13
THE FOLLOWING DAY, Leifur was on his way to his mother’s house for a rare family meal.
He saw plenty of his mother, but the rarity was that his brother was coming too.
He hadn’t seen Isak for months, and they weren’t great at keeping in touch with each other.
But his mind was filled less with thoughts of how the evening might go, and more with thoughts of Astrid.
The urge to keep her warm and safe while they were heading back from their puffin adventure had been instinct.
He put it down to the fact that Astrid was the first woman who’d ever been on Brimfaxi , at least as far as he knew, and far from it feeling odd, it felt as if she belonged there.
Had he overstepped? Probably. What little he knew about normal working environments was that it was a bad idea to mix business and pleasure.
It hadn’t happened yet, but now, he wasn’t sure what the situation was between him and Astrid.
It wasn’t so much about the physical side of what had happened, which literally boiled down to her standing in front of him, leaning into him, and their hands had touched.
It was almost nothing.
Except it was everything.
Though he’d never had a proper relationship himself, he’d had crushes on unattainable women, he’d had a few short-lived flings, and he knew the difference between all of that and what love looked like.
He was hesitant to admit that his feelings for Astrid were as strong as that, but he had feelings for her.
That she had come along at exactly the time when his life was in turmoil, bringing a calm influence, seeming to understand him, on some level felt like it was meant to be.
He let himself into his mother’s house with his key.
‘ Hae , Mamma!’
‘Big brother! It’s been a while.’ Isak came into the hallway.
‘Isak. You look good.’
His brother was looking sun kissed, even his hair was lighter. That wasn’t from working on a fishing boat in Iceland.
‘I’ve been to the Caribbean, can you believe it?’
‘The new place must be treating you well, then.’
‘Better than the last place,’ Isak said, laughing. ‘Come on, Mamma’s about to dish up.’
‘Leifur, it’s not like you to be late,’ his mother said as he took his coat off and sat down at the table.
‘Sorry, Mamma. I’ve been in the office today finalising the tour schedule. We had to work late to get it to the website person.’
‘I’m pleased you’re busy and not lying around on my couch all day,’ she said, winking at him.
‘Do you get paid for the extra time? At the new place, I get overtime if we’re back after the scheduled shift.’
Leifur glared at his brother but bit his tongue. ‘I’m a partner in the business, so it is a profit share, not an hourly rate.’
‘How is Brimfaxi , Leifur? Are you happy with the work?’ his mother asked as she dished up the delicious-smelling roast lamb stew.
‘She’s perfect,’ he said, smiling as he thought about the day before. ‘I took a run out to Andriesey Island to see the puffins.’
‘Aren’t you supposed to be looking for whales?’ Isak said, smirking.
‘Would you like to come for the trial run next week?’
‘I’m working every day next week,’ said Isak.
‘That’s a shame,’ Leifur said with relief. He’d only meant to invite his mother, Peta, and he’d already had enough of his brother’s jibes.
‘I would love to come,’ said Peta. She patted his hand. ‘I’m very proud of you.’
‘For ruining the family business and massacring Pabbi’s boat?’
‘Isak!’
‘Mamma, I’m sorry, but he has taken everything this family had left, and what do we have to show for it?’
‘People like you, working for the big fishing companies are killing the family fishermen!’ Leifur felt the rage bubbling within him and, in the moment, he thought he’d explode if he didn’t say something to hurt his brother the same way he’d been hurt.
But he regretted it immediately because it wasn’t Isak’s fault.
He had to leave the business because the capelin were no longer reliable.
He hadn’t left of his own accord, and Leifur braced himself for Isak’s retaliation.
‘Leifur! Enough!’ Peta slammed her hands on the table and stood up. ‘We are family. There is no blame for either of you to take or place. Isak, your brother saved this family after your father died, and he deserves your respect for that.’
‘Sorry, Mamma,’ said Isak.
‘And Leifur. Your brother must earn a living. As the eldest son, you have Brimfaxi . He has nothing. You must respect his choice to continue fishing.’
‘Sorry, Mamma. And I’m sorry, Isak. It was unfair of me to say that.
’ It hurt that they were both forgetting that he hadn’t decided to close the business alone.
Isak had been the one to suggest that he might work on another boat even before Leifur had realised that the absence of the capelin might spell the end for them.
And Leifur had supported the idea, knowing that his brother had to earn money somehow.
Isak wasn’t a saver like Leifur, who kept a buffer in case of leaner times, so he couldn’t afford to go out day after day only to return disappointed when there were no fish to sell.
But he never expected his brother to go onto a boat run by one of the conglomerates.
‘No problem,’ Isak said with a shrug, but not going so far as to apologise in return.
Their mother sat back down. ‘How was your holiday, Isak?’
Isak chatted for a while about his first holiday abroad.
He was earning more money than he’d ever done before, and Leifur envied him.
Not because of the money as much as that yes, he’d lost his job on Brimfaxi , but he’d been able to move on without a backward glance.
He’d been unconcerned about what Leifur would do next, and there had been no suggestion that they might do something together, even though Leifur would have been open to that at the time.
Not any more; the guilt he’d felt at letting his brother down had totally worn off after tonight.
‘Right, I have to meet someone,’ Isak announced almost as soon as they’d finished eating. He stood up and grabbed his coat before Peta had chance to put her cutlery down.
‘I have Grjónagrautur ,’ she said, thinking that the creamy rice pudding type dessert might tempt him to stay longer.
‘Sorry, Mamma. It’s work.’
Leifur highly doubted it had anything to do with work, but it stopped Peta from suggesting he didn’t need to leave. If Isak had admitted he was meeting a woman, which is what Leifur suspected, she would be upset with him for leaving early.
Peta busied herself packing up some leftovers for Isak to take with him, as well as a huge portion of the pudding.
‘Good to see you, Leifur,’ Isak said, shaking his hand. He sounded like he meant it, despite what they’d said to each other across the dinner table.
‘You too.’ He would have loved to ask Isak if he’d been at the same family meal as him, but he didn’t want to upset Peta again. So he stood at the door with his mother and saw his brother out.
‘He works so hard,’ Peta said with a sigh as they went back to the table to tuck into the Grjónagrautur.
‘He needs to if he’s going to the Caribbean.’
‘You ought to have a holiday, Leifur. The past few months have been hard on you too.’
‘It’ll have to wait until the end of the season.’ As well as not having enough time before they started the tours, he barely had enough money to take a bus to the next town, let alone a holiday.
‘I’m looking forward to seeing the boat. Do you have your crew organised?’
‘It’s just me and Astrid.’
‘Astrid. She is a tour guide?’
‘She’s a marine biologist, but she’s between jobs, so Jonas has signed her up for the summer. Her knowledge is incredible. She’ll be an enormous asset.’
‘It sounds as if you are quite taken with her,’ Peta said, smiling.
‘We get on well together. I thought it would be difficult working with a stranger on the boat, but she’s…’ He almost said perfect, but that would have sent his mother’s imagination into overdrive and he could do without that. ‘She’s got a lot of experience working on research vessels.’
‘I expect that will come in handy. So is it just the two of you?’
‘Yes.’
‘Very cosy.’
‘Mamma…’
‘Leifur. I have not said anything.’ Peta had a twinkle in her eye, and she didn’t need to say what she was thinking for Leifur to know.
‘And how are you?’
Thankfully, Peta let it go and happily chatted about the latest goings on at her book club and how there had been a newcomer at the mahjong group who had suggested they ought to play bridge.
‘Who wants to get into a game that takes years to master at our age?’
‘I think you’ve got time to master bridge.’
‘I like mahjong, and at my age, knowing what you like and sticking it to the new man who wants to play bridge is one of life’s pleasures.’
Leifur laughed. ‘I think I’m already like that.’
Peta laughed too. ‘Oh, my love. You have always been so solid and reliable. Now that you’re starting this new adventure, try and let yourself have some fun. The responsibility is not yours alone anymore. Let yourself enjoy that.’
After he had several parcels of leftover food forced upon him, Leifur left his mother’s house and headed home.
Despite the bad feeling between him and his brother, he felt lighter.
It was good to know that Isak was doing well and managing to hold down a job successfully.
Working for family was different, and Isak had taken advantage of that.
Leifur worried that the lack of a work ethic might be a problem for him, and now that it seemed not to be, he couldn’t help but take his brother’s attitude when he’d worked on Brimfaxi personally .
He sighed. Moving on from the fishing was one thing.
Moving on from these deep-rooted feelings about his brother was harder.
It was probably for the best that they were following different paths.
Maybe in a few years their feelings about all of this might have softened, and they’d end up being closer.
Friends, even. Leifur chuckled to himself.
It was ridiculous. He and Isak were like chalk and cheese, and it was easier to live with if he accepted that.
His phone buzzed, and he pulled it out of his pocket and saw a message from Astrid. His stomach lurched slightly. It had been a long time since he’d had that kind of reaction to a text message.
Astrid: Do you want to meet for coffee tomorrow?
Leifur: Where and when?
Astrid: Te & Kaffi on Laugavegur 10am?
Leifur: *thumbs up emoji*
He’d thought about asking her what she wanted to meet about, but it didn’t matter.
He just wanted to see her. Since yesterday, when she’d ducked out of his embrace as he began manoeuvring into port, he’d been thinking about her and looking forward to the next time he’d see her.
Maybe he’d go so far as to admit he missed her.
Was she feeling the same way, or maybe she thought it wasn’t a good idea to get involved with each other when they had to work together for the summer.
But his mother’s words rang in his ears.
Maybe he should try to enjoy himself more.
After all, the whale watching tours were hopefully going to be a much easier way to earn a living than fishing.
Finally, he could take advantage of the fact he’d be working normal hours and could have a normal social life.
And Peta was right. For the first time in his life, the responsibility wasn’t his.
Jonas was his business partner and had more idea about the business side of things.
Leifur had to remember that his role was captaining the boat and finding whales.
If he couldn’t sit back and enjoy that, there was something wrong with him.
And if he couldn’t share a coffee with a beautiful woman who could very well only be here for the summer, there was something wrong with the world.