Chapter Thirty-Nine Ryder
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Ryder
After Nate left—locking us in the room, as he’d been ordered to do—I pulled Seraphina into my arms.
“He’s on our side.” Her face was smashed against my chest, so her words came out muffled.
“And if Reed hasn’t already done so, he’ll make sure Garrison is, too. Everything is going to be okay.”
“Still can’t imagine what would’ve happened had you not gone up on that balcony last week.”
I let go of her so I could look her in the eyes. “I’m glad we’ll never have to find out.”
She gave me a small smile, but I knew she was in knots about everything. Not that I could blame her. We were hostages, so there was that obstacle we had to navigate before we could move forward.
“Guess we still need to find a way to get word out to someone for backup, though, or Beth’s going to lead the operation tonight.”
“Just like Martín would’ve come here if he didn’t hear from you, Carter will realize something is wrong, too,” I reminded her.
“Carter will get word to Potus , and if we’re lucky, he’ll pull the plug on Beth’s op, but I don’t think the president will want to miss out on the opportunity to take out the Moraleses while we’re here. ”
She swept her fingers across her mouth, and I lost her eyes to the floor. “And what will the president want to do with Ezra? He’s essentially a pawn in Beth’s spy games. Not a good guy by any stretch of the imagination, but he may want to have him questioned, right?”
“Maybe.” Doubtfully.
“And the only way to draw out the Moraleses is with Ezra, and to do that, I’m still needed.
” She went over to the bed and sat, resting her hands on her thighs.
“And that’s why you’re still in broody central despite turning Nate on our side and being optimistic Batman will still come through for us, phone or not. ”
Batman? I smiled. She wasn’t wrong. Not that the guy had a Batsuit, but he certainly had the tools.
Knowing him, probably also a cave. “Let me just check the rest of the room for cameras and listening devices,” I deflected.
“I highly doubt Nate was playing good cop and he’s secretly on Beth’s side. ”
“But you’re not one to take chances. Not in your control-freak nature.”
“Not when it comes to the safety of my team. You’re still Delta Four. Not my mark or my asset.” I quickly went over to the lamp by the bed to check it.
“Not a mark or an asset. But not bait, either, not even if that means we could save so many lives by putting an end to the Morales cartel?”
My back muscles pinched at what she was getting at, steering us to the conversation I was working to avoid.
I set down the lamp after determining it was clear. “Seraphina,” I said on a defeated sigh while facing her, finding her unlacing her sneakers. “I, uh ... Let me finish clearing the room first. Bathroom too. Just give me a minute.” Give me a minute to pull myself together. Think clearly.
She nodded, then kicked off her shoes and removed her lightweight jacket.
I went to work on ensuring the room was clean of listening devices and cameras, and once I was satisfied that we were good, I returned to the bed and offered her my hand to stand.
“Let me truly be Delta Four.” She wasted no time killing me with that. “I want to be part of your team for this, and if one of you had to go undercover to put two evil enemies together to take them both out, you’d do it. Pretend I’m not the woman you fell for after only three days.”
It’s first sight for me. I kept that to myself for now, my chest tightening.
“Remember, I was undercover with Ezra for over nine months and managed to avoid winding up on Beth’s radar. I’ve got skills aside from acting and math. I can shoot. Fight.”
I took a moment to absorb what she’d said, and her eyes lit up, probably assuming I was coming around to her idea.
But no, I was picturing the fact she’d unknowingly been working for Beth all that time.
It had my head going ten different directions of what the fuck with all that could’ve gone wrong.
Ezra, not telling his wife, or anyone for that matter, that his “accountant” was really Seraphina wound up saving her life.
Not that I’d credit that man with protecting her.
But fate swung in her direction with that one, and thank God, didn’t miss.
“Okay, since you’re still processing ...” She rested her hand on my chest, looking up at me. “The only way we’ll ever have a chance to date and see what this thing is between us is if we take down the Moraleses.”
Date? God help me, that word felt so small and insignificant for what I wanted to do.
“The Moraleses know about me now.” She continued with that heart attack she was determined to give me. “Even if the president handles Beth’s team and Ezra, too, if we don’t stop the cartel, there will always be a target on me. At least, on Anna Cruz, and by extension of my alter ego, on me.”
I hung my head while securing hold of her wrist but didn’t remove her hand from my chest.
“I trust you and your team to keep me safe. I need you to trust me not to die on you. I have something to live for now. Not my revenge. But a future I’d like to explore with you.” Her voice broke from emotion.
There was so much I wanted to say, so much I wanted to give her of myself, but I ... had issues. Quite a few, in fact.
“If you can come up with a way to protect me that also takes down the bad guys, then promise me you’ll consider it?”
I wasn’t sure if I could make that promise. One thing at a time, though. First, we needed to relieve Beth of control, then go from there.
“Let’s talk about this once we know more, okay?” That was the best I could give her right now.
“Yeah, okay.” She glanced at the bed, and where was her mind going? “What do we do while we wait?”
I had a few ideas, none of them appropriate. “You could try closing your eyes and resting. I’ll sit next to you. Hold you, if you’d like?”
“I’m not tired,” she said as I let go of her, and she lowered her hand to her side, away from that organ in my chest rapidly coming back to life, thanks to her. “Can I ask you something? And I swear, it’s not about being bait.”
I gave her a hesitant smile. “Okay, then. Go for it.”
“How’d Alex ever end up with a woman like Beth? And what about Lainey?”
What about her? My smile immediately vanished. Could I take back the go for it ? I’d forgotten all about the fact Seraphina overheard Beth mention Lainey’s cheating earlier.
“Sorry. If that’s not my business, I understand.”
“No, uh, that’s okay.” Maybe it was easier to argue about being bait?
“Our jobs aren’t easy for most people to handle.
Makes it hard to date. Or to marry. We’re always operating.
Spinning up without notice. Dating someone in a similar line of work helps, I guess.
They understand our lives, because the same goes for them,” I explained quickly, unsure if I really got to the point of her question.
“Lainey’s not like Beth. I mean, she works for the government, and she fucked me over,” I admitted, “but she’s not evil. ”
“But she cheated and is pregnant? I mean, that has to hurt.”
How do I answer that? “I didn’t know she cheated, not until last weekend.”
She blinked in surprise. Yeah, talk about timing.
“I’m good, though.” I lifted my hand between us, a plea not to worry about Lainey, and I truly meant that.
“I promise.” My arm fell to my side. “It happening with a good friend, well ... that part sucks.” I dropped onto the bed, feeling the full weight of my words hitting me.
“But, uh, about Beth—maybe she was never a good person and Alex missed the signs. I don’t know. ”
“Oh.” I wasn’t sure how to interpret that little sound.
“That doesn’t mean I have to date someone I work with, just to be clear,” I hurried up and added so there was no mistake about my intentions with her. Then I fucked that up by admitting, “My relationships are usually pretty short-lived, regardless.”
I’d expected her to turn her back on me at that. Instead, she sat next to me and threaded our fingers together, resting our palms on top of her leg. “Do you think your relationships aren’t long-lasting because of him ?”
She really was good at math, putting two and two together. “Are you asking if my father not being in my life fucked me up?” Probably not the same words she’d have used, but I was generally more of a direct and to-the-point kind of guy.
“Sorry, if this is the wrong conversation to have right now, we could kill time and discuss something else, like your favorite color.” She filled the quiet and went on, “Although, I’m thinking I already know the answer, and it’s red.”
“I thought you don’t care about that.” I teasingly nudged her in the side, then glanced at her from over my shoulder.
“But also, you’re right. As long as it’s a red something you’re wearing.
” I kissed the tip of her nose. “And to answer your other question, yes. My dad may be tied to my relationship issues.” I cleared my throat, let go of her hand, and stood.
First time admitting that out loud. I waited for the weight on my chest to lift, hoping it would now that those words were out in the wild, but it didn’t. Not yet, at least.
When I faced her, she was in the process of standing as well. Her long lashes fluttered, and she closed her eyes.
“Ask whatever you’d like.” I was already in uncharted territory in so many ways, why not open up even more?
She would need to know about my baggage eventually to decide if she wanted to stick around. Until Carter pulled off the miracle we needed, I could go ahead and have a heart attack. You know, why not?
“You’re sure?” She opened her eyes, and I nodded my surrender. “Well, um ...” Tongue over her teeth for a momentary sexy distraction before she asked, “Will you tell me about him? Like, what happened? Why’d he leave?”
Could I do that and remain standing? I’m about to find out . “My father was a hockey player.”