16. Roman
Chapter 16
Roman
The bell above the shop door rings as Beck walks in, catching me red handed singing and dancing to “You Belong With Me” by Taylor Swift. I’m talking full on, holding my phone as a microphone style. He’s here to switch off shifts with me but here I am, dancing like an idiot. I expect him to laugh at me. Maybe hold this against me for the rest of my days but instead he brings his phone to his mouth and joins me. We are now in a full sing and dance duet number. This is why he’s my best friend. When the song finishes he bursts out laughing.
“What has you smiling and dancing around like that?” He jumps over the counter, making his way over to me. His shit eating grin is enough to have me laughing with him.
“Like what?” I ask like I don’t already know what he’s talking about and why I’m smiling like that. He tips his head to the side giving me a look.
“Roman, c’mon man. I’ve never seen you in such a good moo—OH MY GOD!” he exclaims. Here we go.
“I’m just in a good mood,” I say throwing my hands up in defeat.
“Oh my God! You totally got the girl,” he says and he might be smiling bigger than me now. I bite the inside of my cheek fighting back the smile that tugs at my cheeks. He isn’t wrong but he isn’t right either.
“I didn’t get the girl,” I say but I know the lack of disappointment in my tone is a dead giveaway.
“So nothing happened with you two?” he asks with a raised brow. Fuck fuck fuck. I can’t lie for shit.
“We kissed,” I admit with a sigh because I’m supposed to be keeping this big mouth shut. I can’t contain the feeling of kissing her though. I’m boiling over.
“Congrats, dude. You’ve been into her for like… Ever,” he says, patting me on the shoulder. I just roll my eyes and walk past him to leave like I was supposed to as soon as he got here.
I should be leaving here to catch up on some sleep considering I can’t remember the last night of good sleep I got. Every night of the lake trip Audra and I stayed up far later than we should have been. Then last night was the first night home and instead of catching up on sleep, I drove her 45 minutes away to the beach and stayed up talking half of the night despite both of us having to work today. Which is why the last thing I should be doing is taking her out to night surf tonight. Still, as soon as I leave here, I’m picking her up to do just that.
I pull into her driveway and get out to open her door before even telling her I’m here. I shoot her a text letting her know I’m outside. Audra comes jogging off her porch and out to the Jeep in nothing but her all black bikini that covers damn near nothing. The sides of the bottoms press into the flesh on her hips and it’s all I can do not to ask to peel them right off of her. She always looks perfect but tonight she looks dangerously irresistible. That bathing suit is nothing but trouble. She is nothing but trouble. Trouble I can’t wait to get into. Just as I’m pulling out of her driveway and onto the road, she turns to me.
“Can I tell you something?” she asks and before I even get the chance to answer her, she blurts it out anyway. “I missed you. I don’t know if missing you is allowed in whatever we’re doing here.” It’s adorable of her to think there’s anything she’s not allowed to do in my eyes. She’d be hard pressed to find something I’d say no to when it comes to her.
“Missing me is allowed. I missed you too,” I say, leaning over and kissing her on the top of the head. I don’t know how I ended up being the one with the privilege of spending time with Audra but I know I’m the luckiest fucker on the planet. I know it best when I get to put my lips on her. I don’t think kissing her will ever stop feeling like a dream. The kind of dream you feel hollow when you wake up from because it’s so good. I’m living that kind of dream right now.
“I always miss you when you aren’t around.” She sighs like it’s a relief to get the information off of her chest. It’s a relief to me to know she feels that way about me. I think I’ve felt that way about her since middle school.
“Me too,” I assure her, taking her hand. For the rest of the drive she looks out the window and I try damn hard to keep my eyes on the road despite the bikini she has on.
I hop out of the Jeep and make my way to her door to open it for her. I hold out a hand and she takes it, hopping out onto the blacktop of the parking lot. I walk around the back of the shop and she follows close behind me. I pull out my keys and unlock the shed that has the wetsuits in it. Pushing through the rack I finally find one I think will fit her and pull it down.
“Put this on,” I say, handing it to her. Soft green eyes turn to big green orbs.
“What? I thought we were just night swimming?” she says and there is anxiety evident in her voice.
“Night surfing, Auds,” I correct.
“No,” she says, pushing the wetsuit back toward me. “No. I can’t. I don’t know how.” She shakes her head rapidly.
“I know, but I teach people everyday,” I assure her, attempting to hand the wetsuit back to her. She yanks her hands away like she’s allergic to the fabric.
“Not at night. No, I don’t think this is a good idea.” She steps away like she’s going to walk out of here.
“Auds.” I step forward, reaching for her hand and to my surprise she willingly places it in mine. “Do you really think I’d let something happen to you?” I ask. She sighs before answering.
“No.”
“And has anything ever happened to you while you were with me?”
“No.”
“So will you put the wetsuit on and trust me?” I ask, making one last attempt at handing it to her. She looks at the wetsuit then at me, then finally takes it from my hand.
“It just goes on over your suit, I’ll help you get it on and then we’ll head out.”
* * *
I step into the water holding my board tucked under one arm and on the other, Audra grips me tightly. She’s scared and it’s obvious but I’m hellbent on showing her that it’s okay to be scared and do it anyway. Mostly because it’s a lesson she could benefit from.
I’d be lying though if I said there wasn’t a selfish piece of me that hopes she’ll apply it to other places in her life. Like, me for example. I lead her out to the deeper water and she follows me, trusting me to guide her, which I do. Waves crash higher and higher on our bodies until we’re far enough out that we can let the boards float rather than holding them under our arms.
“I’m going to put you on your board, to sit on it, okay?” I ask her. She looks at me nervous for a moment before giving me a reluctant nod. I lift her, helping her straddle the board. I hadn’t considered how attractive she might look on a surf board but holy fucking fuck. The two things I love most in the world mashed into one. Surfing and Audra freaking Hart. Immediately I know what image will be flashing in my head next time I’m in the shower.
“I’m scared, what if I get like… sucked out to sea or something?” All I can do is laugh.
“Auds. You’re going to be just fine. I’ll make sure of it.” I assure her. She takes a deep breath and looks down at the water then back at me. She gives me a weak nod. “On your stomach,” I instruct, and I follow my own direction on my board to show her. She follows suit and lays flat on the board.
“Move down, you’re up too far, it pushes the nose in the water,” I say gesturing to where I’m at on my board. She shimmies her body down the board until she’s in the perfect spot.
“You see how little these waves are, Auds? I’m going to have you ride one but if you fall you’ll be okay.”
“I’m scared. I don’t know if I can.”
“You’ve got this. I’m going to get off my board and stand by yours in case you need me, okay?” She spends a few seconds thinking on it until she finally lands her eyes on mine and I give her a reassuring nod. She sucks in a deep breath before blowing it slowly and she finally nods. I slip off of my board and let it float behind me while I make sure this goes okay for her.
“When I tell you it’s time, I want you to push up to your feet and try to keep your balance.” She still looks nervous but she doesn’t fight me she just nods. I watch a few waves come and go but they’re either too small or too rough, never just right. Finally I see a perfect one rolling in and I instruct her that it’s time. At the perfect time she pops up to her feet. She wobbles left, then right, then left again. She catches herself though and rides it. Just as I think she’s going to have a perfect first try, she wobbles again and falls. I jump forward and catch her. I’m filled to the brim with pride because holy shit she really tried it. I’m not sure anything will beat seeing my girl up on a board riding a wave.
“Holy shit!” she exclaims when she lands in my arms. It doesn’t come out terrified like I expect though. No, she sounds thrilled.
“I’m so proud of you.”
“Kiss me,” she demands. Who am I to say no? I adjust her in my arms and she wraps her legs around my waist. I press my lips to her and just like every time it’s pure fucking magic.
Her hands drag down my bare chest and I swear it leaves burning hot embers behind. I slide a hand down the curve of her back and let it land on her ass. It feels so good, so perfect, so right. Yet, I still feel like it’s wrong. There is nothing I want more than this but with everything she’s been through, I need to be sure we are taking this at a pace she’s comfortable with. I need to know she won’t regret anything she does with me. Sure, a handsy makeout session isn’t anything crazy but I know where it’s headed. Most of all I’m not sure I can pump the brakes if it goes any further.
“Should we stop?” I ask and I hate myself for it. What a stupid fucking thing to ask. She leans back, getting a better look at my face. Hers is twisted with confusion.
“What? Why?” She slides out of my grip and stands in front of me. Confused is fine but when she looks hurt, that’s when I know I messed up.
“I just don’t want to mess this up by rushing it, you know? You’ve been through a lot and I don’t want to push you,” I admit. She lets out a sigh and looks up at the sky before speaking again.
“You’re probably right,” she says, nodding to herself. Being right should feel better than this. It doesn’t though, it feels like an arrow through the gut. It doesn’t feel right. What felt right, was kissing her. I just nod though, agreeing. She grabs a hold of her board and she looks like she’s going to make her way back to shore. It feels a little too much like the night that she left me here at the beach when I kissed her.
“No, wait,” she says, whipping around to face me again. “You’re not right. This is stupid. I don’t want to pump the brakes and I don’t think you do either. So why are we doing it?” she asks, throwing two defeated hands in the air.
“I don’t know. I just want to take things at your pace.”
“This is my pace,” she says, stepping forward and pulling me down to kiss her. The kiss is quick before she pulls away. “Take me home,” she whispers against my lips. I was trying to do the right thing but I can only do so much. If Audra Hart is asking me to take her home, to take this at her pace, I’m doing it. I waste no time grabbing my board and stuffing it under my arm, making my way to the shore. She is right behind me the entire time and my heart is racing in my chest. I don’t know exactly what comes next here, but I know it will be damn good.
“We have to get out of these wetsuits,” I tell her. “I’ll get the keys to the shop and we’ll get ready in there, sound good?” I ask.
“Yeah, sounds good.”
I walk around to the Jeep and get the keys. When I walk back around she’s just standing there waiting on me and I wonder if she is buzzing with excitement and anxiety the way that I am. I don’t ask her though. I just unlock the shop and let us both in.