Chapter 16
sixteen
Reese
Megan’s mouth stretches into a smile. “You’re going after him, aren’t you?”
My heart hammers. “I can’t. I don’t have a—”
“Take Brady’s car.”
“Meg, I ca—”
“I’ll get the keys.” She’s out the door before I can protest more.
I’m too grateful for the gesture to try anyway. I want to go after Cole. I don’t know exactly why he left, but if there’s any chance at all that it’s because he got cold feet and I was too scared to tell him how I feel…
I have to try.
And if I’m wrong, well…it’s like he said. Solid relationships don’t just withstand the truth. They require it. If whatever we have between us can’t handle me expressing my feelings, better to know that now than to wonder.
I stand, then pace for a few seconds, energy buzzing at every synapse, then open the door and just miss colliding with a breathless Megan.
She hands me the keys. “Go get him.”
I make a fist around the cold metal, then hug Megan before hurrying to the front door.
I have no idea where Cole’s going. He’s driving, so he won’t answer a text, but maybe he can answer a call.
I shut the door behind me and get out my phone as I take the stairs down. My fingers shake as I navigate to my text thread with Cole. I slip and barely manage to keep from falling.
I force my focus to my steps, but inside I’m dying with impatience to make the call.
I reach Brady’s car, press the unlock button, and get in. Once I’ve buckled my seatbelt, I press call. I tap the speaker button, then turn my head to check my surroundings as I put the car in reverse.
I freeze.
In the car next to me is Cole, staring at me with his phone in his hand while I stare at him.
He’s…here? I thought he’d be halfway to Seattle by now.
It’s a few seconds before I get it together enough to end the call and put the car back into park.
Our doors open simultaneously, like we’re in a synchronized parking routine. The perfectly matched actions continue as we stand and our eyes meet over the roofs of the cars.
My heart clobbers my chest as I slowly walk around the back of Brady’s car, and Cole walks toward me.
“You came back,” I say.
Now that we’re just a few feet away from each other, I notice his eyes are red. He’s been crying.
It’s all I can do not to rush to him and wrap my arms around him.
“I didn’t ever leave,” he says.
I force my breath to come evenly and my heart not to leap over reason. There are plenty of explanations for why he’s still here. Maybe the car wouldn’t start. Maybe he realized the roads are still too icy.
“Why not?” I say, trying—and miserably failing—to sound nonchalant.
“I couldn’t,” he says. “I turned the key in the ignition and put the car in reverse, but…all I could think of was my mom. What must’ve been going through her mind when she did those things all those years ago.
That’s when I realized…I was doing the same thing.
Leaving you without any explanation. Causing pain to someone I love because I was being a coward. ”
That someone I love snatches my breath. I don’t even try to get it back. I don’t even need breath. I just need those words.
He looks at the car behind me. “Where were you going?”
I let out a breathy laugh. “I was…coming after you.”
“In Brady’s car?”
I lift a shoulder. “Desperate times.” I can’t take my eyes off of him—like every micromovement is a message I have to interpret.
But that’s not why I’m here. I didn’t come to try to understand how Cole feels, even though I do desperately want to understand.
I came to tell him how I feel.
I take a couple of careful steps. “Cole, I don’t know why you decided to leave all of a sudden, but I’ve been kicking myself for letting you go without saying something.”
His throat bobs, but he stays quiet, his eyes fixed on mine.
“This”—I gesture at the cabin—“has all been…insane. It was a crazy idea, and you were crazy to go along with it. Like, what were you thinking?”
He laughs, and the sound is like liquid courage—just enough to keep me talking.
“What I’m about to say is every bit as crazy. I get that. But it also happens to be true.” I swallow but look him straight in the eye. “Your two-date policy might’ve protected you, but it did nothing for me.” My heart pummels my chest. “I’m in love with you, Cole.”
His gaze intensifies.
My words hover on the chill air surrounding us, like a flurry of snow caught in a whirlwind we’re in the middle of.
“I know that freaks you out,” I hurry to add, “and you specifically told me you don’t do relationships and we agreed this was all supposed to be fake, and I understand if you—”
He takes two steps toward me, and his mouth covers mine. His hands grip my waist, while I thread mine into his hair.
It’s the rudest, most glorious way I’ve ever been interrupted, and I’ve already forgotten everything but Cole’s kiss.
His lips move against mine and his fingers press into my sides, keeping me where I am—as though I’d even consider going anywhere if he let go.
I’m here. I’m not leaving Cole again. Not now. Hopefully not ever.
I search for something new and different in this kiss, and I find it in the aching sweetness and the sheer vulnerability behind it, like we can finally lay down any fears and pretense.
The best part about it, though, is that it’s not that different. It’s the same warmth, the same fire I felt under the mistletoe and the one in the snow. Which means I wasn’t imagining it. Those weren’t fake or just for show.
They were real.
He pulls away just enough that our lips part, and he rests his forehead against mine. “My two-date policy didn’t stand a chance. I haven’t been faking for a long time now, Reese. I started falling for you on the porch the night we met. ”
Relief and wonder collide, tangling in my chest. I hold his face in my hands. “Me too.”
He lets out a sigh of contentment that I feel in my bones. “I’m sorry I left,” he says softly. “I overheard you talking to Megan, and…you were so quick to rein in her talk about the future with us that I got freaked out. And then Brady told me how easily you let him go, and it just…”
I nod and take his hand. “I get it. You were scared. But I wasn’t reining Megan in because I didn’t see a future.
I was reining myself in because I did see it.
I saw it and wanted it, but I was scared you didn’t.
And then you left, and I kind of…broke down in front of Megan.
I was so crushed. And just…tired of pretending I wasn’t feeling anything—about her and Brady, but also about you.
Telling her was such a relief that it gave me the courage to come after you. ”
He studies my face for a second, then takes my lips with his, like he can’t help himself.
I’d never want him to.
We break apart, and I press a kiss to the edge of his mouth. “I’m not going anywhere,” I say softly.
“Me neither.”
He kisses me again, and this time, it’s tender, an extension of our promise.
A little gust of wind rushes past us, and I shiver.
Cole chafes my arms, and I glance at the cabin—the warm, comfortable cabin—then turn back to him. “Should we head back inside?”
He considers this for a few seconds. “One more kiss?”
I smile. “Maybe just one more.”
His eyes light up, a more effective heater than whatever the cabin can offer. “At least four seconds?”
I laugh and pull his lips to mine.
We’re about to set the world record for four seconds.