Chapter 21
21
W e’re going to The Vault tonight. I’ve arranged everything with Max and Mona, who both readily agreed to help. Max, because he knows he literally owes me his life, and Mona because she’s obsessed with the idea of “her two best friends being together”. Her words, not mine. It makes my undead heart squeeze whenever she says I’m her best friend. I’ve never been anyone’s best anything, outside my professional life.
I told her about my fear of harming Grace, and while I tried to leave out the more gruesome details of my past, she came right out and asked what happened that would make me worry. That was the second time telling someone I’m a murderer, and both times I didn’t get the reaction I anticipated. Grace was the epitome of kindness and empathy, and Mona… she rolled her eyes at me and told me I was being ridiculous.
I’m beginning to realize she might be right. It’s difficult to feel like anything other than a monster, when I dream about that horrific night far too often, but it’s hard to argue when I’m two for two with people I trust telling me that’s not the case.
I’ve built what I thought was an impenetrable exterior both to shield myself from getting hurt again or letting myself hurt others, and now that it’s cracking, I feel off-balance.
I’m feeling more in general. My confession and subsequent call with Grace was the first time I’d cried in over five years. It’s easier to laugh freely when Mona makes a joke. I even send Nic an apology for my rude rebuffing of his offer to help with my garden, and am flooded with unfamiliar warmth when he readily accepts it and I find the next day that the lights are installed and he’s left a note wishing me a good weekend. If I’d seen him in person, I might’ve hugged him.
Me. Hugging someone. Voluntarily.
I don’t know what to do with this version of myself. I worry that if I don’t find a way to shore up my defenses again, I’ll lose all the control I’ve worked so hard for. Letting people in and allowing my emotions to lead me has never ended well, and yet, I find it much harder to shut myself off again now that I’ve received a taste of care.
If I’m not careful, I’ll become as ravenous for that feeling as I am for Grace’s blood.
I’m still not sure letting myself bite her is a good idea. After some negotiation—me suggesting we wait a little longer before I bite her, and Grace insisting that it be the first thing we do tonight to get the fuss over with—we’ve settled on doing it toward the end of our scene. That way, if it’s too much for me and I need to change my mind, Grace will still get more of the experiences she’s eager to explore.
For all my skill at being a domme, I’m finding it difficult to refuse Grace anything she asks.
God, I’m already so far gone for her. I can feel the hurt and disappointment that’ll happen when Grace decides to move on to someone else coming from miles away, like a train barreling towards me, and instead of stepping off the tracks, I’m voluntarily tying myself to them.
The Vault’s parking lot is crowded when I pull up to the club. I drove here alone, since Mona insisted Grace ride with her and Max. I’m not sure if it was for moral support or to grill her on everything that was going on between us. I hope she doesn’t freak Grace out too much with her enthusiasm.
The bouncer lets me in with a quick nod hello, and I linger for a moment in the short, dark hallway that connects the entrance area with the club’s main room. I can already hear the dull thrum of moody, bass-heavy music through the door at the end of the hall, and the vibrations send goosebumps skittering across my skin.
I frown at the unusual, involuntary reaction. Since I died, my body doesn’t respond to stimuli in the same way it did in life unless I dedicate energy from the blood I’ve consumed to make it happen. I haven’t felt the hairs raise on my arms since I died.
Is that a good or bad sign?
I inhale as deeply as I can and hold the air inside me for a long moment before exhaling with a powerful sigh.
It’ll be okay.
I’m in control.
Grace wants this.
I want this.
Max and Mona will keep her safe in case something goes wrong.
I open the door at the end of the hallway and let the blast of moody club music wash over me as I walk inside, the energy of the space transforming me from Blair to Mistress Bella. My shoulders roll back, and my hips sway as I take purposeful strides in my black stiletto boots.
I’m aware of the appreciative eyes that land on me, but I don’t pay attention to the monsters lounging and mingling in the large, open room. Mona stands and waves from the same set of couches we sat together at before, though she didn’t need to. I knew where they were the second I entered the room, my instincts honing in on Grace’s presence immediately. Grace turns her head as she follows Mona’s movement and we lock eyes.
Time slows and my vision tunnels, my heightened senses so focused on the blonde across the room that I almost stumble in my heels. It feels like everyone in the room can sense the tension stretched between us in this moment, taught as a bowstring.
And then Grace’s lips curve into a shy, excited smile and it breaks. I smile back, knowing that it goes against the stern domme persona most people here expect of me. I don’t care what any of them think. All I care about is her.
Grace and Max join Mona in standing, the bubbly blonde giving me a small wave as I approach. Mona’s demonic fiance nods in greeting, but I can barely acknowledge it because…
Fuck, she’s gorgeous.
Grace has on a hot pink dress that clings to every curve of her body. It’s clear she’s not wearing a bra from the way the fabric molds to her breasts, the neckline dipping so low that if she were to lean forward, you’d see a hint of her nipples. It makes me want to bite and suck at the generous swell of her tits until she’s breathless and aching for more.
My eyes fall to the gentle curve of her low belly. God, I don’t know if there’s anything sexier than seeing the outline of her softness just waiting to be unwrapped and worshiped. There’s no panty line, which means she’s bare underneath, and fuck if that doesn’t make me want me to have her sit back down and spread her legs so I can feast on her pussy right here in the middle of the club.
Who am I kidding? I’m greedy. The only one I want to witness Grace come undone is me. Even letting Max monitor our scene makes the possessive part of me bristle, though it’s necessary.
I wet my lips and resist the urge to grab Grace and haul her off right now to the private playroom I reserved for tonight.
“Bella!” Mona pulls me into a hug, snapping me out of my lust-addled thoughts. Her campfire scent is a balm to frayed nerves I didn’t even realize I had. With her mouth close to my ear, she holds me in place for a moment. “You’ve got this,” she whispers, before squeezing me and pulling back to give me a meaningful look.
“Good to see you, Grace.” I direct the words to Mona, but Grace answers.
“Good to see you—shit, that’s so confusing.” Grace crosses her arms in frustration and glares at Mona. “You need to change your kink name if I’m going to come here more often.”
Max lets out a soft chuckle, and slides in next to Mona, wrapping an arm around her waist and squeezing her hip. “I agree. Let’s pick something else… maybe Siren?”
Mona’s golden brown cheeks darken as he practically purrs the name idea at her. “Yeah, that could work.”
“There we go. Problem solved,” Max says, giving her a heated smile that makes her flush even darker .
I hope they can stay focused when I need them to monitor me and Grace later. I swear those two are always seconds away from tearing each other’s clothes off. Or rather, Max tearing Mona’s off while she pretends to beg him not to.
“You look perfect, Rose,” I say softly, while our friends are distracted.
“So do you,” she whispers back, her eyes dropping down my body, then back up to my face, with a shy smile that spreads slowly into a wider grin. “How the heck do you even get into something like that?”
I wore something more suited to my domme persona tonight, both because we’d be out in public and because Grace seemed a little disappointed I didn’t give her the full experience of Mistress Bella for our first scene. My black latex catsuit is high-necked and full coverage, with only my arms bare.
I laugh at her question. “A lot of patience and lube,” I say, loving her flustered reaction. “Not nearly as sexy as it sounds,” I add. “But at least I don’t have to worry about sweating since I’m a vampire.”
“Speaking of vampires… I thought you said it was monster night, but I haven’t seen anyone who looks, uh, non-human,” Grace says, her eyes scanning the room, a flicker of nervous curiosity.
“Oh, don’t worry, you’re surrounded by them,” Mona says with a cheerful laugh.
Grace’s brows shoot up, and she scoots a little closer to me. “Wait, really?”
It makes my breath hitch, both from the hit of her delectable scent and from her instinctual reaction to go to me for protection. I’m one of the most dangerous monsters in here, and yet she feels safe with me.
I don’t understand it, but god, I fucking love it. My fingers twitch with the urge to draw her against me and whisper that she has nothing to worry about. That I can handle any threat that dares come her way—which they won’t, considering I’m with her. My reputation of not tolerating bullshit is well established at The Vault, both with regular and monster patrons.
“Yeah,” Mona says with a laugh at Grace’s surprise. “They stop letting people in after 11, and then do a quick security check to make sure everyone is good to let down their glamors or shift. Things get pretty wild then, but you’ll most likely be otherwise occupied.” She waggles her eyebrows at me and Grace.
“If you’d rather wait a while so you can see?—”
Grace shakes her head emphatically. “No! Uh, I mean, it’d be cool to see that, but I’d much rather… get started. With you.” She adds the last part with a small, nervous smile that makes my chest squeeze.
I nod. “Then, we’ll get started.” This time I do reach out and touch her, just the tips of my fingers resting against the small of her back. I expect her to tense at my touch, but some of the tension in her posture melts.
Fuck, she’s already so responsive to me and we haven’t even started. I don’t know how I’ll make it through tonight without completely losing myself to my obsession with this woman.
“You two ready?” I ask the couple next to us and they nod in unison. No going back now. A burst of nerves explode in my stomach. “Rose, will you go ahead with Siren? Maybe she can give you a tour of the private playroom area. I need to talk to our demon friend for a second.”
Grace tilts her head a little in a silent question and I do my best to not show my tension in the smile I give in return. When Mona leads her off, I follow her with my eyes until Max softly clears his throat .
“Right,” I say, looking back at the redhead, who’s giving me a questioning look.
“You’re scared,” he whispers, and despite no one being close enough to overhear us, I still stiffen. “Sorry, I know it’s not my place to dive into your emotions, but Mona loves you and I like you even though you’re not a fan of me, so I need to help if I can.”
He’s wrong. I didn’t like or trust him at first, and it took a long time seeing him treat Mona with nothing but adoration and respect to accept that he’s not a bad guy. But I like Max now. Not nearly as much as Grace or Mona, but he’s tolerable. For all his abilities to sense emotions, I’m surprised he hasn’t noticed the change yet.
I don’t correct him. I’ve had too many soft emotions lately. I don’t need to pile a fondness for Max onto them.
“You are helping. I wanted to double-check you know what to do in case…”
Max nods. “I do. If you want, you can try to charm me to be certain that it still doesn’t work.”
As someone who is half succubus and has studied a good amount of magic, Max is almost entirely resistant to compulsions. Still, it’s a good idea to make sure. I tap into the power in my blood and lock eyes with him, channeling the full force of my mental domination into it. “Kneel.”
His lips twitch. “Nope, nothing.”
“Good.” That still doesn’t address my concern that he won’t be able to overpower me enough to pull me away from Grace if I go into a frenzy while feeding from her.
I don’t have to say it. Max picks up on my worry immediately. “Someone I know from a monster group I’m a part of is here tonight. He’s a minotaur. I could ask him to stand guard with me. His partner is a human, and she’s friendly with Mona, so they could hang out while we monitor you. That way, if something does happen…”
A minotaur could definitely restrain me. As for the rest, I get what he’s not saying. Max is trying to prevent me from terrifying both of my friends if things go horribly wrong.
A surge of affection and appreciation for the considerate demon bubbles up inside me.
Max gives me a surprised smile, and he looks like he might try to give me a hug, so I hold my hand up to stop him. “Thank you, Max. That’d be good.”
He smiles and nods. “Okay. I’ll go grab him,” he says, but lingers in place like he’s debating saying something else.
“What?” I ask, my tone a bit too sharp.
“It’s going to be okay,” Max says solemnly. “Grace cares about you, and I don’t have to be an empath to know you’d do anything for her.”
I want to protest that there’s no way he can know what I’ll do when the monster inside me gets a taste of Grace’s blood, but his adamance is mildly reassuring.
All the pieces are in place to keep Grace safe. Now all that’s left is to let myself take the risk, knowing that in one night, I could destroy my fragile hope for something good if I’m not strong enough to stay in control.