Chapter Thirteen #2
“Tucker,” Charlie whispers before kissing me softly and starting to move again.
I dance my hands up his back, down to his hips, back up to his shoulders, then back down to coast my hands over his thick thighs as they lift so he can take me harder.
The sounds in the room are vulgar—slapping of skin, our moans, our pants—but it’s a symphony of its own. This is lovemaking.
“Charlie,” I say again, lost to it all.
Charlie groans deep in the pit of his belly and leans down to take my mouth in another wet, scorching kiss. His tongue slides against mine just as his hand wraps around his cock, his knuckles bumping against my stomach with each tightly controlled stroke.
“Tuck,” Charlie begs, lips trembling against mine.
My orgasm hits me with a force like never before.
I lift my hips from the bed and still inside him, holding him down to give him every ounce of me.
The feeling of my cum leaking out of him and onto my thighs is obscene, but so perfectly real.
Charlie groans and leans back, a perfect picture of desire and need, and I almost come again when the ropes of his release splatter across my stomach.
The tension in his body releases as he pants over top of me, hair sweaty and stuck to his forehead. He’s so goddamn beautiful.
There’s no way I can keep him.
Charlie falls against me, smearing his cum over my stomach, but I don’t really give a shit. I wrap my arms around him and bury my face in the sweaty crook of his neck. He smells like him, and us, and the smell of someone has never driven me so crazy before, never made me so bare with need.
Charlie’s fingers dance across my chest as he falls to the side, my cock slipping out of him. I reach back to press my fingers into him, needing to be as close to him for as long as I can be. Charlie groans and pushes against me, his soft cock pressing against mine.
“I’ve never… That was…” I don’t know how to put it into words. But Charlie seems to understand. His gaze sparkles as he kisses me with open eyes, seeing me like no one has ever seen me before.
“I know.” Charlie runs his fingers through my short hair with a bittersweet smile. “It’s never been like that for me before. I… Tucker… you’re special to me.”
I swallow hard, because I agree. “You’re special to me too.”
Charlie hums and buries himself against me. He falls asleep with my fingers still inside him, content and sated, and I fall asleep that way too, caught up in the dream of it all.
Gentle hands shake me awake. The room is dark, but it’s easy to see Charlie. His smile is warm and loving, his hands gentle on my arms as he dances them over me.
“Let’s go watch the sunrise, sweetheart.”
I kiss him softly despite the morning breath, needing to feel his lips against mine for as long as I can.
We tug on sweatpants and I steal one of Charlie’s hoodies before we grab Cupcake and amble out toward the beach.
The waves are loud this morning, the air especially briny, but the waves crest like a promise once we cross between the dunes.
The sky is dark blue with orange starting to play at the horizon.
Charlie lays a blanket on the soft, slightly wet sand, and we curl up in each other’s arms as we await the arrival of the sun.
Charlie smells like sleep, his cologne, and like mint toothpaste because he had to brush his teeth before we came out for the sunrise.
His fingers dance over the top of my hand, thumb caressing my knuckles as he takes my hand in his own.
“You mean too much to me for us to rush this,” Charlie admits quietly. When I glance toward him, he’s staring hard at the horizon, a worry line on his forehead. “I think you’ve been rushed before, and I can wait a very long time to make sure it’s forever.”
“Charlie,” I say around the sudden lump in my throat.
Charlie turns to me with a blinding grin. His eyes are slightly watery, and I want to hold him to me, but I also want to push him away at the same time.
“I want to be the place you come back to. I want to be your soft landing place. I want to be…” Charlie blows out a breath, cheeks billowing like a chipmunk. “I want to be everything you need, but nothing at all. If that makes sense.”
It makes sense. I feel the same way. I want to spend every moment with him, but I also want to finally live my life for me and not answer to anyone ever again.
I want to drive to New York City to see a Broadway show, sometimes alone, sometimes with him in the seat beside me.
I want to see all the national parks with him, but sometimes take a trip on my own with River if we need a boys’ trip.
I want to live my life beside him, but not for him, and I think that’s the key difference between Charlie and anyone else.
Because I think Charlie would let me run and just wait for me to come back, standing there with open arms.
“Nolan wants me to tour with him,” I admit, a little afraid and a little proud.
Charlie’s grin somehow grows even wider, full of pride and love.
So much love. “He does little tours now, just smaller venues, but his newest album just came out a month ago, so they’re planning the small tour in January and February. ”
“Can I come to a show?” Charlie asks, which is so perfectly him. Somehow, he’s healing my heart in ways I don’t think he ever realizes.
“You can come to every show if you want,” I promise.
Charlie sighs, leans against me, and looks back out at the horizon. The sun is sneaking up now, the sky lightening, the clouds making room for the sun’s grand appearance.
“I think I’d like to wait here for you. Most of the time.”
“Okay.”
Charlie turns back to me with the softest smile of all time. “I never paid attention to the sunrise much before you, but now I see it for what it is and why you love it so much.”
“Why do I love it so much?” I ask thickly.
“It’s a promise, yeah? That no matter how bad the previous day was, no matter how bad the night was, the sun will always come up. After every sunrise, there’s a promise of life.”
“Love,” I whisper.
Charlie’s eyebrows furrow. “Huh?”
“After every sunrise, there’s a promise of love.”
“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right.”
“I love you, Charlie,” I say softly, but with more meaning than I ever knew possible. I don’t say those words lightly, and I don’t bestow them on many people. But it’s important to me that Charlie knows.
“I know,” Charlie says sweetly, tears in his eyes. “I can feel it when you look at me. I feel it in your kiss, in your words. It’s okay, Tucker. I love you too, very much. It’s okay to be afraid of love.”
“I don’t want to be afraid!”
Charlie turns toward me to kiss my forehead. “I think loving someone is always scary. If you weren’t a little afraid, I’d be scared. I want to be your home, if you’ll let me find home in you too.”
I pull away to look up at him, astonished by everything he is.
The ocean breeze washes over us, ruffling Charlie’s messy hair. We both turn back to the horizon, arms wrapped around each other, and watch the sun break over the horizon.
“Make a wish,” Charlie whispers against my temple. He presses a soft kiss there, and I take a deep breath.
“I don’t need to make a wish today. All my wishes have come true.”
I can feel Charlie’s gorgeous smile against my skin, warm and true, and I somehow get to watch the sun rise slowly up in the sky with the most important thing beside me.
All those wishes I’ve made all my life took their time to come true, but they did.
After every sunrise, there’s a promise of love, at least for me and Charlie.