30. Roman
Chapter 30
Roman
An absolute fucking mess. That’s the only way I can think to describe last night. I’m getting really sick of people giving my girl reasons to come cry in my bed. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll never be sick of her being curled up in my bed or finding comfort in me. But if I have to watch this beautiful girl fall apart one more time, I might combust. At least for once, there is something I can do about it because this time, it’s my idiot little brother.
I walk back into my bedroom with a bottle of ibuprofen in one hand and a glass of orange juice in the other. I sit on the bed next to her, setting both down on the nightstand to her left. I know she’s going to wake up with a hangover from hell. Worst of all, she’s likely going to have to face my brother with the hangover from hell.
“Baby, I brought you some medicine and juice,” I whisper close to her ear, giving her a slight nudge. She groans and pulls the plush comforter over her head. Can’t say I expect anything else. “There’s breakfast downstairs.” She peeks an eye out of the blanket.
“Who cooked?” she asks with a raised eyebrow.
“My mom.” She throws the blanket off of herself. The sweatpants and t-shirt I gave her are wrinkled and wrapped up in her body from all the tossing and turning she did last night. She pops herself up on her elbows and reaches for the juice and ibuprofen bottle, swallowing two capsules with a gulp of the juice. She groans, dragging fingers painted in chipped nail polish down her face.
“Fuckkkk. I’m so hungover,” she sighs, dropping her head into her hands. Then suddenly, she snaps it back up, looking at me with wide eyes. “Shit. Ares. I have to talk to Ares. God, he has to forgive me… Right?” The look in her eye can’t be mistaken for anything but desperation. So, without a second thought, I nod, assuring her that he has to forgive her. I’m certain at that moment I’ll force him to if I have to. I’ll make him understand why she waited.
“Ready to go down to breakfast and face everyone?” I ask, putting a hand out to help her off the bed. She just nods and takes my hand, standing from the bed. If it wasn’t for obvious circumstances, I would be filled to the brim with happiness and maybe even a little pride, walking downstairs where everyone finally knows we’re together and her in my clothes. It doesn’t feel that way, though. Everything is soured by Ares’ reaction, and there’s no one to blame for that but ourselves.
We walk down the stairs and into the dining room, where everyone sits with breakfast at the center of the table for everyone to pick from. Just like mom has always done for us and our friends. All eyes are on us, and I wonder if Audra is going to shatter under the pressure, but instead, she takes a deep breath and walks to the table anyway. That’s my girl.
I don’t like one bit the way Ares looks her up and down, then rolls his eyes. I’m happy she didn’t notice the look, but I did. He looks at me, and I give him the look . The one your mom gives you in the grocery store when you’re ten years old and messing around too much. The cut-it-the-fuck-out look. He just gives me the finger and snaps his head away from me.
Getting the finger is almost a comfort because at least it feels like a normal level of anger. It no longer feels like he might never speak to us again. I don’t know what the fuck his deal is anyway. It’s not like he ever had feelings for her.
Mom looks between Ares and Audra, then back to me. As soon as her lips part to speak, I know this is going to end horribly. One thing about my mom is she doesn’t hold back at all. Blessing and a curse, but I am certain it’s quickly going to turn into a curse at this table right now.
“So, cat’s out of the bag, huh?” she asks, looking between all of us. Yep. A fucking curse . I love my mom beyond measure, but holy shit, does she not know how to read a room. Ares irritated face burns to a full-on rage, and his eyes snap to Audra.
“Mom fucking knew?” he spits. Audra’s eyes go wide. I’m not sure if she’s going to meet him where he’s at with the anger or if we are going to go back to pouring down tears. She just nods, but to my surprise, tears don’t come. She holds her chin high, and I know it’s hard for her. I know she wants to cry.
“Did you know?” Ares asks, snapping his head to Ravyn. Oh yeah, we are in for the tantrum of a lifetime out of my brother.
“Barely. Like… only a day before you did.” She shrugs. That’s what I like about Ravyn. Completely unfazed by Ares shit. Audra, not so much. She might be able to hold her brave face here, but I know when I get her alone, she’ll be all tears. My girl has the softest heart, and I love that I’m the one who gets to see it.
“So you told everyone but me. What the fuck?” he asks, throwing his hands in the air. Mom just watches us all like it’s her favorite sitcom.
“Ares, why don’t you take a breather, honey?” Mom chimes in. That’s just fuel to the fire. I wanted to give my brother the benefit of the doubt and have some sympathy for him. The whole toddler tantrum thing is making it hard, though.
“Easy for you to say. All your favorite people weren’t keeping a secret from you,” he snaps. All she can do is nod. I wonder what’s going through Audra’s head right now. I imagine she’s filled to the brim with misplaced guilt. She did what she thought was best.
“I’m sorry. Just let me explain.” Her voice shakes a little on the back end, but still, she holds strong and doesn’t crumble. For that, I’m proud of her.
“No. I don’t want to listen to you try to talk yourself out of this. You fucked up!” He raises his voice at the last part, and she flinches back. I know he would never in a million years hurt her. She knows that, too, I think. Her reaction was automatic, and so is mine at watching her flinch back.
“Watch how you fucking talk to her,” I spit. His eyebrows shoot up so high, I think they might be permanently ingrained in his hairline. I know I should have stayed out of it and let him cool down. The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. No one gets to talk to her like that, not when I’m around.
“Oh, that’s rich. Here comes the peanut gallery to tell me how to talk to my best friend of over a decade,” he scoffs. “You’ve been around for what, a summer?”
“I get it, okay? Your feelings are hurt because you weren’t in the loop. Lashing out at everyone you care about isn’t going to fix it,” I say, expecting him to take down a notch, but instead, it’s just water in a grease fire.
“You think that’s why I’m mad? You all think this is because I wasn’t the first to know?”
“I mean… Why else?” I ask, shrugging. I can see him sift over his thoughts, and for a moment, he looks like he might actually step down and come out with something reasonable. Just like that, the fire is back under his ass, and it’s all aimed at me now. He sticks a finger toward me.
“You don’t think I’ve noticed the girls in and out of your room since high school? She’s my best friend! Why would I want this for her? You don’t know how to settle down.” His words are like venom. The words sting and I try to take them in, but they burn the whole way down. I try to keep it in my head that he’s just upset and lashing out, but it’s hard.
“It’s not like that,” I force out.
“Not like that? It’s always like that. She’s just another girl you’re going to toy with until you’re bored. That’s all you know how to do.” The words are like a slap across the face. My cool is quickly diminishing. I search for some calm response, some reply I can give that isn’t hot on the tongue. I come up short, though. I’m burning with anger.
“Fuck you,” I spit. Mom’s eyes go wide, and Audra just drops her head in her hands, either out of exhaustion or defeat, I’m not sure.
“Boys,” Mom snaps through gritted teeth. “I did not raise you to speak to each other like this.” The last part comes out a little shaky, like we’ve broken her heart. I’m sure, on some level, we have. We haven’t really gotten into it like this since we were kids. Except now we have the knowledge to really take low blows at each other.
“I can’t. I can’t fucking understand how no one is on my side.” He throws two hands up in the air. “You’re supposed to be my best friend,” he says, pointing at Audra. His voice wobbles when he says it in a familiar way that digs a hole right in the center of my chest. I know he’s fighting back tears.
“And you.” His voice has more bass to it now, turning to face me with a pointed finger in my face. “You don’t deserve her. You’ll break her heart, and don’t you think she’s had enough broken hearts?”
The notion that I don’t deserve her doesn’t hurt me. That isn’t news to me. I don’t know that there is a soul out there that truly deserves to have her in their life. She’s just that good, that perfect. Knowing my own brother thinks I’m incapable of this kind of love, though? Knowing he thinks all I plan on doing with her is playing some kind of game just to cut her loose? That hurts. That feels a lot like a knife stuck right in my chest.
I don’t have a comeback. In fact, I don’t have words at all. All I have is this ache in my chest that, under all his anger, this is what my brother thought of me the entire time.
Apparently, I don’t need to find one, though, because to my surprise—and seemingly everyone else’s at the table’s—Audra stands up. She meets him where he’s at and sticks a finger in his face. Her cheeks are burning red, and her chest is rising and falling at a much faster pace than normal. She’s fucking pissed. And if I wasn’t so hurt, I might be turned on.
“No. You don’t get to throw a fit and start throwing insults left and right because you’re mad at me. If you’re mad at me, you can say something about me,” she says, turning her hand and digging a finger into the center of her chest.
“He didn’t do anything.” She’s nearly yelling now. “Go throw your fit somewhere else. I get it, I fucked up. I’ll make it up to you at some point, but you don’t get to just talk to everyone however you want in the meantime.” She drops her body back into her seat. The room is silent now. Leave it to my girl to shock everyone into silence.
“Okay,” Ares says, turning toward the stairs.
“Okay?” she asks, obviously confused that her words held any weight.
“Yeah. I’ll take some time, and then we’ll talk.” He shrugs like it’s that easy.
“Okay.” She nods.
Ares makes his way up the stairs and to his bedroom. For a few beats, we all just sit there with raised eyebrows and slightly parted lips, in shock that Audra shut that shit down with ease. Ares is notorious for not being the easiest to calm down once he’s going. Sure enough, though, my girl did it.