Chapter 23
Brendan
I’m getting hitched today. Chris and I decided on a simple garden wedding and then a small reception at a local restaurant.
I would’ve been happy to do it at the Old Treasury Building in Melbourne—fifteen minutes done and dusted—but Chris wanted to do it properly.
All I care about is making him happy, and, surprisingly, I was the one that proposed in the end.
Seeing that look of surprise on his face had been more than worth it.
The ceremony is due to begin in thirty minutes, and at Chris’s request, we haven’t seen each other since last night. I’m nervous without him. Any tatts that would’ve been visible are covered with special makeup, which is probably for the best considering the fancy suit I’m wearing.
I look at my reflection in the full-length mirror and I’m taken back to nineteen again, about to marry Tiffany who is six months pregnant with a child I don’t want. My heart was broken then—Kyle was God knows where—and I was facing a loveless, sexless lie of a life.
Sitting down near the window, I look out into the gardens where I’ll soon be married and wonder where Kyle is right now.
Is he happy? Does he ever think of me? I pull out my phone and search for the one photo I’ve kept of him.
He’s smirking at the camera, blue eyes sparkling with mischief.
His wavy, blonde hair is all messed up and in need of a cut.
I smile, remembering the day I took it. We weren’t always happy, but we were that day.
Despite all the bullshit we went through, we had a hell of a lot of good days. Great days, in fact.
I sigh, my head lolling forward. Why do I still miss him after all these years?
His goofy, adorable laugh and his lame ass jokes.
A smile that could light up a stadium, radiant like the summer sun.
The way he held me—either cradling me gently like I was fragile and precious or holding me so tightly I thought he’d never let me go.
Over a decade has passed and he’s had plenty of chances to find me if he wanted to.
Let’s face it, I could’ve looked him up, too.
In the year following my release from prison, there had been times I’d hoped we would run into each other.
God, I was so pathetic and weak when it came to Ky.
It had been fucking hard getting over him.
“Brendan, what the fuck are you doing?”
Stacey’s voice startles me, and I jump to my feet. “Why the hell are you sneakin’ up on people?”
“And what are you doing staring at a photo of your ex on your wedding day?”
“I wasn’t starin’,” I say, closing the photo as fast as I can.
My sister puts her hands on her hips. “Does Chris know you have a photo of Kyle on your phone?”
“Yeah, of course he knows. I told him all about Kyle and how he fucked me over. I’m glad he’s out of my life.”
Stacey winces. “Yeah, because people always stare at photos of their ex if they’re glad they’re out of their life.” When I don’t answer, her expression softens. “Brendan, what is really going on? I thought you were over him?”
“Of course I’m over him.” I frown, trying to act incredulous. “We split up like fourteen years ago and I wouldn’t be gettin’ married if I wasn’t over him.”
Stacey raises her eyebrows, looking entirely unconvinced. “You married Tiffany when you were in love with Kyle.”
“That was fucking different, and you know it. I had no choice.” I immediately regret my tone, dropping my eyes to the floor.
“Calm down.” Stacey says, grabbing my shoulders to steady me. “Do you still have feelings for him?”
I exhale, deflated. “When I got outta prison someone told me Kyle was datin’ some older rich guy and livin’ in South Yarra. Apparently, he fucked his way to a better life and left his past behind. But that was years ago.”
“That’s not what I asked, my dear brother. Do you still have feelings for Kyle?”
“Stace, what are you tryin’ to do here? Are you tryin’ to ruin my weddin’ day? I’ve already had one fucked up weddin’ and I don’t wanna have another.” I turn away from her and stare out the window, sick of her scrutiny.
“Maybe I’m trying to stop you making a stupid mistake. When did denying your feelings for Kyle ever get you anywhere? Besides, it’s not fair to Chris. He might be a fragile flower, and a bit judgy, but I guess I don’t mind him.”
I turn and glare at my sister. “Stace, Kyle made his choice a long time ago. So none of this means shit. I love Chris and he makes me happy.”
“Even when you have to cover up your tatts and lie about your past?”
Chris’s cousin, Todd, opens the door and pokes his head in. “Hey Brendan, they’re ready for you.”
“Okay, thanks mate. I’ll be there in a minute.”
I wait for the door to close before looking back at Stacey. She means well and I love her, but she needs to back off. “It’s a small price to pay for happiness,” I say, putting an end to the conversation.