Chapter 31
My first instinct with Sully was correct, and I shouldn’t have believed anything different. All we are is a fling and nothing more. These past two weeks, I’ve been living in a dreamland.
Seeing Sully and Gigi super cozy tonight and the media frenzy after the music awards with fans buzzing as if they’re already an item hurts on a deep level.
One reporter is ballsy enough to ask if they’ve been secretly dating for a while and might already be engaged.
I refuse to stand in the way where his people don’t want me anywhere around.
Scarlet Failure will not lose Sully because he chose me over them.
It would be to spite them, and he’d grow to hate me for ruining everything he’s worked for.
A girl you barely met is not worth throwing away your life.
If he wants to leave, I won’t stick around just to be the excuse when it all collapses.
It’s too risky for my career. I’m part of the mermaid community, and no big-time sponsor will take me seriously if I get wrapped up in a celebrity scandal.
It was hard enough to recover after “the incident” with my ex that went viral.
At least his following was nothing compared to a globally known band.
Sometime after midnight, Sully finally replies.
I’m so sorry! I lost my phone! I didn’t kiss Gigi! I can explain.
A few minutes after that, he sends another text.
Please, I hate these after parties. They create so many rumors.
I leave him unread and go to bed.
When I wake up, he sent me another message, inviting me over for breakfast. I toss my phone onto my bed and follow the scent of coffee into the kitchen. Alice stands slumped over the counter waiting for the coffee machine to finish brewing with her mug in hand.
“How long did you stay dancing in that cage?” I ask, grabbing my mug beside her.
“Shh!” She covers her ears and slowly pulls herself together, standing up mostly straight. “I have a pounding headache.”
“A long time then,” I say, clicking my tongue.
She grabs the coffee pot and pours herself some liquid heaven and then sets it on the counter for me. “Shut up, Miss I-want-to-go-out-but-leave-within-the-hour.”
“Hey, I stayed longer than an hour…I think.” I shrug, grabbing the creamer from the fridge and stirring it into my coffee.
“Not according to Emily, but I’ll take your word for it.”
“Whatever.” I absorb the warmth through my mug before taking a sip and bumping my hip against the table.
Alice leans against the opposite chair. “What happened with Sully?”
“He texted me after midnight, but I haven’t replied.” I fall into the chair, resting my arms on the table.
She watches me over the rim of her steaming mug.
“Not planning to either. It’s too much. This push and pull. This should I or shouldn’t I. It’s exhausting.”
Alice squishes her lips to the side but doesn’t say anything. She doesn’t need to. Her watchful eye says it all. She doesn’t believe me.
“Don’t look at me like that,” I say, running my finger along the rim of my cup. “I’m not going to cave. We had a fun fling, but a real relationship is too…messy.”
She raises her hands in mock surrender. “I didn’t say a word.”
“Your face says enough.” I trace the scrape carved into the table’s surface.
“You didn’t see how their PR lady looked at me.
I felt small and disgusting, a cockroach who they think is riding on his coattails for fame.
Sully wanted to invite me as his plus one to the music awards and she nearly bit his head off.
Then Gigi stopped by the studio and acted like she already owned the place.
Scarlet Failure is going on tour with her. I don’t stand a chance.”
“Did Sully stand up for you or did he sit back and let these people treat you like dirt?”
“What does it matter if he did or not?”
She drags the chair out and sits down, slamming her empty cup onto the table. “I’m asking if he had a spine or not. If he has one then there’s still a chance, he will fight for you, but if he allows them to run his life then I agree, cut your losses and move on.”
“Umm.” I tug on my earring. “He told Amy to back off. At the studio he barely acknowledged Gigi. But…” I gesture toward the TV. “Gigi was on his arm and I was swimming in a tank miles away.”
“I don’t want to see you go through what happened last time. But Sully doesn’t seem to be like he who shall not be named.”
“There’s a fine line. Sully could hook up with Gigi.
I mean his PR rep basically blessed it right before my eyes and turned around to toss me out.
” I shove my mug away and cross my arms, resting my chin on top of them.
“Maybe it’s true what they say…you shouldn’t meet and then fuck your favorite musicians. It’s too…murky.”
Alice snorts. “That’s not the saying and you know it.” Her face falls as she studies me. “Be honest. Is he worth all this trouble?” For a second, I think she’s being genuine. “How is he in the sack? Do you come or do you fake it?”
And…there it is. I can’t have a heart-to-heart with Alice to save my life.
I stumble away from the table, almost choking on my gasp. “I’m not going there with you.”
She shrugs, running her tongue along her top teeth. “Just something to think about. You’re a real tight ass when you’re not getting any.”
“Screw you.” I flip her the bird, and she chuckles, gathering her cup to grab more coffee.
“So, your brilliant plan is to ignore him forever? You know he’ll show up here again or at work. What will you do then?”
I want to crawl into a hole and hide for a month. “This is all your fault. If you didn’t—”
“What?” Her joy is gone, replaced with red-hot rage. “If I didn’t get tickets to my best friend’s favorite band to cheer her up? Did I force you to hang around an alley to meet the band in the middle of the fucking night?”
“Okay. That’s on me…” I wrap my arms around my waist, shielding myself from her verbal blows. “But you don’t—”
She shoves her finger into my chest and it feels like the barrel of a gun.
“No. Don’t you but me. You met the band and you chose to text Sully.
Without telling me, you went to meet him at his hotel and then you went to Vegas!
You! The girl who thinks serial killers lurk in the shadows and doesn’t allow me to open windows past ten o’clock despite us being on the second floor and the whole city in the middle of a heat wave. ”
“Okay, fine.” I rub my chest where her finger dug a hole. “It’s my fault. Is that what you want to hear? After spending all this time with him, I learn he’s sweet and strong. He supports my mermaiding and doesn’t make me feel foolish. Fuck. He’s in some of my modeling pictures now!”
Alice blinks at me for a moment. “I don’t know what that means, but screw you.”
“No…” I tug on my hair and spit my next words, “You didn’t want to hang out at home with your heartbroken best friend but didn’t want to feel guilty going out either. So, if I had someone then you were off the hook.”
“I’m not going to keep doing this with you.” She hits a vase of flowers, and it crashes to the ground, exploding into pieces. “You want to be a miserable workaholic and piss away the rest of your life be my guest!” She stomps on the broken shards and swings open the front door.
Her sudden exit sucks all the oxygen out of the room.
I stand there in shock, staring at the gaping hole to the outside world.
The sky is a bright blue with no clouds in sight.
Birds sing and people honk car horns down below on the street.
Life goes on, but I’m stuck in this moment. Speechless and glued to the ground.
It’s not unusual for Alice and me to fight.
Being roommates and best friends does equal a kind of sisterhood.
And sometimes sisters argue and turn nasty at times.
But this is different. Alice never got in my face like that.
Her words never cut me so deeply that my skin felt raw and bleeding.
I didn’t want whatever was going on with Sully and me to ruin the only friendship that lasted more than a few years.
We’ve been there for each other since grade school.
I’m the first person she came out to. We share a whole history.
After a few crushing moments, I push myself forward and close the door. Alice is too far away to do anything. At this point, I’m not sure if an apology will help smooth things over, but I need to do something. The more time we spend apart angry, the more our friendship cracks and splinters.
“What the hell am I doing?” This is so me. Burn anyone too close. No one can hurt me if I cut off their legs and abandon them first.
With a heavy heart, I scoop my phone off my bed and send Alice a text. Asking her to lunch and sending a white flag emoji as an olive branch.
A moment later my phone lights up with a call. I don’t look at the name on the screen, I just hit answer.
“Alice. Please come back and we can—”
“It’s not Alice.” Sully’s voice slices into me deeper than a razor blade.
I remove the phone from my ear, muttering swear words under my breath. Why didn’t I look before answering? I’m a damn fool.
“Veronica?” he asks, pain leeching into his voice.
Ice climbs up my spine. My thumb hovers over the end call button.
“Sully, I can’t do this anymore. Can we just—”
“Please. One last date. Then if you don’t want to see me again, I’ll respect your wish.” His voice is rough, thick with grief. If I close my eyes, I can almost see him—the way his lips would pout, the deep frown lines creasing his forehead.
I clutch the phone tighter. “Does Gigi know you’re calling me? Did you ask Amy for permission?” My voice cracks at the end, exposing too much.
Sully lets out a low, frustrated breath.
“Gigi doesn’t control me. Amy doesn’t either.
Last night at the award show...it was a setup.
They’ve been trying to pull this shit for a while.
I’m the only single one in the band, and they think that makes me easy to manipulate.
Like some kind of trophy to parade around. ”
My heart stutters.
“She kissed me without permission, Veronica. I didn’t want it.
I pulled away the second it happened. But Gigi and Amy—they’re playing a different game.
Gigi wants some hot bass player on her arm to boost her image for the tour.
Candy for the cameras. And Amy...” His voice darkens.
“Amy’s on a power trip. She thinks managing us gives her the right to manage everything.
Even our personal lives and with everyone else being married… she’s hooked her sights on me.”
I stay silent, my mind racing to keep up with the new version of events.
“I’m easy-going, yeah. Always have been. But people take advantage of that.” He pauses, voice raw. “I don’t want anything to do with Gigi, or her power-hungry bullshit. I just want you.”
The air leaves my lungs.
I glance at the signed Scarlet Failure setlist taped to my bedroom wall next to the mirror. It’s now or never. Do I throw whatever is between us to the wind and watch the ashes scatter, or do I play Russian roulette with my heart one last round and pray it doesn’t explode in my chest?
I remember the way Sully’s hands moved over me—slow, deliberate, like he was learning a song he never wanted to forget. His mouth on mine. The weight of his body against me. In those moments, everything else disappeared. No stage lights. No lies. Just us, tangled in something too intense to name.
“One date,” I say, collapsing onto my bed and staring up at the ceiling, my heart beating too loud in the quiet room.
“Is tonight too soon?” His voice is full of glee, and I can’t help but smile.
“Please. One last date. Then if you don’t want to see me again, I’ll respect your wishes.” His voice is rough, thick with grief. If I close my eyes, I can picture his perfect lips pouting and the frown lines on his forehead.
I turn over, kicking my legs behind me. “I’m off, so tonight works.”
“Wunderbar! I’ll pick you up at seven. Wear comfortable shoes.”
The line clicks before I can ask why.
“God, I hope he doesn’t want us to hike.” I sigh and pinch my nose before checking my messages with Alice. She hasn’t replied.
To keep my mind off Alice—and to stop myself from spiraling into a depression—I head down to the pool and slip into the water.
I spend the afternoon pushing my body through mermaid training drills, swimming lap after lap until my muscles ache and the sting of worry fades into the rhythm of movement.
It’s easier to lose myself in the water than face the knot tightening in my chest. Before I know it, the sun dips low, and it’s time to get ready for what might be the last night I ever spend with Sully.