Chapter Twenty-One Seraphina #2
“What are you thinking?” Ryder asked, catching my eyes. “You have a theory, don’t you? You know a lot more than we do.”
“That’s all it is, though.” I placed my hands on the counter. “It’s possible our person in charge is someone in Russia, and they’re pulling the strings, as Alex suggested, and Nina is somehow tied to them. And that someone is why Ezra behaves.”
“You mean, why Ezra never ...” That uncomfortable pause from Ryder pained me to hear. “... tried anything with you?”
I nodded. “Ezra didn’t want Nina—or anyone else—to know my real name or why I was working for him. He told me to keep that story between us.” For his own reasons.
Ryder discarded his cup in the sink, a scowl marring his lips.
“Let’s assume someone in Russia is actually the one in power, and they’re responsible for taking over the drug-trade business in the US from the cartels,” Reed began.
“Would they also have the power to keep the story of what happened to your family from making it to national news? Last I checked, our media wasn’t owned by any Russian conglomerates or the Kremlin. ”
“And, for that matter, I still don’t get why Nina’s brother was targeted. Not unless he planned to betray them, expose the truth about their operation, and so they made it look like the cartel took him out,” Alex tacked on.
Ryder stroked his jaw, quietly contemplating everything, before saying in a firm tone, “Let’s assume the worst about everyone and everything until we know who and what we’re up against.”
“You never admitted to Ezra on Saturday you were undercover for the DEA, right?” Reed asked. I’d forgotten I never told them exactly what happened that night.
“No, Ezra was questioning me in his office, but then a call came in. I assumed it was Nina. He had me taken away. He’d planned to meet us on the yacht afterward, but he never had a chance, thanks to you all.”
“If Ezra doesn’t know for sure you’re DEA, then I think it’s safe to say Lev got lucky when he tried to throw you under the bus. It’s looking more and more like no one from the task force told him there was someone else on the inside,” Alex pointed out.
He was probably right. There were too many holes in the theory that Ezra had a contact at the DEA.
The biggest one of all: I’d already be dead.
Long, long ago. A mole at the DEA would never withhold the information from Ezra that I was undercover.
That thought had gone through my head after leaving Miami, but I couldn’t take the chance I was wrong.
Nor did I want my handler at the agency to stop me and throw me in witness protection, either.
“I have no plans to turn myself over to the task force. I’m finishing this my way.” I looked at Ryder, expecting him to fight me on that, but he kept eerily quiet, which was almost more nerve-racking.
“Ezra will assume you’re guilty no matter what, since two of his men were killed the night you took off,” Reed said. “He’ll think the DEA had people watching over you and it was them who rescued you.”
“Not necessarily.” Ryder studied me for a quiet moment before continuing, “When Ezra learns Seraphina’s in Mexico hanging out with a main competitor of his, he’ll wonder if it was the cartel who planted her undercover with him and they were the ones who saved her Saturday night.”
“An enemy of my enemy is my friend,” I murmured under my breath as Ryder put two and two together, understanding yet another reason why I’d specifically chosen this cartel to target.
“Ezra will more than likely realize I knew from the very beginning the cartel was framed for my family’s murders and his organization was responsible. ”
“Once Ezra confirms you’re really here and have been talking to a Morales, Ezra may reach out to the cartel and try to negotiate—if ángel didn’t make contact with him first, for all you know.” Ryder’s jaw tightened. “Hell, Ezra may have already started the conversation with the cartel, too.”
“Ryder,” I whispered, worried he was about to fall down a rabbit hole of worry where the only outcome he’d decide was acceptable was to reject my plan.
“Don’t ‘Ryder’ me,” he grunted, shaking his head.
“Ezra will offer ángel or the cartel whatever either one wants if you’re turned over to him, including coming himself.
” The man’s eyes were going to bulge from his sockets as stress lines bracketed his mouth.
“This has been your backup plan all along, am I right? This is what you were afraid to tell us. It’s why you’ve been stalling.
You’re not just drawing Ezra here; you’re planning to put them all together, with you right in the fucking middle.
” He stepped closer to me, crowding my space, and I forgot we weren’t alone. “Are you out of your mind?”
Maybe a little. But what choice did I have?
Plan B was all I had left. “It’s possible they wind up turning on each other.
That Ezra and the cartel won’t hold up their end of whatever deal they make.
Can’t trust criminals, right? Ezra will never actually give them anything, and the cartel has to know that.
But they can’t pass up a chance to go after the organization who’s been ruining their business.
” I was growing lightheaded as I tried to stand my ground and pretend I wasn’t actually terrified of my own plan.
“And I’m not going to be alone in all this,” I reminded him.
“I do trust ángel not to turn on me, and I also have someone—”
“Martín,” Ryder said, cutting me off.
“Martín can’t operate outside of Mexico without risking arrest, but here, he’s both revered and feared.
A local hero to the people. An enemy of the cartel.
And he’s why the plan needs to take place in Mexico,” I explained.
“Best-case scenario, we take all these assholes out in one swoop. Ezra’s organization right along with the top members of the cartel.
” Then ángel would also be free of his family’s hold once and for all.
Surely ángel would understand those risks and would probably even be on board with taking them all out. An enemy of my enemy and all—and, well, his own family was also his enemy.
“A win-win,” I added before Ryder tried to shut me down.
“Not a win.” Ryder stabbed the air in the direction of the ground. “It’s a suicide mission for you, and if I ... if I wasn’t here, then I can’t imagine ...” He snarled and turned away as if unable to handle looking at me right now.
“Martín will have my six. He’ll never let anything happen to me.”
“And where’s Martín now? Why’d he let you come here alone?” Ryder snapped, turning back around to face me.
I supposed that was a fair question, one that deserved answering.
“Any time Martín moves around Mexico, word gets out. He’s too well-known here.
I couldn’t risk anyone connecting him to what I’m trying to do and screwing up my plan before it even starts.
I need to get the cartel to agree to a meeting with me first without them thinking I’m setting up a trap for Martín to take them down. ”
“This is insane. All of it.” Ryder removed his hat, slapping it on the side of his leg as he dragged a hand through his messy hair.
“Martín and his team will protect me when it’s go-time.
” I reached for his arm, but he pulled away, and I had to lie to myself and pretend that didn’t hurt.
“I now have you here, too. If you still want to be, at least. You’ll keep me safe.
” My body shuddered as a worst-case scenario unfolded in my mind of its own accord.
“But if something does go wrong, then it is what it is. I told you already that all I have left is my revenge. I have no family. No friends. I have nothing. So if I die, I die. As long as we take down the bastards who killed my parents and brother, too.”
From the corner of my eye, I spied Reed and Alex standing. Leaving us alone. Sensing this wasn’t their fight.
Shit. Tears broke through my defenses, unleashing holy hell on my system, free-falling to the point that my vision became blurry.
“Nothing to live for?” Ryder rasped, returning his hat to his head. “How can you say that? You’re young. You have your whole life ahead of you. I never want to hear the words if I die, I die from you ever again.”
I swiped at my tears, hating them. Where were numbness and detachment when I needed them?
“Did that stop you from putting your own life on the line for the military? Even now, with what you do? No, you do what you think is right every day, even if it means you may not survive to see another.” My lip quivered as I did my best to not become a complete blubbery mess. “How is what I’m doing different?”
He dragged both palms down his face. “I knew you were going to be a stubborn pain in my ass, but I had no idea just how much,” he gritted out, then reached for my waist and pulled me against him.
I wanted to resist. To fight him. To push back.
But instead, I allowed him to take control, becoming dead weight in his strong arms.
“Let me make one thing crystal clear.” Without releasing me, he reached between us with his free hand, taking hold of my chin.
He urged my eyes up and to his face, and I found his blue greens glossy and narrowed.
“I’m allowed to risk my life, and now that I’m in yours, you need to accept the fact that under no circumstances are you ever allowed to risk yours. ”
“You can’t just decide—”
“Oh, I can, and I will.” His nostrils flared as he stared at me without blinking, waiting for my submission.
“Yes, you’re brave and smart, and ridiculously strong-willed and also .
.. well, amazing.” He dropped his face closer to mine, our mouths nearly brushing.
“But you’ve done things your way for long enough.
You got this far; now it’s time you let me help you finish things.
” He brought his hand from my chin to his heart.
“And that means it’s time we do things my way. ”
“And your way means what, exactly?”
“That I’m the only one who will ever have an if I die, I die moment for the sake of a mission. Got it?”