Chapter 9 Mia
NINE
MIA
I’m feeling pretty smug by the time I’m showered and dressed. I can feel Jensen everywhere. Between my legs aches with a slow, satisfied throb.
Jensen lost his mind, and I loved every second of it. There’s something powerful about when he’s so unhinged for me that he feels like he can’t breathe unless I’m under him.
It makes me feel like what he calls me—a goddess.
When I step back into the kitchen, Jensen’s on the phone. He’s pacing, his brow drawn, his voice low. His shirt’s unbuttoned at the collar, his sleeves shoved up his forearms, and his pants hug his body like they were stitched around him.
My breath catches when his eyes find mine.
There’s still a trace of that wild, desperate edge in his gaze. He looks at me like I’m his ruin and his salvation rolled into one.
Like he’s still starving for me even though he already ate the full menu.
He ends the call with a few clipped words and crosses the space between us in three strides.
My skin heats as his gaze sweeps over my face, as if he doesn’t trust that he didn’t leave marks on me he can’t see.
Then his hand skims down my arm and settles on my flat stomach like it’s already everything to him.
I cover his hand with mine, my heart so full I feel like I’m floating.
It’s still hard to believe that a piece of us is growing inside me.
We’ve been through so much over the years, and it means everything that we get to share in this next step together.
“You feel nauseous?” he asks, like he’ll fight my stomach if I do.
“A little. It’s manageable.”
I trail my fingers up his spine, over the soft cotton of his shirt. I want to stay wrapped in him, but I’m going to be late for work.
Again.
“Stay home today.”
Of course he’d want me to do that. Keep me safe, locked away in the ivory tower we built together, brick by brick with blood and sweat. “I wish I could,” I say honestly. “But I’ve got so much to do.”
He pulls in a breath like even oxygen is getting on his last nerve. “I don’t like you being at work when you’re sick.”
My mood sours instantly. The control he usually keeps over me tightens around my neck like a noose.
I know what this is. It’s fear dressed up as protection. It’s what he always does when he feels like our world is spinning around us.
No. Absolutely not. I’m not giving up work because I’m pregnant and he’s building worst-case scenarios in his head.
I love my job. I want to be there.
I’ve worked my ass off to build my gallery.
I step away, bracing for the argument I know is coming, and he watches every step I take, like he thinks I’ll shatter.
“I’m probably going to feel like shit for a while, Jensen.” I grab the coffeepot and pour a small measure into my travel mug. “I can’t just ditch life and responsibilities because I’m pregnant.”
His jaw flexes. “Of course you can.” His voice is soft, but there’s steel beneath it. “I don’t give a fuck if the world stops turning. My only priority is you and this baby.”
That would be sweet—if I wasn’t being handled. I hate being handled.
I drop my hands to my hips and tilt my head. “And who’s going to run the gallery if I’m sitting at home putting my feet up for the next seven months?”
“I’ll hire someone,” he says, like that’s the only logical answer.
But it’s not.
I can’t just ditch my work. I have projects in progress, artists depending on me, community programs that help kids see the world through color and shapes. I need the gallery for my own sanity.
“I’m not handing over unless I absolutely have to, and right now I don’t need to do that.”
He closes his eyes for a beat, like he’s gathering what’s left of his shredded sanity. “You were unwell yesterday. Dr. Patel—”
“Said I was fine.” I cut him off and place my hands on his chest, trying to soothe the fear beating inside him. “I can handle this, Jensen. And when I can’t, I’ll rest, I promise. I’m not going to do anything that’ll hurt our baby.”
The door opens just as I reach for a banana from the bowl. That’ll be Theo here to take me to work.
“Mia,” Jensen says my name with that clipped bite of warning he gets when he’s not happy.
That makes two of us. My life is already micromanaged, and I allow it because it makes Jensen relax, but I’m not staying home, locked away until this baby arrives. I don’t fight him on a lot of things, but this? Yeah, I’m not backing down.
I arch a brow. “Don’t ‘Mia’ me. You can’t control this, Jensen. I’m not one of your staff.”
Before he can answer, Theo appears like a six foot five brick apparition. And he’s not alone. Behind him is a man I’ve never seen before. He’s a similar build to Theo, with sharp eyes and a blank expression.
I blink. He doesn’t disappear.
I shoot a glance at my husband, expecting an explanation, but he says nothing.
“Good morning Mrs. Rivers,” Theo murmurs, like he’s testing how tense I am.
What the fuck’s going on?
“Hi Theo.” My voice is light and wary. Nobody says anything about the other man, which is a bad sign. My stomach dips. “Jensen?” I raise a brow. “Do you want to explain the human wall in our kitchen?”
I already know the answer, but I want him to say it. Why didn’t he talk to me about this?
Because I’d have said no. Better to ask for forgiveness than permission, right? It’s barely been a day since I found out I’m pregnant and already my life is being hijacked.
Fuck. That.
“That’s Mike,” Jensen says. “Mike, this is my wife, Mia. She’s the most important thing in the world. Don’t ever forget that.”
He says his name like it explains everything. It doesn’t. “I’m going to need you to use your words here, baby. Who the hell is Mike and why is he here?”
“He’s security. For you.”
Suspicions confirmed. I’m being tag teamed with security, which means I won’t even be able to pee without an entourage.
That’s not happening.
I cross my arms over my chest and glare. “I’m perfectly happy with Theo. We have a rhythm, a routine. I trust him and he doesn’t get in my way. You don’t get to change my security without asking me.”
Jensen doesn’t flinch at my tone. Of course he doesn’t. This is already a done deal for him. “I’m not removing Theo.”
Which means Mike is an addition, not a replacement.
Is he serious? I take a slow breath, but my temple is pulsing. “You want me to traipse around with two bodyguards tailing behind me like a pair of labradors?” I cut a glance over my shoulder at the two men who are now studying the floor like they wish it would swallow them whole. “No offense.”
Mike glances at Theo, unsure whether he should be insulted. Theo’s used to this shit. He wisely says nothing.
“You’re pregnant,” Jensen says.
“I’m aware.”
He exhales like I’m being deliberately obtuse. “You’re even more high risk than you were before,” he says. “So, anytime you leave the penthouse, you take both of them with you.”
There’s a growing throb behind my right eye. “No.” I shake my head, my blood pressure rising. “I already put up with Theo. I’m not adding another man to the parade, Jensen. I get that you’re worried, I do. And I love that you care, but this? This isn’t protection. It’s suffocating.”
Jensen slides his mug onto the counter and then he’s in my space like he commands even the air around me. His need to control, and my need to exist, are locked in a battle with no winner.
He cups my face gently, and I resist the urge to lean into him. I’m still pissed, even when I want to melt into him.
“I don’t know how to let you out of my sight without losing my mind,” he admits.
“If I lose you—” He doesn’t finish. He can’t.
It shreds him like shrapnel. “It was hard enough when it was just you to protect, but now you’re carrying my child and that changes everything.
I barely slept last night thinking about all the things that could happen to you. ”
My chin wobbles and I force my tears back. I want to give him this, and usually I bend to whatever he asks, but I can’t. I won’t wear chains in our marriage.
“It’s too much.” It spills out of me in brittle pieces.
Doesn’t he see that he’s going to break me under the weight of being his entire world?
“I know,” he agrees, “but you’re so fucking precious to me. And I won’t apologize for protecting what’s mine. I can’t.”
I cover his hands. He’s warm and solid.
And trembling.
This beautiful man who owns my heart is crumbling under the weight of losing everything, but I’m still here. Still breathing. Still his. “Don’t put me in a cage because you’re scared,” I whisper. “I won’t survive it.”
“I’m trying, Mia.” He brushes his mouth over my forehead like he’s tormented. Like he’s so afraid of anything touching me, he can’t function. “Mike’s the compromise.”
I shake my head. “He’s just another shackle.”
He flinches, then he exhales slowly, like it costs him to show so much restraint. “You want freedom? This is the only way, Mia.”
He’s not going to back down. I can see it in his eyes. I’m used to Jensen controlling every aspect of my schedule, my security, and I know why, but the system we had worked. Me and Theo worked.
This is chafing.
But I’m late. And I don’t have time to argue with him. I step back and watch his hands drop to his sides. “I have to leave.”
He grabs my wrist, his touch light, but his voice is low and raw. “Mia, I love you. And I love our baby. I just want you safe.” I know he does. He shows it every moment of every day. “Please, sweetheart.”
When he asks like that, I don’t know how to say no.
“Fine.” I’ll take the two bodyguards and I’ll let them trail around after me because he needs this, and I need him. “But no more security, Jensen, okay?”
He doesn’t answer. Instead, he kisses me. His mouth moves slow and tentative, soaked in the love of a man devoted to me since we were teenagers who barely understood what that meant.
And I give him what he wants.