Chapter 22
22
“ D on’t be too nervous. A little nervous is good, though. Hell, I felt like I was going to barf the first time I came here and Blair tied me up for a demo and I didn’t even have more than a tiny crush on her. Sorry, is that weird to bring up right now? I swear she only has eyes for you and I love her, but as a friend. She’s amazing and you’re amazing, and I’m so happy for you two. Don’t worry about the sex stuff. If you overthink too much, then you won’t give yourself the chance to actually feel whether you like it. As cheesy as it sounds, try to let your body guide you. You have to promise to tell me what it feels like to be bitten. Speaking of which, if you need anything at all, I’ll be out here with Max. Not that you’ll need it! Everything will be great. You’ll have so much fun, I?—”
I grab Mona’s shoulders. “Mona. Calm down.” She’s been a nonstop stream of reassurances and encouragement since she led me to the hallway lined with doors on each side, and paused at one with a solid red wood door at the far end. It looms ominously in front of us, but I barely have the capacity to think about that because of how much my best friend is freaking out.
“Sorry,” she says with a sheepish laugh.
I give her arms a squeeze. “It’s okay. I get it. I’d be the same way if the situation were reversed.” I’d probably be even worse.
Mona nods, her expression growing serious. “I love you and want you to be happy. It’s… it’s been a long time since I’ve seen you excited about anything like this.”
“Yeah, divorce will do that to you.” I let out a humorless laugh.
“It’s been longer than that. That bastard never deserved you, and I could kill him for how he crushed your heart.”
I shrug. She’s expressed a similar sentiment before, but unlike in the past, I don’t feel the same seething rage and hurt. The pain of the past is still there, but it’s muted to a dull ache. The romantic part of my heart has started to bud again, despite my fear that nothing would ever grow there again after Zack destroyed it. And it’s because of Blair, and my faith that she’ll keep it safe. Even if she ends up not being the one to help me tend and grow it back to full bloom, I trust she won’t do anything to make it wither again.
“He doesn’t matter now,” I say, hoping that the words are the truth.
Mona smiles softly. “No. He doesn’t.” Her eyes light up a moment later. “Oh! They’re coming.” She tugs me into a crushing hug and gives me one last “it’s going to be great” before releasing me .
I turn and see Blair and Max, accompanied by two other people I don’t recognize—a tall, muscular Black man with a glinting nose ring, his hand placed possessively on the back of a significantly shorter, curvaceous White woman with faded pink hair.
“Oh! I didn’t know you’d be here tonight, Ari,” Mona says with a warm smile to the woman. There’s no one nearby, so I’m guessing we’re using real names, not kink pseudonyms.
The man who looks like he’s in the gym at least two hours a day gives her a dazzling smile. “Wouldn’t miss it. Ever since you showed her this place, she hasn’t stopped talking about it.”
The woman next to him rolls her eyes. “More like I told him once and then he kept suggesting we come together.”
“If you keep rolling your eyes at me, there definitely won’t be any coming together tonight, baby girl,” he says, giving her hip a squeeze.
“Ariana, Wesley, this is my best friend, Grace. Wesley and Max are in a monster support group, so Ari, Caleb, and I started our own group for people with monster partners. Mostly to talk about how ridiculous they are,” Mona says with a laugh.
“Oh, that’s really cool! Nice to meet you both,” I say, my friendly mask sliding in place atop my nerves. I almost miss Blair stiffening as Mona speaks, and I can’t tell if she’s uncomfortable with these newcomers or there’s something about what Mona said that bothered her.
“Nice to meet you, Grace,” Ariana and Wesley say almost completely in unison, and I laugh at how in sync they are with each other.
“I didn’t realize there were that many monster-human couples in the area. But then again, I didn’t realize there were enough monsters to warrant an entire night at a kink club. Or a monster support group!” I say, attempting to make small talk while trying to figure out why Max and Blair brought them over to talk to us.
Blair tenses again at the mention of the support group. Huh. I wonder if she didn’t know about it and is upset that she wasn’t invited to be a part of it.
Max nods. “One of the reasons I moved to Moonvale was the large monster population. It gets bigger every year.”
“Really?” I ask, trying not to sound too incredulous. Sure, Moonvale is nice enough, but it’s nothing that special.
“My dad thinks it has something to do with magical ley lines in the area, but it could just be that once a few monsters realized it was a safe place for them to live in peace, word got around,” Max says.
“Yeah, I heard from a friend that it was a good place to live. Moving to Moonvale was the best decision I ever made,” Wesley adds, giving Ariana a besotted look.
Blair clears her throat. “We’d like to get started. Wesley agreed to help Max in case we need his… assistance.”
My face heats at her mention of the scene and the idea of this stranger and his partner waiting outside the room as well.
“He’s a minotaur,” Blair explains.
“Oh! Wow, that’s so cool!” I blurt, then flush even more.
Wesley chuckles. “Thanks! I like to think so.”
Ariana rolls her eyes again, then squeaks as he pulls her against him and gives her ass a rough pinch.
“What did daddy tell you, baby girl?” He smacks her ass and then lets her go. Mona and I exchange a look, her amused and me wide-eyed at their dynamic. “Now be good and keep Mona company for a while.”
Mona lifts a questioning brow at Max and he gives me a sympathetic smile. “I thought Grace might not want everyone lurking outside the door.”
Bless that sweet, broody redhead. I love Mona, but the thought of her being so close while I’m doing… whatever Blair wants us to do, was weirding me out. I didn’t bring it up because I didn’t want to hurt her feelings, but I don’t get off on the idea of people watching or listening to me like she does.
“That makes sense,” Mona says, unbothered. She pulls me into yet another hug with a whispered, “good luck” and then heads off with Ariana.
I do my best to hide my relief until she’s gone. “Thank you,” I say to Max, then turn to Wesley. “You too. I apologize if you overhear anything… embarrassing.”
The beefy man waves a hand at me. “I’m happy to help. Plus, I’ve got these,” he says, pulling a pair of earbuds out of his pocket. “Max will let me know if I’m needed.”
“Good,” Blair says, giving him a wary look. It’s obvious that he has no interest in anyone but his “baby girl”, but her protective vibes send a little thrill through me.
And just like that, the distraction of meeting new people is gone. Nervous excitement slams back into me as Blair gives them a nod, then opens the red door beside us and gestures for me to go inside.
I step into the dark space, unsure what to expect, and my heart leaps up into my throat as Blair follows behind, closing the door and flicking on the lights.
My breath hitches as she steps closer behind me and rests a hand on my back while I take in the room. The first thing I notice is the large, black X-shaped cross against the far wall with hot pink cuffs dangling from the top points. In fact, that’s really all I can see, as a vision of me spread and restrained against it floods my mind.
Blair doesn’t say anything, and the silence in the room is so heavy and full of potential it makes it hard for me to breathe.
When I’m able to look away from the cross, I see the table with a bright pink flogger that matches the cuffs, and a lighter pink wand vibrator neatly laid out on it. It all looks like what BDSM Barbie would use.
“Did you get those just for me?” I ask, stepping toward the selection, a smile curving my lips as I turn to look at the woman behind me.
Blair chuckles. “Yeah. I’m appreciating pink a lot more lately.”
A pleased flush washes over me. It might as well be her saying that she’s appreciating me. “I love it,” I say softly. I truly do. Maybe it’s silly to be so touched by her picking things out to match my favorite color, but I can’t help it. “It even matches my dress!” I add brightly in an attempt to disguise how besotted with Blair I’m feeling right now.
“I noticed. It’s a shame that you won’t be wearing it during our scene.”
The mood shifts abruptly with her words, my body flooding with awareness of the powerful, dominant vampire here with me and the promise of what’s to come.
“Are we starting?” I murmur.
“In a moment. First, how is your neck tonight?”
I shrug. “Not too bad, thankfully.”
“Does it hurt to hold your arms above your head?” Blair gives me a concerned look.
I reach up to test it out, though usually that doesn’t cause me pain. The hem of my dress rides up my thighs as I do and Blair’s eyes dart down with a flash of heat, before dragging back up to meet mine. I keep my arms up, pinned in place by her gaze .
“No pain. I won’t be able to turn my head to the left much right now, but otherwise I should be okay.”
Blair nods, and I lower my arms, resisting the urge to smooth my dress out. She’s going to see everything soon. When I was getting dressed, I felt bold. Now I’m second-guessing my choice to not wear underwear.
Will she think I’m too eager? Will she like the way I look naked?
Blair saw me in pasties and a thong when I was part of a burlesque student performance with Mona, but that was almost forty pounds ago. I like my body’s new fullness, but will she?
“What are you thinking so hard about?” Blair asks.
“Ugh, stupid bullshit I thought I didn’t care about,” I groan.
Blair cocks a brow at me.
I let out a sigh and continue. “I was worrying you won’t like what I look like naked because I’ve gained weight. Which, I know, is ridiculous. I’m hot. I think Mona is objectively one of the sexiest people alive, and she’s plus size. But there’s that annoying voice that says, ‘what if you’re wrong and Blair thinks you’re gross?’ I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, because I had the same voice before. It just said different mean things.”
I expect Blair to say something reassuring or passionately proclaim I’m a goddess, but she snorts. “Some things are universal, aren’t they?”
“Huh?”
“I have that voice, too,” Blair explains. “Between the shame from growing up as a closeted queer goth in a born-again Christian home ingrained in my brain, and the hateful bullshit that society puts on me as a Black woman, I’m not immune to self-doubt.”
“Whew, okay,” I say, then my eyes widen. “I’m not relieved you’ve had to deal with that shit, sorry! It’s just nice to know you’re human like me. Or, uh, you know what I mean. ”
“I do. And in case it doesn’t become abundantly clear to you tonight, I think you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met.”
Oh. My insides melt at her words.
There’s a few moments of silence, Blair waiting to see if there’s anything else I want to get off my chest. But I’m still stuck on her saying I’m beautiful, so I stay quiet.
“Are you ready to begin?” she asks, her voice pitching a touch lower than usual.
I am. “Yes,” I breathe.
“Alright. Since we’re alone in here, I’m going to use your name. You may call me Mistress, or Mistress Blair. You may speak freely for this scene, and that includes telling me immediately if your neck hurts, you start to feel pins and needles or numbness in your limbs, or feel any other discomfort that isn’t intentional. Use your safeword at any time if you need to stop. Do you understand?”
“Yes, Mistress.” We’ve discussed all of this prior to tonight, but the reminder helps ground me.
Blair nods. “My safeword is ‘sparkle’.” Her eyes hold mine as if daring me to crack a joke, and I can’t hold back my snort.
“Sorry, Mistress.”
Her lips twitch as she suppresses her smile, and it seals my certainty that no matter what happens tonight, we’re going to be okay. That our friendship doesn’t completely disappear when the scene begins, but serves as a bond that will allow us the comfort and trust needed to explore my desire to submit.
And hopefully my desire to find out if we could be something more than friends.