Chapter 15 Cleo
cleo
. . .
“Alright, everyone! Let’s take a seat.” I called out, even though it didn’t seem to make a bit of difference. Only a few of the kids turned their heads my way. There was way too much noise for such a small space, it was hard to even hear myself think.
Today was proving to be a real bitch. Everyone seemed to be on edge, from the kids to the ranch hands to me.
The heat was making being outside unbearable, messing up most of our planned activities for the day.
Lennox had told the guys working in the arena to clear out for the day.
Being in the shade brought the temperature down slightly, but not enough to make a noticeable difference.
And while the temperature seemed to be the only thing affecting everyone else, other things were distracting me. A lack of sleep, for one, that was caused by the stupidest conversation I should have never indulged in.
When Grady’s first message came through, I almost ignored it.
I should have ignored it. But I didn’t want to give him a reason to believe I hadn’t unblocked him.
I’d stared at it for a minute before I made the decision.
After all, his daughter was in my care, and her safety came first above any of the bullshit and years between us.
If the roles were reversed, I’d want to know I could get in touch with him in case of emergencies.
I was trying to be responsible, not reckless. Even if it turned out to be a little reckless after all.
My stomach had done these stupid little flips at seeing his name flash across my screen after so many years.
Then came the shortness of breath, the sheen of sweat along my palms and at the back of my neck.
No matter how many breathing exercises I did, or how I tried to tell myself I didn’t need to engage in conversation while silently padding down the hall to the kitchen to make an additional batch of cookies for Charlie, my body reacted all the same.
It was like it remembered, even after all this time, how he used to make me feel.
But then he went and ruined it with one simple word. A word I’d tried my hardest to reclaim, to make it mine and mine alone.
Because at the end of the day, it didn’t matter if he’d brought back a tidal wave of memories; he was married.
He was married and had a kid, and I was divorced.
There was no way to act on the feelings, no way forward that didn’t end up with me eating a pint of Bluebell ice cream over a man who’d broken my heart.
I tossed and turned all night. Even when sleep finally came to claim me, I was haunted by charming smiles and pretty words.
By tender kisses and crystal-clear blue eyes.
There wasn’t enough coffee in the world to mitigate the pounding in my head or near-constant yawning.
I’d even forced down one of Josie’s horrible energy drinks to see if it would give me what I needed to make it through the day.
Instead, it left me feeling even crankier than I had been and with a bad taste in my mouth.
I clapped my hands together, finally catching a few more sets of eyes. “Hey! Let’s focus, guys.”
One of the kids, Jeremy, came up. He’d just lost a few baby teeth and had a broad, gap-filled smile. “Miss Cleo! When is lunch going to be here? I’m starving.” A chorus of agreement followed his declaration, but I finally had their attention.
Thank god.
“Miss Lennox is bringing it in right now,” I said, looking over my shoulder to the door. “Should be just a few more minutes.”
My dear sister only had about five more minutes before I had a total mutiny on my hands.
No one did hangry quite like a group of kids who’d been running around in the heat all day.
And if that didn’t scare her enough, she’d have to deal with me afterward.
Trying to contain this rowdy group on two hours of sleep was starting to fray my patience.
“Who’s hungry?” Lennox sang from the alley. She rounded the corner with Cook, who was pushing a giant cart stacked with brown paper sacks loaded with sandwiches, chips, and my homemade cookies.
The room erupted into chaos as all the kids raised their hands and started shouting. I took the opportunity to catch a quick breath as Lennox and Cook began handing out meals to everyone.
Since they were here, I could sneak away for a few minutes and grab another coffee. And Tylenol. I’d definitely need some Tylenol before this turned into a full-blown migraine.
“Hey, Lenn—” My words faltered as I noticed her expression. She was glancing between the cart of food and the tables, mumbling something under her breath. “What’s wrong?”
“There’s an extra bag,” she whispered, confused.
“That’d be mine,” I sighed, rubbing my temple. “I’ll grab it in a second when I—”
Lennox shook her head. “I’m not talking about yours.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, stepping closer. “Did Cook make too many?”
“You know how he is about wasting food. He made sure there was enough for everyone, and we counted the bags together while I helped him put them together.”
No, no, no. I glanced back over the room, mentally taking a roll call and ticking off familiar faces, even though some part of me already knew who was missing.
By the time I met my sister’s gaze, I was ready to throw up all over the linoleum floor. “Charlie,” we said at the same time.
I thought back, mind racing to remember the last place I saw her.
She was there when we lined up for lunch, but my mind couldn’t place her in this room.
Had she gotten lost trying to go to the bathroom?
Had she managed to stay behind in the arena somehow?
There were no animals out there, so I didn’t see why it would be of any interest to her, but what if she’d wandered through the fence to find some?
“Hey guys! Listen up!” I clapped my hands forcefully this time, which seemed to work as twenty-seven little heads swirled my way. “Has anyone seen Charlie? I’d hate for her to miss lunch.” I tried to smile, but it didn’t reach my eyes. “I know how hungry she was!”
Most of the kids shook their heads before quickly turning back to their meals, but Jeremy quietly got up out of his seat and made his way over.
“I did, Miss Cleo. We saw a treehouse earlier, and she said she wanted to see it.” He ducked his head.
“I told her it wasn’t a good idea to go alone, that we’d get in trouble, but she said she’d be right back. ”
I bent down and grabbed his little hands. He looked scared and sad. “It’s okay, Jeremy. You’re doing the right thing. How long ago? Was it before we came in here, or did she slip out?”
Jeremy chewed on his bottom lip. “Um, it was before we came in here. She slipped out of line after you and Miss Lennox took roll.”
I closed my eyes, giving a gentle, reassuring squeeze before standing. “Thank you for telling us. Now, go finish your lunch, okay?”
He nodded before heading back to his seat. Lennox came over, running a hand along the back of her neck. “What can I do?”
“Stay here with them,” I said, nodding behind her. “Maybe text Bishop and ask him and the hands to be on the lookout for her. I’ll check the arena and then head to the treehouse.”
She nodded and gave a small salute. “Yes, ma’am.”
I turned around and quickly scanned the stalls and the bathrooms to make sure she hadn’t gotten lost wandering back. All were empty. And when I finally stepped into the arena, the breath I’d been holding threatened to choke me.
“God-fucking-dammit,” I cursed, rubbing my temple. I looked up and stared through the thick steel fence to the treeline up ahead for a moment before I slipped through the bars and into the field.
I wished I’d let Dad demolish the stupid thing years ago when he talked about having it rebuilt, but I didn’t.
I couldn’t. Even though I’d been remarried, even though I cursed his name every chance I got, that damned treehouse was one of the last things I had of Grady.
A remembrance of summer love, heated kisses, and sweet moments that never failed to make my heart ache and keep me up at night.
I might as well have kept it as a shrine to my youth, a hidden memorial that never let me forget the memories it held.
It wasn’t like it got much use anymore. Though I supposed that would change in a few years, since my parents finally had their first grandchild to spoil.
I hoped, for my own sake, that Josie’s daughter could make it her own.
Maybe then I wouldn’t be filled with dread at the thought of seeing it again.
Last October had been the exception. It’d been the one time in years I’d let myself settle into grief that was so bone deep, I knew there was nowhere else I could go. That sanctuary in the trees understood my pain. It knew what I’d lost, and it mourned right along with me.
I stood beneath the thick oak branches, staring up at the open hatch. “Charlie? Are you up there, honey?” Silence greeted me, which did nothing but increase my anxiety. “It’s okay if you are. You’re not in trouble, I’m just worried.”
This time, the wood groaned like someone was moving. I could make out the briefest hint of blonde hair through the hatch. “That’s what Mommy and Daddy say before telling me they’re disappointed.” She paused, sniffling. “I don’t want you to be like that, Miss Cleo.”
“Oh, honey…” I said, softening my voice. “I’m not disappointed, okay? I promise. I was worried, though, and I will be until we get you down from there. Do you think you can do that for me?”
“I—I’m scared,” she whimpered. “I don’t think I like heights very much.”
Just like her father.
I was stuck somewhere between pride that she did something that terrified her and sorrow knowing she’d been up here all alone for the past twenty minutes. “That’s okay! I’m right here,” I assured her. “Do you think you could try, or do you want me to come up to get you?”
“C—Can you help me?”
Charlie didn’t need to ask twice. I was already testing the ladder’s strength. It’d been fine when I used it in October, so it should be fine now. “I’m on my way. Just sit tight.”