Chapter 22 New Roommate
New Roommate
Jack huffed and puffed and beat the pillow with his fist.
“For the love of God, don’t they make muzzles for babies?” he asked.
I tried not to laugh. I was as tired as he was, but my attitude was a little more realistic.
Naya had brought Jane home a month ago now, and ever since, our nights had been filled with the baby’s wailing.
She cried like clockwork starting at eleven each night, and not what you’d call softly.
She made sure everyone knew something was wrong, and nothing anyone did ever calmed her down.
I heard Will’s footsteps in the living room. He was walking her back and forth and rocking her, which irritated Mike, and when they started arguing, that only made the whole thing worse.
“She cries all night and sleeps all day,” I murmured. “She doesn’t have a regular biological clock yet. It’ll get better with time.”
“I think she’s doing it on purpose,” Jack said. “I think she’s an evil baby and she’s been sent here to drive us all insane. Probably all babies are that way, like mogwais, cute at first, but then you turn your back and they become gremlins.”
How sweet.
“What about little Jay and Ellie?” I asked.
“I’ve changed my mind. We’re doing great now. Why mess with success? Let’s leave the kids to other people.”
I laughed until I heard Jane squealing again. “Dammit,” Jack said and jumped out of bed.
“Jack, it’s not the baby’s fault,” I said as he reached the door.
“I know. I’ll take it out on her parents.”
I had no choice but to follow him out. Will was sitting down in the bedroom cradling Jane in one arm while she wailed. Sue was pacing back and forth. On the sofa, Mike had his eyes closed and was trying to pretend none of this was happening.
“What’s up with her?” Jack asked.
“Do you not think I’d have tried to fix it if I knew?” Will replied slowly.
“She hates us,” Mike groaned. “That’s what it is.”
I asked where Naya was, and Will responded almost bitterly that she was sleeping. Unsurprisingly, a neighbor soon knocked on the door. Ten times this month, someone had come to complain. I understood their frustration, but I don’t know what they expected us to do. Soundproof the whole apartment?
Ordinarily, I opened the door to talk to them.
I always tried to be calm, explain the situation, and apologize, and it usually worked, though the angry guy upstairs was a pretty tough customer.
The main thing was to keep Sue away from the door, because letting her get past you, you ran the risk of a charge for accessory to murder.
I got in front of Jack before he could go unload his rage on someone. Of course, it was the guy from upstairs. He had a nasty expression on his face, and I feared I wouldn’t get rid of him as easily as usual.
“Good evening,” I said.
“You want to tell me what in the hell’s going on with that kid?”
“We’re trying to calm her down,” I said, as always.
“Well, it’s not working, so try something else!”
Before I could respond, Jack’s hand came from behind me and rested on the doorframe just over my head, making a loud slapping sound that got my attention as well as the neighbor’s. As the neighbor narrowed his eyes, Jack hissed, “Back to piss and moan some more?”
The neighbor was standing uncomfortably close, with his finger extended and a scowl on his face. “That kid won’t stop crying,” he said.
“Well, thanks for telling us, we had no idea,” Jack replied.
“It’s annoying.”
“You’re annoying.”
“If it’s not parties, it’s an argument. If it’s not an argument, it’s somebody having sex. If it’s not that, it’s this damn baby. You’re making it impossible to live here.”
“Then move,” Jack told him. “Or buy a pair of earplugs.”
“You can’t stand here and tell me you think this is normal,” the neighbor objected.
“How about this,” Jack said. “I’ve got a solution that will work for all of us. At the end of the hall, there’s a window with access to the fire escape. You can climb up on the roof, throw yourself off, and make everyone’s day. No more crying baby for you, no more bitching neighbor for us.”
He slammed the door in the man’s face.
“Jack!” I reprimanded him. “I don’t know if you should have said that. That guy looks like he could be violent.”
“I’ll get violent with him if he comes back here one more time. I’m tired of his bullshit. It’s hard enough dealing with people’s attitudes inside this apartment without having someone I don’t even know coming to me to complain.”
Poor Will. When we walked back, I noticed the deep bags under his eyes. He looked like he could fall asleep on his feet. In despair, he looked over at Mike and asked, “Dude, can you hold her a minute?”
Mike was scared of the baby, but he didn’t have any other option, so he took her, hands shaking, and held her against his chest. Miraculously, silence ensued. She had stopped crying. Everyone was shocked, Will most of all.
“Mike, you’re amazing!” Sue said.
Jack waved me back to the bedroom. “Come on, fast, let’s go to sleep.”
Mike whispered, on the verge of panic, “Don’t leave me here! I don’t know what to do!”
“He’ll help you,” Sue said maliciously, pointing to Will, who was on the couch and had already fallen asleep. “Have fun babysitting!”
I saw the look of horror on his face as Jack shut the door carefully, lay down on his stomach, and closed his eyes, leaving me nowhere to squeeze in.
“Jack, make some space for me,” I said.
“No. Just sleep on top of me.”
“You asked for it,” I mumbled and flopped down on his back. He grunted from discomfort but was too lazy to move. After a moment, I added, “There’s no way you can actually sleep like this.”
“I can, though. I’m doing it.”
“Liar. You’re talking to me.”
“I’m sleeptalking.”
“Yeah, you’re an idiot, too,” I said.
“I never told you otherwise.”
I started bouncing up and down, shaking him. The thing with the neighbor had gotten my blood pumping, and I wasn’t tired anymore. “Get up,” I told him. “I want to talk. I don’t think I can fall asleep yet.”
“Listen, Jen,” he said wearily, “I got on my knees at Christmas time, I asked you to marry me and you laughed at me, and that means the for better and for worse clause in our vows isn’t active yet. So seriously, much as I love you, you’re killing me. Just let me sleep.”
“Fine. Give me some space then.”
“Whatever.” Jack rolled onto his side, and I climbed between the sheets. He looked so cute there with his eyes closed, his lips fluttering when he breathed out. I covered him with a blanket and tried to go to sleep myself.
Naya had turned into a zombie. She wandered around the apartment in a pink robe, her hair poking out in all directions, her eyes surrounded by worrisome black circles. She usually had the baby in one hand and a bottle or toy in the other.
There were days when I offered to take care of Jane so she could go out for a little bit, but I couldn’t always deal with her.
School was taking up tons of time, in class, in my workshops, and when I had to study.
And when I needed to relax, I preferred to do it by calling Spencer or Shannon or drawing, not by changing a baby’s diapers.
Still, there were days when I felt so bad for Naya. Like one afternoon when I’d gotten home early and taken a long hot shower, and I came out to find her passed out on the couch with Will—asleep, they looked like the perfect couple—while Jane stared back and forth between Sue, Mike, and the TV.
“There she is,” Sue said when I emerged. “Superaunt. I’ll bet you’ll be popping out a baby of your own pretty soon.”
“Not funny, Sue,” I replied.
“I’m not kidding,” she said.
That was one of those moments when ordinarily, Mike would have cracked a joke, but all that was over ever since he’d kissed me.
I hadn’t told Jack about it. I was pretty sure I should, but it was long ago enough now that I didn’t know how to bring it up.
And at a certain point, I think I just decided it was dead and buried.
I had expected Mike to apologize, but unsurprisingly, he never did. Instead, there was just distance. No more pervy comments, no uncomfortably long hugs. In fact, he barely looked at me. It was better in a way, but I also didn’t like the weirdness that had settled in between us.
Will jolted awake, looked around until he saw his two girls, then smiled and relaxed, rubbing his eyes. “Hey, Jenna.”
“How’s the world’s best father doing?” I asked. He smiled, I think. Or maybe it was a frown.
“Do you guys know if Naya fed her?” he inquired.
A half-full bottle was dangling from Naya’s sleeping hand. I grabbed it and set it on the coffee table. “I’d say yes.”
“Cool,” Will said. “Well, if you all will excuse me…”
“Time for another nap?” Mike asked.
“Yeah. The other forty were just for practice,” Sue interjected.
I took a look at my phone. Jack was supposed to come home for dinner—he’d gone to help his mother with something—but it was eight, and I was starting to wonder.
He’d seen her more often since our Christmas dinner disaster, and it seemed their relationship was improving.
He acted like visiting her was an obligation, but I had the feeling he enjoyed it.
I’d hoped he’d write me to tell me how things were going, but when I didn’t see any messages from him, I read a couple of class emails instead.
I zoned out until I heard arguing. I looked back up to find Naya awake and scowling at Mike. “Are you guys OK?” I asked. He was looking down, with a guilty expression.
“We’re fine,” she said, “it’s just that Mr. Why-Don’t-I-Kiss-My-Brother’s-Girlfriend thinks he’s qualified to give me advice about my relationship.”
“Naya…” I began.
“Don’t get into it, Jenna. He’s an idiot, and he needs to learn to keep his trap shut.”
“I’m sure he didn’t mean what he said,” Will objected.
Mike started rubbing his temples. “Naya, please, don’t bring that up again. I know it was a mistake, but it’s in the past, and it would be better if it stayed that way.”