Chapter 25
25
Silas
Kissing Cash wasn’t enough.
I wanted more.
No, I needed more.
I was desperate for more.
The all-consuming desire coursing through me was something I’d never experienced before, and it left me feeling off-balance, but in the best way possible.
I’d always considered myself open-minded when it came to sex. I had done a lot of experimenting over the years, but I’d never been with a guy. Not even in a group scenario. And while I didn’t have any hang-ups about sexuality, a little self-doubt was creeping in as I considered doing something I knew would change everything between us.
Would I be any good? What if Cash realized he didn’t like what we were doing? Would he be able to stay on as my sober companion? What if we both loved it? Then what?
What the hell was wrong with me? Overthinking had never been my style. When I wanted something, I didn’t take the time to weigh the pros and cons. I dove in headfirst without worrying about the consequences, but for some reason Cash had me questioning everything, including everything I thought I knew about myself.
Pulling back from our kiss, I searched for a sign he wanted to stop, but his blue eyes were filled with heat, which told me he was just as much into what was happening between us as I was.
My hands moved down his body, and I toyed with the button of his jeans. “Is this okay?”
He nodded, his chest moving with ragged breaths. “It’s more than okay.”
Making quick work of the button and zipper, I pushed the denim and his boxers past his hips, freeing his already hard cock.
Lowering to my knees, I wrapped a hand around his smooth length and gave it a slow, teasing stroke. “Are you going to let me suck your dick?”
He looked down at me and tangled his fingers in my hair. “We shouldn’t be doing this, but I don’t want to stop you.”
“Is that a yes?”
“Yes,” he breathed.
With his permission, I leaned forward and slowly traced my tongue around his crown before licking my way down to his base and back up. The bead of pre-cum on his tip tasted salty but not unpleasant; in fact, I wanted more.
My erection strained against my zipper, and I reached down to undo my jeans and give myself some relief as well. With one hand around my shaft and the other around his, I began pumping us in tandem, then leaned forward and took him into my mouth.
I let instinct take over and did what I knew I liked, alternating between sucking, licking, and using my hand.
“Damn, Silas. That feels good,” he groaned as I bobbed up and down.
He tightened his grip on my hair, the slight sting on my scalp urging me to take him deeper. I took him as far as I could, loving that I was able to bring him pleasure.
“Fuck. I’m going to come,” he panted.
I had a second to decide if I wanted to pull back or let him come into my mouth. With my mind made up, I sucked harder until he shot his load down the back of my throat.
Once I swallowed everything he gave me, I rose from the floor, my fist still wrapped around my aching dick, desperately seeking my own release.
His eyes flicked down then back up. “Want a hand?”
I flashed him a grin. “Sure.”
Circling his fingers around me, I thrust into his fist as he twisted and tugged. I was so worked up already, it only took seconds for my cum to spill all over his hand.
I wasn’t sure what I expected to happen after we both got off, but when I looked at him, I noticed something shift in his expression. Like the reality of what we’d just done was hitting him in a way that it hadn’t for me, and I could almost feel him pulling away, both physically and emotionally.
“I should go clean up,” he muttered before hurrying to the bathroom.
Glancing at the closed door, I wanted to follow and ask him what was going through his head. But I worried if I forced him to talk about it, he’d try to convince both of us hooking up was a bad idea.
The water turned off, and Cash stepped back into the room a few minutes later. “The shower’s all yours,” he said.
I waited a moment to see if he was going to say anything else, but he grabbed his phone and sat on his bed as I pushed off of mine and walked to the bathroom.
While standing under the hot water, I couldn’t help but replay every second of what had happened from the moment we’d come back to the room. I had absolutely no regrets. And while I wanted to give Cash the space to figure out how he felt about it all, that didn’t stop me from hoping he’d want more because I definitely did.
Cash and I were the early risers of the group and usually had to wait on my bandmates to drag their asses out of bed. But this morning, we woke up with barely enough time to toss our stuff into our bags before we were supposed to meet everyone at the restaurant downstairs. I couldn’t tell if that was by design on Cash’s part to avoid further conversation about what had happened the previous night or if he was doing what I assumed he was and overthinking everything. Or maybe we’d simply overslept and I was the one overthinking.
As soon as we were all packed up, we went to join everyone else. Finding our group only took a few seconds since the other diners couldn’t help but stare in their direction.
“Look who finally decided to show up,” Jesse remarked as Cash and I took the two seats facing each other at the end of the table. “We were about to send Rina to your room to wake your asses up.”
I laughed and poured myself a cup of coffee from the carafe on the table then passed it over to Cash. “Let’s not give her any more reasons to be annoyed with me. I think I’ve caused her enough stress on this tour.”
Our server came over and started taking everyone’s orders while Cash and I quickly checked out the menu.
“So, how long did you all stay out after we left last night?” I asked, a little surprised by how awake everyone appeared.
“Maybe an hour.” Elliott chuckled. “Looks like you’re not the only one who doesn’t want to party all night long anymore.”
Malachi chimed in to say, “Yeah, I couldn’t wait to get back to our room with this one.” He wrapped his arm around Jasper and smirked.
Jesse groaned. “Seriously? I don’t need a reminder of my best friend and my little brother hooking up.”
Olivia smacked him playfully on the arm. “I think it’s sweet.”
Everyone laughed, and I glanced at Cash, curious about his reaction to Malachi talking about his night with Jasper. His gaze met mine, but he quickly turned away.
After breakfast, we all boarded the bus for the five-hour drive to Phoenix. Jesse and Olivia headed toward the lounge in the back while the rest of us got comfortable in our bunks. I liked to use the time on the road to get caught up on social media and message my family.
Britt and I had only chatted a couple of times since I’d left Boston. Things between us continued to feel off, and I blamed that on the fact I’d been the one to tell her she needed to come clean to Cash about her cheating. And while I didn’t really want to think about it, I couldn’t help but wonder what her reaction would be if she found out I was messing around with her ex. Not that she ever would because in less than three weeks, Cash’s contract with me would end, and we’d likely go our separate ways. No one would ever know what happened in private on the tour.
An hour into our trip, Jesse’s voice rang out. “I’m streaming the game back here.”
I glanced toward the lounge as Elliott yelled, “What game?”
“Red Sox and Astros,” Jesse replied.
Cash popped his head out of his bunk. “Who’s winning?”
“Red Sox. Two to one.”
Cash groaned, and Elliott looked at him. “Wait. You’re an Astros fan?”
“All my life.” Cash grinned.
I hopped down from my bed. “Let’s go watch.”
He got up and followed me to the back.
“Just when I thought we could be friends.” Jesse laughed, shaking his head. “I don’t know if it’s possible now if you’re rooting against the Red Sox.”
Cash dropped onto the couch. “I promise I’ll cheer for them when they aren’t playing Houston.”
“Deal,” Jesse said, turning up the game.
I stretched out beside Cash, my knee bumping against his, and to my surprise, he didn’t pull away.
A few seconds later, Malachi and Jasper joined us, taking up the seats at the end. From the corner of my eye, I saw Cash stiffen slightly as he glanced their way. It made me wonder if he was checking to see if they noticed how close we were sitting.
I expected him to scoot over a little, but when it was clear everyone’s focus was on the TV, he relaxed and gave me a small smile.
He stayed where he was, and we continued watching the game with our thighs pressed together. Like a kid with a crush, my body tingled from the slight contact between us.
Maybe he’d finally worked through whatever was going on in his head. At least I hoped he had, because all I could think about was what I wanted to happen when we were alone again.