Chapter Twenty-Two Ryder
Chapter Twenty-Two
Ryder
“And what’s your way?” This woman, dammit, she really was going to give me an ulcer or a heart attack. It wouldn’t be the Sokolovs or the cartel who killed me—it’d be her. “Let me guess,” she went on before I could answer. “The safe way. The way that doesn’t use me as bait.”
“Finally on board with my plan,” I tossed out with extra sarcasm. “Thank you.” I was only now aware we were alone. Never a good idea when it came to us. “If you want to question Ezra, then so be it. I’ll head to Miami today and snatch and grab him. We’ll have answers from him by tonight.”
“Sure. Go kidnap a businessman on American soil. Solid approach. If his guards don’t kill you, you’ll wind up in a prison cell.”
She gave me a dose of my own sarcasm. I offered her some of my arrogance and revealed, “I don’t get caught.
It’s on the list of things that have never and will never happen.
Right along with the fact I’d never use a woman as bait.
And also, did I not take someone from Ezra’s house Saturday night in your presence without a problem? ”
She attempted to chase away the goose bumps I could visibly see on her arms, rubbing and rubbing. “Hmm ... yeah, well, I vaguely remember you did encounter a problem.”
“Yeah, the problem is standing in front of me now.” That was an asshole comment I didn’t actually mean.
“I wasn’t your problem. I didn’t have to be. Still don’t have to be.” She tipped her head in the direction of the door.
The sass kept on sassing from her, and I hated that it turned me on. I wanted to give it to her as good as she gave me.
We’re a pair. I positioned my arms over my chest so I wouldn’t take her over my shoulder, then spank that ass of hers en route to my bedroom. That wasn’t how to solve this. Wrong head to think my way through this. And yet it was also the only one that seemed to be working right now.
“Have your Homeland Security friends given you the green light to go after Ezra?” She shook her head. “Nope, didn’t think so. I won’t have you doing something illegal on my behalf.”
“Fine. I’ll do it for me. Not for you. Case closed.” I circled my finger like a blade of a helo, giving her my signal. Time to spin up and head out to Miami.
“Not so fast. I’m putting my foot down. Telling you no. You’re not going to lone-wolf it to Miami.” Lips parted, teeth clenched, she—
“Did you just snarl at me?”
“Ugh, because you make me crazy,” she shot back, flustered.
And she also distracted me from what I’d been seconds away from doing and still needed to do with her adorable display of growliness.
Growly was supposed to be my thing. “Do I need to remind you that you lone-wolfed it?”
“That was different and you know it.” She rolled her eyes. Of course she did.
So I rolled mine. Fucking hell.
I didn’t know what to do with this woman. Never had anyone make me so frustrated and aroused at the same time. I was in over my head—not that I’d admit that out loud.
I’d been surrounded by smart and strong women my whole life. My mom, for one. Every one of my exes. Women I worked with in the military.
But so help me, this fireball in front of me ...
She was everything I never knew I wanted but now had no clue how I’d live without.
Grit, strength, and bravery. I could go on and on with a list of adjectives that described her, and I also knew those descriptors were why I wouldn’t be able to easily get my way, mission-wise. I couldn’t control-override her into submission.
Settling my hands at my hips, I hung my head forward, trying to map out a plan to get me through this conversation first before we both snapped.
“There is no plan that works without placing me at the center of it, and you have to know that. The house of cards falls without me.”
She did come this far on her own, some dark part of my mind said, playing devil’s advocate. I didn’t like it. But she would’ve died Saturday if we weren’t there. That was the part of my brain I needed to listen to.
“I have intel and notes on my laptop about the Sokolovs’ operation. Maybe your team can offer a fresh perspective.” She dialed down her tone, probably realizing that aggravating an already agitated control freak wasn’t the best idea. “We can come up with a plan that—”
“Doesn’t put you in the middle?” I looked up at her. “Because that’s the only way we can work together.”
She lifted her eyes to the ceiling, hopefully taking a moment to consider my offer instead of coming up with a retaliation or rejection. “I have to meet with the cartel myself, or there is no plan. I’m not trying to be a stubborn pain in the ass like you think I am.”
She set her back to the counter. Not the best position to be in, because I just might box her in and never let her leave that spot—not until she came to her senses.
“I don’t have a death wish. Not really. I was scared of dying Saturday.” She wet her lips, slightly shaking her head, calming down even more, which I needed to do as well. “ Y no soy un tonto imprudente .”
“Translate, please.” The words grated out low and deep as I worked to resist my desire to cage her in.
“I’m not some reckless fool, like you also seem to think I am.” She pursed her lips and frowned.
Standing this close and not touching her was like being told not to squint while looking up at the sun.
An impossibility. I reached for her arm and slid my hand up to her biceps and gently held her.
She tracked the movement, her dark lashes sweeping down to take in the sight.
“I’ve never once thought you were a fool. ”
“And reckless?”
“Nothing you’ve done has been reckless, either. Just brave.” I hated to admit that, but it was true. “That doesn’t change the fact that the longer you stay in my life, the more I’m going to need heart pills.”
She scrunched her nose, and I had to fight the good fight yet again not to lean forward, not to kiss the tip of that cute nose. “I better not stay in it long, then. I don’t want to be bad for your heart.”
Those words were much worse for my heart, but I kept my mouth shut, because I couldn’t ask for a shot at forever after less than a week.
“We have to figure this out,” she said softly.
“We will. The plan will—”
“No.” She closed her eyes, set her hand on my wrist, guiding mine off her body.
Well, that stung. I let my arm fall back to my side and shook off the rejection.
“We can’t think clearly around each other. You’re not making the best decisions as team leader, are you?”
She had me there. All the way fucking there, in fact.
She kept her eyes sealed tight, as if she wouldn’t get through what she needed to say if she had to look at me. “I’ve been committed to my mission for justice for thirteen months; then you came into my life, and I’m so incredibly grateful you saved me and want to help, but I ...”
I backed up a few steps, waiting for her to finish. To kill me with what I felt coming. More rejection. Been there, done that. Over and over again. Starting at the age of six, when my dad left and never looked back.
I was used to it.
I could handle it.
It was fine. I’m fine.
“Just say it.” I tossed my hat on the other counter and tore my hands through my hair, turning away from her.
“Aren’t you worried, too? That this thing between us is interfering with the mission?” Her trembling voice compelled me to turn. Her eyes were open and on me now. “It’s like someone voodooed us or something.”
Now I was the one closing my eyes, unable to look at her. Unable to see her quivering lip and the chills coating her skin in the form of little ridges. “I know.”
“Maybe we commit to not touching each other until after the mission is over so we can focus?” Her words reinvigorated me. They gave me life.
“What are you saying?” I kept my distance but opened my eyes as I waited for her to continue.
“After it’s over, maybe we can explore this thing between us. Once we can think clearly without Ezra and the cartel between us, we can see if there’s something here.” She curled her fingers into her palms at her sides, quietly staring at me.
That wasn’t rejection; it was being reasonable.
“Does that mean you’ll at least consider a plan that doesn’t center around you being bait to take down these assholes?” I was trying to meet her in the middle here, which was the best I could do when it came to her safety.
“As long as you’ll agree to go with a plan that does involve me if it’s a better one,” she countered.
“Fine.” That hurt me to say, but I didn’t want her trying to take off and run again.
“Good.” She tossed her thumb over her shoulder. “Should I get my laptop? We can get started on going over everything while we wait for the call to come in.”
I picked up my hat and parked it backward. My eyes fell to her toned thighs. Memories of her on the counter this morning, with those gorgeous legs wrapped around my waist, hit my mind. This is not going to be easy. “We can’t be alone together. If this is going to work, we need a barrier. Always.”
“I agree.” Her gaze flicked to the tattoo inside her forearm as if needing to recite the words to help her get through this.
Maybe I did, too. You are your only limit. I was about to say something else, probably nothing all that enlightening, but my phone began ringing in my pocket.
I removed it, and Seraphina looked at my screen, eyeing the name that appeared there. Lainey.
“Oh.” There was jealousy in that little sound, and I was about to send the call to voicemail, but she stopped me.
“You should talk to her. She might have something important to tell you.” She met my eyes, giving me a nod.
“I’m gonna grab my laptop and phone. Get the guys back in here, and we’ll meet up in a few minutes in the living room, okay? ”
“Yeah, sure.” I waited for her to leave, and on Lainey’s second attempt to get ahold of me, I finally answered. “Hey, what’s up?” I set my hand on the counter for support as I waited for her to give me more orders I wouldn’t want to hear.
She cut right to it, her voice dry. “There’s been a change in plans. Director Hernandez will reach out soon, but he’s in a meeting with the DNI, Director Johnson.”
Johnson was the director of National Intelligence, which meant he sat at the top of every one of the nation’s spy agencies. That news, and this call, felt ominous as fuck.
“What’s going on?” My patience was already worn down from my confrontation with Seraphina, and I had a feeling my head was about to really spin now.
“The task force has been shut down. The plug has been pulled. Orders came from up the chain of command.” She leveled me with the shocking news.
I shoved away from the counter, my heart racing all over again as I noticed Alex and Reed making their way back into the room. “I don’t understand.”
“Your mission is over. You’re being ordered to return to the States without the asset.”
The asset? Seraphina was far more than an asset. “Spell this out for me: Why’s the task force being disbanded, and why’s my mission being called off?”
Alex caught my attention, his eyes widening in surprise.
A long sigh from Lainey crackled over the line. “We’re not being told anything other than to close up shop, stop looking into the Sokolovs, and Director Johnson said another agency will be taking over. We’re forbidden to be involved from this point on.”
Another agency? Like the Company? “Just tell me the CIA isn’t coming here for her.” I did not need that problem. I already had enough to deal with.
“I know you won’t actually come home,” she said in a low voice. “You won’t leave a woman in danger out there on her own. It’s not who you are.”
She was right about that.
“I know you’re not ready to trust or forgive me, but I’m going to do my best to earn it.”
“And that means?” I gritted out, my stomach banding tight.
“It means I’m going to try and buy you some time with Director Hernandez, and I won’t keep you in the dark. If I find out something, you’ll be the first to know.” She ended the call after that, and I lowered the phone as Seraphina reappeared, coming up behind the guys.
She looked at Reed and Alex, then back at me, her eyes narrowing as she read the room, the what-the-fuck energy passing through it. “Shit, what’d I miss?”