Chapter 8 Mia
EIGHT
MIA
I wake up alone. No Jensen wrapped around me, no warm breath against the back of my neck, no heat pressed against my spine. For a moment, I just lie there, waiting for him to come back.
He doesn’t.
What the fuck?
I can hear the clink of crockery coming from deep in the penthouse. Is he… Is he making fucking breakfast?
I sit up slowly, not because of that, but in case I get dizzy. The room tilts around me for a second before it evens out, but it’s nothing I can’t handle. Then I wait for the wave of nausea to hit, but my stomach doesn’t even churn.
That’s an improvement on yesterday when I felt like I was going to throw up my soul before I’d even smelled my coffee.
Our bedroom is warm, but I grab one of his hoodies from the walk-in anyway. It’s comforting to wear his clothes, especially when I don’t know why he left me in bed. He never does that.
I’m hesitant when I pad into the kitchen. I’m not sure what I’m expecting to find, but it’s not Jensen’s moving around like he’s been moonlighting as a Michelin-star chef. Heat rises from the stove and the oil hisses as it cooks. Whatever he’s making smells delicious and my belly grumbles.
But I don’t care about the food right now. I care about the fact my husband is here, and not in our bed.
With me.
“Morning, beautiful.” Jensen glances over his shoulder as he pulls the skillet off the heat. “I’m making eggs, bacon, and pancakes, but if you want something else, I can do that.”
Okay… he’s not angry or upset, but this isn’t right.
I stare at his broad back, squinting. Who is this man? The Jensen I know doesn’t start the day without being inside me. Doesn’t breathe without touching me.
He hasn’t even kissed me yet.
Is he having second thoughts about the baby?
No…
He spent months trying to knock me up. Months breeding me. Obsessing over it.
He wants me pregnant.
But this? This domestic, quiet version of him?
I don’t know what to do with this.
I hover awkwardly, like I’m stranger in my own home. What the hell do I say? Why are you making food and not eating me?
This sucks.
“Are you pissed at me?” I say it quickly, before I can stop myself. I don’t mean to sound so small, so pathetic, but I feel both. It makes my eyes sting.
Jensen turns so fast it makes me dizzy.
“What?” He forgets the stove entirely, crossing the space between us like it never existed. Then his hands are on me. He cups my face, his eyes scanning me like he’s looking for the bruises he’s inflicted but can’t see. “Baby, no.” His mouth brushes over mine, soft and reverent.
Too soft.
I pull back just a fraction, and my hands cover his. “You got up before me. You never do that.”
I hate how uncertain I feel. Unmoored. I’ve never had that with him before. I’ve always been sure of my place in his life.
Jensen blinks like I’ve said something in a language he doesn’t understand. “You were sick last night. I wanted you to rest.”
I frown, not sure what to do with that without sounding hysterical. My bottom lip slips between my teeth as I try to find the words. “That was last night,” I whisper.
He stares at me like he’s hanging onto the last thread of restraint, but I want him to snap it. I want him wild and unhinged for me. I don’t know what to do with this careful version of my husband.
Jensen brushes my hair from my face, his thumb stroking my cheek. I lean into his touch. I can’t help it. “I didn’t want to push you when you felt so bad.”
My smile is thin. “So I get pregnant and you don’t want me?”
I don’t know why I’m so upset about this. It’s not like he left the country. He’s still here, taking care of me, but rejection burns through me. I’m holding back tears, even though I don’t know why.
I try to step back, but his hand wraps around my nape, holding me there. Firm and possessive—a flicker of the Jensen I know better than myself.
“Don’t ever fucking say that.” His voice is low and wrecked.
Angry too—not at me, but at the idea I’d believe that for even a second.
“You think I don’t want you?” He presses my hand between his legs.
He’s hard, thick and aching under the fabric of his pants.
Oh, damn. “All morning, all I’ve been able to think about is spreading you open and stuffing you full of me. ”
My thighs clench.
My pussy too.
“But you’re sick, Mia. You came home early. You never do that.”
My throat closes and my chest swells. There’s so much pressure inside me I feel close to bursting. I’m sick but not broken. I don’t want things to change.
Jensen captures a tear with his thumb and he looks at me like I’ve lost my mind, like he doesn’t understand how I would ever doubt that he wants me.
“Baby, you’re killing me right now,” he murmurs.
He presses his forehead to mine, like he can siphon his thoughts into mine.
“I would spend every minute of the day buried in your pretty cunt, fucking you slow, listening to you beg for my cum, but I’m not a monster, Mia.
Your comfort matters more than my need.”
Oh.
Oh…
I get it now. He’s trying to be noble. Sweet. Careful.
Fuck that. I need him to be possessive and crazy in the bedroom.
I trail my fingers over his cock, staring right at him. The fabric between us is an annoying barrier, but his eyes still darken. I take great satisfaction from watching his jaw clench as he tries to control himself.
Good. Let him remember what he’s missing by being considerate.
“I don’t need you to treat me like I’m fragile.
” I rub him harder and his breath stutters.
“I need my husband to take care of me.” I kiss his jaw, brushing over the roughness of his stubble.
I want that grazing my thighs while his tongue is swirling over my clit.
“I don’t like starting the day without you inside me.
I need you to love me, Jensen.” My voice is softer now. “I don’t want to lose us in this.”
“We haven’t lost anything,” he assures me, grasping my chin, his eyes locked on my mouth. “Don’t think for a second I’m not picturing you bent over this counter, begging me to fill you.”
Fuck. Yes. That’s what I want. That’s what I need.
He slides a hand under the hem of my shirt, brushing over my panties. Heat pouring through my core as he pushes the fabric aside and drags his fingers through my wetness.
“You’re carrying my baby, Mia.” His voice is raw, guttural, undone.
I love it. “I want to take care of you, even as I want to fuck you every second of this pregnancy.” He trails his nose along my jaw, inhaling me like he’s committing me to memory.
I melt into him, so ready for him, so desperate.
“I want to kiss every stretch mark, worship every inch of your body as it grows. I want to breed you again before you’ve even finished carrying this one. ”
My hips flex against his hand, chasing his touch. Desire coils in my belly, building to that familiar crescendo only he can give me. I grind against him. More. Deeper. I want it all.
“Do you know what it does to me?” He thrusts deeper into my pussy, and a helpless gasp tears out of me so hard my lungs forget how to drag in breath. “You’re pregnant and I put it there. Fuck. That undoes me, sweetheart.” My nails dig into his biceps as my legs wobble. “You’re mine completely now.”
I’ve always been his, but he’s right. This feels different. It’s him and me tied together by more than marriage. We’ve created a whole new life out of our love for each other.
But if I’m his, then he needs to treat me like that. I don’t want to be wrapped in softness.
“Don’t treat me like glass,” I breathe. “If I don’t want it, or I don’t feel up to it, I’ll tell you.”
“I want that promise, Mia.” His palm grinds against me, dragging a desperate moan from my core.
“I need to know that you’ll speak up if you’re in pain, or if you’re tired.
” Even as he issues the demand, his thumb circles my clit, gentle but relentless.
I grip his wrist, not to stop him, but to steady myself.
“I promise.”
“Then I’m going to ruin you.”
“I want you to.”
My orgasm hits me like a lightning strike. It’s fast and electric. Heat and pleasure. My walls clamp around him in fluttering waves, trying to keep his fingers inside me. I drop my head to his chest, tremors rolling through me in relentless waves as I chase the aftershocks.
Jensen doesn’t give me a second to catch my breath. He hoists me onto the breakfast bar, my legs dangling over the edge. I don’t resist when pushes me onto my back and slips my underwear down my legs. Then he parts me like I’m a sacrifice lying on the altar.
Slowly, he inches my shirt up my thighs and over my belly until it’s bunched up under my chin.
For a moment he just stands there, tracing every inch of my body until his gaze stops on my stomach. His hands shake as they splay over where our baby is nestled inside me.
“I don’t know how to put into words how I feel right now,” he admits.
My lips part in surprise. Jensen always knows what to say. I keep my mouth shut, letting him feel his way through this.
“I want to devour you,” he mutters, his eyes wild, “but I don’t trust myself to be gentle.”
“I don’t want you to be,” I whisper. “I want to feel it.”
He shakes his head, like he’s clearing fog from his brain. “I have to. You’re carrying something too fucking precious now.”
Jensen bends, pressing a kiss just under my naval, as if everything he’s ever wanted is under his lips. Then he leans his cheek against me, like he’s trying to hear our baby through the wall of my abdomen—even though that’s not possible.
“Say it again,” he demands, his lips brushing my stomach. “Say it’s mine.”
“It’s yours,” I breathe. “All yours.”
He makes a low sound in the back of his throat. “Damn right. And nothing will touch or hurt either of you. I’ll protect you with my life.”
Jensen seals that vow with a kiss to my clit. Oh, fuck. I grip the edge of the counter as he swirls his tongue around the sensitive bundle of nerves, and then kisses back up to my belly.
Every touch is sacred, like he’s binding our souls together. Sealing his vow with his mouth.
“You’ve given me the world, Mia.” He punctuates each word by pressing his mouth to my stomach.
“You have no idea how long I dreamed of this. How long I’ve wanted to see your body carry me.
You think I was obsessed before?” He laughs under his breath.
“Your body is my shrine now and I’ll worship it every day if you’ll let me.
” Jensen moves to my breast, gently squeezing it between his fingers.
“Every part of you is going to change. To swell.” He sucks one of my nipples into his mouth like he’s trying to drag a second orgasm out of me.
My back arches off the cold marble, and he grips my hip, holding me in place.
Jensen takes his time. There’s bites of pain mixed with the pleasure. I’m a writhing, gasping, sweaty mess and I don’t care. This is everything I’ve ever wanted or needed.
Him loving me in the only way he can.
I feel him at my entrance, thick and heavy. The head of his cock feels huge, imposing. My muscles loosen, ready for him as he pushes in slowly, like he’s sliding home.
The stretch burns, but I don’t want mercy. I want more. My body was made to take every solid inch of him and he gives me exactly that. Jensen’s eyes don’t leave mine as he thrusts into me like he’s marking me completely.
My breasts bounce with each drive of his hips, and every drag of his cock sends heat licking along my spine. His pace builds, like he’s chasing something I can’t see. I can’t breathe, can’t think. All I can do is lie here and take every punishing stroke he delivers.
“That’s it, baby,” he rasps as he drives so deep it feels like he’s in my chest. “Look at you, taking all of me like it’s nothing. Like I’m not stretching you wide. You’re my beautiful little cum angel.”
The sounds I’m making are somewhere between a plea and a sob. It’s too much and yet not enough. It never is with him.
“I can’t…” I gasp.
“You can,” he says, his voice raw as he caresses my hip. “You’re doing so good, baby. You’re perfection.”
I’m coming apart. I want more, even as my body is overwhelmed. Every part of me is buzzing and sensitive. I’m wrecked, ruined, and maybe I’m crazy because he could break me right now and I’d thank him for it.
“Harder, Jensen.” The word is dragged out, frantic and frenzied. “Don’t stop.”
I turn my head to the side, the air too thin as I drag in empty breaths. My chest aches, my lungs fighting for every inhale. I can’t do anything but lie here and take the savage thrust of his cock inside me.
“Don’t you dare look away.” His voice scrapes out of his throat like he’s been screaming my name for hours. Stroke for stroke, he slams into me, wild and demanding. “I want you to see what you do to the man who owns this body. My talented, beautiful, fertile little goddess.”
I meet his gaze, my vision fracturing between the slap of our skin coming together. “I’ve got you, baby,” he murmurs. “Always.”
There’s nothing but white heat as everything inside me tightens and then breaks.
I let out a strangled cry as I pulse around him.
My back arches off the marble, pushing him so deep my thoughts splinter. I’m vibrating, shaking, and helpless to do anything as my orgasm steamrolls through me. Fuck. Me.
Is this how I die?
Fucked to death by my husband and his thick cock?
Jensen pulls out with a gruff curse. Then to my surprise, he spills his seed on my belly, hot and thick.
Claiming.
Like he’s painting my skin with him.
And I’ve never loved him more.