Chapter 30
Alice dresses me in an off-shoulder black dress with a heart-shaped necklace and lets me borrow matching heels. She pours herself into a red dress with a see-through back and fire-red heels.
I curl ringlets into my hair and add dark eyeshadow, giving myself a smokey eye. My self-image is already improving while I twirl in front of the mirror.
Alice orders us a car, and it drops us off at her favorite club, The Rainbow Pony. She knows the bouncer, and he waves us in without checking IDs or forcing us to join the line wrapped around the building.
“Good to know people,” she shouts as she tows me toward the bar.
We grab the first two stools available. Alice sits on her knees, leaning over the counter to grab two glasses and the closest bottle of liquor, whiskey.
“To us!” She pours us each a double shot and lifts her glass in the air.
I laugh, clinking my glass with hers. “To us!”
We drink. She pours us more as my body shivers with the warm liquor burning its way through my organs.
“Can’t we order something?” I ask, accepting my glass.
She sticks her tongue out. “I’ll get the bartender if you need your drink watered down.”
Alice slams her hand on the bar and beckons the bartender a few feet away. He glares at the bottle of whiskey in her hand and takes it back. “Alice, you can’t take over. You don’t work here.”
“Damn right, I don’t. This bar would have top-class service if I did.” Alice smacks her lips. “Can you make my best friend an adios motherfucker?” She rips the bottle out of his grasp and pours herself another shot. “I’m good for now.”
He shakes his head as his hand wraps around the whiskey’s neck and he places it as far from Alice as possible.
Alice checks her phone and grins, a wicked spark in her eyes. “Emily’s already here!” she shouts over the music.
As a new song by Sabrina Carpenter blasts through the speakers, Alice practically vibrates with excitement. She leans in close, her voice loud in my ear, “I’m going to dance. Find me after you grab your drink!”
She gives my arm a playful punch before vanishing into the crowd, her body already moving to the beat.
The bartender returns with my blue drink. “Alice is a spitfire. Always in here trying to do my job. You know last week she hopped the bar and was serving people while I was in the restroom?” He whisks away the empty whiskey glasses. “She’s determined to get me fired.”
“She’s passionate,” I say, biting my tongue. I’m terrible at defending my bestie.
“Yeah.” His nostrils flare and he turns away to help someone else.
The music rocks the building as I sip my drink and search for Alice on the packed dance floor.
A group of girls grab me to join them as they bounce and shimmy their hips.
For a minute, I’m theirs until they drift off, and I’m free to wander again.
I locate Emily leaning against the wall, smoking her vape, but Alice isn’t with her.
“Hey,” I say, my voice cracking. Her hazel eyes widen when she sees me.
“You look different with that eyeshadow,” she says. “Are you looking for Alice?” She blows white smoke over her head. “Didn’t believe her when she said you wanted to come out tonight. You seem like such a workaholic. No offense.”
“Yeah, well.” I shrug. “Thought it was time for a change.” What I needed was an excuse to get out of my head. I step closer to the wall to avoid a group of girls heading toward the bathroom.
“How’s it going with your rock star?” Emily offers her vape to me. Against my better judgment, I accept and take a puff. It tastes like cotton candy and cherries.
The smoke curls out of my lips. “It’s been fun but—”
“Oh…” She takes another drag and blows the smoke behind her shoulder. “You’re using the death words, past tense, and the dreaded but.”
“It’s complicated.” I toy with a strand of hair, coiling it around my finger until my pulse thuds in its tip. “There’s never a story about dating a musician and it not being rocky.”
She nods. “True, but are you talking Courtney Love and Kurt Cobain kind of fucked up or Bon Jovi and his high school sweetheart?”
“Too early to tell.” I rub my temple. This drink is going straight to my head. “Where’s Alice?”
Emily points to the cage dancers. “She pulled out one of the girls and took her place. You know how she can’t stand not being the center of attention.”
I glance up, and sure enough, Alice is shaking her ass fifteen feet in the air inside a steel cage. “Naturally.” I bow my head and tap my heel against the floor, enjoying the annoying clicking sound.
“Gotta love her spirit. She always gets what she wants.”
“Agreed…” I finish my drink and watch the ice spin inside the glass. “Despite the cost to others,” I mutter, pushing off the wall and entering the crowd again.
One of the reasons I never go to clubs is no matter how many people surround me, I never feel more alone. I leave with bruised arms and sticky shoes but inside I’m empty.
The alcohol buzzes inside my head and turns my blood into sludge. My thoughts spin and my vision warps.
There must be something between going to clubs and staying home. Though you’d need more of a social life to be invited to things or be in a relationship with someone who wanted to be seen publicly with you.
A giant hand falls onto my shoulder and for a heartbeat I think it’s Sully, finding me like some fictional hero who can’t stand being away from his love interest.
“You’re not leaving, are you?” the stranger beside me asks. His dark hair is swept back by gel, and his skin is sun-kissed. By the looks of his body beneath his tight tee and jeans, I’d bet he’s a surfer.
“Don’t have a reason to stay,” I say.
“Let me change your mind. One song?” He offers his hand and a shy smile.
My eyes flick to my phone. No new messages.
“Okay. One song,” I reply, letting the stranger lead me into the crowd.
A new catchy song hits the speakers and we dance. His hands slide from my sides to my hips. I swing around him, and he twirls me. I laugh, allowing my nerves to drift away. Trying to live in the moment and have fun.
“Veronica!” I hear Alice shout.
I scan the area and spot her in a cage hanging above us to the right. She waves, then shakes her ass, whipping her hair like she owns the place.
“Friend of yours?” the guy asks, his grin too wide, too eager—like he’s already unwrapping me in his mind.
“Yes,” I reply, dragging my hand down his sculpted chest. He’s all muscle and show, but there’s nothing—no spark, no heat, just a cold flatline.
He finally looks away from Alice and fixes his eyes on me. “How about you hop in the cage next?” His fingers trail along my collarbone, rough and intrusive, like they’re staking a claim that doesn’t belong to him. A chill runs through me, like my skin’s trying to crawl away from his touch.
“Gotta go.” I duck away and weave through the crowd until I reach the bathroom. I slam a stall door shut and lock it behind me. Girls yell, pounding on the door, but I press my back to the wall and try to breathe.
With a shaky hand, I check my messages again, and nothing.
I search online, and my heart dies as my stomach falls to the floor.
Gigi won Artist of the Year, and during the after-show, she kissed Sully again.
But this time, she has her arms wrapped around his neck.
His hands locked on her hips. His head tilted like he was enjoying their embrace.
Screw him. I wipe away my tears and order a ride home.
Fuck him for cracking open my world and basking me in light. The darkness wasn’t so bad, not when I had a career to pour all my energy into. Now my heart is exposed, and it’s his fault.
When my ride is nearby, I throw open the stall door and text Alice, telling her I’m leaving. My fury must radiate off my skin because people move out of my way so I can exit this despicable club without tripping over anyone’s feet or being pushed in a different direction.