12
WHEN ASTRID HAD asked him about the storms, there was something fleeting in Leifur’s eyes that told her he’d lost something.
Maybe lost someone, which would be even worse, but she didn’t think it was the right time to encourage him to share that with her.
No doubt whatever it was held bad memories, and today was supposed to be a celebration of him getting Brimfaxi back and starting a new chapter.
‘I was so carried away with the puffins, I forgot to ask you how you found the boat on the way here. Does she feel the same?’
‘Exactly the same.’ He grinned, and his face lit up in the way she loved but already realised she would rarely see. It had only happened the second time she’d seen him on the beach near his house and not at all on the boat trip or at the bar.
‘That’s great. So it was the right decision.’
‘It makes me more certain of the decision now that I have Brimfaxi back and intact, but I’m still not sure that running a tour boat is something I am cut out to do.
’ He picked up his sandwich and took a big bite.
For the first time, Astrid noticed that the end of one of his fingers was missing, just below where the nail would be .
‘Why do you say that? Your knowledge of these waters must be amazing.’ Astrid had finished her sandwich and moved on to the skyr.
‘I’ve spent years with three other men on this boat day in and day out. We were like family, but I’m out of practice mixing with new people.’
‘I hadn’t noticed.’
‘Thank you. That’s very kind of you, especially when you've been on the receiving end.’
She waved her spoon. ‘It’s fine. I’m not that great at stuff like that either. My sister has always found it so easy to talk to people and next to her, I feel as if everything I say is idiotic.’
‘It isn’t.’
‘Anyway, I only feel like that here. When I’m with Gudrun, I go back to being the older sister who everyone thinks is boring compared to her.
She’s always the life and soul of the party.
’ She had no animosity towards her sister at all.
It was just a fact; it always had been, and she was glad that Gudrun had surrounded herself with people who loved her for it and that her open, welcoming personality had helped her land her dream job.
‘Maybe it’s always like that with family. In my family, I’m also the older boring one. My younger brother is working on a fishing boat for a big fishing company and has no worries that they are the kind of people putting traditional fishermen out of business.’
‘Leaving you to worry about the future of the family business?’
Leifur shrugged. ‘That is eldest child territory for sure. He doesn’t take any responsibility for anything.’
‘Gudrun is very responsible. In a lot of ways, I envy her because she’s so carefree with it.’
‘The day I saw you on the boat from my shore, you looked carefree then.’
Astrid smiled, remembering what she’d thought about Leifur then. How he’d been standing there, looking like the vision of a solid Viking. And now she knew him, she knew he was a lot less solid on the inside.
‘I have no reason not to be, especially now.’
‘Why now?’
‘Jonas has offered me a job with you for the whole summer.’ She waited for his reaction, already knowing he wasn’t good at presenting an expression that said anything different from what he was really thinking.
If he wasn’t happy about her getting the job for a lot longer than she’d first thought, she’d know in the next couple of seconds.
‘That’s wonderful news,’ he said, smiling so that his eyes crinkled, telling her he meant it. ‘We’ll have a great summer, and it saves me having to get to know anyone else for a while.’
Astrid tried not to dwell on that being the overriding reason for him being pleased, preferring to think that he was glad it was her in particular.
‘Who’d have thought we’d end up working together when I saw you from my boat that first time,’ she said.
‘I know. It’s funny how things like that happen. I heard Siggi saying that he and Iris were in Hawaii at the same time last year and they think they were going to the same beach.’
‘My sister would think that was fate.’
‘You don’t believe in that?’
‘I don’t know. I’ve never seen any evidence of it myself.’
‘Perhaps because you’re a scientific person, you don’t read anything into coincidences and things like that,’ he said.
‘Perhaps you have to believe in the idea of there being a person who you’re meant to be with as well.
’ She held his gaze as she said it, which somehow gave more meaning to what she was saying.
She felt brave, speaking like this to Leifur.
Thoughts of it not being ideal to date someone you work with had fallen away since he’d brought her on this puffin trip and even thought as far as bringing lunch. It was almost like a date.
‘It seems unlikely that someone like me would find their soulmate by staying in the town where they grew up. You probably have to travel a little further to be in with a chance.’
‘Probably. Although my sister found hers in Reykjavik.’
‘I don’t know your sister very well, but maybe being more receptive to the idea of a soulmate makes them easier to find?’
‘I suppose that makes sense.’
‘Shall we take a last look at the puffins before we head back?’
They tidied the galley in companionable silence and then got their coats and hats on and headed up to the deck.
It was drizzling, and the wind had picked up, making the odd larger drop of rain feel like a sting on their faces as it hit.
The puffins were being buffeted by the gusts but carried on with their fishing regardless.
‘I think we should head back in case this weather gets any worse,’ said Leifur.
‘That’s fine. It’s not as much fun now anyway.’ Astrid tucked the binoculars back in the case and followed Leifur into the wheelhouse. It was snug in there with two people, more so when he closed the door against the elements, and it didn’t take long for the heater to warm them through again.
The drizzle had reduced the visibility, and the sea was greyer and choppier than it had been on the way.
‘I’m sorry, I did check the forecast but you know how changeable it can be,’ Leifur said, looking worried.
‘It’s fine.’ She put a hand on his arm to steady herself. ‘I’ve been at sea in worse than this.’
He manoeuvred the boat around so that they were heading back the way they’d come.
Astrid grabbed onto him again as the boat tipped forcefully from side to side while he made the turn, figuring that he was the sturdiest thing in the small wheelhouse to hang onto.
His feet were in a wide stance that seemed to root him to the floor of the boat so that he was at one with it.
It probably helped that he was steering and had a feel for what to expect, but Astrid was struck by how reassuring it was to hold onto him.
‘Sorry,’ she said, banging into his side when a particularly fierce wave tipped them.
‘No worries.’ He looked down and smiled at her, then took her hand that was gripping his forearm and tucked it around the crook of his elbow.
‘This would be awful weather to be out whale watching,’ she said, trying not to think about the fact that she had her arm linked with his and how nice that felt.
‘We probably should have turned back earlier. If we were on a tour, we wouldn’t both be down in the galley then we’d have seen what was going on.’
‘It’s not so bad.’ She wouldn’t have wanted to miss their galley picnic.
It was the first time they’d had a chance to sit down together and chat, just the two of them.
It was going to take quite a few chats before she really found out what it was to know Leifur.
She had a feeling that there were some depths to be discovered and that she had barely scratched the surface.
Once they were on a straight heading, she relaxed a little and started to overthink the fact that she still had her hand tucked into Leifur’s elbow.
Feeling his muscles tense as he adjusted the wheel to keep the boat from drifting off course was…
well, it was making her feel things for Leifur that were making her blush.
She slipped her hand out. He glanced briefly at her and she looked out of the window, not wanting him to see any sign of what she’d been thinking on her face .
‘When do you think we’ll start the tours?’
‘Jonas wants to start in a couple of weeks. We’ll need to do a dry run before then, perhaps with friends and family as guinea pigs. I think they’ve already started selling tickets on the website.’
‘Really? That’s scary.’
Leifur laughed. ‘You’re scared! I am terrified.’
‘At least we’re in it together.’
He nodded, his gaze fixed firmly on the horizon. ‘I am grateful for that. For you.’
‘It must be strange doing this on your own when you’ve always worked with your family.’ Astrid had worked out that he must have worked with his father and his brother at some point.
‘Yes, but there’s no choice. I told Jonas I could do this alone and he was right when he said I couldn’t. But I never thought he’d find someone like you. You don’t feel like a stranger, Astrid. You fit on this boat as if you’ve always been here with me.’
He didn’t look at her at all when he said this, yet it was the most heartfelt thing anyone had ever said to her.
She put her hand on top of his hand that was closest to her as he gripped the wheel, his knuckles white, betraying the emotion he was battling to keep inside.
His grip relaxed under her touch, and he removed his hand and placed it on top of hers, linking his fingers between hers and guiding their hands back onto the wheel.
Then, a moment later, he released his hold and gently brought her in front of him so that she had her back to his chest and his arms were on either side of her, his hands still on the wheel.
Astrid gulped. She was so aware of him standing behind her.
She thought she could feel his heat radiating into her back, even though that was impossible since they both had all their layers on.
At first, she tried to stand close enough to the wheel so that she wasn’t touching him, but gradually she leaned into him, enveloped in his embrace, all thoughts of whether or not it was a good idea wiped clean from her head.
‘Is this okay?’ he murmured into her ear.
She nodded. His breath was warm, and his beard tickled her cheek, telling her he was as close as she imagined.
Her heart was pounding, and she was sure he would feel it against his chest since it felt as though her whole body was vibrating.
Feeling brave, she placed her hands on the wheel, lacing her fingers between his.
His skin was much more tanned than hers, and his fingers were thicker and rougher, telling of the years of manual labour they’d seen.
She traced her fingers to the tips of his.
‘What happened to your finger?’ she asked, running her finger over the relatively smooth skin.
‘It got caught in the net when we were hauling in. I was young and cocky. I should have had gloves on so it was my own fault.’
‘How young?’
‘Sixteen.’
‘You’ve been a fisherman for a long time.’ No wonder it was part of him. Part of his soul.
‘It’s time to move on,’ he said softly. ‘And I don’t think it’s going to be as hard as I thought.’