling the bacon.”
“Say less.” I grin and salute.
It’s warmer than it was yesterday, and there’s even some dripping from the icicles hanging off the roof, but that balmy shift is lost on me as I step into the cold. I’m still trying to figure out how to process Reese’s comment to Megan.
This whole time we’ve been trying to convince people we’re really into each other, and her comment felt like a big, fat step in the other direction.
Brady turns, a cloud of steam acting like a backdrop behind him.
“Reporting for duty,” I say.
“Oh, sweet. I just finished the first batch and was about to put on the second.” He nods at an open package of raw bacon strips.
I go over and start draping them on the grill.
“So,” Brady says. “You and Reese.”
I let out a laugh. What a way to start a conversation. Very smooth. I get the feeling he’s been wanting to have this talk for a while.
“Yup,” I say.
“How’s that going?”
What does he expect me to say? Terrible. You were right to break up with her.
“Amazing,” I say, ignoring the little tweak in my chest as I think of her comment to Megan. “She’s incredible. But I don’t need to tell you that.”
I couldn’t help myself.
He gives a little chuckle. “Yeah. Reese is great.”
I steal a sidelong glance at him. He’s got a little v between his brows as he turns the bacon way before it’s time.
“It’s kinda weird watching her with you,” he says, a frown on his brow.
“Why’s that?”
He shrugs. “She’s just so…into you. When she and I were dating, she never really felt in, if that makes sense. Kinda like she was just going along with it because it was easy. Maybe I expected her to read my mind too much.” He smiles wryly. “You know what she said when I broke up with her?”
I shake my head, my curiosity completely roused.
“I didn’t even wanna break up,” he says. “I just wanted some indication from her that she actually wanted to be with me. But all she said was, I understand. Zero fight, you know?” He shrugs. “She must’ve been ready to let it go.”
I don’t say anything for a few seconds. I can’t tell why he’s saying this to me. Is it because he’s still in love with her?
“But you’re with Megan now.” I feel like it’s important to bring this fact to the forefront—to remind him of his choices.
“Yeah,” he says with a smile. “I am.”
Okay, that smile is interesting. I was starting to wonder if he’d actually pursued Megan to get a reaction out of Reese.
“I really like Megan,” he says, the same smile there.
“And she likes me too. I know because she tells me. She shows me. I never knew where I stood with Reese. The way she’s been with you?
She never showed me she wanted me like that.
” He smiles at me like he wants to be sure I know he’s complimenting me rather than whining.
I smile back, but what I should really respond is, That’s because she’s been acting.
Or maybe she hasn’t been. It hasn’t felt like acting. We haven’t had an audience for the moments I’ve loved most with her. But I don’t know what to think at this point.
This is why I don’t do this kind of thing. I don’t let it get to this point.
It gets so messy. So scary.
I try to wade into the waters and then wade back out, but here I am, drowning in the deep end.
Reese didn’t fight for Brady. Would she fight for me?
I want to believe that what Brady sees between Reese and me is the real deal and not whatever facade she and I agreed to create together. But what if it’s not? What if the moment that facade isn’t needed, she lets go just as easily as she let him go?
I grip the tongs hard. Suddenly, I’m nine again, waking up to find my mom gone.
No fight. No explanation.
Just a big hole in my life where she used to be.
I have to pull back.