Chapter 6 TruthDare #3
He handed me the cigarette he’d just lit and pulled me to my feet, pushing me against a shelf and resting his hands on either side of my hips.
He got on his knees. People started giggling and making obscene comments I tried not to listen to.
Letting a stranger do this had been one thing, but knowing Jack was about to touch me in that way drove me into a panic.
Of course, he’d done it lots of times before.
But this time, I wasn’t sure he’d be so gentle—I wasn’t sure that gentle guy was even still there—and I was scared.
I leaned my head back as I felt him tug my skirt down to expose my tattoo and deposit his first kiss there.
His mouth was hot as it trailed up my abdomen and then between my breasts.
He kissed my clavicle, licked the hollow of my neck.
It felt raw, almost aggressive, and when he was done, he took back his cigarette and sat back down without looking at me.
You’d have thought he’d felt nothing at all.
He was calm, almost apathetic, as I turned red, bent over, and rested my hands on my knees.
“I don’t know about you guys, but I’ve sure got a boner now,” Eric said, getting a laugh out of everyone except Jack and me.
I was worried about what would come next, and I hoped the group would turn its attention to someone else.
But I wouldn’t get that lucky. We went around in the circle, everyone asked stupid questions or proposed stupid dares, and when I was up again, I said truth.
But Eric knew how to get what he wanted, and he asked me a question so embarrassing, so personal, that I had to say, “Never mind, dare.”
With a smile, he told me to do the same as Jack had done to me, but instead of finishing at his neck, I’d have to kiss him on the mouth, too. Everyone cheered except Jack, who hung his head in exasperation.
“No,” I said.
“We can go back to truth,” Finn responded.
“Fine, I’ll do it, but it has to be like before,” I suggested, “I’ll go up to the neck, but I won’t kiss him on the lips.”
“What’s the deal?” Finn asked. “Don’t tell me you don’t want to! Poor Ross, I know he’s an ugly bastard, but he’s a good guy, he deserves a real kiss! Don’t be a chicken.”
“It’s not that,” I said.
“She’s scared she’ll like it.” This phrase came from Jack, who was rolling his eyes.
So that’s how it is… I wasn’t going to let anyone put me down like that.
I stood and turned to him, knowing he was manipulating me, knowing that he loved provoking me, but unable to stop taking the bait.
I don’t think he thought it would work, but there I was in front him, and neither of us could turn back.
He was sitting on the floor, and I grabbed his knees, kneeled down, listened to all the filthy comments everybody was making, tried not to let them get to me.
Jack ignored everyone, too. He looked at me in shock, maybe with desire, and when our eyes met, he pursed his lips, trying to pretend he wasn’t nervous.
“What are you trying to prove?” he asked.
“Shut up and let me do my dare.”
“So you do want me,” he said.
Was he sincere? Was he putting me down? I didn’t know and didn’t care. Nervous, I planted my first kiss just above the button of his jeans. He tensed beneath my lips and opened his legs to accommodate me. I gripped his legs tight as I rose up his abdomen.
I was less aggressive than he’d been, but that didn’t stop him from reacting.
He was still, but I could sense how he was throbbing inside.
He didn’t say anything cruel, didn’t try to put me down; he just stood still, quivering slightly.
I could feel his heart racing as his chest rose and fell.
Mine was, too, as I reached his neck. His Adam’s apple rose as I kissed it.
The stubble on his cheeks poked my lips.
I looked him dead in the eyes, ready for that last kiss.
My mouth was open, our tongues ready to touch, and at the very last moment, I planted a finger in the middle of his forehead and pushed him against the wall.
He blinked, baffled, as I murmured, “You wish,” and sat back down.
People whistled and cheered, and I tried to ignore it.
I had wanted to show him I could stand up to him, but I didn’t want to see him hurt or frustrated.
The catcalling and laughter ceased. The feeling in the room was unpleasant.
I hadn’t drunk that much, but I was feeling confused and woozy, and Jack was high as a kite.
I could tell by the way he moved, his clumsiness when he grabbed at his drinks or his cigarettes, his glassy eyes when he was supposed to be paying attention.
When it was my turn again, I opted for truth, because who knew what they’d ask me to do next.
Eric asked me, “Do you have a crush on someone?” and I almost blurted out Jack’s name.
Get a hold of yourself, I thought. But then I saw him staring at me intensely and thought it was time to take the lid off the charade.
“I do,” I said. “I’m in love with a complete idiot. ”
Jack slammed his glass down on the table, getting everyone’s attention just before he stood and walked out, slamming the door.
What the…? Maybe I’d overstepped a line a little bit, but was it really that bad?
Was it too direct? Too soon? I wasn’t sure, but I knew I had to follow him, no matter what the other people thought, no matter how much they kept shouting for me to come back and keep playing.
I could almost see the fire in Jack’s eyes as he pushed his way through the crowd. Many of the partygoers stopped and stared. They could tell that there was a problem. Worst of all, Lana was there watching us with morbid curiosity.
“I’m sorry,” I called out to Jack. “I went too far. Hey!” I grabbed his arm. He turned, an expression of pure hatred in his eyes.
Hysterical, he yelled out, “What the hell do you want? And why are you stopping me? Can you not tell I don’t want to be around you? Can’t you give me five goddamn seconds of peace?”
OK, that was a bit much. I knew I had intentionally baited him, but part of it was because, pathetic as it was, I thought if I told the truth maybe we could actually make some progress with each other.
He continued, “Were you honestly not aware of what you were doing to me in there? Did you wake up today and think, you know what, I’ll go find Ross and kiss another guy in front of him and see if I can drive him even further out of his mind! ”
“What do you care if I kiss someone? What do you care if I kiss every guy in there? I mean, you don’t want me, that much is obvious, so why should I have to explain myself to you?”
“Just go!” he shouted. “Go back and play your stupid truth or dare, I’m sure they have some super-cool idea for what you can do next!”
“Should I remind you that you’re the one who stood up and decided you were going to kiss me?” I asked.
“And? What? You wanted Finn to do it instead? How would you feel if there was some girl in there who was going to kiss me?”
“How would you feel,” I responded, “if you had to stand there and watch me taking drugs and destroying my life and there wasn’t a damn thing you could do about it?”
That cut close to the bone, but I didn’t care, and I didn’t regret it. And he knew I was right—that was why his face went blank and all that rage drained out of him. “I can do what I want,” he murmured.
“Fine. You do that,” I said, turning around. Will, Naya, and Sue were there. I guess Lana had gone to get them. “Let’s go,” I told Will, then looking at Jack, I said, “Enjoy the rest of your night.”
“Are you serious?” he shouted as I passed him. “You’re actually just going to leave?”
“What the hell am I supposed to do?”
“Stay here with me. I’ll take you home later.”
“You’ve got to be kidding,” I replied. “I doubt you could even get the car in gear in your condition.”
“Do you have to criticize literally every single thing I ever do?”
“No, but I’m also not going to let you kill us both! Jesus! If I’d known you were going to blow up like this, I never would have let you kiss me again.”
I hadn’t thought about the consequences those words would have on him or me, or how our friends, who were watching us, would take them.
I don’t know why I kept thinking that hurting him would bring him closer…
or did I want to push him away so I could stop thinking about him?
He shouted something about how I could go back and make out with those other guys if that was what I wanted, and I told him maybe I would, that at least they knew how to have a good time.
Naya interrupted us, saying, “Come on, you two,” but neither of us listened to her.
“Here’s an idea,” Jack said, “since apparently I bother you so much. How about you pack your goddamn bags and get the hell out of my apartment!”
“I will!” I shouted. “Half my stuff is still in my suitcase, because I knew something like this would happen. There was no way you were ever going to be mature enough to deal with this situation.”
“How am I supposed to deal with it? You do realize you’re the one who just abandoned me one day. And now I’m just supposed to forget that after a whole year of suffering and act like everything’s perfect?”
“Whatever!” I said. “I’ll be out of your life soon, and then you won’t have me to blame for your problems anymore.”
He stopped, panting from so much screaming, then started in on me again: “Sounds great! Go find yourself a place where you can bring home all the dudes you want.”
“Sorry, Jack. That may be how you cope with things, but that’s not who I am.”
“You have no fucking idea how I do or don’t cope with things.”
“Screw this,” Sue interrupted us. “I’m not going to sit here and watch two babies scream at each other all night. Will, either we can go now or I’m catching an Uber.”