Chapter 18
18
CASH
Throwing on a pair of basketball shorts after my shower, I walked toward the kitchen. Britt was still at the stove while Silas leaned against the island behind her, arms crossed. Both of them had their backs to me, but I could sense something was up. I stood back around the corner, not wanting to interrupt whatever sibling feud they were having.
“You need to tell him,” Silas urged.
“Like I said, this is none of your business.”
“I’m making it my business. You’ve been sneaking around with your ex.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I know exactly what I heard,” he stated. “‘I miss you, Kenny. We won’t have to sneak around anymore.’ That’s what you said, isn’t it?”
It was as though the floor fell out from under me. Did I hear what I thought I’d heard? Britt had told Kenny she missed him and they wouldn’t have to sneak around anymore? Because I was leaving for a few weeks ?
“That wasn’t?—”
“Don’t even try to spin it,” Silas barked, cutting her off. “I might be screwed up, but I’m not stupid. I know what I heard.”
“This isn’t your relationship, Silas. Stay out of it.”
“You think I can just pretend I didn’t hear that?” He scoffed. “Do you even care about Cash?”
My heart was beating so fast I thought it might break free from my chest. Still, I wasn’t going to budge because I wasn’t sure if I would get genuine answers once I stepped in.
“Of course, I do.”
“Then why are you doing this?”
She sighed. “It’s complicated.”
“No, it’s not. You need to tell him the truth.”
“The truth would be nice,” I said as I finally rounded the corner.
Britt turned, eyes widening. She glanced at Silas and he glared at her.
I stepped closer and crossed my arms over my chest, mirroring his stance. “You’ve been sneaking around with someone else?”
She exhaled. “I was going to tell you.”
Silas snorted. “That’s bullshit.”
“Silas,” she warned, but he wasn’t backing down.
“Cash is about to leave for LA with me. He deserves the truth.”
My stomach twisted. “So, it’s true?” I stepped closer, my voice tight. “You’re sneaking around with someone else?”
She rubbed her forehead, avoiding my eyes. “I was going to tell you.”
“When?” I demanded. “When I was 3,000 miles away, and you didn’t have to tell me face to face?”
“No … I don’t know.”
I shook my head as a lump formed in my throat. “I can’t believe this. I moved here because of you and now you’re fucking around behind my back?”
“I didn’t plan it. I’m sorry. It just?—”
“And with Kenny? You told me the night I met him that I had nothing to worry about.”
“You didn’t.”
Silas snorted but didn’t say anything.
“Clearly, I did. I fucking knew something was off. I’ve known for a while but I thought it was just the stress of your job. I’m such an idiot.” I grabbed my keys to leave, but remembered I couldn’t because of Silas. “I need to get out of here, but I can’t leave you alone.”
“I’ll come with you,” he said.
“No, you two stay.” Britt grabbed the lunch she had packed. “I have to get to work, anyway.”
I thought she was going to say she was sorry, but clearly, she wasn’t. Instead, she grabbed her things and left without a goodbye.
Once the door closed behind her, I sank onto the couch and buried my head in my hands.
Silas sat next to me and patted me on the back. “I’m sorry, man.”
I snorted a humorless laugh and peeked up at him. “What do you have to be sorry about? You didn’t just admit to cheating on me and break my heart.”
“No, but it’s my fault you found out.”
Sitting up, I leaned back on the cushion. “I should be thanking you. I’m also surprised you did that.”
“Did what?”
“Outed your sister.”
He balked slightly. “I did, didn’t I?”
“Yeah,” I whispered. “Thanks.”
We were silent for a few minutes while I replayed everything in my head. It all made sense now. The way Britt had been pulling away. How she stopped letting me touch or kiss her. The fact we hadn’t had sex in weeks, maybe even months. And how she was never home. It was all becoming clear and it fucking hurt.
“Now what?” Silas asked.
We had almost two more weeks before we needed to be in LA for him to start touring again and we’d originally planned to stay in Boston, but I was absolutely not going to stick around knowing Britt was seeing someone else .
“I guess that’s up to you since I go where you go, but to be honest, I really don’t want to stay here,” I admitted.
“I don’t blame you.” He thought for a moment. “We can head back to LA tomorrow if you’re cool with that.”
“Are you sure? You wanted to stay in town to spend more time with your folks.”
He nodded. “It’s all good. I can’t make you stay here and see my sister every day.”
“Thanks.” I looked around the living room at a few books of mine and other belongings. “Guess I need to pack my shit up. I don’t even have a place to keep it all.”
“Well, Britt didn’t kick you out. And yeah, she did you wrong, but I don’t think she expected you to just disappear. She knows we’ll be on the road soon. Hell, she was counting down the days.” He chuckled.
“Ouch.” I sighed.
“Sorry.”
I blew out a breath. “I guess I have twelve hours to box my shit and pack for the tour.”
“I can help if you want,” Silas offered.
“We don’t even have boxes anymore.” I stood. “We got rid of them after Britt and I unpacked after our move.”
He stood as well. “I can go get some.”
“Thanks, but you know?—”
“I’m not supposed to go anywhere alone yet.” He squeezed my shoulder. “I’m not looking to score. I’m just trying to help. I feel kinda guilty.”
“You don’t need to feel guilty. You did nothing wrong.”
“I know, but let me go get some boxes. I’ll be super quick. You can even drug test me when I get back.”
Part of Silas’s recovery plan with me involved gradually increasing alone time. After six weeks, I hoped he would be strong enough to handle moments on his own, whether that meant dealing with solitude or the pressure of being in environments where his addiction might have once thrived. It wasn’t just about the time apart so much as teaching him to trust himself again.
“All right. You can take my—shit.”
“I don’t want your shit.” He chuckled.
I snorted. “No. What am I going to do with my truck?”
“Oh. You can’t leave it here?”
“I could, since that was what I had planned to do.” I sighed.
All I wanted was to get out of there as fast as possible and avoid seeing Britt again. The thought hurt, but it was easier on my heart. I couldn’t stand the idea of coming back and seeing her with Kenny—that would shatter me more than I already was.
“Let’s just get everything of yours packed and stored in the guest room. Then we can get a hotel for the night or until we can fly to LA. I’m here for you, whatever you need.”
“Thank you. I appreciate it.” I wanted to hug him but instead, I grabbed my keys by the door and handed them to him. “Let me know if you strike out with boxes.”
Silas left, and I stood there for a moment not sure what to do first. Everything continued to replay in my head. I hadn’t expected to find out Britt was cheating on me, of course, and it hurt like hell.
I wandered around the apartment, aimlessly touching things I hadn’t noticed before. I looked down at the coffee table where a few of Britt’s medical books were stacked, one with a pen still bookmarking a page. It should’ve made me feel angry, but instead, it reminded me of how invested she’d been in her career, and how much I’d admired her for it. The way she’d always been so focused, so sure of what she wanted. And now … it felt as though I never truly knew her.
In the hallway, I passed the pictures that lined the walls. A few were of me and Britt together on various vacations or over the holidays with her family. I stared at the one where Britt had wrapped her arms around me, our smiles wide and genuine. My heart twisted in my chest. How could she have lied to me? How could she have cheated on me? How could she have betrayed me when I had put everything into us?
My gaze dropped to the picture next to it. A shot from last summer when we’d spent a weekend at Lake Livingston. The sun had been setting behind us, casting a warm glow over the water. I had my arm around her, pulling her close like I always did. We looked happy. She looked happy. I thought she was happy with me.
Torturing myself with memories wasn’t going to help, so I turned and made my way into our bedroom to gather my clothes and belongings.
I hadn’t even started sorting through my things when I heard the front door open. Silas was back, a stack of boxes in his arms.
“Found some,” he said, setting them down with a grunt. “You sure about this? I can come back and help you with this after the tour.”
I nodded, even though I wasn’t entirely sure of anything. “Yeah. Let’s just get this over with. Plus, my time with you will be over before the tour ends. It’s better if I just get everything packed up now, so I don’t have much to do when I get back.”
“Okay. What should we pack first?”
“I don’t even know.”
“Do you have sticky notes or those tab things?”
I blinked. “I think so. Why?”
“You can go around and mark everything that’s yours and then I’ll know what to help you pack?”
“Okay.”
The next few hours passed in a blur. We packed my things—clothes, shoes, whatever could fit into the boxes. I moved from one item to the next, trying not to dwell on memories. But everywhere I looked, I saw pieces of a life I’d created with Britt. The pictures, the small mementos, even the damn coffee mug she’d left by the sink that was decorated with the word “Doctor” in a fancy font.
Eventually, everything of mine was boxed up and stored away in the guest room.
“All set?” Silas asked. “I booked us a room near the airport and got us a flight out in the morning.”
I turned to face him. “Just about. Thanks for doing that.”
“Not a problem.”
We ordered a ride to take us to the hotel he’d booked, and while we waited, I wrote a note to Britt telling her I’d be back for my things when I was done with my commitment to her brother.
As we got into the car, I realized there was nothing left for me in Boston—not anymore. The only thing I could do was move forward, even if I had no idea what that would look like.