Chapter 18
Eighteen
R yland and I sit together in silence after he vows to make River’s safety a priority over mine. It’s not an immediate fix for my broken trust, but it’s a soothing ointment that has us on the mend. I still feel conflicted about being left in the dark about the phone call and sympathizing with why everyone did it. Ryland was right when he said I would’ve put up a fight about the decision to call their friend’s mother. I’ve been solely focused on the well-being of my cousin and me for so long that it’s now integrated into every fiber of my being.
I’ve held tight to controlling what already feels like an unmanageable circumstance, and I’m not dealing well with being left in the dark. Even in the most dangerous of conflicts, I’ve not felt this hopeless since that day in the greenhouse when River told me she wanted us to leave with the guys. The phone call was our chance at simplifying an overly complicated plan to get to Oscuros and cross the intercontinental security checkpoint. Now, I’m left with nothing to help ensure we return to our family.
I may feel betrayed by Ryland, but I can never doubt his ability to look after those he cares about. He’s a loyal friend, and his dedication to them speaks volumes about his character. He doesn’t say something unless he plans on delivering, and in this case, he’s pledged to protect River. His oath has lessened my worry a fraction. It’s the best I can ask for now.
Groaning followed by the swift movement of feet yanks me from my thoughts. I leap up, threading my arms through the jacket Ryland placed around me and freeing my gun from the back of my pants. Ryland steps in front of me, but I place my arm out, holding him at my side. There’s no better time than now for him to start practicing self-restraint when it comes to defending me.
The movement comes from the pine trees lining the outer bank of the lake. The quiet surroundings make it difficult to figure whether we’re facing one Z or a horde. Every step echoes like it is a thousand. I carefully listen while scanning the area. The rustling of leaves from above and the popping of the expanding ice on the water has me on edge. My heart hammers in my chest, and my skin raises in goosebumps.
“We don’t know how many of them there are, so we can’t risk running through the woods,” I say. “If we stay here, we have a clear view of what is coming for us.”
“No matter what, we stay together,” Ryland replies.
I spare him a quick glance. “Keep the macho shit to a minimum, Ryland. You have a promise to fulfill.”
He shoots me a glare—a mixture of amusement and annoyance. I meet it with a cocked eyebrow.
Three Zs break through the line of trees and barrel at us. Their bodies are worn down from going without fresh food and feasting on each other. Tattered clothes hang from their deformed frames, and chunks of flesh have been ripped from their bodies, healing into angry red and purple scars. One’s arm swings wildly at its side as it sprints, but it does little to hinder the Z’s pursuit.
Standing side by side, we open fire. It’s not easy hitting three moving targets zigzagging down the rocky shore. They stumble, but quickly recover, bobbing up and down as they go. When I get one in my line of sight, it manages to duck out of the way, wailing as a poorly aimed bullet collides with a nonlethal part of its body. The closer they get, the tighter my grip becomes on my gun. My palms sweat, making the metal slippery in my hold.
Ryland is the first to make a kill, blowing a hole into a Z’s heart. It tumbles to the ground and the others only seem to cast it a quick look like they are logging it to memory as an easy meal after they’re done with us.
I take the stance my uncle taught me and concentrate on hitting a precise mark. Looking down the barrel of my gun, I aim at a Z’s head. The first bullet grazes the side of its face, ripping away the pasty flesh on its cheek. I quickly recover and release another shot this time to its forehead. It falls to the ground, nothing more than a lifeless sack of skin and bones. I turn my attention to the remaining Z and shower it with bullets along with Ryland. It’s within arm’s reach when the death blow is given, and it crashes at our feet.
With the last Z dead, I slide behind Ryland, pressing my back against his and survey the bank of the lake. I work to steady my breathing, each large gulp of chilled air burning my lungs. Using the seconds of silence to let the pain subside, I listen for any sign that we’re still being hunted.
“It’s now or never, love,” he says, and I nod.
We’re going to have to run through the thick forest which will provide us with little to no visibility. The Zs will hold the advantage with their pinpoint hearing and impeccable sense of smell. Thankfully, I’ve always been on the winning side, and today will be no different.
“Are you going to actually let me lead the way?” I ask.
Ryland smiles over his shoulder. “I’m working on suppressing my chauvinistic habits, aren’t I?”
Rolling my eyes, I say, “Stay close and watch your footing.”
I run into the snow-covered foliage with Ryland on my heels, mimicking each of my movements. I bound over obstacles and keep focused on my surroundings, anticipating an attack before it happens. As I bolt through the woods, my neck whips back and forth, scanning for movement in the shrubs. Every muscle in my body is tightly wound and ready to change course at a second’s notice.
The immediate loss of warmth at my back is followed by the horrifying sound of animalistic grunts and the wrestling of bodies. I turn to check on Ryland and find he’s no longer behind me but lying on the ground with a Z on top of him. A female sits straddling his hips. Her brunette hair is matted with pine needles, and the checkered blouse she wears is missing buttons, exposing her bra. Ryland presses his gloved hand to her face, fighting to keep her unnaturally long, sharp teeth away from his flesh. She’s like a rabid animal, but instead of foaming at the mouth, long strings of green mucus-filled saliva stream from her lips. She calls out in a shriek, struggling to get her teeth into him while her long claw-like nails hold him in place.
Ryland’s loaded gun lays in the snow outside of his reach, so he throws sharp punches to the side of her head. Each hit does little to discourage her. There’s no fear in his eyes, just pure determination to win even if the odds are highly stacked against him.
I leap into the scuffle and grab a fistful of her hair, yanking her face away from him. She turns to the side and snaps her teeth centimeters from my hand. I curl my fingers into a fist and drive it into her temple.
“I’m. Not. Your. Snack,” I emphasize each word with a punch to the head.
She shoves me to the ground, and her disgustingly long fingernails pierce my shoulders, holding me under her. I buck up and down to shake her off, but she won’t budge. She closes in with her teeth poised to sink into the middle of my face. Rancid smelling saliva strings across my cheek and her hot breath saturates my airway. I’m on the verge of vomiting as I await the sting of her bite.
A shadow moves over us, and I raise my eyes to meet Ryland’s cold stare. He aims his gun at the side of her head and fires. The sound of the single gunshot ricochets through the trees, and the decaying body on top of me is kicked away before it can pin me down.
Between heavy breaths, Ryland says, “I hate Zs.”
With the back of my sleeve, I wipe the spit and blood from my face and look up at him with a smirk. “So much for not pulling any macho bullshit.”
“I think it is more like survival bullshit,” he says, holding his hand out to me and pulling me to my feet.
A bit wobbly on my legs, I brace myself against his chest as I regain my wits. His arm wraps around my waist, holding me to him as he says, “Also, saving you is what I do best.”
The lopsided grin that his lips form is amazingly sexy. If it was any other day, I would have caved. There’s no argument that we’re good together, not only as a Z- fighting team, but as more . But it’s not any other day, and we can’t be more . No amount of racing heartbeats and butterflies in my stomach will change that. It doesn’t matter how my lips ache to feel his or that my entire body tingles pressed against his chest. I can’t be any more important to him than I already am.
I’ll save his life a hundred times over and never think twice about it. My world would become an unbearable place without him in it. No Z, no human, not one damn thing will keep me from fighting for him, but I’ll never be able to admit it out loud until my first mission to my family is complete. I can’t afford to cloud our emotions further. We must stay focused on saving the others.
Letting go of him, I step out of his embrace. “We need to get out of here.”
A flash of hurt darkens his eyes as he recognizes my dismissal for what it is—a resounding call for distance.
Without another word, he follows me out of the trees.
We approach the house where Aiden, Noah, and River are lined up on the patio while Wes has taken guard on the second-floor balcony.
“How many were there?” Aiden asks.
“Four. Did you see any?” Ryland replies .
Noah searches the landscape. “No, we heard your gunshots.”
“We’ll have to patrol tonight. It’s too dangerous to pick up the dead and burn them,” Ryland says.
“Don’t worry, I’ve got the first shift. I’m ready to kick some Z ass,” Aiden says, clapping his hands together.
Ryland sighs and we share a glance. At least one of us is looking forward to guard duty.
Later that night, I sit in the high-back chair in my aunt and uncle’s room. With my gun at my side, I keep guard over the land around my home. The house is pitch-black and hauntingly quiet except for the steps Noah takes as he wanders through on foot-patrol. So far, we’ve had an uneventful evening. The four Zs are turning out to be nothing more than a fluke. But we’re better off safe than sorry.
I take advantage of the time alone to calm my mind. For hours, I’ve been immersed in thoughts of River and the guys’ betrayal. I don’t want to waste my time being upset with River, and the friendships I’ve built with the four men meant something to me when I woke up this morning. I can’t just throw it away. These five people have been the reason for every burst of laughter and happy moment I’ve had since the Affliction. They can’t be discarded, and I can’t pretend they no longer hold value.
I shift in my chair and sigh, running my hands over my face. I’m in major need of a mental reprieve. I wish the logical part of my brain would malfunction and flip to white noise. I could go for a peaceful hum while I stare blankly at a wall.
“Can I talk to you for a second?”
I turn to the doorway to find Noah waiting for permission to enter the room. His clothes and hair are rumpled, and he appears uncertain of himself. Like everyone else, his interactions with me this evening have been numbered. I’ve not exactly held out an olive branch with an offering to make amends. I need tonight to come to terms with things, to sleep on it and start anew in the morning. Noah apparently has other plans.
“What’s up?” I ask, returning to looking out the windows.
He walks into the room and stops by my side. There’s worry written on his face; the likes of which I’ve not seen since I first found him and Wes huddled around Aiden in the study. He takes a couple of deep breaths and says, “I want to apologize for today. It was wrong of us not to let you know what was going on.”
I cross my arms and ankles, leaning back in the chair. “You guys did what you had to do.” I’m not going to let myself get worked up about this again. What’s done is done.
“It doesn’t make it right.”
“No, it doesn’t,” I agree.
He slides his gun into the back of his pants and stuffs his hands into his pockets. “I know you felt like the call was your only chance of getting you and River to safety, but it’s not. I won’t leave her, Quinn.”
I’m sure he believes what he’s telling me with every fiber of his being, but the realist in me rears its ugly head. “You say that now, but what happens when we get to Oscuros, and you get to pass, and she doesn’t? Are you really going to sacrifice a chance to go home to your family for her?”
He squares his shoulders and closes his eyes for a moment. “I understand everyone is skeptical of my affections for her. One month doesn’t seem long, but it has been enough time for me to know I love her. I resent every second I’m asleep; they’re priceless intervals of time I could spend learning more about who she is. Every word she says I cling to, and each of her touches are filed away as cherished memories.” He drops his head and looks at his shoes. “It sounds wild and obsessive, and maybe it is, but I want her to devour every single nanosecond of my time.”
He glances up at me, and I find myself smiling back. This is the type of man who deserves the love of my cousin. It’s not about his beautifully spoken words. His whole being radiates with his adoration for her. There’s nothing for me to question. He wears his love for River like a second skin.
His posture straightens as he says, “It’s not just her, I care about you too, Quinn. You’re her family and best friend. I won’t leave you alone to watch after her.”
I shake my head. “I’m freaking out about leaving. I wish there was a sure way to get at least her across the border. If I had that, then I could handle the rest.”
“Hopefully, telling the border guard we’re married will work.”
I lean forward in my chair and rest my chin on my hands. “I think we need something more substantial. If it were as easy as saying you’re married, more people would’ve made it out of here.”
He looks at the ceiling like it holds the answer. “We could break into a government building before we leave and forge marriage licenses.”
His last statement resonates with me and sparks an idea. I fan it and allow it to grow and gain momentum. I test it against one opposition after another until I’m sure it’s almost foolproof. With the details worked out, I ask, “How sorry are you for what went down today?”
He slowly says, “I’m really sorry.”
I grin knowing I’ve roped Noah into helping me execute the next best thing to a guarantee. “Well, if you really want to make it up to me, I have an idea.”