Chapter 21 Jay and Ellie #2
“Why don’t you go sleep with Sue?” I recommended.
We both knew that wasn’t going to happen, though, and I wasn’t surprised when Mike tried to convince me to go in and wake her.
It was true Chris was snoring loudly. With the door open, we could hear him in our bedroom.
After a moment’s discussion, Jack told him he could sleep on the floor, and Mike lay down, bundling up under a tiny blanket that barely covered his feet.
As we could have guessed, it only took him a moment to start complaining.
I looked at the ceiling and tried to tell myself this wasn’t happening.
After hearing Mike turn around and curse for the third or fourth time, Jack said, “For God’s sake, just come up here,” and Mike jumped between us.
They immediately started bickering again, and I almost shouted, “Can we just try and get some sleep?”
But obviously, Mike couldn’t let the night end without another one of his stupid jokes. “What’s it like, finally being in bed with the handsome brother?” he asked.
“It’s terrible,” I responded. Mike kept trying to talk until Jack issued a few death threats. Then, despite his complaints that he wasn’t tired, he started snoring. By now, I suspected I’d be awake till morning. Jack sighed and covered his ears.
“What did I do to deserve this?” he asked.
I shushed him and he grumbled, “What? Are you afraid I’ll wake the six-foot baby resting beside us? This idiot has ruined my night.”
“We’ll have lots of nights together, Jack.”
“Not enough, if you ask me.” That got a smile out of him, and we each turned on our side and tried in vain to get some rest.
“Uuuuuggghhh!!!”
I looked up from my cell phone at Naya. She was lying on the sofa with outstretched arms. Mike ignored her, focusing on changing the channel. Seeing that no one would come to her aid, Naya tried again: “Uuuuuugggghhh!”
“What is it?” I asked her.
“Finally, somebody’s taking pity on me,” she said.
“For what?” Mike butted in.
“I need help getting up! I’ve got to go pee!”
Mike grimaced. “How many times a day to you have to pee? I swear, it’s every five minutes.”
“I’m peeing for two, have a little respect,” she said.
I knew Mike wouldn’t lift a finger, so I stood, gave her my hands, and waited for her to drag herself up and stomp to the bathroom. When the door closed behind her, I sat back down. “Mike,” I said, “why don’t you ever leave a show on for more than five seconds?”
“There’s nothing good on.”
“We could watch a movie. I could text Jack and ask him for a recommendation.”
Mike sighed and said, “He’s in Holland, leave him alone.
” Mike was acting crabby again, the same way he’d been when Jack and I had gotten back from Greece.
Everything anyone said seemed to get on his nerves.
I’d had it, and I decided today was the day to grab the bull by the horns.
I snatched the remote from his hand and turned off the TV.
“I’ve had enough of this, Mike. I need you to tell me what in the hell’s going on with you! Why does every little thing I do or say piss you off? Did I do something to you?”
“No…”
I sensed some doubt in his voice and scooted over closer to him. “Is it the band thing again?”
“No.”
“Then what?”
“It’s complicated,” Mike said.
I was frustrated, but I took for granted that once again, my efforts at talking had failed.
And despite my irritation, I decided to be understanding.
“OK, man. Well, if and when you want to be honest with me, I’m here.
But for now, try not to treat everyone else like dirt. We’re all going through things.”
He frowned. “I don’t mean to treat you badly. I like you a lot.”
“I like you, too, Mike. We’ve been through a lot together.” I reached over and grabbed his hand. “And whatever you need, you know you can count on me.”
I smiled at him. But instead of smiling back, he lurched forward and kissed me on the lips.
It caught me so off guard that my brain needed a few seconds to register what had happened.
First I froze, then I jumped back as if I’d just stuck my finger in a light socket.
Mike jerked away too as I shouted, “What the hell are you doing?”
I tried to figure out what to say, but I didn’t have much time, because Naya shouted, and we looked over to find her with her hand over her mouth and the hem of her skirt soaking wet. Mike asked, “Did you just piss yourself?”
Naya shook her head and said, “Sorry for the drama, guys…but I think my water just broke.”
None of us knew what to do. We were probably the three least responsible people in the house. I shouted Will’s name and took off running for his bedroom. He jumped out of bed and shouted that he was asleep. “Come quick!” I told him. “Naya’s water broke!”
That got him moving in record time. Before I knew it, he had on a shirt, pants, and shoes, and had slung over his shoulder the two bags he kept packed for emergencies. He got on one side of Naya, and Mike got on the other. Will grabbed the keys, and the two of them walked her to the door.
“Are you OK to drive?” I asked. Will looked frantic, but Sue was gone, and I doubted he wanted Mike or me behind the wheel of his car.
Just then, the door opened, and we all turned to Jack, who rolled in his suitcase and announced, “Guess who decided to come home early?”
I can’t imagine what he thought when he saw the state we were in, but he soon understood the situation. He dropped his suitcase by the door and grabbed his keys.
“Get your car and wait for us downstairs!” Will shouted.
Jack didn’t need to be told twice. He rushed away while I hit the elevator button about a hundred times in a row. Naya was already hyperventilating, saying, “Oh God… Oh God… I can’t believe a baby’s going to come out of me… What if it can’t get out?”
“Everything’s fine, Naya,” I said, smoothing down her hair.
“It’s not! There’s no way it’ll fit! It’s going to get stuck!”
“It won’t,” Mike said, patting her on the arm. “You’ll see, it’ll be totally smooth.”
“Shut up, Mike!” Naya shouted. “Don’t think I didn’t see what you did!”
Will looked at us, confused, before we all crowded into the elevator. Naya screamed as I hit the button for the first floor. With his usual impeccable sense of timing, Mike started defending himself, saying, “It’s not what it looked like, OK, Naya? I can explain.”
Will warned him, “Mike, I don’t know what you did, but this isn’t your moment. Shut up and give me a hand.”
I had been staring at the ground the whole time, but when I felt the cool air rush in, I started rubbing Naya’s back.
Jack was already downstairs waiting for us, and he helped Naya into the car.
Will, Mike, and I piled into the back seat, and Jack took off like a race car driver.
For once I was fine with it, and I told him, “I never thought I’d be thankful for your reckless driving, but good job. ”
“Shit, shit, shit shit!” Naya screamed from the front seat.
“Don’t curse in front of the kid!” Will said.
“The kid can’t hear me! And I feel like I’m getting ripped in half!” Naya shouted. “It hurts! I’m dying.”
Will rubbed her shoulders and said, “Mike, get your phone out and time the contractions.”
Mike objected, “I don’t know what a contraction is.”
“Jesus, you idiot,” I said, getting my own phone out and tracking them as best I could.
It only took us ten minutes to get to the hospital, but there were two in that time, which I was pretty sure meant this was serious.
Jack screeched to a halt at the intake area, and Will and Mike struggled to get Naya out.
I rode with Jack into the parking deck, and when we’d parked, we took off running.
The women in reception sensed who we were with and pointed down a hallway, and soon we found everyone in one of the patient rooms.
Naya had already changed into a hospital gown and was lying on a stretcher.
Her chest was rising and falling quickly, and her face and neck were bright red.
Mike was holding one of her hands, and she was twisting his fingers mercilessly.
Every few seconds, she would shout, and Mike’s eyes would open wide with fright.
Will, in a panic, was pacing back and forth.
“Jenna, come here!” Naya called to me. “I need you!”
Will hurried over too, but she turned away from him, saying, “Not you. You’re the one who did this to me! No, I’m sorry, babe, I didn’t mean that, it’s just…”
She couldn’t talk more because tears filled her eyes, and she looked at him lovingly for a moment before pain overtook her face.
“I’m dying!” she said. “And that stupid doctor said he can’t do anything till my contractions start coming every two minutes. This is horrible! I’ve changed my mind! I don’t want to be a mother! Can’t they just take it out now?!”
“Babe,” Will told her calmly, “I know it hurts, but you’re doing great, everything’s going fine. You’re not dilated enough yet, and we have to wait.”
Jack asked, “Does it really hurt that bad?” Naya responded by unleashing a string of curses that reminded me of the girl in The Exorcist, and, worried that she’d kill him if he said something else stupid, I dragged him out of the room, saying, “Let’s grab something to drink.”
Jack didn’t put up much resistance. As I slid a dollar into the drink machine, he complained, “In my defense, Jen, this isn’t the welcome I had hoped for.”
“What were you hoping for?”
“You in your birthday suit, maybe.”
I tried to elbow him, but he ducked me and grabbed the bottle of water that shot out of the machine.
“You could try to be a little more romantic,” I told him.
“I can be romantic in a couple of days. Right now, I’m dealing with primal urges.”
Him talking about sex reminded me of what had happened just before we left the apartment.
I wasn’t sure whether or not to tell him.
His reaction would be like a bomb going off.
Maybe it was better to wait? As I wavered, Will walked over, grabbed the bottle of water from Jack, and said, “Get two or three more of those.”
We did as he said and went back to Naya’s room, where we waited until the nurses kicked us out.
After that, all of us but Will lingered out in the hall—as the father, he must have had special permission to be inside.
Chris showed up half an hour later with his parents, and last of all came Sue and Lana, who looked furious to be running into each other. Some welcoming committee, I thought.
Waiting for a baby to be born was a new experience for me.
With my sister, they induced labor, and in an hour, Owen was out.
For that matter, this was the first time any of my friends had been pregnant.
I was nervous, and it felt like the ordeal would never end.
Jack and I passed the time coming up with names.
“I think Kim is awful on its own,” I told him. “And the thought that she likes it because of Kim Kardashian just makes me want to pull my hair out.”
“She could call her Kylie, after Kylie Jenner,” Jack said.
“Shut up,” I told him.
“Maybe it’ll be a boy anyway,” he said. “If so, I like Jeremy.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. It’s not too long and not too short. It’s not common, but it’s also not weird. It’s just right in the middle.”
“So you’re saying you want mediocre kids,” I ribbed him.
“Easy there, Michelle. We’re talking about a kid, not kids.”
We talked over a few others: Elizabeth, which I thought was elegant and Jack thought was boring; John, which was pointless, because it was the most common name in English; Jay and Ellie, which were the two we agreed on, leading Jack to say, “We should get to work, then. Little Jay and Ellie aren’t going to make themselves! ”
The conversation started getting dull, and we examined Naya’s and Will’s families, who were acting like they’d be struck by lightning if they so much as looked at each other.
Chris noticed the awkwardness and tried to start a conversation, but it didn’t go anywhere.
Jack whispered in my ear that both sets of parents were divorced. I guess that was part of the problem.
I had almost fallen asleep when Will finally opened the door. He was smiling, and I breathed a sigh of relief.
“We did it!” he said. “They’re resting, but everything was smooth. The baby’s healthy, and Naya’s doing great, too.”
“What is it?” Naya’s mother shouted.
“A little girl,” Will shouted. “I hope all of you are ready to meet Jane.”