Chapter 33 – When the Stars Align #2
Some tension I'd been holding, somewhere deep in my body, let go, and I exhaled, sharp and sudden.
"That's good," I said. I scooped up the datapad and walked across the room, rifling through the file.
There were extensive brain scans and blood-work panels for both of us, and a lot of technical terminology that didn't make any sense, but I was good enough at skimming to get the gist of it. All clear.
Until – "I'm sorry, what the fuck is this psychological profile?"
I turned to stare at Valerie Prior, who held her hands up in innocence. "Don't look at me, I didn't write it."
"I'm –" I scoffed, flicking back through the paragraph again. "History of trauma has left subject susceptible to forming intense connections with those who show rudimentary kindness and care. I'm – That's not what I'm like! I don't just latch on to anyone who's nice to me!"
Across the room, Valerie pointedly said nothing, suddenly studying the ceiling as if it were very interesting.
"That's stupid," I said, but some inner voice unhelpfully reminded me of the people I had attached myself to after very little time at all.
I'd thrown myself into Alet Trident's four arms at fifteen because she made some passing comment about how hard I'd worked to load her shuttle. And there was Silver Sea, and Nilli.
And of course Araxis.
Alet Trident had said that I would pick up scraps of love and call them a feast. Had she been right? Had the justiciar figured that out in only a few days of interviews?
I stared down at the screen, betrayed.
"That doesn't mean what you feel isn't real," Valerie added belatedly. "It just means you bond quickly! But that's okay: Araxis does too. Scroll down a bit to the next header and you'll see, where it talks about –"
I saw the bolded words she was referring to, and I closed the window immediately. "That's private," I said, low. I pulled the datapad tight to my chest, staring at her. "His gender shouldn't be in a report –"
"Okay, listen, I'm sorry to upset you," Valerie insisted. "This is from the justiciar's report. Araxis is looking at a copy too. It's all highly confidential; it won't leave this ship. Promise."
"Fine, great. So what's the point of this little visit, then?"
She actually winced, and then had the gall to look morose.
"Well, I had a few things I wanted to talk to you about.
I was here to consult on your translation and to connect the justiciar with some human physicians and psychologists who could tap in as needed.
But there are a few little… things that I held back.
Classified things. If you – open that up again, there's another document I've loaded for you. "
I didn't move, holding the pad to my chest and watching her. I didn't trust her at all. I didn't trust any of this.
Valerie cleared her throat, watching me like I was a cornered animal and she wasn't sure what I was going to do next.
"You're right: it's weird to see humans who aren't part of your former cult in Primus territory.
But it won't be weird for much longer. True, humans can't pilot the Maelstrom on our own.
We lost a lot of good people to trying over the years; many brilliant minds got liquefied along the way.
But…" She gestured to the datapad again.
I gave in, tapping the screen back on and flicking over to the other document.
It was rife with diagrams and a lot of specialized language that I didn't understand.
Hell, more than a third was in a language – languages – I didn't know.
But the more I skimmed, the deeper the crease between my eyebrows became.
"I'm not following," I said finally, although I was worried that I was starting to and the picture that was coming together was dangerous.
"So our brains are pretty… malleable, I guess," Valerie said, frowning as she tried to find the right words.
"Especially for those of us who've grown up in deep space.
They're way less settled than other species' brains.
Ours are always growing and branching out, building new connections and synapses.
It's why we took the idea of the, what was it, biological control mechanism seriously; it could have been real.
Definitely glad it's not – but that malleability is significant in other ways.
We can't pilot, true, but humans are perfect co-pilots in the Maelstrom.
Our success rate with human co-pilots is 100% with zero neural degradation for either pilot on the other end. "
My stare flew up to meet hers. Burning through the Maelstrom was a dangerous way to traverse great distances in little time, but it took a physical toll on the pilot.
Even the best pilots who were most attuned to the Maelstrom only had a certain number of trips in them before they risked madness and death; each time they burned through the roiling colours of the Maelstrom, they lost pieces of who they were.
If humans could change that –
The entire shape of the galaxy would be transformed.
"Holy shit," I breathed.
"Yeah," Valerie said. "I know. Obviously, you can see why this is classified."
"Then why are you telling me?"
She smiled again, mischievous. "Because I think you've got potential. How would you feel about doing some light spying?"
I almost choked on my spit, and I sputtered for a moment while she watched. "I'm sorry. What is light spying?"
"Look." Valerie rested her elbows on her thighs as she looked at me thoughtfully.
"We have people almost everywhere, feeding us information about what's going on politically in Primus.
They're not all humans either – remember when you thought, back in the Tournament, that you could have played things differently by solving problems to get what you want?
That's what we do: we help out and our people send us information so we have a clearer picture of what's going on galactically. "
"Right." It was a good pitch, that was for sure – but I'd learned what propaganda was when I'd left Seraphim, and a well-intentioned and politically neutral human organization definitely sounded like bullshit. "Really noble of you, I'm sure."
She shrugged. "I don't know, when you get your start standing in opposition to an oppressive corporate regime on Earth, certain things tend to get baked into your constitution.
And I mean that: I can send you our actual constitution if you like reading a bunch of people from a hundred years ago wax poetic about justice and the evils of capitalism.
But you're right, we do it for a reason: Primus won't recognize Perseus as a legitimate political body yet – we're working on it, believe me, and we're getting close – and there's a lot going on. "
At my blank look, something flickered across Valerie's features that looked suspiciously like pity.
She wiped it away quickly, though. "It's not your fault you're out of the loop: you've been running full-tilt to keep your head above water since you escaped your cult.
But we're at the precipice of a volatile time.
Those ketaari land claims you brushed off, they're one part of a much bigger movement.
CPEF is on its last legs. The Assembly is ready to go full nuclear with the rest of Primus, and Ki-Angai has already pulled chikaari diplomats from all major stations.
Fuck, even Seraphim – who are a bunch of idiots with their thumbs up their asses – know something is coming so they're out and about trying to make alliances, and failing spectacularly at that.
Things are about to get very fucking dicey…
and we need some status before shit hits the fan because if we don't have some sort of power, the moment Primus learns that we make perfect co-pilots, it'll be open season on humans. "
She was right: I didn't have the foggiest idea about what was happening on a political scale across Primus.
It wasn't like I had a lot of time to catch up on the latest developments in the inter-planetary parliament or the newest regulatory decisions, or anything beyond which alien with social status and/or a hefty credit balance had recently landed on Yellow Fin and was headed to the den, and what their predilections were.
"If I'm clueless, I'd make a fucking awful spy," I said then, because it still didn't make sense.
Valerie studied me carefully, chewing on her lip. "No, I don't think so. You've spent your whole career eavesdropping and gathering gossip. You don't need a political science degree to know when someone's saying something juicy. And we're not trying to do anything nefarious –"
"Yes, no one who was doing anything nefarious would ever say that," I drawled.
She grinned. "Yeah, yeah, I hear it now.
But honestly, Sashen, hand to my heart –" And she did actually raise her hand and place it over her chest. "Perseus only gathers information so we can make sure we're positioned to take care of ourselves and our allies.
And we don't have anyone inside of abayan territory and we don’t know nearly enough about their culture to make in-roads, so we'd like to work with you, if you're interested. "
I studied her, trying to determine if any of this was real or if it was another trap for me to stumble into. "And why exactly would I want to work for you? My track record hasn't exactly been stellar lately when it comes to signing on with new employers. Or doing shady shit."