26. Roman
Chapter 26
Roman
This might go down as one of the most emasculating things I’ve ever done.
I pull my hand up and knock on Beck’s door. A few beats pass before finally the knob turns and he opens the door. He’s wearing nothing but a pair of sweatpants and I feel even more ridiculous showing up at his door. Normal people just text or call but I was in the car already.
“Come to confess your undying love for me?” he asks, leaning against the door frame.
I huff in annoyance and push past him, sitting on his living room couch. “Wow, what happened to being invited in?” he says dramatically, closing the door and meeting me on the couch.
“Think we’ve been friends long enough that I don’t need to be invited in anymore, bud,” I say with a pat on his shoulder.
“Touche.” He nods. “So, you’re here to tell me you’re in love with me?” he asks again.
“No. I can’t say that’s why I’m here,” I say sarcastically.
“That’s weird because you came and knocked on my door like it’s 1985 and you were asking my dad if you could take me out for a night on the town.”
“You’re a dick.” I groan. “I was on my way to Audra’s house because she wants me to meet her mom, like formally meet her mom. I’m nervous and I need advice,” I admit.
“Oh, you came to talk to Daddy. Why didn’t you just say so?” He laughs to himself.
“I really wish you would stop calling yourself that.” My face scrunches up with disgust.
“What are you nervous about?” he asks.
“I’ve met her before but this just feels different. This feels formal like if I fuck it up I’m going to be thrown out of the picture,” I confess.
“You really think Audra would do that? Kick you to the curb if you don’t impress her mom the first time? She’s better than that and you know it.” It feels a little like a scolding. He’s right though, she is better than that.
“You’re right. I don’t know why I’m this nervous. I just feel like everything has to be perfect with her.”
“And how has trying to make everything perfect gone for you so far?” he asks.
Again, he has a point. I wanted our first kiss to be perfect and she ran from me and didn’t talk to me for days. I wanted our first time to be perfect and she tried to do it again.
I wanted our first date to be perfect but then I opened my dumb ass mouth and brought up living together. Over and over I’ve tried to make things perfect but they turn out a mess. Somehow even though things have repeatedly been a mess with Audra, it’s perfect because it’s her.
“Yeah okay, point taken.” I laugh.
“You’re going to do fine. She’ll love you and if she doesn’t you’ll try again because Audra does,” he assures me.
“We haven’t really done the I love you thing yet,” I admit.
“Still, she loves you.” He nods to himself like he’s sure. I think he might be right but I wish I was as sure about it as he is.
* * *
I park my Jeep in the driveway and take a few deep breaths before getting out and coming to the door. When I knock, Liz, Audra’s mom, answers the door.
“Come on in.” She steps to the side to let me walk past her, and Audra stands behind her at the dining room table in a little black sundress. She’s all smiles at the table, and her smile alone brings my heart rate down a bit.
“Thank you for inviting me,” I say, turning to Liz. She smiles in a way that’s similar to Audra. I make note in my head about what Audra’s smile is likely to look like in a couple decades. I hope it’s still me she’ll be smiling at.
I make my way over to the table and sit next to Audra. She leans over to kiss me and I turn my cheek leaving her with a kiss to the cheek.
“What do you think my mom is a nun or something? Give me a kiss.” She laughs. So I follow her direction and I give her a quick kiss before turning my attention to Liz who is bringing dinner out to the table for us. She brings out a platter with all different type of food on it. Chicken is at the center of it all but surrounded by different sides. The smell quickly fills the entire room and it’s rich and buttery.
“That smells amazing,” I praise, wafting the air up to my face. Liz gives me a suspicious look.
“You know you don’t have to suck up to my cooking, right?” she asks in a lighthearted tone.
“Wouldn’t dream of it, Mrs. Hart.” She gives me a wink and my nerves settle some. Everything is off to a good start and while there is still plenty of night ahead of us, I can at least take a breath of relief. Liz takes a seat at the dining room table sitting opposite to us. Carefully she reaches to the center of the table and makes up a plate for herself. Audra does the same and I take that as my cue to make my own as well.
“So, Roman, tell me about yourself,” she says and even though it’s a question that normally makes me nervous it’s hard to feel nervous when she has the same warm smile as Audra.
“Well, I went to high school with Audra and Ares, who I’m sure you know is my brother. I surfed competitively in high school and some right after. The risk started to feel like more than the reward after a while, so I saved the money from my last couple of competitions and started mainly doing surf lessons. We do more at The Surf Shop but that’s the main source of income from it. My only employee is my best friend Beck,” I say with a shrug and I can’t help the smile thinking about all the great times I’ve had with Beck at the shop. She nods, taking the information in.
“So it’s your shop then?” she asks.
“Yep, all mine. When we graduated, money was put aside to buy Ares and I each a car but since I had already saved up for my car, Ares got his car and I got The Surf Shop.” I pause, taking a sip of the white wine Liz had set out for us. “When I opened the shop I never dreamed it would be enough to live off of but between the surf lessons and custom boards, it’s more than enough,” I say proudly. I’m not an overly proud guy but a lot of young guys gifted something like that would have blown it, partied in it, or given up on it. I never did, though. I worked my ass off and turned it into something with enough income to live off of. So yeah, this is something I’m proud as hell about.
“Wow, that’s really something. You should be proud of yourself,” she praises and once again pride glows in my chest. It’s one thing to be proud of yourself but to have the validation of knowing other people are too is something else.
“I really am,” I admit. Audra looks over at me with doe eyes and a bright smile. My heart nearly catches fire from it.
“Well I don’t have to ask how you two met, I know you met through Ares. How did it turn into something though?” I look at Audra for a moment, not knowing what she would want me to share with her mom. She gives me an assuring smile, giving me the go-ahead.
“Well, when Audra and Tyler broke up she came to my house looking for Ares because she needed someone. Ares wasn’t home so I stayed at the house to keep her company until he got home. We both fell asleep on the couch waiting for him, though. After that, we just started hanging out more, and the more we hung out, the more there was between us. Admittedly, I’ve had a thing for her ever since Ares introduced us.” I wish I could go back in time and tell twelve-year-old me that he gets the girl.
I wonder if saying something all those years ago would have changed something. If we could have started this all years ago. All I know for sure is I wouldn’t change a thing if it meant I didn’t get to spend my life with her.
“So you were playing the long game then?” Liz asks with a laugh.
“Something like that.”
Dinner is amazing, and I can only hope that Audra can cook half as well as her mother can. We all finish our plates before Liz offers us dessert. My taste buds are screaming yes when she shows us the brownies and ice cream she has for us, but I know if I eat another bite, I’ll explode. After a little while, we head out to the living room to finish talking. It feels a lot less formal now like we’ve found some comfort. Audra snuggles into my side on the couch across the room from her mom.
“So I know you travel a lot for work, do you like it?” I ask in an attempt to get to know her better as well.
“It’s okay, sometimes I love it and sometimes I hate it. It was never really about loving it though, it was about making the money to give Audra the life she deserved from me.” She shrugs like it’s no big deal. It is though. I think it’s easy to look past it here in coastal South Carolina where everyone has money but she did have a lot to give to Audra. A lot of parents stick to a job they like or that doesn’t exhaust them and they just make ends meet. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but what she’s done for her daughter is nothing to turn your nose up at.
“I think that’s really cool, that you were willing to do that to give her the life you did,” I admit. Audra gives my arm a nudge and when I look over at her, she offers me a big smile that says thank you.
“When you have a family you’ll see how much you’re willing to do for them,” she adds with a wink. I know it though already. I don’t need to have a bunch of kids and a couple of dogs to know what I would sacrifice. Audra’s sitting right next to me and I know right now that I would do anything I had to to make her happy. There isn’t a price I wouldn’t pay to see her relaxed and smiling.
“I have an idea.”
“Do you want a family?” she asks me. I consider avoiding the question because months ago when it came up with Audra it freaked her out and I don’t want her to feel any pressure. I don’t avoid it though because we’ve come a long way since then and we’ve talked about wanting kids. I want her to know I’m all in on her.
“Yeah of course. I want a lot but I don’t feel like as the man that’s my call to make. I would love kids and a couple of dogs though. That’s the dream,” I admit. Her smile grows with each word and I know I’m nailing it. For once hoping for things to go well didn’t curse the night. Her mom is getting along well with me.
“So this whole thing… it’s serious?” she asks, looking between Audra and I. I nod.
“Yeah, it’s serious. I’m really sure about this one,” she says softly like she’s afraid she shouldn’t be saying it. I know it’s because this is the first person she’s come clean to about it. And I know deep down she still feels like people will think she earned the stuff with Tyler by moving on too soon. I wish I could shake her by her shoulders and force her to hear me when I tell her nothing would make her deserve what happened. That she isn’t a bad person for finding happiness after being stuck in such a dark place. Most of all I wish I could make her hear me that she’s deserving of the love I’ve been trying to give her since I met her. Nothing she’s been through since then has changed that. If anything I love her more for her strength and resilience.
“So have you told Ares?” Liz asks. Both of our faces drop. I shake my head.
“Not yet, it never feels like a good time,” Audra admits.
“It never feels like a good time to rock the boat, Honey.”