Chapter 16
Sixteen
“ S o, have you always been good with computers?”
From my place on the couch, I peer over the top of the book and watch River and Noah. She’s seated on his lap with her arms around his shoulders while he works on her laptop to sync it to the cell phone. He wears a big, cheesy smile with his arms on either side of her. Even if he needed her to move, I don’t think he would ask. He would just keep working around her if it made her happy.
It has been this way between them ever since we arrived back from Blythe two weeks ago. They were done downplaying their attraction to each other. River pulled me aside to ask if I would mind trading beds with Noah. I agreed and officially began my new rotation with Wes. We take turns sleeping on the top bunk and the couch in the study. The prime sleeping spot is away from the late-night giggles coming from the sofa bed.
I try to ignore River and Noah and focus on the paragraph I’ve read countless times in the last ten minutes, but it’s impossible. My ears perk up, listening to Noah answer River’s question.
“I’ve always liked electronics like video games and such. I didn’t really get into computers until I was a bit older. My friends were talking about fake IDs and how expensive it was to buy them. I figured it couldn’t be too difficult to replicate a piece of paper, so I researched it and gave it a shot. It turned out I was pretty good at it, so I started a little side business. The more I delved into computers and what they could do, the more I loved it.”
River laughs and rubs the top of his buzzed head. “How cute. You were a little entrepreneur.”
“Who knew criminal activity was adorable,” I grumble, pulling my legs out from beneath me and stretching them across the couch.
“Someone sounds jealous,” Aiden sings from the floor.
I glare down at him, but he can’t see me. His back is to the sofa, leaning against it as he plays a game on my old tablet. His health is steadily improving. He no longer coughs up blood and sleeps most of the day, but it will take time before he’s back to normal. He’s overexerted by simple tasks like climbing the stairs or standing for an extended period. Each day, he pushes himself a little further, but his recovery is a slow process.
I scoff. “Jealous of them? Please.”
Ryland sits on the opposite side of the couch from me, with one long leg crossed over the other and a book resting on his knee. He keeps his eyes glued to the pages and does a terrible job of hiding his smile.
“I’m not!” I say again.
“Of course not,” Ryland says, placing his hand on top of my foot to stop it from anxiously bouncing next to his hip.
River’s and Noah’s relationship isn’t the only one progressing. Ryland and I have fallen into a comfortable groove of our own. Of course, the bond between us is different from theirs. Ours is a growing friendship. When I sleep in the study, our interactions are tame. He remains on the floor and I stay on the couch. From our designated sleeping places, we stay up talking until we’re too tired to keep our eyes open. It reminds me of when River and I were kids, and we had friends spend the night—everyone laying on the floor and talking until the sun rose. It’s pretty much the same thing, except Ryland is gorgeous, and I find my thoughts occasionally drifting in a way they shouldn’t. I can positively say I’ve never felt the same inclinations for my childhood friends.
I sigh while dog-earing a page of my book and abandoning it to watch Noah and River dote over each other. The way they share secrets, sideways glances, and adoring smiles is impossible to ignore. Their relationship isn’t what has me frazzled, per se. I like Noah a lot, and he’s head over heels for my cousin. I don’t doubt the sincerity of his affections or that he would never intentionally harm her. I’m simply envious that he has occupied her time for the past weeks. I miss it being the two of us.
Setting his book on the coffee table, Ryland lifts my feet over his legs and scoots closer to me. With his arm draped over the back of the couch, he leans in and quietly says, “You were going to work in the greenhouse today. Why don’t you ask her to go with you? The two of you can get away from us for a bit.”
“You want me to pull that apart?” I say, waving my hand in their direction.
“Yes!” Ryland and Aiden say as one.
Ryland smiles at his friend before continuing. “I think a little break from us will do both of you some good. ”
“All right,” I say, playfully shoving Aiden’s head to the side as I get up from the couch. “Riv, do you want to help me out in the greenhouse?”
“Yeah, I’ll go with you,” she says before pressing a kiss to Noah’s cheek.
As we put on our jackets and strap on our weapons, I work to cast aside my jealousy. This is going to be the first time since the guys arrived that I’ll get some quality time with her that doesn’t consist of us locking ourselves in a bathroom. Between sharing chores with the guys and her taking care of Aiden, we haven’t found time for just the two of us. I don’t want to cloud this moment with resentment.
After taking a few calming breaths, I head out of the bunker with her. We walk side by side through the house until she stops shy of the front door and turns to me. Her gray eyes narrow, and her hands rest on her slim hips. “This little trip to the greenhouse isn’t going to result in you lecturing me, is it?”
I raise my hands and take a step back. “Whoa, where is this coming from?”
“Don’t think I didn’t notice you watching us like a hawk with the annoyed eyerolls and snarky remarks. If you have a problem with Noah and me, just say it, but don’t corner me so you can get all parental.”
River has always been tough and never has she been one to mince words. She’s unashamed when it comes to wearing her emotions for everyone to see. Her boldness is one of her many admirable traits.
“It’s not my intention to lecture you, and I don’t have an issue with you and Noah. I just wanted to spend some time alone. Even though I see you every day, I miss you,” I admit.
“So, you have no ulterior motives in inviting me to come with you? ”
I can’t be mad at her for not trusting me. In the past, I’ve nagged at her about everything from going outside without me to splurging when we should be rationing food. Too many times, I’ve tried to rule over her instead of being her friend. My intentions are always pure, but they’re not always right.
“No ulterior motives,” I promise.
“Then what’s up with all the snotty looks and comments?”
I shrug. “Jealousy, I guess. I’m not used to sharing your attention.”
“You said before that you weren’t jealous, but I knew you were.” Her features soften, and she pulls me into a tight hug. “That’s sweet. It’s stupid you haven’t said anything until now, but it’s sweet.”
I hug her back. “Sorry.”
“I am, too. I’m not trying to ignore you.”
“I know.”
Our sentimental moment comes to an end with the beat of heavy boots walking up from the basement. I look over my shoulder as Ryland appears from the kitchen. He has on his jacket and is holding a gun. He comes to a standstill and casually slips his weapon into the waistband of his pants with a sheepish look on his face.
“What are you doing?” I ask, still hanging on to my cousin.
“I’m—I was going to…” He points up the stairs. “I was just headed upstairs.”
There’s nothing up there for him. The only time any of us use the upper level is if we’re doing a security check on the property. Everything can be seen from there, the edge of the woods, Josh’s workshop, and the greenhouse.
The greenhouse .
He’s going to stand guard while we’re outside.
“We’ll wait for you to get in place before we walk out,” I say.
With bright red cheeks, he gives a quick nod and hurries up the stairs.
River looks at me with raised brows.
“What? It calms him to know everyone’s safe,” I say, opening the door.
“Uh-huh.” She steps past me with a smirk.
The inside of the greenhouse counters the sub-zero temperatures outside with its warmth and humidity. We discard our jackets and roll up our sleeves before taking the black aprons from the hooks by the door and slipping them on. A small workstation houses the tools we need to tend to the plants, and we each grab our favorites. Using the knowledge passed on to us by Amara, we jump into the task of caring for her beloved greenhouse.
As kids, we relished being in here, especially during the winter. We would make-believe it was a warm summer day, while inches of snow gathered on the ground outside. A small corner of the structure was given to us, and we grew our own tiny garden of flowers and vegetables. When we got tired of the tedious work of pruning and turning the soil, we chased each other up and down the aisles, laughing and screaming. Even with all of the fragile vegetation around, Amara never told us to settle down. Instead, she joined in on our fun, creating many unforgettable, happy memories with us.
After minutes of silence, River asks, “What exactly is the deal with you and Ry?”
I keep my eyes on the plant before me, clipping off its wilted leaves. “We’re friends.”
“You’re friends who spend every other night sleeping in the same room? ”
I glance at her and slowly reply, “Yes.”
“You’re friends who occasionally sit really close together on the couch and watch movies. The type who goes out of their way to make sure the other is safe crossing the yard?”
I stop and stare at her, but she pretends not to notice, continuing to tend to a tomato vine.
“Yes, we’re that kind of friends,” I say, not bothering to hide my annoyance.
The sibling rivalry that has always existed between us is ignited within me, and I seize the opportunity to return the favor. Just as a biological sister would do, I go for the kill, trying to embarrass her.
“So, did you and Noah do it on the sofa bed?”
The shears drop from her hand. She fumbles to pick them up, making a choking noise. When she finishes clearing her throat, she answers, “We haven’t done that yet.”
I’m a bit surprised since everything about their relationship has been fast paced. I wasn’t sure if they had sex in the bunker, but I was confident that their relationship had reached that level. It goes to show how I don’t know everything about the one person I’m the closest to. And maybe that’s my fault. I haven’t been the easiest to talk to when it comes to her and Noah.
River continues to explain. “We know you guys think we’re crazy for jumping into a relationship. What you all don’t know is that there are some things we want to build up to, and that’s one of them.”
I feel a little ashamed of my assumption. It seems she and Noah have put a lot of thought into how things should happen for them. It’s clear it’s not just lovesick stares and displays of affection. They’re trying to build something lasting, and I have a new respect for them.
“Please don’t take this the wrong way, but what happens to the two of you when they leave?” I ask.
“I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that, but I haven’t found the right time,” River says, setting down her gardening tool and removing her gloves. She walks over to the table behind me and clears a space before hoisting herself on top. Her long legs dangle from the edge, and she watches her feet while talking. “When were you going to tell me that Ry asked if we would leave with them?”
I pause and let her words sink in. I can’t avoid this conversation or give her a half-ass answer. This is important, and we need to talk about it before she decides without me. I turn around and lean back on the table with my arms crossed. “Who told you?”
She cocks an eyebrow like I’ve asked the world’s stupidest question. Of course, Noah told her because Ryland spoke to him.
“There’s nothing to talk about. We can’t leave.” I try to be gentle, knowing the decision affects her relationship.
“You’re going to make that call without first discussing it with me? I hardly think that’s fair,” she says, her voice rising with irritation.
I pull on each individual finger of my gloves until my hands are free. “Okay, discuss.”
“I think we should go.”
“Of course you do,” I say with a sigh.
“Would you please just listen? I know you think I want to go because of Noah, but that’s not the case. We’ve already spoken about it, and he said it’s my decision. He’s going to stay with me either way.”
I lose control over the muscles in my jaw, and it drops open. “He will stay here if we don’t go with them?”
Her eyes well up with tears, and her chin trembles. “ Yes. I told him that he needs to go home no matter what we choose to do, but he refuses. If I don’t go, he’s planning on staying with us.”
“River, we can’t go just because Noah won’t leave without you.”
She rolls her eyes, wiping away her tears. “I don’t want Noah to stay for me and give up his life in Giran, but it’s not why I want to go. I feel like we’re sitting here rotting away in this house. I don’t want to live the rest of my life like this, Quinn. I want a chance to live the kind of life I always pictured having.”
“At least we’re safe here,” I say, sweeping my hand in the air. “There’s no guarantee if we go that we’ll get across the border. What if we get all the way there and are sent away? And then what if Noah changes his mind and wants to leave with his friends? Can you stand to watch him walk away from you? It’ll be just you and me fending for ourselves while we try to get back here?”
She shakes her head. “I’m tired of playing it safe, and if Noah were to change his mind, then so be it. At least we tried and did something, other than sitting here in our safe little bubble.”
I run my hands over my face, fighting back the fear building inside of me. “We can’t take that risk. It’s too big.”
She jumps from the table and stands before me. Her shoulders square, eyes steadily holding mine, and her tone is firm with resolve. “You don’t get to make that call for me. It’s my life! I know you feel guilty about us being stuck here, but it’s not your fault. I stayed behind because I wanted to. I wanted one last summer with you just as badly as you wanted it with me.” She looks at the ceiling and humorlessly laughs. “I was as terrified as you were about leaving home and growing up, but staying here didn’t change that, did it? Here we are, adults, and now it’s time to go.”
She’s right. We’ve grown up and are stuck in the setting of our childhood as women. We have no choice in the matter, we’re changing whether we want to or not. Perhaps her words about staying behind with me for the summer have alleviated a fraction of my guilt, but it doesn’t mean that we should run into a situation that is almost sure to kill us.
“I just need some kind of guarantee that we'll be safe. When I think about leaving right now, all I can see is a hopeless situation. Maybe if the cell phone link works, we’ll be able to get the word out to someone who will promise to notify the Giran government. Or even if we come up with a better plan than just telling the border guards you’re married to Noah and lost your passport. We need something foolproof. If we have a solid plan, I’ll seriously think about it. But until then, I just can’t do it.”
River is always the optimist, even now. “Then we’ll have to find a way to get you what you need, because we’re going to go, Quinn.”
Her mind is made up, and I no longer have the desire to fight against what she wants. All I can do is pray that we find a way to make it happen.