Chapter 14
fourteen
Reese
The food is amazing, but the way I feel inside is anything but.
Cole is holding my hand, but something about it is off. It feels…forced. Fake.
What happened out there with Brady and him? Or was this always how it felt when we held hands, but I was too wrapped up in my own daydreams of being with Cole to realize it?
Breakfast gets cleaned up, and Tess explains the plan for later—cookie decorating.
Cole works on cleaning up the grill while I wash dishes, and I miss having him next to me. I also can’t help wondering if he chose his chore on purpose.
“Hey, Reese,” Brady says as I wipe my hands on the dish towel. “Can I, um, talk to you for a sec?”
My heart skips a beat and my stomach gets tight with nerves. “Yeah, of course.”
I follow him over to the Christmas tree in the corner just as Cole steps back inside.
His gaze sweeps the kitchen, then finds us in the corner.
It lingers for a few seconds, and I try to make a face that says no idea what this is about, but he just offers a sort of grimacing smile and heads to our room.
“I, uh…just wanted to apologize to you, I guess,” Brady says, rubbing a hand on his neck.
“For what?” I ask, as though I haven’t spent weeks thinking about all the ways he hurt me.
He gives a little shrug. “I dunno…everything? I feel like it’s been a little weird this weekend, and I take full responsibility for that since I’m sure having me here wasn’t your first choice.”
I give a small laugh in acknowledgement. “You’re not wrong.”
He winces. “Yeah, I figured. I guess what I’m trying to say here is that I never set out to hurt you with this whole thing.
With Megan. You seemed like you didn’t really mind when things ended between us, and I felt like an idiot over that.
Then, Megan was nice to talk me through things when she dropped off my stuff, and I convinced myself it didn’t matter to you. But it did, didn’t it?”
I swallow. I want to say it didn’t, but I can’t lie. “Yeah, it hurt. Not just that you ended things but how fast they happened with Megan. I just felt…easily replaced? So, I guess we both felt like idiots if that’s any consolation.”
He gives a wry smile, then sighs. “I’m sorry. It was insensitive of me.”
“Thanks for saying something. I think we both could’ve done things differently, but honestly? I’m glad it’s worked out this way. You and Megan are good together. You make sense.”
He smiles, and I can almost see Megan reflected in his eyes. Strangely, it doesn’t hurt.
“I think so too,” he says. “And, despite the fact that I was sort of a jerk the past couple days, Cole is awesome. I’m really, really happy for you two. It’s obvious you guys have something special.”
I smile, torn between pleasure that he’s noticed and a twisting feeling because I have no idea if any of it has been real for Cole.
“Are we good?” he asks, his eyes searching mine.
I smile and nod. “We’re good.”
“You sure?”
“I’m sure, Brady. We’re all good.” And I mean it. Much as I’m grateful he said something, my most overwhelming feeling is the need to talk to Cole and figure out why he’s acting differently.
“Don’t leave Meg waiting,” I say.
He laughs, then turns and walks away.
I watch him for a second, then head to the bedroom with quick steps, my heartbeat quickening as I get closer. Closer to Cole.
I suddenly don’t know how to fake things anymore. It was so easy before, but now it’s like my body won’t cooperate.
I stop in the doorway. The bed we slept in is made. The air mattress is gone—put away, I guess.
“Hey,” Cole says, standing in the middle of the room with an unreadable expression, his thumbnail worrying a cuticle. “I’m…uh…gonna head out.”
My heart plummets. “Oh…”
“The temperature’s a lot warmer today.”
“But it’s still icy out there,” I say, grasping. “It’s dangerous.”
His lips press together. Lips that were soft and sure on mine just yesterday. Lips I’ve been dying to feel on mine again ever since.
“I’ll be careful,” he promises. “I just think it’s…time.”
“I’ll come with you,” I say. “Just gimme five minutes to—”
“No.”
The word isn’t harsh or loud. But it feels like a slap.
“You should stay,” he says with a little smile. “You’re having so much fun. It’s not fair to make you leave just because I need to. Tess said they’ll make sure you get home.”
I feel sick, and the amount of bacon I ate isn’t even why.
It’s Cole leaving. It’s him arranging another way for me to get home so he doesn’t have to take me himself. It’s what this means about us.
I stare at him, my heart pounding so hard and painfully that I can barely hear the buzz of my jumbled thoughts.
All I want to say is, don’t go.
But how can I?
I asked him to fake this whole cabin thing with me. I asked him to come for just a few hours, and here we are, days later.
I’ve asked so much of him, and now he’s done. He wants to go home.
Of course he does. That part makes perfect sense. What doesn’t make sense is my being so hurt over it—it’s being in love with him after so little time together.
He told me from the start that he’s not a relationship person. Bree warned me he’s a heartbreaker. I have no one to blame but myself if I’ve been deluded enough to think I was an exception.
His blue gaze is fixed on me, like he’s watching every thought flit through my mind through the screen of my eyes.
I swallow and nod, forcing a smile. “Okay. Yeah. I understand.”
Something flashes across his expression, but it’s gone before I can even try to identify what it is.
“Do you wanna say bye to everyone?” I ask.
He considers this for a minute. “I don’t wanna make it a thing. Would you tell them I had to run?”
I nod, hoping I can come up with some excuse that won’t make it obvious to my friends that my world is crashing.
“I’ll walk you out,” I say.
It’s quiet as we make our way to the door. My insides are writhing, but I don’t want Cole to know how much this hurts. That’s not his burden. It’s not his problem.
We started this thing agreeing to a mutual performance. I can manage another two minutes of that. Once he leaves, I can come to this room and deal with all these emotions. I’ll have to get myself together before I head back out there and face my friends.
“Thank you,” I say as we reach the door, and he turns to face me. “For everything.” I smile at him. “You totally nailed your part.” I swallow the acrid taste on my tongue.
He lets out a little chuckle. “Yeah, you too.”
But I wasn’t playing a part.
“Promise you’ll drive safely?”
“I promise,” he says, his eyes still fixed on me.
The mere thought that anything might happen to Cole on his way home is enough to break through my promised final two minutes of performing.
I wrap my arms around him and rest my head in the hollow under his chin—the place I thought I fit perfectly.
I still do.
There’s a couple of seconds of…surprise? Hesitation? But then his arms close around me, and he holds me to him, pressing his lips to the top of my head.
My eyes burn, and I feel his throat bob against my cheek.
What happens now?
Are we friends? Is this goodbye?
“Oh”—I pull back—“what about your sweater?”
“You can keep it.”
I have no idea if he’s saying that to be nice or because he just wants to get the heck out of here.
“I promise not to show up on your porch with it,” I joke, even though my mouth tastes like pennies.
He smiles, then chucks me under the chin. “See you later, Reese’s Pieces.”
He opens the door, and a whoosh of cold air blows in, shocking my system.
And then I’m staring at the door and he’s gone.